A Star Wars Story: She's the same.
intro
What if… Vader thinks that Leia Organa really is too much like Padme Amidala? That maybe she isn't actually a different person… no, the force has a cruel way of reminding him of how weak he was back then. She isn't just similar. She is a reincarnation of his one and only love.
She affects him in the same way.
She Talks and acts the same way.
She's ignorant and hopeful in the Same Way.
She's Caring and loving in the Same Way.
She's come back from the dead for Revenge.
She hates him for murdering her in her past life.
She hates him for taking away her life and their unborn child's life.
She hates everything he's done, Everything he stands for.
He can never love her again.
He can never be close to her again.
He can never tell her the truth, ever.
He can never admit that he's in love again.
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She's The Same
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Chapter 2: The Princess
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What could she say about this evening? It had been everything everyone had said it would be. Winter had told her that this evening would be beyond compare, and Leia agreed with her. It was amazing. The Food was spectacular. The explosion timed firy-holo display, on the top deck just half and hour ago, had been beyond compare to anything she had yet seen.
But all that was nothing.
No, it had been distracting for a while, but then the novelty wore off as more unfortunate circumstances came around. She became more aware of her father and mother being drilled about allowing their only daughter to run for the place of Senator, and more attuned to the sound of her name being uttered, and the feeling of eyes bearing into the back of her. (Not a good feeling at all)
Finally she was able to sit down and take up a few pieces of refreshments that had been offered. Not much hope there…
The Princess gracefully stood up and bowed her head slightly toward the newest entourage of busybodies, as they came over to introduce themselves or to be introduced to her. They did not look particularly pleasant. They all appeared, or seemed indefinitely cruel. There jaws hardened through years, the impatient practice of the gritting and gnashing teeth.
'Why do I have to deal with these sorts of people everywhere I go?'
"Your Highness." The small group seemed pleased with themselves.
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Vader usually ended up standing near a wall, or a pillar. He didn't need to walk into the middle of the room in order to observe the things he wanted to see. Besides he was too recognizable. Most that were fortunate enough to see him coming gave him a wide berth, and unless they had been ordered to speak to him, would avoid him at all costs. It was to be expected. He had a reputation for having a short temper, and terrifying anger. He rarely came to these sort of events, and when he did most took that as a warning. If Vader was there, it meant one of them would probably die. He was the Emperor's executioner.
So, he stood there standing next to the door, awaiting the few glimpses of the senators that he was evaluating. He saw both Breha and Bail Organa, and their daughter was not with them, but it didn't take too long to notice where she was.
She was dressed in a pale blue coloured dress, with a metallic, winged-bird clasp (native probably to Alderaan) which seemed to be holding up her dress, on the top of her left shoulder, and her dark brown hair wound up high on her head. Her skin was what stood out the most a sharp contrast to her parents. Both of whom's skin had a light tan colour to it, whereas Leia's was pale, as if she hadn't seen the sun for a few years. She was very beautiful.
"You might not like me Ryas Tibah," the Princess was saying, apparently in a heated debate. "…and believe me the feeling's neutral, but before you start accusing me of things that never happened and frankly don't concern me, there should be facts and evidence brought to the table."
Overseer Ryas Tibah seemed pleased, and looked down his nose at her shaking his head as if all the evidence had already been found and that she was only delaying the obvious reveal.
She glowered. "You insult my family name. You align me with terrorists. You accuse me of being a alien and slave sympathizer; all the while the Empire is poring in billions of credits into the mining on Kessel, and has barely anything to show for it. And of that I can provide proof unlike…"
She would have continued to add to her case had not a young white-haired woman about the same age as Leia came up behind her. "Your father wishes to see you."
"Yes, okay Winter I'll come."
"Now, your highness." She cleared her throat.
It was then that the princess seemed to understand how her temper exposed her a little too much. Quite a few onlookers had now become engrossed with the conversation, and were staring.
She cleared her throat. "If you would excuse me Ryas Tibah, I always like a good debate, even when the points aren't based on facts."
He smirked as if he had discovered a hidden secret written in her body language. "You will be found out one of these days Princess. I only wish I get to see the look on your face when you are brought down a peg or two."
