II. One Last Night

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If I had to give all that I own,

In return for the love that's grown,

I would give it gladly, 'cause nothing else compares,

To the moments that we shared.

-"If Tonight is My Last" by Laura Izibor

.::.

"You're liaison position has been terminated."

The words repeated over and over in her mind, each time hitting her harder than the previous and it made her feel like gagging out the non-existent contents of her stomach.

She'd made a life here in America for the past three years, and they were sending her back? Just like that?

The people around her, as much as she'd disliked saying, had grown on her. Even Tony. Especially Tony.

Of all things that she'd expected this rejection from, it would've never crossed her mind to be NCIS. They'd accepted her, had they not?

She wouldn't be surprised, not at all, if her father was the one who requested for her return. Whatever he was aiming at she'd already made up her mind, there was no way that she'd ever choose her life before to her life now. She could bet her life on that.

.::.

And yet again she failed to keep her word to herself. It was the middle of the night and she was as she guaranteed herself she wouldn't, packing her things, ready for shipment back to Israel. Her heart thumped incredibly slowly that she feared that her blood had stopped circulating completely. But the thought of returning to the land of her birth shook her and left her uncertain.

Her knees felt like giving out, the emotions of everything threatened to burst out of her, and it almost did. Until a knock came on the door and she bravely gathered her broken pieces and stuffed them back together, no matter the order, they'd just have to hold for a little longer.

She was surprised to see Tony when she opened the door, he was still in his sharp wrinkle-free black suit from the funeral earlier in the day, and she could tell he'd been crying, the redness of his eyes betrayed him.

"I thought DiNozzo men don't cry," she gave herself a slap on the head; it wasn't an appropriate joke. The hurt on his face made her feel like dropping to her knees and cry herself, but that wasn't her, she had never been one to display the results of her weaknesses. But the man that stood before her was different, he was real, he was there and she'd tripped time after time for him.

The creak of the wood beneath his shoes shook her back to reality, there was no way he was leaving without saying goodbye. And before she knew it she made a grab for his hand and she just managed to hook her fingers around his last finger as he turned. There were no words that were exchanged, they weren't necessary; their actions had always spoken more than anything else between them. It was clear she wanted him there; it would be most likely their last night together. Stuff the rules!

.::.

His familiar scent crept up her nose and it felt oddly comforting as it stirred her from her sleep, her body fired up at the sight of her partner next to her, and as she finally relaxed she studied his sleeping face. Her heart sunk, it felt like mammoths were tugging at her. What had she just done?

She'd created a bridge, one that she couldn't bear to possibly leave. And it didn't help at all that his arms were strung around her body, and his fingers, soft and warm interlocked with hers. Her head lay softly in the crook of his neck, and it felt all too normal, like she'd been his embrace thousands of times before. And it made it so much harder to pull away, to say no.

"You're hearts beating fast," a shiver ran up her spine as she averted her eyes from his face. Everything was so still that she could feel his eyes open like a gust of wind blowing in her face.

"Are you okay?" His voice was husky from sleep.

"It is all your fault." She let out in little gasps, trying desperately to keep her emotions under control.

"This is not a mistake, Ziva."

"It is! I am leaving tomorrow Tony! Do you not get it?" She should've pushed him away, but instead she buried her head deeper into him, frustrated at both him and herself.

"Then I'm sorry," she retreated and her deep brown orbs stared at him, "I'm sorry I didn't stand up to Vance."

"It is better that you did not."

"Why not? I've lost enough, we've lost enough! And I'm not going to lose you!" She took a deep breath; he was making it so damn hard. Why couldn't he just say ok and leave?

"No, Tony. You are just looking for something to hold on to, and I am not the one who you should hold onto."

"No, you're the one looking for an excuse; you've never ever stayed and not run, because you're afraid!" His words stung her, the stinging ache ran through her body and she had to admit, he was right. She had always ended up running, from pain and all the shit that posed a threat towards her.

"I have to go Tony, my orders are now in Israel, I am not running."

"You can say whatever you want," he untangled their bodies and rose out of the bed. And immediately his warmth and comfort left with him, and the cold that took his place made her feel so alone.

"This is for the best, Tony," Her words were unconvincing as she watched him fondle around for his shirt, "please stay."

"Whatever, you've made your choice Ziva."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He zipped up his slacks and she felt like pulling him back into bed with her, because it was true, she was the one that was looking for something to hold on to. His eyes were trained on her as he approached closer to the bed and she was almost fooled into thinking he would come back. But he leant over, his lips a mere inch from hers, teasing, and there was a pause before he kissed her lips tenderly, as if he was trying to remember it.

"Have a good flight," his voice was incredibly soft that under normal circumstances would've been what soft cushions were made of but instead it felt like the end of a knife.

And as she lay naked in her bed she watched the best thing in her life walk out, and in the midst of it all, however odd, Jenny's question reemerged and floated in her head. From all those years back, and of all things, it was like Jenny was mocking her.

"If you could change your life, would you?"

Maybe it was the guilt of leaving the question unanswered, and Jenny certainly deserved an answer and she hoped to god that Jenny was listening; because it was she who taught her to forget about the past and live her life trusting others around her.

"No, I would give everything to have this again."

.::.

She woke with a jolt, she must've been absolutely drained that her usually vigilant senses had not picked up the heat-radiating form next to her. To say the least she was surprised. What had changed his mind? She didn't really care, to be honest.

"I'll drive you to the airport." She jerked backwards as his grayish-green eyes slipped open and gazed at her, his hand gently laced around her waist.

.::.

A/N: Thanks for all that reviewed, love you guys . There's one more part to go!