Chapter 2
Even after being passed out for so long, I was able to get out of the school before they locked it up. Good thing too; I didn't feel like explaining the situation to an irate or nosy janitor, and it wasn't like I could make heads or tails of what had just happened anyway. Haruhi was in love with me; but she was in love with John Smith—who is me—more. Of course she didn't know it was me, so being with me must have reminded her of what John Smith was like …
Needless to say, I never wanted to time travel ever again.
As I walked down the hill though, I had to wonder about the heartache that Haruhi would have to endure. I mean, sure, I was alone now, being officially dumped, but she was chasing after someone who didn't even really exist in the strictest sense of the term. Worse yet, there was absolutely nothing I can do about it without risking the universe itself.
Nothing is ever simple with you, is it, Haruhi?
It was when I got to my bike that I actually had enough presence of mind to see if anyone had tried calling me. There were three calls from my parents, one call from Koizumi, and one call from Asahina-san. When I phoned back my parents, my mom was both relieved and furious that I would go so long without calling. I couldn't really explain to her that I had been struck dumb from heartbreak, so I just made up an excuse about being too busy and told her that I'd be home soon. I then contemplated contacting the other three brigade members, but knowing what the conversations would be like made me hesitate.
Would Koizumi be asking me to run damage control yet again, or would he be complaining about the no doubt limitless amount of closed space that just popped up?
Would Asahina-san tell me that another trip into the past was needed to fix something, or that the future was now going haywire?
Would Nagato … actually, Nagato probably wouldn't do anything. She hadn't even tried to contact me, which wasn't surprising. Her boss has her strictly on a "non-interference" directive, so she can't really do anything. Despite that, though, she'll want to talk to me. I just didn't have any idea of what she might say, or if I'd even understand half of it.
At this point it really didn't matter. Haruhi could throw the file called "The world" into the Recycle Bin and start from scratch, and I don't know if I'd care. Reality can warp until it snaps, but right now I needed some time alone, my position as oddity errand boy be damned.
When I got home my parents were waiting for me in the living room. Before my father could start in on one of those "responsibility" speeches that I was often on the receiving end of though, my mother actually cut him off. Even though I was trying to be neutral, I think that she knew that something had happened, I guess I owe my own insightful nature to her. Did that mean that I got my love of the supernatural from my dad? I guess he was the first person to give me a book on UFOs. Anyways, they had left my portion of the dinner for me to warm up, but I didn't really feel like eating anything anytime soon.
I went up to my room and found my sister playing on the bed with Shamisen. I fully expected her to beg me to play with her a little before she went to bed, but when she looked at me she simply silently grabbed the calico and left the room. Maybe it wasn't just insightfulness; was my sorry state really that obviously written onto my face?
Well, whatever, I couldn't care less about how I must have looked at this though it still early in the evening, I decided to turn in for the night. I didn't know if I wanted to have a repeat of waking up in the grayscale world of a "Closed Space" with Haruhi beside me though. If that actually happened now, I don't even know what I would do or say, to be honest, and that's what scared me a little. We all know that what Haruhi wants, Haruhi gets, but if she asks for John Smith and instead gets me, then it's going to take a lot more than a simple kiss to rectify the situation this time around.
Everyone has always considered me as some anchor, some rock, some person to turn to in the time of crisis. But I'm not the Rock of Gibraltar. I can't hold off every enemy, I can't succeed in every situation. I couldn't do anything but watch in horror as Asahina-san was kidnapped, and I was powerless when Nagato fell ill not once, but twice (well, okay, the second time I made a difference, but only in the nick of time). I'm not cut out to be a leader, especially not of a merry band like this! Even Robin Hood would have flipped his cap if he had to deal with an alien, a time traveler, an esper, and on top of that, a girl who could alter reality on a whim but didn't know it.
As I let my mind wander in an attempt to not think about the events of that afternoon, my cell phone went off. I guess I hadn't remembered to turn off the ringer. I looked at the call display: Koizumi Itsuki. Perfect, just perfect.
Against my better judgment, I flipped the phone open.
"Good evening. I realize that this is probably a bad time for you, but we need to have a talk."
Who is this "we" Koizumi? Is this going to be one of those weirdness PTAs where everyone shows up to air their grievances?
"No, it will be a meeting between you and myself. The other groups do not have any involvement in this, although I am sure that they also want to talk to you for their own personal reasons."
I didn't really have any doubts of that.
"So let me guess, this is about Closed Space or more of those giants rampaging about wrecking everything?"
"No, it is not that. Although there has been quite a few occurrences of Closed Space since Suzumiya-san had that discussion with you, it is nothing that we cannot handle."
Then why are you bothering me right now?
"I simply wish to talk about the current state of things with you. Surely you can understand the need to stay on top of this?"
And surely you can understand that right now I don't need this. If the world can survive through the night, then you can live without answers until tomorrow, Koizumi.
I flipped the phone shut before I could hear any witty rebuttal he might have made, and this time I made sure to turn the ringer off.
