Age: sixteen years. Jounin.
o0o
He's sitting on a branch outside a window, watching four kids playing cards and drinking sake stolen from one or the others parents. He doesn't know them, but he knows their names. Namiashi Raidō. Shiranui Genma. Yūhi Kurenai. Sarutobi Asuma. They're around about his age, and he watches them to see how they relate to each other and compares it to how he acts around people to see what he's doing wrong.
Sarutobi takes a drag from a cigarette he's pilfered from somewhere; coughs. Thinks it'll make him look cool in the slightly older boys' eyes. Genma slaps him on the back and laughs. "Smoking's not the way to get the ladies."
Kakashi leans forward. He wants to know how to get girls to like him, because mostly they run away. He's embarrassed that he's sixteen and never been kissed, never had a girlfriend. Genma, at eighteen, has done many things more than that and never hesitates to share.
"You gotta be cool, man. You need to ooze sex appeal. Girls love a charmer."
Kurenai giggles. "I'm sure your smooth talking goes over really well with the trailer trash you dig, Genma."
"You don't appreciate my suave style?"
Kurenai shakes her head, exasperated, and then gains a mischievous look. "Speaking of suave style, guess who tried to hit on Ayumi-chan the other day?"
Kakashi takes a step back.
"Who?" Raidō sticks a straw in his drink and swirls it around, looking bored with the conversation.
"Ha-Hatake Kakashi," Kurenai says, barely able to keep a straight face. "And do you know what he said to her? 'I wanted to know if you eat dinner. Would you consider eating it with me?' And he tried to give her a wilted daisy. It was all she could do not to run away. He's so scary."
Everyone else at the table laughs. "Man, that kid is messed up," Genma comments.
"Yeah, I wouldn't want to run into him on a dark night," Asuma adds. "There's something freaky about him."
Kakashi slinks back into the shadows, turns, and bounds off back to the empty Hatake home. His heart feels heavy in his chest as he knows that he is forever going to be the one watching from the outside, in the cold, while others share warmth and laughter in the light. At least he's found out one thing though.
The way to get a date is to not be Kakashi.
