NOTE: OK. I'm reposting this chapter. Beta'd and better. The differences are very minor. All previous author notes apply.

Big "thank you": to BalthierFlare, who beta'd this chapter. THANK YOU Bal-chan!

to AccessDeniedZORS, for pointing out my mistakes (coughbuggedMSwordcough)

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X. It belongs to SquareEnix.

A/N: Hee-ho! I'm back! A new death awaits our beloved (sarcasm) Seymour. Aaand the lucky guy… erm… girl who's going to kill him is… Rikku! Enjoy!

Oh, and let me know if you think that opening scenes are too long.


2. Rikku the Full Metal Alchemist… NOT!

The Macalania forest was as peaceful as ever. Not a fiend was stirring, not a sound could be heard. Yuna and her guardians were sleeping. Well, not all of them: two people were awake. One didn't sleep because he didn't need it, the other- obviously plotting something.

"Hmm… a few dark matters… a pair of shining gems… one half of a mega-phoenix…" The second person was mixing something in a pot when…

"Rikku, what are you doing?"

"Eek!" A few phials flew from her hands, but she caught them in mid-air, "Auron! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"You didn't answer my question…"

"Well… I think I found a way to keep that undead freak Seymour away from us… Um… actually it involves killing him for good, but that's not the point. Look!" She handed Auron a large leather-covered book, "It's a book on alchemy! Cool, huh?"

"And what exactly are you intending to use against him?" The samurai tried to push away the book that was literally pushed in his face. Rikku opened a bookmarked page. It contained the following:

Unsent are bound to this world by the energy of the planet. If someone were to cut off that flow, the unsent target would instantly vanish from this world. The best way to do this is by making an alchemic glyph (see diagram 22/4b) out of certain materials that will break that flow after the target steps onto it. For ingredients see section 77d. Warning: A side effe…

Rikku shut the book with a loud thud.

"OK! No time to waste! I made all the necessary preparations. And now all that's left: Operation Lure Seymour into the Forest!" Suddenly her face turned into a frown "To do that I need to go to Bevelle, BUT I need someone who knows the city…" Her gaze turned to Auron.

"Fine…"

"Woo-hoo! Let's go!" The Al-Bhed princess dashed off towards Bevelle grabbing the mystery pot and dragging Auron along with her. The alchemy book was left lying on the ground. A small breeze flipped the pages and stopped at the bookmark…

Warning: a side effect could occur if there is another unsent nearby during the time when the glyph is activated. The release of planetary energy will be redirected at that person. Numerous experiments show that after being processed by the glyph, the energy can fully restore the soul and body an unsent. The age of the newly restored body equals (current age)/2…

The next day. Bevelle.

It was a beautiful morning in Bevelle. Seymour was at home, still in his pajamas (with a chocobo pattern) lying on the guestroom couch. He was planning to stay at home for the whole day and relax.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Hm? Who could that be?" Seymour got up and went to open the front door. By the time he reached it the person was gone. The half-Guado looked around just to be sure (and to launch an Ultima, if this was just a prank). The street was empty. Just when he was about to close the door, some object on the doorstep caught his eye. "Oh. My. Yevon! It-it-it's the newest 'Mk. III Extra-Lift' hair-gel from Oriaqua!"

Yes, the mystery object was indeed a bottle of hair-gel. It was a well known fact: Seymour was crazy about hair-products. Just then the Maester noticed another bottle further down the path leading away from his home. Without a second thought he rushed to get it. Again, there was another one some distance away. And so the game of "follow the path of hair-gel" began…

Somewhere behind a nearby corner…

"I can't believe he fell for it…"

"I'm kinda surprised myself… Anyway, our job here is done!"

"Yes. Let's go return to camp"

"Not so fast! We have to make sure that everything goes as planned! Heh heh heh!" A groan sounded in response.

Back with Seymour.

An unusual sight could be seen in Bevelle that day: Seymour, Maester of Yevon, was walking along the streets in his pajamas while carrying a large pile of hair-products that was towering over his head and tipping dangerously. The improvised trail led him out of his home, down the main street of his block, through an alley, along the seaside, across the marketplace, around the temple and towards the highbridge. People were staring at him, pointing, snickering (nobody dared to laugh out loud, unless they wanted to be zapped by a few nasty spells) and generally having fun.

"Ta-ta-ta-da, what a lucky day!" Seymour was singing in a very out-of-character way, ignoring the witty comments and whispers. Although the mountain of bottles was blocking his view, he could follow the trail without looking, almost like a mosquito after blood. Now Seymour was pacing through the crystal forest of Macalania; colleting bottles and zapping fiends that were in his way.

He stepped into a clearing where the last bottle was located. Ha walked towards it. Suddenly an alchemic circle flashed under his feet. Rays of light blasted from the ground, creating a type of cage around Seymour, lifting him into the air.

"AAAARGH!" The incantation was causing a lot of pain. Seymour felt like his insides were burning and melting. The light disappeared, leaving a very furious Guado on the ground. "Whoever did this will pay dea…. WHAAAA?" Zing! Seymour's arms burst into pyreflies. ZING! ZING! Other parts of his body were dissolving into numerous lights. A loud scream erupted from the Maester's throat.

That was the last sound the world would hear from him. The only thing left marking Seymour's presence in the forest was a large pile of hair-products.