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Episode 2
"Alright boys and girls, we're set to arrive at the planet tomorrow, so let's do some bonding exercises," says Captain Dirk as he talks to his soldiers in the briefing room. Jimmy looks around at the men situated around the room.
"Boys and girls…" he says to no one in particular.
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Journal Entry of Daniel K. Jones:
04/08/2567
Wow, Captain Dirk really is a great guy. I can't believe how good an idea these bonding exercises are. It will be really important for tomorrow when we arrive at the planet, because we'll need to support each other really well, being in an unfamiliar environment and everything. Have I said how great Captain Dirk is yet? Well, he really is. I'm sure he'll lead us to great and wonderful things.
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"Alright everybody, now let's start off with a nice big group hug. Come on everyone, close in now. Group hug. Don't be shy," says Captain Dirk.
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Journal Entry of James L. Davies:
04/08/2567
Captain Dirk is a freaking idiot. I want out. I want out now.
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"Excellent boys and girls," says Captain Dirk, breaking away from the group hug, "Now I want you all to buddy up with a partner. This person you choose shall be your partner for the duration of this mission. Unless they die that is, but we don't want to think about that now, do we. That's sad."
Jimmy searches the room desperately, looking for a partner, but no one seems interested.
"Buddy! We can be partners buddy!" the fearful shout echoes across the room.
"Sir, what are the chances somebody will die tomorrow?" asks Jimmy.
"Oh, don't be a silly billy. No one will die tomorrow, we'll all be perfectly safe," says Captain Dirk.
"Wonderful…" says Jimmy.
"BUDDY!" Daniel shouts, and gives Jimmy a hug.
"Please get off me…" says Jimmy.
"Sure thing buddy," says Daniel.
"Okay people. Now you've found your buddy, we're going to have some team activities. Sounds exciting doesn't it? Firstly, join hands with your buddy. Very good," says Captain Dirk.
"Isn't this fun buddy?" asks Daniel.
"Leave me alone…" says Jimmy.
"Oh, you don't mean that. You're just scared about tomorrow aren't you? It'll be fine, I'll be there with you," says Daniel.
"Oh great. You're making me fell so much better," says Jimmy, his voice thick with sarcasm.
"See, I'm helping you already," says Daniel.
"Now boys and girls, I want you to follow me in these dance steps. This shall help you to synchronize both your partner's and your own movement's into one, fluid motion," says Captain Dirk. He presses a button and a slow waltz starts to play.
"And one, and two. And one and two and now a three. Excellent Daniel, that's the way. Try and keep up Jimmy. And three and four and back to a one. Super job, let's pick up the pace," says Captain Dirk as he continues the dance.
"This is pissing me off…" Jimmy mutters.
"Oh, you shouldn't say that word Jimmy, there's much better ways to say you need to do number one," says Daniel.
"What?" asks Jimmy, who didn't have a clue what Daniel was talking about.
"Sir, Jimmy needs to go to the toilet," says Daniel out loud.
"What? No I don't. Where'd you get that idea from?" asks Jimmy.
"Didn't you just say you needed to p-i-s-s?" asks Daniel.
"No, I said this was pissing me…" Jimmy says, but was interrupted.
"Oh, I see. Present tense. I missed that. The music made it hard to hear," says Daniel, "Sir, Jimmy's wet his pants."
"WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT?" Jimmy roars.
"Now now Jimmy, no need to be embarrassed. These things happen when we're nervous," Captain Dirk says, "I'll let you go and clean yourself up, but hurry back okay, we have a lot to get through still. Daniel, you can go and help him."
"YES SIR!" says Daniel, saluting. He grabs Jimmy's hands and drags him away from the briefing room.
Outside, a flaming starship crashes into another ship, splitting it in half. The cries of "BURN!" are the last thing the victims hear. The flaming starship continues on its course.
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Journal Entry of Daniel K. Jones:
04/08/2567
I'm sure Jimmy really appreciates the help that Captain Dirk (he who is great) is giving him. Jimmy does seem to be the most nervous out of all of us, but he'll be fine. I'll be there to look after him. He is my bestest buddy in the whole universe after all.
Journal Entry of James L. Davies:
04/08/2567
Why couldn't I be born with psychic powers? Then I could be a ghost. I'm sure ghosts don't have to go through things like this. I want to be a ghost…
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"Hey guys, watch this," says Mark the Ghost. The other ghosts all turn to look at him.
"Now you see me," he says, then turns on his cloaking device, "Now you don't." He turns it off again. "Now you see me," he turns it on, "Now you don't," He turns it off, "Now you see me," he turns it on, "Now you don't." he turns it off, "Now you see…"
His sentence is interrupted by a shotgun blast. Mark the Ghost drops to the floor, dead. Sergeant Kilcrazy kicks at the dead body.
"Well, he didn't see that coming…" says Lyle the Ghost. Kilcrazy stares at him for a few moments, then bursts out into laughter.
"Didn't see that coming, HAHAHA. That's hilarious. BWAHAHAHAHA. Oh, you're a comedian soldier," laughs Kilcrazy.
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Jimmy's day continued pretty much how it started. He had to change his pants five more times throughout the day. By the end of the bonding session, he didn't think things could get any worse. He was wrong.
"Alrighty boys and girls, you did excellent today, excellent. Super duper fine," says Captain Dirk, "Now, to make sure you and your buddy are in perfect synchronization tomorrow, I want you to spend the night together. Sleep well soldiers, and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."
Jimmy swore under his breath.
"Sir, Jimmy pooed his pants," says Daniel.
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Journal Entry of Daniel K. Jones:
04/08/2567
Jimmy is so lucky I'm his friend. He would've had very messy pants today if I hadn't spoken up all those times. He's too embarrassed to say anything to the super wonderful Captain Dirk himself. It's a good thing we have to spend the night together. I'll look after him well.
Journal Entry of James L. Davies:
04/08/2567
This is just a dream, this is just a dream. I'll open my eyes, and I'll be safe in my own home. Darnit, the idiot is still next to me. This is just a dream, this is just a dream, this is just a dream…