She frowned. "You will be waiting a long time. I have a duty to perform to the Empire, and I will not sit back and let myself be insulted by someone with no moral values, or any real standing in the Empire. I have been chosen by my people to replace my father and represent Alderaan, and you should be ashamed of yourself to be addressing me in such a manner."
She held her head up and appeared to look down at him. Considering her small height it was quite a feat. She spun on her feet and followed her aid back into the crowds of politicians that were busy discussing amongst themselves again.
Vader found he was frozen as he watched the confrontation. There was something eerily familiar about this woman. His eyes followed after her even as he rebuked himself for this foolishness. 'Where had he seen this before?'
Suddenly a forbidden memory, one he'd thought he'd destroyed and buried came back to life in his mind.
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[
"Anakin, tell the Chancellor to put an end to this war, and let diplomacy resume."
"Don't tell me to do that! Please never tell me to do that! Put a request like that in the senate where it belongs!"
"Ani, what's wrong?"
"Nothing…"
]
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'That had happened to someone else. A very long time ago…'
He ignored this new ache in his heart. He must have been imagining things. She wasn't that alike. She's a lot more brash and careless, angry and arrogant. She spoke to her father, and then she started gathering a group of male admirers about her. She was witty and intelligent and that helped to blind the minds of anyone close enough into blissful romantic oblivion.
'It's normal to feel appreciation for beauty. No matter if you're old, young, or alien.' But he couldn't believe just how much her presence seemed to be calling out to them… to him. Her soul, he felt, was honest, strong, and fierce, such a pure contrast to the quiet, sess pools, and lying fools in front of her. But she was also well-guarded her heart and mind were as hard as transparisteel, but didn't reveal anything. It was fascinating.
'She too good for them.' He felt her evident disgust through the force at one young man increased attention, as he pressed closer to her and touched her arm. She hid it well and managed to move back from him without appearing to. She was a well-spring of intense emotions.
'Fascinating.'
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[Another argument happened. But I don't feel like writing that, so you can imagine what it was and whom it was with. Leia has decided to cool off elsewhere. It wasn't too bad an argument, but it was enough to make Leia throw about some pretty terrible insults.]
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Vader found his feet following her as she passed out of the assembly hall. She was breathing slowly, trying to release her anger and not allow it to fester.
…. 'She's escaping. Say something….'
"You seem to be determined to cause trouble here your highness."
She stopped in front of a large window that over looked the half metallic- half frozen view outside. Her shoulders had tightened so briefly that it was barely recognizable then she turned gracefully in his direction. He realized she must have been surprised at his presence there. For some reason he felt very frustrated, almost angry with her, as if she had risked too much to be here, or in that confrontation, or to be in the same room as him.
'Why did I need to follow her! What am I doing?'
"You shouldn't be trying so hard to gather a following of enemies. They will come along naturally enough in time, especially in your line of work."
And then she did the unthinkable. She smiled at him. "Me, wait? I think you overestimate my abilities, and why would you think so…" She indicated back the way she had come. "…I have so many good examples of what politicians should be like, and do on a day to day basis. Surely, I'm not important enough for enemies."
'She's quite a performer…'
He took the opportunity to walk closer to her. To his surprise she didn't shrink back, but waited for him to approach. "Sometimes it is best to hold your tongue and observe before rushing into a situation without a plan. You gathered many worthless admirers today."
"Indeed, wise words Darth Vader. But I wasn't elected by my people to be another wallflower decorating the senate building." She said matter-of factly. "I can't help it if people are magnetized by my presence."
"You would admit it then. You draw people to you to kill them with words on a mere whim of yours."
Her eyebrows rose. "Well, I wouldn't have put it like that, but I suppose from an outsiders point of view, it might look that way."
"Be careful of who you try to kill, they have a habit of coming back to haunt you later."
"Are you speaking from experience? Who have you killed that have come back to haunt you later?"
"Traitors, Idealists, and weak-minded fools that don't see the true power within the Empire."
She shook her head as she looked back at the view. "So, you don't kill randomly? You might think me a foolish young woman, but I heard you kill on a daily basis, whenever you got angry, or slightly upset. Is that true?"
"No, I kill the Traitors of the Empire and the incompetent fools in the military that miss their opportunities."
"Well, that's harsh punishment."
