Disclaimer:All of the characters are the property of Dick Wolf. I thank him, the writers, the directors and all the great actors who brought them "to life" for our benefit. Any "liberties" I have taken with them stems from my fond admiration (and a few personal quirks I will seek "help" for).

AN: This story is not set within the accepted "canon" for the characters as it is only officially portrayed by the TV series. So I get to "fool around" with them in ways in which they've never been seen, stretching that to the limit and suspending the "reality" that is "fiction" to start with…now there's a contradiction in terms!!!

(And yeah Goren I know the proper word for that is oxymoron…and if you keep doing that the temptation will be to boldly split more than an infinitive…)

I have always suspected that Bobby has fantasies about being…um…er…Kevin…youngest of the Busch brothers…

THE CHASE

Bobby Goren cursed silently the fact the SUV was an automatic box as he kicked down the gas pedal to get the revs and acceleration he wanted. Not what General Motors and its infernal electronics knew was best for engine preservation and fuel economy.

The effect was instant as they made it ahead of the lights changing on Fifth and Forty First. Just. As a taxicab making a right, suddenly changed his mind with a blare of the horn.

A quick left and right with the wheel meant they slewed past that and avoided the bus pulling away from a stop. The speedometer was touching fifty-five as he braked hard and somehow the heavy vehicle defied its centre of gravity to make a turn on Forty-Third. Pedestrians on the cross walk scattered.

"You should have taken Forty-Fifth" muttered Alex Eames beside him.

"Who's driving?" he asked mildly as the SUV bucked over a dip in the road and he had to swerve to avoid the rear of a sixteen wheeler backing out of a yard.

"You are Bobby" she hissed before somewhat yelling in his ear. "There he is!"

Several millimetres of tyre tread were left on the road as Bobby's size thirteen hit the brake and perhaps as well for ABS, as they slid by the cement truck. Bobby able to yank the wheel violently right before the SUV's engine protested the renewed acceleration.

"Got him" he said coolly.

The white Lexus they had briefly lost contact with, must have seen them and suddenly sped up.

"Shit" breathed Eames as the sedan mounted the kerb to squeeze down an alleyway to evade them and Bobby went after him.

The SUV at a precarious angle as her partner bumped it up onto the edge of the sidewalk and was lucky not to burst a tyre they hit it so hard. Not so lucky or impossible though, to avoid a lamppost in the confines of the alley as with a hideous screeching noise they went by. Leaving, no doubt, what would be rather more than "a small paint job" from the front panel to the rear.

Alex could feel the bun of the hotdog in her hand starting to disintegrate, she was holding to it so tightly as they cleared the alley right behind the Lexus. Heard Bobby mutter, "Damn" as a sound told you they were now trailing their rear fender, after thumping down off the kerb.

"Left! Left!" she yelped as the Lexus made a sudden turn and somehow managed to miss a line of dumpsters waiting for the garbage truck.

"I know" Bobby grunted softly.

He was forced to use the parking brake to help him turn the SUV, though they clipped the last of the dumpsters as he let it off and it fishtailed slightly under renewed acceleration.

Three men unloading meat from the back of a truck fleeing for the sidewalk as the white car bore down on them at close to sixty. The GM ran over several prime cuts they'd dropped in their haste.

"Guess that's ground beef now" said Bobby flipping the wheel right as they returned to the busy streets.

Just as a small group of pre-school kids were being escorted over the junction.

"No!" Eames screamed unable to stop herself, as with a sickening bang one of the little children was hit and went flying over the roof of the SUV.

Bobby, with his eyes screwed shut, somehow bringing the vehicle to halt before they hit the back of a truck carrying a load of bricks. Red misty lights before his eyes when he opened them.

"GAME OVER" flashed repeatedly on the screen.

"I win" said Eames handing him back his cotton candy as they moved away from the games console "I got 0.6 of a mile further before I ran over that blind man"

"And his seeing eye dog don't forget" muttered Bobby. He was not always a good loser. "How long before we have to be back to the bus?"

"Half an hour" said Eames "Hey! Take this Goren"

"Oh yeah" he took from her the bright green bear he'd won on the rifle range. Honours were about even in the competition stakes he supposed, as he tucked it under his arm.

They walked out of the arcade onto the boardwalk.

"Just time for us to go in The Tunnel of Love Bobby" Eames hinted heavily.

"No thanks" he muttered. "I…um…I…er…you know I'm not great in confined spaces"

"You were fine on The Ghost Train" Eames pointed out. "Though I'm not sure I didn't once date a few of the things we saw in there"

"That was different" Bobby grinned wolfishly. "And worth it for the way Elliot Stabler was screaming the whole way round"

"Urh…uck…mm…ing…urh"

"Excuse me?"

Eames swallowed the last of her hot dog "Sorry. I was saying it's a pity you and he don't get on"

Bobby shrugged and sucked the cotton candy for a moment. "I let him win a goldfish at that hoopla thing didn't I?"

"That's true and that was kind of you Bobby" she said "Not your fault he then dropped the bag. Think that fish will survive long in the drains where Olivia managed to flip it?"

"Longer than it would have in Elliot's strawberry SlurpyI expect" he muttered, recalling the SVU detective's immediate reaction to that crisis. It wasn't one added to his confidence in the man.

"Oh look Bobby" said Eames grabbing the bear he'd decided to call"Yogi Berra".Something else he'd had to explain to Elliot.

"What?" he asked somewhat irritable.

It had been a long, hot day at the "1PP Annual Fun Day" and funfairs were never his idea of "fun" at all. But then his suggestion of a day at the Metor the Guggenheim never seemed to garner much support.

"A coconut shy"

Bobby reached in the pocket of his jeans. "Here's the change then if that's what you want"

"No" snorted Eames before smiling. "I was thinking maybe you'd try and get one? You know they almost nail the things in to stop you winning one. And according to you Bobby, you did pitch for your regiment in the inter unit whatever they call them one time"

He looked down at her "You don't even like coconut"

"And? So?" Eames shrugged in one of those responses of feminine illogic gave Bobby migraines, such he'd stopped trying to fathom them years ago.

"Okay" he sighed passing her Yogi and his cotton candy. "And no sneaky nibbles Eames. I swear you must have a tapeworm the way you've been eating all day"

"No I'm saving the sneaky nibbles for the back seat of the bus after a few beers" She thought to herself. "With any luck"

Bobby took the three wooden balls from the guy, tossing one experimentally and wriggling his shoulder to loosen it.

Maybe a coconut would come in useful after all? He could use it to defend himself on the bus later. Or maybe stop Elliot organising them all to sing stupid campfire songs and leading the actions? Last year he got them so wrong they were all miming "Y the spreading M chest AC" for goodness sake. And the chances of managing to engineer leaving Stabler behind at a rest stop, two years running, were pretty remote.

Five minutes later they were returning to the bus. With one green bear, one coconut and Eames now carrying a bumper box of pizza slices. Already half eaten.

AN: The real reason Bobby hates "The Tunnel of Love" is because of "an incident" in his adolescence on a school outing which still makes him squirm and blush to this day...dial 202-456-1414 to find out more (remember to prefix with 1 if you are calling from outside the USA)