Author's Note: It's time for the first episode of Mini Brawl! In this debut, Mario has to team up with Snake, Yoshi, and Kirby in order to save Sonic, Diddy Kong and Pikachu after they are kidnapped by PETA. Enjoy!
Episode 1: Smash Abuse
It now shows the battlefield stage as Mario appears out of a warp pipe, Sonic spins up onto the stage, Diddy Kong busts out of a barrel labeled DK, and Pikachu coming out of a Pokeball as the announcer calls out.
3
2
1
GO!
The four Smashers then dash towards each other in order to duke it out, when suddenly Mario is drenched in a spillage of blood
Mario: Mama-mia!
Suddenly he looks behind him to see a bunch of protestors behind him waving signs that say stuff like "Free the animals" or "Meat is murder". They also have the word PETA on all of their t-shirts.
PETA Member: Just who do you think you are man! Trying to beat up these innocent little creatures! They have their own personal rights to you know!
Sonic: Is it possible that you can take your angry mob somewhere else? We're trying to have a brawl here!
PETA Member: Don't you worry you beautiful creation of God! We won't let this horrid man touch hurt you or your little buddies ever again! Let's take them back to our base so we can give them the proper treatment they deserve!
The three animal fighters then noticed that they had been but into cages and were being carried off as they struggled to get free. Mario just stood there as if he was dumbstruck until the PETA member poured another bucket of blood on him.
PETA Member: Just remember that you are responsible for the abuse of animals each and every day!
It now shows a giant military like fortress, surrounded with security cameras, turrets, an electric fence, and vicious guard dogs. Sonic slowly wakes up as he is now bound to a chair and sees a bunch of people dressed up with lab coats looking down at him.
Sonic: Will somebody please tell me off what you're planning to do to Sonic the Hedgehog?
Suddenly, the door slides open as a bulky man dressed like a military sergeant with an eye patch, because eye patches make you look cooler, steps into the room.
Doctor: What shall we do with this one sir?
The man then takes a good look at Sonic before turning to the doctors to give his answer.
PETA Leader: Have this one neutered and spayed immediately!
Sonic: SAY WHAT!?
The leader then left the room as the medics approached Sonic as they held surgeon tools, like knives, buzzsaws, and other painful operation devices.
Sonic: Wait! You can't do this! SONIC THE HEDGEHOG NEEDS HIS BALLS! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
A couple of PETA members then stepped into a room where they opened what appeared to be an even larger cage while letting out Diddy Kong from his as he looked around at his new surroundings frantically.
Diddy: Who are you people? And what are you planning to do with me!?
PETA Member: Your in a better place now little buddy. No longer will you have to suffer at hands of man. Also to make sure that you're not lonely, we put in a friend for you to interact with.
Diddy: Friend?
The chimp suddenly felt as if something was breathing down his neck. He looked up to see a huge gorilla standing behind him. The ape roared while pounding its chest causing Diddy to cower in fear.
Diddy: So, does this mean we're friends?
Pikachu was then taken to another room in the facility and was dumped out of his cage into a white cube. There in front of him was a female mouse while he also saw some individuals in lab coats behind a screen with noteboards in hand.
Observer: Don't mind us. We're just back here so we can observe the process of sexual relationships in the rodent family. You are free to make out whenever you please.
Pikachu then looked at the mouse, back at the observers, back at the mouse, and back at the observers again.
Pikachu: Can I make out with one of my own species? I'm a Pokemon not a regular animal you dumbasses.
Outside of the base far of to the mountains, Mario has gathered together Solid Snake, Yoshi, and Kirby in order to infiltrate the base and rescue their fellow Smashers.
Mario: So what's-a the plan-a Snake?
Snake then got out a rolled sheet of paper, layed it on the ground, and rolled it out to reveal a map of the facility as everyone gathered around.
Snake: The front is protected by a large electric fence, so I'll need the lizard thing to create a diversion while we sneak in. Also, the gate is guarded by attack dogs, so I'll need the pink marshmallow to take care of them. After which Mario and I will break in and rescue the hostages. And if any of us get hungry, we'll eat the lizard thing if necessary!
Yoshi realized that Snake was talking about him as he made a little yelp and gulped nervously.
Snake: Let's get into battle stations men!
Everyone nodded as they proceeded to carry out their rescue mission. Yoshi walked up to the front gate and made his trademark sound. This caused the guards to lower their weapons as one of them spoke through his walkie-talkie.
Guard: Sir we've got another homeless animal that needs to be taken into custody. Although, this one looks like a dinosaur.
Leader: That's impossible. Keep an eye on the creature until I get down there to check it for myself!
Guard: Yes Sir! Hey there little guy. Don't be afraid because you're safe with…
Yoshi then stuck out his tongue towards the guard and pulled him inside his mouth as he screamed until he swallowed him while laying an egg. The other guard at first looked dumbstruck, but then pointed his gun at the dinosaur like creature while shaking.
Other Guard: Don't move! There's no need to be hostile. We just want to…
He was cut off short as he took was swallowed by Yoshi and turned into an egg. He then picked up the two eggs and threw them off to the distance.
While Yoshi was taking care of the guards, the other three had just finished climbing over the electric fence. However in doing so caused the dogs to wake up as they growl and ran towards them while barking madly.
Snake: Marshmallow, you know what to do!
Kirby nodded as he opened his mouth and started sucking the attack dogs towards it as they whimpered. When he swallowed, he suddenly had dog fur coloring, dog ears, and a dog nose. He then began to growl and bark like a real dog.
Mario: He should-a preoccupy the-a guards out-a front. Let's-a go!