"When you are accountable for the lives of thousands of men and you fail to use them effectively then you should be replaced." He didn't know why he was explaining himself to her. "It is merely common sense, if they are incompetent they have no worth."
"Thank goodness my people didn't have that attitude when giving me my father's position."
"Your father was hated, respected, condemned, and admired by many thousands of people..." He started.
"Hundreds of thousands, and into the millions…." She interruptingly added.
"…Many think you can not hope to replace him in either words, wisdom, or knowledge and respect." He turned his eyes away from her face then and looked out a large hallway window.
She turned to look at the window as well, and breathed in, folding her arms while doing so. "I'll have to prove them wrong. It's going to be a lot of hard work."
It surprised him then again, that feeling of finding someone with an almost kindred-like spirit. "You take pleasure in hard work then."
"I live for the challengers that life brings my way." She licked her lips. "The Empire has the potential to change and become far greater than it is. To expand, to embrace new ways of thinking, to invent new technologies, to save thousands of systems lost to poverty and sickness, that have been about since the Clone Wars."
"How unusual, a Politician with a conscience and ambition. What will become of your future policies I wonder?"
He looked down at her the same she turned her face up towards him. She had a look of playfulness and appreciation on her face as she gazed up into his mask. His mask hid all of his face, but for the red-tinted pressurized glass, that protected his weak eyes from the glaringly bright, standardized lights. She seemed to be staring past them into the deep odd colour of his own eyes.
She had an unusual searching expression on her face. "Vader, How long exactly have you been working for the Emperor? I know there is a lot of information about you that seems to be forbidden, but what did you do before you became Darth Vader may I ask?" Her tone was utterly conversational, and he could hardly believe she had thought it okay to ask.
His heart replacement seemed to stop for a moment, but then he answered. "You were right? That information is forbidden, and if you found out I'd have to kill you."
Leia raised her eyebrows. "So, very secret. Got it." She made a chopping motion with one hand into the other, symbolically ending her thought train of questioning. "No to asking questions about your past life…" She too crossed her arms behind her back.
They both just stood there looking out the window for a few moments before Vader started hoping for anything, something that could be spoken about between them could come up. (Where it was coming from he had no idea)
Thankfully she obliged him and she smiled wistfully. "It really is beautiful isn't it?" She let her arm stretch out in front of her indicating the landscape.
"It's empty and quiet. Hard to come by on Coruscant."
"Yes, very peaceful. I'm not surprised the Emperor wanted to build a Palace out here, but I must say it will be freezing."
"Indeed."
"So, Did you know I was born on Empire Day?"
'Strange...Where did that come from?' He moved his arms back round to the front, refolding them before him. "How fortunate for you."
"I know," She nodded. Her cheerfully, overconfident demeanour seemed to be pushing to the limit, a small show of mocking pride that shone through those dark brown eyes.
She continued. "I don't have to plan or organize anything special the state does everything for me. Grand Party every year, all in my honour. I'm sorry, no the Empire's Honour, I forgot."
Vader felt a smile trying to work it's way into his face, but the breathing monitor prevented it from being anything too drastic. His skin pinched and his pain increased. 'I'll play along for now.' "You must feel privileged." He said.
"We must make the most of what has been given." She nodded.
It hit him then just how old she was. "You're only seventeen?"
She looked at him in mild curiosity, and with a very sarcastic voice said. "Obviously,…" It seemed to immediately dawn on her that she was being rude, that she might have crossed the line, People near Vader had died for worse, and her dark eyes seemed to sparkle with the shocking knowledge that she might have just stepped on the thin ice that was sitting over the top of a dormant volcano. "… sir. I mean Lord… Darth Vader?" She shook her head, and gave a quick nod and smile. "Please forgive me for being rude just now."
He wished she hadn't said that. He did (sort of) remember what it was like to be young and impulsive, and knew all too well what that had done to him. But that wasn't what he had been focusing on in this conversation. She had stopped, and now the illusion was fading. The illusion that she had put on him, that she had been interested in what he had to say. He felt in need to check his real motives for listening, for staying, for simply enjoying her company. His master would not approve.
"I am not concerned with pathetic, half-hearted apologies Princess, but don't make it a habit mocking those who have more power over you. It will not lead to things going in your favour in the future."
