"Here Today- Bully Tomorrow"

By: Snark

DISCLAIMER: The author does not own "Phineas and Ferb", nor its characters. No profit is made from this work of fiction. Any chance that the work is portraying the likeness of real people and or places is merely coincidental. My nostrils whisper to me. If you like, leave a comment. If you hate, leave a comment. If you wanna- (SMACK!) , leave a comment.

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CHAPTER TWO: "A Challenger Appears"

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"Sometimes your closest friend is your greatest enemy."

~Jason Fong

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Meanwhile, at the arcade two blocks from the Flynn-Fletcher household, two young individuals were planning out their day.

"And why can't we be playing the air hockey?"

"'Cause I said so, nerd. Everybody knows it's the shoot 'em up games that are the besterer."

"'Besterer' isn't even a word."

"It is now."

It was safe to say that they were not Phineas and Ferb.

"Okay okay, Buford, how about we come to a reasonable compromise? We play a little air hockey, and then we play the violent games where you win by making the poor defenseless aliens' brains explode."

The larger boy picked up the West Indian one by the collar. He got all in his face, squinting an eye threateningly, as he pulled his other arm back- ready to pummel Baljeet.

"How 'bout I compromise your face?"

Baljeet laughed nervously.

"Ahehe. You know what? I suddenly don't have the desire to be playing the air hockey anymore. How about we play that 'shoot them up' game you wanted to play?"

The bully set his nerd back down on the ground, smiling triumphantly. He pat the dark skinned boy on the head.

"I thought you'd never ask. Ready for some fun, 'Jeet? Buford thinks that using you as practice is gonna finally get me the high score!"

"Oh, goody! It's nice to know my sufferings will come in useful! I've brought the seemingly endless supply of quarters, as you requested."

The boys walked deeper into the arcade, until they reached the very device they were looking for. "Area Not Quite 51" towered before them, looking worn from the sixteen years of use. But while it certainly LOOKED old, it still ran as beautifully as if it was brand new. Buford smiled as he walked over and grabbed both gun. He extended one gun wielded hand to his friend, beckoning him to join him. Baljeet had just taken the fake weapon, and was putting in quarters for them, when their fun was interrupted.

"And who said YOU two pipsqueaks could play MY game?"

A large figure stomped towards them. So large, in fact, that he appeared twice as wide and tall as Buford himself. At first Baljeet considered how the tyrant seemed to be shaped like a bell. But this notion was quickly drowned by terror, as he took in the threatening look. The nerd found himself ducking behind his bully in fear.

Buford, however, didn't seem so phased.

"Oh yeah? Who the heck are you?"

"The name's Gloeckner. Larry Gloeckner. Just moved here. Got that memorized?"

Buford smirked. "Right. Sure thing, LARRY. Now since I know you're new, Buford will let ya off with a warning. Be off and leave me and my nerd alone, or I'll have to get nasty. Got THAT memorized?"

"Ha. I see what you did right there. Clever."

"You really think so? I've been trying to think of how to work it in since ya said it."

"I saw. I saw. Quite funny."

"Why, thank you."

The two bullies cut their pleasantries and went back to glaring.

"Look here, small fry, I don't do well with threats. Now I'll be taking over this game." He paused. Larry grew a wicked smile as his eyes landed on Baljeet. "And in fact, I'll be taking over your bully-ee as well."

"What?"

A small crowd of people gathered around. It was a known scientific fact that people can smell the conflict particles in the air. And like magnets, they are drawn to it. No need to look this up to clarify the facts. The author would never lie to you.

The said crowd gasped.

"You heard me," Larry began, "I'm taking what's his face."

"The name's Baljeet. And really, I find it a bit unethical that you two would fight for dominance and involve me as a trophy. Don't I get any say in this?"

The two bullies shouted in unison:

"Shut it, nerd!"

Buford grabbed his own right arm, as if pulling up nonexistent long sleeves. He put up his fists, ready to duke it out. The fair skin lad pointed dramatically up at Gloeckner.

"Ovah my dead body!"

And with that, he punched the towering child as hard as he could in the stomach.

Everyone in the room gasped once more, as Larry began to laugh. Buford's punch had no effect. His arm went limply to the side, as Van Stomm was stupefied. This made it easy for the larger fiend to push him to the ground, towering over Buford.

Never before had he felt so small and powerless.

"Welp, that settles it. As it states in article G of paragraph seven of the Bully Code: 'If you get bested, all bullying rights go to the winner.' So with that, we'll be seeing you. Come on, Balfeet."

"Actually, that's BalJEEEEEET!"

Larry had suddenly picked up the Indian boy and started carrying him off, over his shoulder. Baljeet looked at Buford, pleading for help.

"BUFORD! Help me! He is taking my being away! BUFORD! …Seriously, I don't like being this high!"

It didn't take long before they were both out of sight, and Buford was just as alone as he felt.

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AN:

And here we are, getting deeper and deeper into the main plot. The Buford and Baljeet moments tend to be my second favorite part of the show. (First being the interactions between Doofenshmirtz and Perry. But to be fair, I'm sure that's everyone's favorite part of the show.) Buford and Baljeet have an interesting relationship. Bully and Nerd. Predator and Prey. Yet, they are the best of friends. They don't have anyone but the other. It's quite complexed. When I was their age, I know I never considered the people that beat me up as my best friends. I hated them. Sure, I felt sorry for them at times, and wouldn't want to hurt them…but I could never truly get rid of my hate and see past it. It's watching these two on the show that makes me want to re-evaluate my memories, and wish that I had somebody like Buford. You know, instead of the pricks I had.