Leave the poor, broke college student alone. He does not own Naruto or Ranma, and he certainly won't be able to pay you.
Flames will be used to heat my bedroom, as it is frickin' cold down here!
After breakfast, Nabiki and Akane left the dining room to look for Ranma. They found him outside, working on a Mutsabetsu Kakutou Ryuu kata . . . or at least, that's what it should have been. While the moves had all of Ranma's typical grace and power in them, it didn't really look like his normal fighting style . . .
After a while, the kata ended, and Ranma looked up to find two wide eyed girls staring at him. He blinked. "Is there a reason why y'all are staring at me, or is it just for the hell of it?"
At his question, the two girls jumped, and looked at each other. Looking back, Nabiki asked, "So, Ranma-kun, what's with the new style?"
The martial artist in question shrugged. "I've been meaning to develop my own style for a while now, and it helps that Pop has barely taught me anything recently."
Akane turned her head in confusion. "What? I thought your father taught you martial arts since you were four?"
Ranma snorted. "When he first started, he showed me how to kick and punch. Then we started sparring. Three years later, he tried to teach me the Neko-ken. Most of what I learned came from putting together techniques and styles that I picked up from different dojos. The problem is that most of it was based off of mimicking my old man when we sparred." He then shrugged. "What you just saw was a fighting style without any of my father's style as a basis."
Nabiki looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said, "So all this time that your father spent training you, and instead, you just spent most of your time creating your own style?"
"Yep!"
"So what does this mean for the Saotome-Tendo engagement?"
Akane froze, cold fingers gripping at her heart, but Ranma just smirked. "Well for one, it takes the ability to choose from our idiot fathers."
The two girls looked at him, and he couldn't help but smirk. "We're both kids still and not even eighteen yet! I have I life to live, Akane has a life to live, and the moment we get married, our fathers are going to see to it that every moment of what lives we have left is spent keeping a roof over their heads and sake in their cups. If we are comfortable enough with each other later on, we can get married. Until then, we have no pressure."
Akane blinked at this statement, and was surprised to find part of her thinking 'Was that a yes, or a no?' She wasn't sure whether to feel depressed or overjoyed!
Nabiki, on the other hand, was more pragmatic. "And the other fiancés?"
The aqua-transsexual's smirk grew even wider. "Well, most of those agreements asked specifically for the son of Saotome Genma. If something were to happen, like my mother divorcing the bastard and going back to her clan, or me gaining the support of another clan and leaving the name Saotome behind, then I'd only have two legible claims to deal with, rather than fifty-nine of them."
A beat of stunned silence followed that statement, and then Akane couldn't help but ask, "F-fifty-nine? I thought there were only . . . "
Nabiki interrupted. "At my last count, Genma had set up thirty-three legitimate engagements. How'd you come up with nearly sixty of them?"
Ranma looked away. "Eleven or twelve of them belong to parties with girls who are ten years old and younger. They don't matter much now, but they can still come up in six or seven years and bite me in the ass . . . "
"And the remaining fourteen or so?"
The apparent boy shuddered. "They're male."
Akane winced at this, while Nabiki couldn't help but snicker. "So instead of selling off his son, he sold off his daughter, and now you qualify as both!"
Ranma scowled, and looked away petulantly. "Yeah yeah, very funny." He then turned his sight to Akane. "Go use the furo and get cleaned up." His smirk then reappeared. "As soon as I get rid of Shampoo, and you start looking like your old self, we can get started . . . student!"
Both girls blinked again. "But Shampoo isn't . . . " From inside, a crashing sound was heard, as well as a loud, soprano voice calling out "Nihao!"
Nabiki winced. "She's so going to pay for that."
The boy nodded. "Go clean up, and I'll deal with her. With any luck, she'll have her Airen fix and be running back home by the time you're done." He then narrowed her eyes at Akane, who had frozen up at the sound of her main tormentor.
She jumped as he touched her shoulder. "Go clean up, and I'll get rid of her. Give me a few weeks, and then you can return the favor." She nodded unsteadily, and then together, they walked into the house.
As they went in, Ranma immediately found a tall, purple haired girl around himself. The scowl on his face was evident to the two girls that were with him, but the Chinese Amazon missed it. Akane, before her old temper could rise, immediately ran to the furo, taking comfort in the fact that Ranma had said some rather (unusually) sweet words to her earlier.
"Airen! Shampoo so glad you home! You want to go on date now, yes?"
Out of the corner of his eye, Ranma could see Kasumi frowning at the girl. Whatever Shampoo did, it obviously wasn't good.