She nervously touched her right elbow and pulled her arms into a fold as well. "Yes, I really need to work on that. I'm too sarcastic. Ryas Tibah didn't seem all that pleased when I compared his work on Kessel with well a track of …. Maybe I shouldn't repeat it."
Vader wished she had. He would never admit it, as it allowed for shame and embarrassment to the Emperor, but he had quite a few unusual opinions himself of the so called free or institutional workers on Kessel, but he was also of a mind that the insubordinate was to be punished, and if criminals were sentenced then they should be dead rather than sent off to a prison where they were forced into unpaid labour. He was finding this young Princess to be a lot less pathetic and helpless and more interesting than he had given her credit for. 'What would she have compared Tibah's work with indeed…'
She sighed and stepped back from the window. "Anyway, I think its time I took my leave." Nodded her head slightly and respectfully towards him. "Have a good night." One eyebrow was slightly higher than the other though, and Vader was not sure for a second whether she was aware of it, but no, of course she was. She was a politician and she knew all about how to appear to convey trust, hope, spontaneous creativity and compassion whenever she needed too, and this was just one of those moments. She had somehow known that this facial expression would put him off, and put at ease, unnerve him, and excite something…
And that was it. It dawned on him that she was trying to flirt with him. It wasn't obvious, but the simple banter they had been building up was a platform for further relations to grow from. She had put him at ease and insulted him while making him not care about whether or not she was doing it.
'She is good.'
But that was fine. Really all that politics was or will be, is a continual bloating up of circumstances and people flirting with someone and building upon their ideals. And here, was a young, beautiful woman flirting with a man of power because she just might get into trouble later for picking fights with the wrong people. Trying to build an understanding with a man she couldn't see, and didn't know. Trying to get a grasp on what he believed and what he stood for.
He had to give credit where it was due. She had a good strong backbone, and he was now positive that she could probably do more than just fill up her father's position as a simple senator. Not many women had spared even a thought to consider talking to Vader as a woman would to a man. Most feminine Senators looked upon him as a machine. A creation made by the Emperor to do his bidding, a slightly advanced Stormtrooper with magic powers they didn't understand. But this young lady was different. She understood the need for power, but also somehow knew what he missed most as the covered up Executioner.
Companionship.
The Force and the Emperor were his only equals. And he didn't make small talk. He was a man of action, of hard decisions, and quick thinking. He didn't flirt with imperial leaders.
All this took place in a matter of seconds in his mind, and then he answered. "Good night Princess." He too nodded his head slightly in her direction, bidding her a farewell. She turned around and walked away perfectly, her pale blue gown strikingly standing out from the dark red carpet. Although he knew she was playing this game, he couldn't feel mad at her for trying to use him. It was only human to get where you wanted to get by deceiving others, and she had done it so effortlessly. He almost felt honoured for having been singled out by her for her game.
He sighed, a sound that didn't come through his voice monitor very well, and turned back to the large window. This had been the problem last time, for that simple child with no life, and it was still the problem now. He has to stop latching onto fascinating people. He has to stop loving their thoughts and actions. He has to stop encouraging them to express their fears all the time.
Palpatine knew how to manage people how to get them to play on his terms, but whenever Vader tried. Well… it worked, but he seemed to be more suited as a sponge for everyone's fear, and hatred, even if he had done nothing to the men in question. He attracted their hatred, and if it had been festering inside them for a long time. No doubt, it would be released onto him; he had come to realize this truth. Words from his childish self from many years came back to him. " Fear attracts the fearful….." The memory glowed as the child Anakin, had explained this to a beautiful young girl of fourteen at the time, having just saved her companion from a street beating. 'That had been a different life time.'
'It's time to get back to the centre of it all.' Vader turned away from the window and walked back in the opposite direction than that of the Princess.
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A few days later Vader was back in the centre of Coruscant. He walked into his castle and immediately felt it's emptiness sooth his busy mind. He needed nothing. He lived for the increase of the Empire and the Emperor's plan.
Vader had just arrived in his meditation chamber when he felt his master reach out in the force to him. 'My Servant, contact me immediately.'
'I shall My Master.'
He had been looking forward to taking his mask off, but that could wait. He cleansed his mind of all thoughts and sadness, and regret, and all recent thoughts a certain young senator. He needed to feed on his power, on his purpose. He needed to become stronger.
