Disclaimer: If I owned them, there would be a black Camaro with gold race stripes in my front yard. There isn't. 8( How can I go on? Ooh, chocolate!
Mondays were evil days. Everything terrible started with Monday. There was no doubt that Marcus Taylor, Miss Tripp, and Barney were born on Mondays. At least, this was ten-year old Anna Howlett's opinion as she sat in the principal's office.
She adjusted the ice pack on her hand and blew a strand of curly auburn hair out of her face, looking decidedly bored. It wasn't her fault. She told that Marcus boy to leave her alone, gave him fair warning. He had ignored her threats and the fact that she was already well-known for losing her temper. Of course, she'd never hit anyone before…that they could prove.
The door leading into the room opened, and Miss Tripp, the principal, walked in closing the door behind her. Miss Tripp was, in Anna's opinion, a prettyish woman with dark hair who would possibly be very nice if she got a boyfriend or hobby other than getting on her case about previous incidents that no one could prove she actually had anything to do with. She looked at Anna, sighed, and took her seat in her own chair.
"Anna."
"Ma'am?" Anna drawled, making it a two syllable word.
"Would you like to explain to me why you knocked Marcus Taylor's tooth out?"
She couldn't help it. Anna snickered.
"Anna," Miss Tripp's voice scolded mildly and Anna schooled her features into a mix of innocence and amusement.
"I didn't mean to, honest," and actually sounded sorry, too, "But that boy had it comin' and the tooth was already loose anyway."
"That is not the point. You are not supposed to attack your fellow classmates."
"He started it," she defended as if that should pardon her from any punishment. In her mind, it should.
"He hit you first?"
"No, but – "
At just that moment, the door burst open and a brown haired man rushed in and knelt at Anna's side.
"Sunshine, are you all right? I was watching Golden Girls and there was a message on the phone that said you'd been in a fight! I came over as soon as the show went off. What happened? Are you hurt? Do I need to kill someone?"
"Just busted my hand a little. I'm fine," she rolled her grey eyes.
"That's what you said before but you so were not fine!" he exclaimed, exasperated.
"Excuse me," Miss Tripp felt the need to interrupt," Who are you?"
"Wade Wilson, a.k.a Deadpool, a.k.a the Merph mimf a moumph," he turned to Anna who had a hand firmly over his mouth. "Vrut er yur doing?"
She gave him a pointed look.
"Mooh yah. My badf."
She removed her hand and addressed the principal.
"This is my uncle, Wade. Did you call Logan's job, too?"
Miss Tripp raised a brow at her use of her father's first name.
"Yes, I did call your father after I called your house first. He's on his way now."
"Jimmy's not going to appreciate that at all," Wade told her from his crouched position.
"I thought Mr. Howlett's name was Logan."
"Duh, lady. Ever heard of a middle name?" Wade rolled his eyes. "I swear, some people…"
"Mr. Wilson, since you are not Anna's primary guardian, your presence here is not necessary."
"Oh, what? Since I didn't do her mom like Jimmy, and Vicky, and –"
"Wade! I do not want to hear this."
"But she's trying to get rid of me! I don't want to go and you," he stood up and jabbed a finger in Miss Tripp's face," can't make me! So ha!"
"Mr. Wilson, I –"
"Stop calling me that. It's so creepy," he proved his point by shuddering.
Anna noticed Miss Tripp was silent a moment and deduced that she was just now starting to really question Uncle Wade's mental state. Apparently, she was a little slow.
"All right then, Wade, I –"
"Did I give you permission to call me Wade? I don't remember telling you that," he turned to Anna. "Did I?"
"Nope."
He turned back around.
"Didn't think so."
Miss Tripp tried again.
"Sir?"
"Call me Jack."
"Jack."
"Ma'am?" he drawled it out, making it two syllables.
"Would you mind waiting in the anteroom please?"
"Yes, I would actually. Unless you have chimichangas. Then we can talk. But we've already been doing that haven't we? I mean –"
"That is it! Enough with your shenanigans."
"Shenanigans? Did you just cuss me out in Irish?"
Miss Tripp slapped her hands over face and just sat there. Wade looked at her curiously with his head tilted to the side.
"Is she trying to suffocate herself?" he asked Anna who just shrugged.
"What are you doin' here?" a gruff voice demanded from the door, causing Anna to jump and a knot of dread to form in her stomach.