Time to put Operation: Get rid of the Amazons into action!
"Shampoo, I don't have time to date you right now, but could you send a message to Cologne please, I have something that she might be interested in."
"What do you have?" Shampoo asked.
"That . . . is a secret!"
Both Shampoo and Nabiki (who was listening in) slammed into the floor. Kasumi, on the other hand, couldn't help but laugh at the two.
"Airen no do that again!" Shampoo demanded. Then, her cheery smile returned to her face. "Shampoo go take message to Great-Grandmother now, then you take Shampoo out on date, yes?"
"We'll take things as they come." Ranma said mysteriously.
"OK then, Shampoo see Airen and Mercenary Girl later then. Bai bai!"
As Shampoo rushed out of the house through the hole she originally came in through, Nabiki couldn't help but give Ranma a questioning glance. "So what, exactly, do you need to see Cologne for?"
Ranma grinned. "My travelling companion for the last month was a history nut, and knew a lot of stuff about different cultures and facts. One of these facts was that the Kiss of Marriage has an out."
Nabiki gasped. "Wait a second . . . I've been through that rulebook of theirs over and over again, and it states . . . "
"It's more of precedence than a rule, so you ain't gonna find it in any book."
The mercenary blinked. "What do you mean 'precedence'?"
The boy smirked. "A couple of centuries ago, a Chinese warrior mage accidentally defeated an Amazon and got kissed. When he spoke to an Elder later, he told her that he was on an important mission of some kind. As the kiss of marriage is a means of strengthening the tribe, he sought to create a different solution, as this was a mage only quest. In return for releasing him of the kiss, he offered to show them how to create a pill that would allow the user to become immune to heat."
"The Phoenix Pill!"
"Correct! In other words, in order to get rid of Shampoo, I have to offer something up that can strengthen the tribe as a whole, and I think I have just the thing!"
Nabiki gave the boy a shrewd stare. "Do you . . . "
The boy grinned. "Trust me, the value of what I have to offer is worth much more than my genes!
Half an hour later, Elder Cologne of the Chinese Amazons came across an unusual sight . . . even by Neriman standards!
Within the Tendo dojo, Akane was practicing katas under Ranma's supervision. What was so unusual about it was that Ranma was actively fixing everything from the girls balance, the way she moved, and how her blocks and strikes were positioned . . .
. . . and Akane wasn't complaining about it!
What was even odder was Ranma's passive Chi signature. While it looked normal at first, after examining it for a while, it seemed . . . older . . . than it should be. Also, the way it moved seemed like it was being suppressed . . . but that was impossible, as no one outside of Jusendo Valley could have taught him how to do that . . .
And then, there was a slight difference in how it felt . . . Cologne couldn't tell what it was, but she knew it was there . . .
As Cologne pondered these things, Ranma stepped back, nodded at Akane (who then started the kata over again), and turned towards her . . . despite the fact that she was hiding her ki signature from the boy!
"You gonna come down here, or should I go up there?" He called out.
Hiding her surprise, Cologne leapt from the roof, landing right next to the young male. "Shampoo said that you wished to speak to me, son-in-law. While I must say that I am glad to see you return, I am curious as to what you want to see me for . . . "
Ranma grinned, and then, with a flick of his wrist, he held a red orb of glass, about half a foot long.
Cologne inspected the orb for a minute. After she was done, she looked back up at Ranma, confused.
"I apologize, Son-in-Law, but I do not . . . "
A sudden flash ripped through her eyesight, and before she knew it, a torrent of fire seemed had replaced Ranma. As the old Amazon Elder looked on in shock, she soon noticed that the flames weren't consuming Ranma. Instead, they were surrounding him, and they seemed to spread from the orb in his hands.
"Behold, one of the long lost treasures of Zuo Ci: the Hi Yuki Tama! This Orb of Fire was one of his greatest weapons, and holds the ability to put you and your tribe on a more equal footing with Saffron, the next time he tries for succession." He then grinned at the astonished Elder and the rest of the household, which had come out to see what was going on. "And it can be yours, for one easy payment!"
Cologne looked at him in shock and awe. From what she could see and feel, the flames were hot enough to consume flesh and bone in an instance, but it didn't affect Ranma at all! It couldn't even be pinned on the Phoenix Pill, which would have only affected Ranma, and not any of his clothing!
"Wha . . . what do you want for it, so-son-in-law?" She finally stuttered out.