He walked into the hologram simulator room. It was in the shape of an Octagon, and had high ceiling, and everywhere your eyes looked the walls were sharp and angled, black and deep in shadows. He had designed it especially for his discussions with his master, but if he needed to, it could be converted into a prison at a switch of a button, if anyone other than Vader tried to enter.
He knelt, and a light started glimmering before him. "Lord Vader."
"Yes, my master."
"I sense you are ill at ease."
"The senators that you brought to you are all corrupt and unworthy of the honours you've bestowed on them."
"Patience Lord Vader. I shall bring them low in good time, but that was not what I wished to speak of."
Vader was puzzled.
"You seemed confused Lord Vader."
"Yes Master."
"Your thoughts Vader, are my thoughts. I can see into your soul with ease, every desire, every moment."
Vader knew this wasn't entirely true, but that didn't stop him from feeling very awkward.
"I sense your mind was greatly distracted by a new senator."
Vader's shame grew more. 'How could it have been so obvious? He had been sure that he had masked his feelings. Then maybe… maybe the Emperor had had more spies on that ship than even he had been told about. His master had been spying on him.'
"She is a lot to look at isn't she, and such a commanding personality." The Emperor grinned maliciously and began his delighted cackle. "She reminds me of another certain foolish senator you used to know. What was her name again?..." He waited as if to indicate that Vader was to really answer him.
He was to obey his master's every wish. "Senator Amildala, My Master."
"Ahhhh yes the trouble maker and one of those small problems to the rise of my Empire." His lips looked painfully cracked even through the hologram. He had looked near death for almost two decades.
Just as he, Vader did…
"First I ordered the foolish Count Dooku to dispose of her and all his best assassins couldn't get to her, second, she distracted you from your true calling, third, she prevented so many of my plans from being completed efficiently …" he laughed again. "And then you do the honours for me, Lord Vader."
"Yes, Master." No matter how hard it was Vader kept kneeling.
"I wonder now if you don't count yourself grateful that you killed her when you did, she would have been revolted by who you are now, my friend. Not being a man at all, as you were then."
Vader's gut tightened in hate for his master. 'Stop… calm.'
The Emperor grinned. "Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha." His laugh was broken and strange, but Vader was used to it.
"Yes, Master." He bowed his head further.
The Emperor continued. "Have you used your bacta tank recently?"
"I was just about to Master."
"Have you made any improvements to your meagre Cyborg body? I can provide you with a good designer if you would like."
"I am content with this form and armour my master. The Force is a better weapon than anything else that could be attached to me. I feed off my pain and hatred for the one that put me in here, and through that I become stronger."
Now, both Vader and Sidious knew there was two people who had put him in there… and that was both Kenobi and his master… Sidious. Palpatine was well aware of this and seemed to revel in the knowledge.
"Good. Focus your hatred Lord Vader, and you will only get stronger."
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Hours later after he had come out of the bacta tank he had taken a cold shower, washing away the remains of the sickening smell of the healing bacta. 'At least I can still smell some things.'
The idea of eating something now really appealed to him. 'What do I want…?'
'I want…' He wasn't sure what to think of about his master's obvious hatred for Padme Amidala, or of the young Leia Organa. But it really had nothing to do with him anymore. He didn't need to explain feelings that were non-existent.
'I don't care for her.'
"I don't care for her any longer." He said looking into the mirror above the sink. He scowled at himself. "and you look awful. Stop looking so sad."
He left the refresher, and made his way to his living quarters. He felt confused again. And again like last time he hated this common weakness. 'I miss her… I still miss her.'
He got out a moving hologram of his dead wife, he wasn't suppose to have kept this, but there were a few things that she had sent him that he just could bring himself to destroy at the time, and he played it.
"I know you told me not to worry about it Anakin, but I wanted to tell you Happy Birthday…."
It carried on for a long time. She had sent this too him while he had been on Christophsis. It ended and he leaned back into his chair. Pain, nothing more.
"She betrayed me." Vader said meditating on those words, embracing the dark aches of pain curling out from his pierced legs. "She betrayed me. She was worthless. She was not worth saving. She was not worth giving up everything for."
'No! I don't believe it anymore. I can't.'