"Jimmy! Well, I was at home watching Golden Girls but then – "
"Don't care. Go wait out there," he pointed to the waiting room.
"But I – "
"I said 'go'," he growled out.
Wade sighed, hung his head, and stepped towards the door. And stepped. And stepped one. Foot. At. A time.
"Damn it, Wade," Logan reached out to grab him, but he dodged and ran out the room, slamming the door behind him. Logan grunted, glanced at Anna who was looking the other way, and addressed the principal.
"What's all this about?"
Miss Tripp studied him a moment, as if she could tell by staring if he was saner than the other. He looked normal enough as he leaned against the wall next to his daughter, if a little…rough. He was acting calmer than the other man, at least.
"Mr. Howlett," she paused to see if he would object to using his last name. He merely raised a bushy brow so she continued. "Your daughter got into an unnecessary fight with one of the students here."
"Blasphemy! All fights are necessary!" Wade called from the other side of the door.
"A fight?" he ignored Wade's outburst. He looked Anna over, pausing at the ice pack on her hand, and sniffed.
"She looks fine, and she's not bleeding. What's the problem?"
"The problem is that she knocked the other student's tooth out."
"Oh, yeah! We're taking body parts now!" Wade crowed again and was studiously ignored.
"That true?"
She nodded, still not looking at him and pulling her hair.
"I can't hear you."
"Yes, sir."
"The boy was sent home, and his parents were alerted as well. Anna will be suspended for a week. This is not the first time she hasn't gotten along with other children, but it is the first time she has struck one of them."
"Is that all?"
"Well, yes, but –"
"Then we're leavin'. Let's go, kid," he pushed himself off the wall and went to the door.
"But Mr. Howlett, I suggest your daughter speak with the school counselor. Her behavior needs to be dealt with and - "
"I'll deal with her behavior when I get home. I don't need you or anyone else tellin' me how to raise my kid. Got it?"
The discussion was over as far as he was concerned, and he turned his back on the woman. Logan opened the door, and Wade fell over from his position leaning on the door.
"Owie."
Logan stepped over him as did Anna, and they both exited the office. Wade picked himself up, and dusted himself off before looking at Miss Tripp.
He winked at her.
"Call me," then walked out, leaving her there gaping after him for several minutes.
Anna sat quietly in the passenger seat of her father's truck. Wade had driven his motorbike and went off to who knows where, so they rode in silence. A very uncomfortable, gut wrenching silence for Anna. She just knew she was in trouble. Just because they taught her a how to fight didn't mean she was supposed to go around knocking boys' teeth in. No matter how much they deserved it.
"Tell me what happened."
She glanced at him but he still had his eyes on the road.
"Um, I…it…"
"Just start at the beginnin', darlin'. When you get to the end, stop."
She felt the dread ease a bit. She couldn't be in too much trouble if he was calling her 'darlin''. Right?
"I told you 'bout Marcus Taylor before."
"Annoyin', little barfface toad, Marcus Taylor?"
"Yeah. Well, I wanted to play kickball with him and the other boys at recess, but they wouldn't let me 'cuz I'm a girl, and I told them they were stupid, and Marcus Taylor said that I should do what girls do and started makin' kissy faces at me so I punched him in the face like how you taught me, and I hurt my hand but not real bad and knocked his tooth out," she stopped to take a breath. "But it was already loose."
Logan was quiet for a while as he went over everything she had told him in his mind on slow-mo.
"The right hook?" he asked sounding impressed.
"Yeah. He started cryin' like a baby," Anna told him proudly.
"That's my girl."
Anna broke into a broad grin.
"Can your girl have ice cream?"
He gave her a look.
She gave him a pout.
"Please, Daddy."
He sighed.
"Whatever you want, darlin'."
She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
"I love you."
"You, too, kid."
But Mondays were still of the devil.
A/N:I love nonsense. There are a couple of quotes in here. I wonder if anyone will spot them.
I was gonna throw the kid and his father in their and there would be that whole 'I bet my dad could beat up your dad' conversation. But decided not to. Idk y.
Ok, I really can't resist throwin' Wade around. You can do anything with him and you don't even have to explain it. Y'all should try it. Review this for me. Like it, yes? Like it, no?
And yeah, I know 'prettyish' is not a word.
For the bedtime story fic, what should Logan read to her? Y'all should know by now, I ain't gonna do it normal.