I don't really know how much time I spent sleeping versus staring at the ceiling, because last night they both felt like the same thing. I don't know whether I was relieved, surprised, or disappointed when the sun rose in the morning, indicating that the world was indeed going to move on. How does one go back to normal life (even the kind of normal I was used too) after being the significant other of a person that some have even called God? I guess that I'd have to find that out sooner or later, and the answer wasn't in my bed.
When I trudged up the hill in the morning, it seemed twice as long and twice as steep. It was obvious why—this was the first time that Haruhi and I would see each other since what happened yesterday. She had tried to be strong, but I knew she was more broken up about it than she let on, and Koizumi had mentioned Closed Space, though he has also said it was manageable.
That reminds me, he'll probably track me down today. Talking to him was unavoidable now, but I really didn't want to. I still hadn't even made a decision about whether I was still going to stay in the Brigade or not. I wanted to keep seeing my friends, but at the same time how would Haruhi and I interact? Was this how parents felt around their kids when they filed for divorce? No, that was probably an over exaggeration. After all, we're all the same age: Nagato and perhaps Asahina-san notwithstanding.
"Hey Kyon, how's it going!"
An abrupt slap on my back and that familiar voice indicated that Taniguchi was running about as late as I was. Unlike me, I doubt he had an excuse for wanting to keep out of the classroom, aside from simply not wanting to go to school.
"You and Suzumiya had some alone time yesterday, it seems," he said, wearing that stupid smirk that he thinks the ladies love. "I saw the other three members of her loony bin on their way home without you two. So, I want details!"
Rest assured, Taniguchi, you really didn't. The encounter didn't go at all like you imagined when you picked up that translation of 'Letters to Penthouse'.
"Oh, come on, Kyon! It'll be just between us guys! I promise not to tell anyone else, really! Besides, out of all the guys I've seen with Suzumiya, you're by far the one that's lasted the longest. She must like you a lot, although I will admit I don't know what she sees in you. But you two must have done some juicy stuff by now, so spill it!"
I stopped dead in my tracks. I probably didn't realize it, but I must have been shooting a death glare at the would-be playboy because he actually took a few steps back when he glanced at my face.
"Woah, buddy, don't take it the wrong way… I was just curious."
At that moment, a number of things went through my mind, like how badly I wanted to tell my "buddy" off at the moment, to chew him out for thinking that a woman is nothing but a piece of meat to be used for pleasure. All I managed though, was an exasperated sigh and the pathetic plea of "Just leave me alone, yesterday was not a good day, and I doubt today will be either."
Despite how feeble I thought the request was, it did indeed cause him to pause in place, looking thoughtful. Despite his attitude, I think that even Taniguchi could put two and two together, but frankly I didn't care. I left him there and continued my Sisyphean climb; if he was late, it would be his own fault.
This would probably be the part where a person would expect me to say something like "I'd give you the details of how the first meeting between us as a broken-up couple went, but it's far too painful to relate." Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but I couldn't really say that at all. When I got to homeroom, Haruhi wasn't in her seat, and it was only after I'd gotten settled in that she came into the classroom. I contemplated turning around to talk to her, but really, it was far too soon.
Throughout the small breaks in between lectures, I started hearing more and more murmurs throughout the classroom, no doubt originating from Tanguchi's seat, about how I was Haruhi's "latest victim". I didn't want sympathy though. What I did want was for people to butt out, but I guess when you're in high school the gossip is all that keeps you going sometimes. I wouldn't really know. I've never been that interested in it, and I've had more than enough to keep me otherwise busy. I couldn't gauge Haruhi's reaction, as she never even attempted to talk to me. This was a detail that no one else might have noticed, but I think that Haruhi left the classroom even quicker than usual, if that's even possible. Maybe she just wants to get away from me, but to everyone else she's the exact same eccentric girl she was yesterday and everyday before that.
It was only about 10 minutes into lunch when I noticed one of the girls talking to someone outside the door and nodding her head. When Koizumi's ever smiling countenance peered in from the hallway, I was actually shocked that it had taken him so long to arrive: I knew that he still wanted to talk to me, and probably give me a snide little lecture about how rude it is to hang up on people in the middle of the night as well. Seeing as how we were actually both face to face now, I guess this was unavoidable, so with a grimace I made my way over to him after he gestured for my presence.
"If you want to talk to me, then the least you can do is buy me a drink, Koizumi."
"If that will make you more amenable to the conversation, then I have no issues with doing so. You should know that it was quite… inconvenient of you to hang up last night, especially when for all any of us knew the world might have come to a near end once more."
Trust me, Koizumi, if that would have happened then you might not want to know what I might have done, because I barely know the answer to that myself.
"Is that so?" the esper feigned curiosity towards my noncommittal statement. "Well then I would like to believe that it was very lucky that a situation like that did not occur. Nonetheless, there is still much to discuss, so please have a seat."
As I sat, perhaps at the same table where we had our first conversation, and mulled over the juice (too hot out for coffee) the vice-brigade chief began his spiel.
"Although it surely is not a surprise to you, there have been numerous occurrences of Closed Space within the last 24 hours or so, although as I mentioned last night, nothing that cannot be managed."