"She wasn't worth anything. She is dead to me. She is dead."
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Vader was alone in a pitch-dark room. He lay on the cold transparisteel floor; naked and relishing in the feeling of calm that would come over him whenever he was in lying like this. The freezing metal floor being one of his only sources of comfort, and that was just one example of what had been stolen from him. His attachment to his physical senses had been dulled ever since his failure on Mustafar. His skin had been burned away, or melted to the point where he hardly recognized himself. 'It was better this way. It was…'
He fell uneasily into a swirling dream…..
He was young again. He looked at his hands and rubbed them together. He looked up and saw a bright sun looking down on him. He winced a little, but his eyes weren't that damaged back then so after blinking just a few times he was fine. He looked around. "I'm on Naboo." He said to himself, instantly recognising the smell of flowers and the sounds of peace that he had always associated with his wife and other heavenly places.
He blinked and imagined his wife's parent's house. He was there, and so was she. Enchanted in the moment he gripped her delicate arm and pulled her into a much-needed embrace. She was so close, so real, and so beautiful.
"Anakin. What are you doing here?" She turned around and instead of looking at him; she walked through him, and ran towards the tall young man by the doorway. It was himself. 'Of course I have no place left in this memory. I'm not Anakin anymore.'
But that didn't stop him from taking a few steps forward after her. Anakin had his arms around and was holding her close, he was paying attention. Vader felt the danger just before it came.
"BOOM!" a huge explosion went off downstairs at the same time as a blaster bolt shot through the window towards the young senator. Vader deflected it, and reached out with the force towards the focused presence outside. He gripped and squeezed. He felt the life pass out of body and let it fall to the ground, uncaring as to who or what it was. He turned on Anakin Skywalker.
"You almost let her die!" Suddenly it seemed that both Anakin and Padme saw him for the first time, and they both drew back in fear and disgust.
Anakin pulled her tightly to him. "Who are you? And what are you doing in our house?"
Vader felt a deep rage build, he wasn't a different person… 'This woman is mine, not yours.'
He couldn't seem to speak again.
"Anakin let's go." Padme looked up with a worried expression on her face. "Jin? Jin! We're going out." She called, and out from under the table a young boy not much older than nine crawled out and took his mother's hand.
'My son… I … I would have had a son.' Vader felt his vision blur and his knees collapsed beneath him. 'and I named him after Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn.'
"Padme, Jin, both of you need to go outside. This man needs help. I'll stay with him." Anakin bent down in front of him. "Sir, what do you need what can I get you?"
Vader felt his hatred overflow then. 'How dare he order them! This is my family. They are mine.' He reached out with the force and crushed Anakin's heart, and he dropped to the floor.
"Father!" His son screamed and came running back into the room, 'He must have sensed his death in the force.' And then his angel came back as well.
"No!" She screamed and knelt down by her weeping son. She lifted the dead man's head and checked for signs of life. When she found none her gazed fixed onto him. "How dare you! How dare you!"
"You are both mine, and I've come to claim you. Follow me."
"I shall never follow you." Her brown eyes were burning in fury.
Vader looked down at the dead man and the boy who was crying over him. His young son... 'so Foolish.'
"Come with me." He grabbed his son Jin by the back of his clothes around his neck, and put him over his shoulder. Jin seemed to be in shock, and totally relaxed, as if he had been stunned.
"No!" His angel screamed and pulled on his shoulder. "Let him down let him go! You can't take him. Murderer!"
He was suddenly in front of his ship. It wasn't one that he had actually owned before, but it was a dream so that was fine. He could still feel his son breathing light and fast on his shoulder. He brought him into the ship and letting him down off his right shoulder, he strapped him into a seat. His wife came in.
"How can you!? You have destroyed everything! Everything that I've ever worked for and tried to build."
"I'm merely taking what belongs to me." He said. His eyes met his son's and for the first time in a long while he felt a deep sense of shame.
"Why are you doing this?" Jin said. "Why did you kill my father?"
"He was already dead, boy." Vader turned around and saw Padme collapsed by the doorway. "Padme, Padme wake up can you hear me?" He glanced up and it was then that he recognized the firery glow of the planet Mustafar the platform was melting away as he watched.
