Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and will never make any money out of this WHATSOEVER!
A/N: So this is the Sequel to Losing the Fight... if you have not read that I would suggest you read it first as you probably won't understand some references in this one otherwise! :) Rated M for content that if you keep reading you will find out, Slash so if you don't like, don't read! Contains references to Self-Harm and Eating Disorders *could be triggering*. Please keep yourself safe while reading- if you have any questions, don't hesitate to put them in a review or a PM! This Chapter could be triggering (I know it was to write) so please be careful whilst reading!

This Chapter is in Draco's POV.


'Don't do it. I said, don't you dare put that foul muck in your mouth… Do you not remember what I told you, you big worthless lump? Have you any idea how many calories that plate of pasta has in it? THOUSANDS! That one plate is going to make you FAT! And how many plates have you been stuffing your face with, you disgusting pig? Should I be saying oink, oink, oink? By the looks of you that's all you'll be able to understand, fatty! Are you really that fat? Oh yeah – you are! Why the hell are you letting all these people make you get fat? You know you have the control to go against this! You know they're only trying to sabotage you and make you huge! You had been working so well! You were so close to perfection, you were so very near to your final goal… and now you've gone and ruined it all! Pudge, pudge, pudge, pudge, pudgy! You big fat worthless piece of crap! You have no idea what you've done, you should be working to get rid of all this fat that you've allowed them to layer on you! How fucking obese are you? Could you get any bigger? The only living thing that I've seen that's bigger than you is the fucking blue whale, you huge tub of lard! I can't believe you've let yourself get this fat! I've never seen the level of fat you've allowed yourself to get! I can't believe you actually think Harry would ever love you…? If you think that then you must be even dimmer than you look! As if he'd ever want to be with a freak like you! If you actually want him to like you then you've got a hell of a lot of work to do! But first you have to let me in…

Draco – you crave perfection, if you want to be perfect then you have to let me in…

Draco – if you want to be thin then you need to let me in…

Draco – if you want Harry to love you then you have to let me in…'

Over and over and over it repeated inside my head; over and over the voice spoke to me until it was almost engrained inside my brain. Those three phrases: "If you want to be perfect; if you want to be thin; if you want Harry to love you – then you need to let me in…" I knew, well the sensible part of my brain knew that this voice was the eating disorder talking to me, and trying to take me back to the way it wanted me to be, manipulate me to go back and be its friend…

For the past couple of days, however, I had been furiously trying to block out this voice; trying to filter it out from inside my head. I felt like I was putting all my effort into mentally sticking my fingers in my ears and shouting 'lalalala' to drown it out. I was trying my absolute best not to listen to what it was trying to tell me. But it was beginning to wear me down…

Food seemed like even more of a challenge than when I had first started eating again; and now that Healer Kiely had told me that I was going to be made an outpatient the voice had come back stronger and louder than ever before.

So I was pacing around my bed (this was one major advantage to having been eating, I could stand up for longer than I could before without fainting) that night – grinning to myself that I would soon be moving in with Harry… but then the voice found itself again.

'You know what that means, don't you Draco? He's going to find out who you are – what you are… he's going to find out all about you. He's not going to like you when he finds out about you, about all of you, is he? He'll make you go back to the Manor and then you'll be all on your own again.'

'NO! No, he wouldn't do that! Harry actually likes me, he wouldn't send me away to be all on my own.' I argued back, but now I seemed to be trying to convince myself more than the little voice in my head.

'Oh are you sure about that? Are you absolutely positive about that? How do you know that when he finds out what you're really like that he won't just drop you completely and leave you on your own? You don't know that do you? But I can make sure that you aren't left on your own… you know that Draco, don't you? You know that I wouldn't let you down; I wouldn't leave you on your own. I'm your only real friend Draco; you should know that by now! All you have to do is let me in… if you let me in then I'll make sure you're never alone.'

'Let you in? All I have to do is let you in and I'll never be alone?' It sounded good, for the last thing I wanted was to end up alone with absolutely no one.

'Yes Draco. I can make sure that you never are alone – I can make sure you can reach your goal of perfection can become reality. When you let me in, I will make that happen.'

'You will? How? How can you do that?' Now I was ready to listen.

'Don't worry Draco… I have a plan.'


A/N: Please tell me what you thought of that chapter? :) I want to know whether you liked the little internal monologue from Draco's inner voice and whether I should put more in! :) I'm begging you, please review! The more people who review the quicker the next chapter goes up :D
And I believe it's virtual cookies this time if you review! :D