Don't hate me.

Sanatan Lopez likes her sleep. In fact no, let's change that, Santana Lopez loves her sleep. Rightly so. So what she doesn't appreciate is some noisy little fucker banging on her door at 7AM on a Saturday morning. "Where's people's sense these days." She groaned out, her voice rough with sleep. The banging continued, fuelling Santana's mood.

"OK I GET IT, YOU'RE AT MY DOOR, CHILL THE FUCK OUT OUT!" she yelled as she through her duvet off her, letting the cold air hit her PJ clad body.

Feet padded to the door, wincing slightly at the cold of the wooden floor. Reaching the door, Santana took the latch off. She may be prepared to go all Lima Heights, but she still doesn't want strangers coming in and touching her shit. Pulling the door open, her eyes narrowed into a glare at a particular fish faced blonde boy.

"Good morning Sunshine." Sam greeted with a smile as he walked into his friends apartment. He turned around to look at Santana, who had her hand covering her nose and her eyebrows showing a deep frown.

"Samuel, why would I let you into my home, especially when you smell this fucking bad! Like, my nostrils actually hate me right now for allowing them to suffer through this."

Sam let out a chuckle before holding his head high, "Because, peasant, I'm here to help you start packing! Britt's working a 12 hour shift tonight, and the guys are out of town, so I thought I'd come here and assist my best friend!" He grinned out, way to happy for Santana's liking.

The pair had a minute silence between them, both staring at each other in a showdown.

"I was you're last choice wasn't I, Sammy boy?"

"Yes. Yes you were. Now, lets start packing and then I'll take you over to see the place?" He offered, Santana let out a small laugh and nodded at the boy.

"There's boxes in the kitchen. But I swear if you even think about touching my underwear draw or the shoebox under my bed, you better grow a vagina and fast!"

-XxXxX-

The duo has been packing up Santana's stuff for the past hour and a half, and Sam was starting to lose interest, and what better way to entertain himself, than to rattle Santana's cage. Using the ninja skills that he had acquired from birth, he stealthy made his way to Santana's bedroom, every so often checking she was still putting away some records.

After reaching the all clear, he fist pumped at his success. In his little world too much to notice the curious Latina rise from her sitting position with a suspicious glare covering her face.

Sam walked over to the brunette's bed and bent down, reaching his arm blindly under the bed until he felt his hand touch an unknown box. "Score." He whispered to himself. Standing up he shook the box a little, trying to prepare himself for what was in there.

"Sam, don't you dare." A voice behind him caused him to jump and spin around, a grin on his face.

"Don't what, buttercup?"

"You will die, here and now if you continue."

"Mmhmmmmm?"

Sam's hand was progressively moving lower and lower to the box lid, until his fingers were wrapped around the edge.

3

2

1

Just as Sam went to pull the lid off, Santana made a run at him, before rugby tackling him right in the gut, and sending herself and the boy flying, and knocking the box out of his hand. Santana took advantage off her position of having the blonde lying down and quickly reached for his chest, grabbing his weirdly shaped man nipples and twisting them. Sam let out a howl at the pain on his chest, as he pushed Santana off.

"I give, I give!" He said, laying panting on the floor.

Santana nodded with a huff before standing up and grabbing the forgotten box, tucking it safely under her arms and walking away. "Little fucker thinking he can see my precious." She mumbled.

-XxXxX-

"Dude, how come you never told me your place was this sweet?" Santana questioned as they stood outside Sam's apartment building, each carrying a box under each arm.

"Because that would be sorta weird?" The blonde replied as he walked ahead, signalling Santana to follow him.

The brunette tool her time following Sam, admiring the building as they walked through it. Well that was until she walked into some sort of wall, aka Sam's back. "The fuck, Evans?" She complained, rubbing her head.

"Someone's in the house!" He whispered, alarm in his voice. Santana's eyes grew wide as they both listened to the rattling that was going on behind the door in front of them.

"Go in there and show them who's boss, Sam!" Santana encouraged, only to have Sam stand still, unmoving. "...what're you waiting for?!"

"Ummm...Britt usually does stuff like this?"

Santana's face dropped. "You pussy." She dryly stated. "Right well, lucky for us, I have a pair of lady balls. Step aside, blondie." With that Santana opened up one of the boxes she'd been carrying and picked up her favourite lamp. "Imma about to waste a hundred bucks on this dudes head."

With that she pushed the door open with her foot, letting it gently widen bit by bit. Seeing nothing ahead of her, she walked in slowly, grasping the lamp above her head.

"Excu-" Santana heard to her right hand side, she quickly spun of her feet and held the lamp up high causing the theif in front of her to let out a scream. Now if you ask Santana why this next thing happened, she'll punch you square in the jaw, but low and behold, she starts screaming too. Something about having someone scream in your face makes your subconscious to in to over drive.

"Oh, wait, no Sa-" Santana felt arms try to wrap around her from behind, so reflexively swung her fist back until she felt the arms drop and a loud thud. The screaming in front of her then seized.

"Sam!" The female voice questioned.

"How do you kn...wait Sam?" Santana turned around and looked down to the floor, and there, with a quickly appearing bruise on his eye, was Mr Sam Evans.

"You just KO'd my brother, you creep!"

So raise your hand if you hate me? I know, I know :(

Also I was a bit reluctant to carry this on with the whole Bram thing right now, but it doesn't change that Sam and Britt are literally the same person, and Sam and San have an awesome friendship. So lets ignore this little show we call glee shall we?