'I need to get out of here.' He pulled Padme up in his arms put her into the sleeping quarters and ran to the helm of the ship. He was now in Padme's own private ship, he recognized it. "I need to leave. We'll go somewhere no one can find us."
He flew up out of the horrid atmosphere and out into space. 'Finally. We can go home.'
He turned around, and a hooded figure was standing in the doorway. A Woman dressed all in white. "And you call yourselves human." She said. There was a deep veil of hatred hidden in her words. Her hands rested on her belt.
"Padme?" He stood and stared, but before he could defend himself she rushed forward, a familiar lightsaber in her hands. It had once been blue… but now it was red.
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Vader sat up quickly gasping for air and not getting enough of it. That had taken an unexpected turn.
'What did it all mean?' A new memory flashed across his thoughts. 'A young girl tilting her chin up in pride and young cheek. "I was born on Empire Day."'
'No, it was impossible….' Vader knew his breathing monitor had sped up, and his vision was going even more blurry.
"I have been chosen by my people to replace my father and represent Alderaan."'
'The girl was Leia… the woman in white was Leia. But why had she been on the ship? There would have been only his son, and his…'
'My wife.'
'She died then.'
'She died…' His train of thought cut off. 'What if … no that's impossible. NO!... what if she is an actual reincarnation?'
He had only heard of Jedi, Sith and other force-sensitives to have forced their souls into another's body. Of course there were always modern and local mythical tales of ghosts and the such effecting people, but that usually came down to only those who had a unique access to the force and could produce such results. Anything else and it was usually down to an unusual Alien, bacteria, or sickness/disease that could become a parasite inside another person. 'No, it is impossible, she hadn't been force-sensitive, so she couldn't have passed into...'
'What had Padme tended to speak to him about?' He racked his mind, but he could barely remember. 'That presence… It was like her though. The Princess is like her. I know it. I felt a connection. I felt it.'
Vader's heart rate was thudding out of control and he decided to do an unusual Jedi-like exercise and sat back down onto the cold hard floor and cleared his mind. 'I don't want to focus on this right now, empty my mind. Let the force flow through you…. You need to go and wash your face. Wash your face.'
He made his way back into the refresher again and looked at his face in the mirror again. For the briefest of moments he thought he saw Obi-Wan looking back at him, but he blinked, and his master's eyes disappeared and where replaced with his own.
He looked… grey and old, much older than his forty… no forty-one years of age. His eyes were yellow, he was barely human. He felt shame again, and then washed it over with anger.
'She looked so much like her and yet so different, so Beautiful and young and …
No. It could never happen. I'm not human anymore. I can't fall for the desires of the flesh.' It wasn't an option; any sort of sexual activities that he used to enjoy with his wife now were no longer available to him. His body was ruined beyond repair and to tempt his own imagination with the thought that he could heal it, to the point where physical interaction was possible, was stupidity. He had too let this go. His metallic right hand came up to his face and he spread out all the cold durasteel fingertips and massaged his tight, sore skin.
Words broke back through his mental barriers from long ago.
.
'"What's that got to do with anything?" Eyes were looking at from all around. "EVERYTHING! Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, Anger leads to hate, and Hate leads to suffering." His back was itching; eyes from all around the room burning into him from behind. "I sense much fear in you."'
.
'Hate leads to suffering right?' He rubbed the top of his left shoulder. It felt severely sore, but that wasn't a new thing. He always felt pain that was just a part of his existence now. But he hadn't thought that an alternate form of suffering would come to him this late in life. His memories were crashing back against his mental block, fighting to be remembered.
He held them back, but that deep ache, that deep pain, that suffering that he had left buried for so long kept growing. He let out a sigh. 'Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just think about it for a little while. It's not like my master has ever forbidden me from doing so.'
He lay back onto the floor. 'There wouldn't be any harm in dreaming. Anything but the past.'
'If I could have her, how would she respond? What would she do or say? Where would I take her? Should I be disguised or would I take her as myself?' It was interesting food for thought and he spent hours feeding off his emotions, his ideas, his desires and fantasies. It was satisfying, thrilling it had been a long time since he had allowed his mind to become engrossed with anyone for anything other than the desire for their death. This was intoxicating. It was intimate. It was painful.
He loved her and she hated him. Perfect.
.
.
End of Chapter 2.