Okay, then let me repeat what I said last night: "Why should I care then?"
"You should care because it is not simply a matter of Closed Space in this case. You and Suzumiya-san shared a connection that grew and matured over time into the relationship that the both of you shared until this point."
The last part of the sentence made me cringe despite myself.
"So we at The Organization want to take steps to ensure that the both of you are alright from this."
That sounds all well and good, Koizumi, but why don't you just call it like it is: you have us both on a suicide watch, is that it?
"You both are being monitored, but I assure you it is for nothing so morose. I personally know you both to be mature enough to handle this. What I come to ask you about is some personal reassurance."
I really don't like where you're going with this, but I owe you for everything you've done, so I'll hear you out.
"That is all I ask. I realize that you must be aware of Haruhi's intentions."
How could I forget? "To find John Smith."
"Indeed, and you know just as surely that this can never happen, at least not with your involvement. The results could be utterly disastrous if she learned the truth."
Great, so what you're telling me is to stand by while the woman I love searches fruitlessly for a man that despite being essentially me, she'll never find, and so she'll spend the rest of her life heartbroken and always wondering about him. That's really a great favour to ask.
"I understand that it will be difficult, but perhaps Suzumiya-san will eventually learn to live with the fact that she will never find John Smith. She may even want to rekindle her relationship with you and—"
"Okay, Koizumi, you just ran out of leeway."
It's one thing to ask me not to interfere, but to lie to her, not about her powers, but about a person she loves? I will not do that, Koizumi.
"You and I both know that Haruhi isn't the type of person to give up, and even if she wants to get back with me, what would I be but a painful reminder of what she can't find."
That and I'm not going to live with the guilt of withholding the information from her. That would drive me over the brink. So you can just file that idea back from wherever you pulled it out of.
At that point I stood up and had started to walk away when his voice stopped me. It was the tone that did it; I'd never heard Koizumi talk like that before this point, and if I never do again it will be far too soon for my tastes, but in a totally deadpan manner he simply stated: "You know that I cannot guarantee the safety of either of you, then."
I turned back to face him, in disbelief of what I had heard. The look on his face was dead serious, the plastered smile scrubbed off as if it were a special occasion. He had meant every word, and that's what pissed me off the most.
"I cannot assume responsibility if you would endanger Suzumiya-san or reveal the truth to her, I thought that you of all people would understand that. If you refuse to renew the relationship should the opportunity arise, then are you not just as much at fault as I would be?"
Before either of us really knew what was going on, I had him by the collar and we were face to face. Any other day, I might have mused about how this time I was the one violating his personal space, but this time I was as dead serious as he was. It was a good thing that the courtyard was almost conspicuously empty.
I know that smile is plastered on for the sake of your mission, Koizumi, so I never thought of you as really being two-faced. Don't give me a reason to start doing so. You once told me, in a situation nearly as bad as this, that if the chips were down you were with the SOS Brigade. Or was that just a convenient lie? No, I don't think it was, even despite everything I can still read you a little better than that.
So, why change your mind? Are you too afraid all of a sudden of what might happen to your rank? Of what might happen to you?
"You seem to be forgetting that in this case you're not asking me to choose between The Organization and the SOS Brigade. You're asking me to choose between Suzumiya-san and you."
That comment gave me slight pause. As miserable as it made me, he was correct. Would the brigade be able to survive through this? It was something I hadn't given much thought to. But there was one think I knew for certain.
"I'll give you your answer, Koizumi. You choose her. I'll walk down whatever path to Underworld I need to, but one thing I won't do is lie to her, not about this. But let me make one thing clear. Let nothing happen to her, nothing. Because if something does happen to her, I will tear Tartarus down brick by brick, walk through Hades, beat Charon out of his own boat and return to Earth to set things right."
"If that is how you honestly feel, Kyon, then I will try my best. I cannot do anything more than that."
You do that, because if I find out, Koizumi, that something has happened and that you have done anything besides trying to protect Haruhi with every ounce of your being, then you don't even want to know what I will do to you.
As I let go of his collar we kept staring each other down, but I noticed that for once, his body had slipped just a little, as a scant few beads of sweat rolled down his face. As I turned around this time, it was my turn for a parting remark.
Just remember Koizumi, I'm "100% normal"; it's not your job to look after me. You make sure that you look after her though, for everyone's sake.
I walked out of the courtyard, feeling much more vindicated than I had in quite some time, but I couldn't help but notice that the day was only half over, and things had already gone to Hell.
But it couldn't get any worse, right?
Authors Notes: The second part appears at last. I'm sorry for the large delay, but this is all fairly new to me. Hopefully the wait will have been worth it to anyone who reads this. Once again I must thank Arty Esbee d'Arc for her continued betaing, without which the story would be nowhere near as coherent or good. Once again, all reviews, positive or negative, are encouraged and greatly appreciated. Hopefully the next chapter can come a little faster, but I'll always favour quality over speed, so I hope that doesn't turn anyone off.
Oh, and since I forgot to do this the first chapter: I, of course, do not own any of the characters of the Haruhi universe, please don't sue me (strangely flattering as it would be).