Mario and Snake then ran through the corridors of the building, taking care of any hall wanderers either with fireballs or neck snapping. They suddenly stopped at one room where they heard moaning and groaning. They opened the door slowly where they surprisingly saw all the doctors brutally beaten while also having some surgical tools impaled through them as Sonic stood there triumphantly.
Sonic: Let that be a lesson to all of you that no one and I mean no one messes with Sonic the Hedgehog's wang! Except for the ladies! But not Amy!
He then saw Mario and Snake and proceeded to give them a thumbs up.
Sonic: Nice timing guys. But I already got this situation taken car of.
Snake: Quit you're bragging and come with us if you want to get out of this hellhole.
Sonic rolled his eyes as he follow the two video game stars. They continued running until Sonic heard something that sounded like Pikachu's voice. He then motioned Mario and Snake to the door as they busted the door open.
Mario: Don't-a worry Pikachu! We've-a come to-a…GOOD-A GOD!
The three stood there with their jaws open as they saw their own Pikachu "doing it" with another Pikachu.
Sonic: Wow! I didn't know the little guy had it in him!
Snake: You can get busy latter you little rat! We still got one more to rescue!
Snake then grabbed and pulled Pikachu away as he was carried off. The two Pikachus then streched their arms out to each other.
Pikachu: Call me!
It now shows the area where Diddy Kong was put and his roommate did not mutilate him appartenly. Instead, both of them were sitting across from each other while eating bananas.
Diddy: I just don't get why many consider me to be a loser. I mean, my Peanut Popgun could be lethal if I shot someone who was allergic.
He then heard the door opening as he saw Mario, Snake, Sonic, and Pikachu bursting into the room.
Diddy Kong: Hey guys. I want you to meet my new friend. At first, I thought he was going to kill me but he's not such a bad guy once you get to know him.
Snake then examined the gorilla, but then noticed something that caused him to pull no his head.
Snake: This isn't a real gorilla! It's really…
He ripped off the costume to reveal an African American man that made everyone gasp.
Everyone: Andre Benjamin from Outcast!?
Andre: Hey y'all. How's it going?
Mario: What-a are you-a doing here dressed-a up like a gorilla?
Andre: I was trying to put together a new band made of gorillas.
It then shows a bunch of gorillas on a stage hooting and smashing their instruments uncontrollably.
Sonic: I'm guessing that didn't work out as well as you planned.
Andre: Naw! But I kinda like it here. They have great service, you can "go" anywhere you want, and best of all, all the bananas you can eat.
Suddenly the five heard a bunch of sirens wailing and buzzers going off.
Snake: Looks like they're on to us. Let's get out of here!
The Smashers continued their way through the building until they made it back outside. Before they made it past the gate, a giant machine blocked their way, which was piloted by the PETA leader.
PETA Leader: So you thought you could escape with those animals did you? Well not if my giant robot made of mating cells and I have anything to say about it!
The giant machine prepares to advance towards the five escapees as they prepare to fight.
Sonic: Time to use the Chaos Emeralds!
He then closed his eyes as seven different colored gems appeared in front of him. They then circled around himself, Snake, and Mario as they began to transform. Sonic became Super Sonic, Mario became Star Spirit Mario, and Snake became…well…Old Snake.
Snake: What the hell!? I have hemorrhoids again!
He then saw a snake slithering on the ground as he picked it up and took a big bite out of it.
Snake: Ah! That's some good stuff!
PETA Leader: Die you animal eating bastard!!!
Mario and Sonic charged at the robot, but they bounced right off it. They continued to try and pummel the machine with no effect until they became too tired to fight anymore. Snake tried to help, but his back gave out as he tried to move.
Snake: I'm getting to old for this!
PETA Leader: Ha! You're so called powers is no match for my incredible machine! It is indestructible! It is invincible! It is…What!?
He then noticed that the machine was shaking as he looked down and saw a shocking sight. Pikachu was apparently doing the machine.
Sonic: All right little buddy!
Mario: That is-a probably the-a most disturbing-a thing I-a have seen-a in my-a life!
While Pikachu was still "mating" with the machine, it began to short circuit and break down.
PETA Leader: I knew I should have made this machine out of tofu!
He then screamed as the machine blew up with him in it. The dust then settled as the PETA leader was seen lying on the ground groaning. He then got up slowly only to have the Smashers looking down at him angrily.
PETA Leader: He he he. Look, why don't we all just talk about this over a nice hot plate of tofu pizza? Huh?
Snake then picked him up and pointed a gun towards his head.
Snake: I have an idea. How about you be the pizza?
PETA Leader: Huh? What do you mean…
It then cuts to the wall as a gunshot is fired and blood splattered on it. Snake then put his gun back in his leg holster and turned to the others.
Snake: Good work plumber, marshmallow, and lizard. I am proud to call you three my personal soldiers!
Mario, Yoshi, and Kirby all smiled and nodded in agreement as Sonic looked around as he scratched his head.
Sonic: Hey! Anyone know where Pikachu went?
It now shows Pikachu with the female Pikachu surrounded by a huge number of Pichus as they look back and forth at their "parents" as they quarrel.
Female Pikachu: I do all the work around the house and take care of the kids with no appreciation as you just sit around all day and drink beer. When are you going to going to actually do something around here!?
Pikachu: Shut up bitch and make me some dinner!
Female Pikachu: That's it you selfish ungrateful bastard! I want a divorce immediately!
Pikachu: Well go ahead! I don't give a damn! Just take your little rodents and get out of my damn life!
The two continued to argue as the others looked on confusedly.
Mario: Well, some-a marriages can't-a last forever!
Diddy Kong: Ain't that the truth!
The gang laughed as the screen closes in on them like a circle.
Author's Note: How was that? There will be many more of these to come along with a few specials thrown into the mix. Until the next Mini Brawl, Review Away!