Ranma smirked. "Call off the engagement to Shampoo, and it's yours!" When Cologne's mouth slammed shut, he added "If you think the other Elders may have a promise with this, tell them that there is precedence, and I'd be willing to through in a few other . . . items that I might have picked up in the last month . . . as well as a promise to ally with your tribe on the condition that it doesn't force me to leave Japan, or fight in any needless wars."
The ancient woman stood there in silence, watching as the flames grew in height, intensity, and power. Finally, she croaked out "I . . . I will have to speak with the other Elders about this . . . "
"Then go. This and several other artifacts will be waiting for you."
Almost reluctantly, she leapt away, and the firestorm surrounding Ranma instantly died out. He then turned towards the dojo and looked at his student/fiancé. "Are you just going to stand there, or are we going to get back to training?"
At his comment, everyone scattered back to what they were doing, and Ranma smirked, and then followed Akane back into the dojo.
After about two hours, Ranma and Akane left the dojo. Ranma was upbeat, while Akane, while happy that she was getting trained, was also rather annoyed at the level they had started with.
Finally, she asked "Ranma, not that I don't like finally getting proper training, but why did we have to review breathing control and my stances? I mean, that is so basic it's not even funny!"
Ranma smiled at his fiancé. "It's about time you asked; I was expecting something from you when we started practice." At her scowl, his smile turned into a smirk. "Your father may have taught you the basics before your mom died, but he's done nothing since then. Certain changes have happened since then."
"Like?"
"Like those things on your chest for one." Akane immediately blanched at this statement, but Ranma carried on. "Once puberty hit ya, your reach, balance, and height all changed. For a little girl, your stances and aiming would be solid, but you are taller, and having breasts, even small ones, would dramatically change anyone's balance; and before you get all defensive all me, remember: I speak from experience!"
Akane blinked, stunned at the way that Ranma not only explained himself, but managed to divert her anger. "And the breathing control?"
"It's a ki control exercise. After you learn enough meditation, you'll be able to actually feel your ki ebb and flow with your breathing. After you manage that, we can work on techniques that utilize it subconsciously, and work up from there."
Akane nodded, and then followed Ranma into the house. As they neared the door, Akane looked towards the boy, and asked "Ranma . . . where did you find that orb thingy that you showed Cologne?"
"As I said before, my travelling companion on my trip was a bit of a history nut, and had a habit of travelling to different places on a whim. He had some business in Mongolia, and while we were there, we came across some trinkets that were left there. Apparently, back when the Mongolians were invading China, they ended up taking a bunch of stuff that wasn't theirs. The Hi Yuki Tama was just one of them."
"And he was over on the continent, why?" Both Ranma and Akane jerked around to find Nabiki behind them, who had obviously listened in on the conversation.
At her question, all amusement fled from Ranma's face, and with a blank look, he told her "That information is classified under International Law."
"And if I were to try and look into it?" she purred.
"Ranma's look remain blank. "It would be better if you do not."
"How come?"
"Because I don't know if I would be able to protect you from them."
This statement sent a sudden shudder through both sisters' spines. Ranma was usually very confident; for him to admit that he couldn't do something . . . even hypothetically . . .
It was a chilling thought.
As Ranma walked back into the house, both girls couldn't help but wonder, not for the last time, what must have happened during that trip.
That afternoon, after berating a sobbing Soun about how he should have done at least some follow up training with his youngest daughter, Ranma stood on top of the roof, watching the clouds.
"Nice view." Ranma turned around to face a girl, approximately his age, with pink hair and green eyes. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a plain black T-shirt.
"Yeah, it is. What are you doing out here?" He asked.
"I got bored waiting for you to call me. I must admit though, life is rather interesting around here."
You've checked everyone's energy levels, then?"
The girl grinned. "Yep! So many high leveled people here! If need be, I could feed off of them for a while."
They stood out there for a time, just watching the sky, until the girl spoke again. "Ranma . . . "
"Yeah?"
"Please don't let there be a need . . . "
"I'll try."
A beat of silence went by, and then Ranma and the girl heard Kasumi call up that lunch was ready. The girl's image then faded into nothing, as Ranma leapt off the roof and ran inside . . .
Leaving one very confused mercenary standing in her room . . .
Lunch was a rather unusual event that day. For one thing, it was running late, as Kasumi didn't pay any interest in how much time passed while she was reading a certain book. Also, while she was content to put it down to cook, she was loath to put it down to do anything else, and nearly tripped as she brought out a pitcher of cold tea. Ranma, now female, insisted that she sit down, and then brought the rest of the food out herself.
Ranma sat down to eat, shooting a dirty glare at her father, who had tried, once again, to steal food off of her plate, and who had, also once again, ended up with a welt on his hand. Both he and Akane made a point to ignore Kasumi, who was giggling rather perversely while reading the book. After a minute, Nabiki leaned over to look at what she was reading. After a few seconds, she immediately leaned back with a rather large blush on her face.
Finally, Genma could take it no longer. "Boy, I am your father! We will continue our meal training now, and you will stop acting like a weak little girl this instant!"
All three Tendo sisters looked up at the fat old man, and none of their looks were happy. Ranma, however just snorted. "Oh come off it Pops, or go back to Ancient Greece. Better yet, just go already!"
As everyone turned their eyes towards him, Ranma rolled his eyes. "The ancient Greeks believed that women were physically and mentally weak and susceptible to baser urges then men were. They were basically used for bearing children. In fact, had we lived in Greece during those days, all three of you would have been sold off for marriages, and only Kasumi would have a decent time of it, considering that she is the only woman here who would fit the image of the ideal Greek female."
The rest of the table blinked at him, as Nabiki cleared her throat. "I'm guessing that this travelling companion of yours told you about this?"
"Yeah, and he once told me that my father would be the ideal Greek man back in those days. Actually made me take comfort in the fact that we weren't raised under those conditions; otherwise I might have been sold off to the nearest whorehouse after I got cursed."
As most of the table sent rather negative glares towards a paling Genma (who had secretly had thoughts like that just after Jusenkyo), Akane asked "But what about the Greek Goddesses? The Greeks supposedly had a lot of respect for them, and they were female . . . "
The aqua-transsexual snorted. "Despite their attitudes, the ancient Greeks feared women for their cunning minds and ability to bring new life into this world. Much of their beliefs tend to stem from that. Of their Goddesses, only half of them were treated with any true respect by males. Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, was a slut by our standards, and Hera, wife to the God Zeus and Goddess of Marriage, was the ultimate bitchy housewife. Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest, was only respected due to the fact that she was responsible for all things growing."
"The other three were only given their positions of respect after swearing off sex and becoming permanent virgins. Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, was Zeus' favorite, and had a habit of helping heroes in need. Hestia, Goddess of the Hearth, wasn't very popular in those days, as only women paid her any attention, and Artemis, Goddess of the hunt . . . let's just say that I'd pity the fool who dared to walk in on her while she was taking a bath, as her past track record with those men hadn't left many survivors."
As he reached the end of his monologue, Ranma noticed the shell-shocked looks that everyone had given him. He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, if any teacher had made a point to make history as meaningful as the Doctor had made it sound like, I would have done a lot better on most of my history tests."
"The Doctor?" Nabiki was keen enough to catch Ranma's slip, but he obviously knew that it wasn't much to go on.
"That's what he called himself. Never told anyone his real name, though he was partial to the alias 'John Smith'."
As most of the table paused to consider this new tidbit (Genma having gone into his 'cute little panda' act), Akane snorted. "Most of the class is going to be planning for the apocalypse when you come back to school."
Ranma couldn't help but blink at this statement. "How come?"
"Hinako-sensei is going over Greek and Roman Civilizations next week."
In another country, far to the west of Japan, many things were taking place.
A young African American woman was being briefed on certain emergency situations that were taking place in the Land of the Rising Sun.
The adopted mother of an extraordinary young boy was looking at astrology reports that NASA would love to get their hands on, and finding worrisome bits of data that she did not like.
A middle aged scientist was boarding a plane under an assumed identity, looking to regain her errant experimental guinea pig.
Light years away, on another world, a young girl prays for the return of her people's savior, who saved them from slavery.
Back in Japan, a series of robotic minds wait for the day they can begin the assimilation of the human race.
And somewhere, somewhere deep within the outer reaches of time and space, a man sneezed, and knew, just KNEW, that his luck would end up bringing him back to Japan . . . because it was never that good. . .
COMING UP NEXT: A week passes, a photo shows up that turns a few heads, a slightly unwelcome phone call arises. Plus, several old crones decide not to leave things alone like they should. Stay tuned!
Yes, the last posted chapter of The Martial Artist and the Great Detective is missing. Blame that on my enthusiasm with my last chapter of The Trouble with Past Lives. I can't find the old file, so unless someone out there saved it, I will have it rewritten and reposted sometime soon.
My muse has returned momentarily to this old project. I have no idea how long she will stay, but I hope it's for a long, long time.
Just in case I don't get it out before then, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year . . . and Merry Whatever it is that atheists celebrate.
Later!
