I spent much of the weekend helping Spencer dig up dirt on her dad, going to the gym, volunteering at the YMCA and doing anything to avoid being at Hanna's alone. I couldn't even look at her mother every conversation seemed to turn into a potential mine field for sexual innuendo. Hanna tried to assure me that I was overreacting and I wanted to believe her. But, when she called me up to her room and asked me to unzip her dress I knew I couldn't deal. It didn't matter if she was actually toying with me or I was just projecting my own paranoia, Ashley Marin is a serious MILF. She swooped her hair over her shoulder exposing the nape of her neck. My efforts to get a hold of her zipper proved fruitless as my hands were far too sweaty and shaky, A fact which Ms. Marin quickly picked up on.

"That, zipper can be a little tricky." She said while reaching behind and grabbing my free hand "why don't you grab hold of my waist and see if that helps."

Really Ashley Marin? Really? In what sideways reality would my hands around her waist help with anything? She's got legs for days and curves that could kill and on top of all that she smells deliciously, none of which is helpful when you're trying to help said delicious smelling woman step out of her clothing. Naturally, I had to leave after that. Like I said, paranoid or not a girl can only take so much.

###

I decided to spend my Sunday shopping and attempting to do normal teenage things. It seemed like a nice enough day. The sun was out and birds were singing; I'd just gotten the Toyota detailed so it stood out beautifully every time I looked at it, almost as if I were being paid to drive it around. Stopped by a record store and picked up some new music then sat back in my car and tuned out for a while. I was completely zoned out watching a squirrel that was sprinting up and down the trunk of a tree in front of me. I felt bad about avoiding Hanna, but I really needed the time to relax and get my head together. After about a half hour of Florence & the Machine I decide it's time to head back. I put the key in and tried to start the car but it wouldn't go. All I got was that irritating cranking noise that sounds like someone with a bad cough. On about the third try my phone lit up with a new text message and I felt the sudden urge to ump out of my car and run as far away as possible. Pulling out my phone as I reached the mall entrance, I read the following.

Uh-oh , look who needs servicing. Bet you know who to call for a tune up –A

Seconds later, as I coward pathetically behind a bench waiting to see if my car would explode like in The Pelican Brief, someone startled me with a tap on the shoulder.

"Who are we hiding from?" Ms. Marin whispered from behind me causing me to yelp and jump a little in quiet panic. She was in what I could only assume were her work clothes; her terribly distracting inappropriately sexy work clothes. A sheer blouse clung to her torso with just enough plunge at the neck to spark curiosity and she tied it with a pair of fitted black slacks that hugged her rear just right.

"Uh um, no one, I was just being…never mind. How'd you know where I was?" I ask stand straight up in an attempt to look a little less ridiculous.

She looked at me incredulously then showed me a text message she'd received from my number.

"You texted me in the middle of a meeting saying you were having car trouble at the mall."

I clearly had done no such thing, this was another sick game A was trying to play on me. But, explaining that to her would require explaining A to her, and there simply wasn't enough time in the day for that.

"Oh, sorry I didn't mean to take you out of work."

Ashley motioned for us to both sit down together. She sort of slumped into the bench as she sat reposing in exhaustion . It was slightly inviting, not that I was noticing.

"Don't worry about it, it was just the weekly office meeting and everyone tries to get out of it. I'm ust happy I had a legitimate reason this time."

She told me she'd called her car service to come and pick up my car and until then we could head into the mall for lunch. I couldn't help it every time the thought of food came up I either freaked out about hormones or got scared someone would ask if I like eating tacos.

"Is it alright if we just sit out here, I think I need the fresh air."

Ms. Marin reached over and brushed a lock of hair away from my face. I must have flinched or something though because she quickly pulled her hand away.

"Hey, am I making you uncomfortable?" she asked, her voice full of seriousness.

"I guess I'm just a bit jumpy lately. You know with everything that's happened." I try to explain and she seems to understand.

"You girls have been through a lot lately; I can't say I blame you. Just know that I want you to feel comfortable, especially with your parents gone. I'm not exactly Suzy Homemaker, but my door is always open for you."

Something about the conversation felt very sincere and I had settled in my mind that Ms. Marin was earnestly trying to be helpful and that most of those encounters were just happy accidents. Some people are just naturally flirty and they don't even know they're doing it; or at least that's what Spencer tells me.

She was about to say something else when the tow truck arrived. Out stepped this amazingly attractive woman in a form fitted jumper with the name Lexie stitched into the upper right pocket. I watched as Ms. Marin walked over, or more accurately strutted over, to introduce herself. She even did that whole trick of pretending she couldn't read the name tag just so she could get a little closer. Lexie popped the hood and inspected the engine, as she did this Ms. Marin walked right up behind her pretending to want a look at the engine too. The only thing she was inspecting really, was Lexie's caboose.

Lexie shut the hood and they talked for a bit, but in hushed tones so I wasn't sure what was being said. Occasionally they would glance from the car to me both smiling as if agreeing upon some secret. Walking around the car to where I was, Lexie finally spoke.

It looks like someone tried to hotwire your car. We're going to have to tow it in and wait for the part to fix it." She explained.

"Okay, well how long does something like that take?" I ask hoping not to be without my car for too long

"We should have it in two weeks, maybe three."She answered shrugging her shoulders to indicate that she was sorry in advance.

"Well Em, in the mean time Hanna and I can take you around." Ashley offered, though it did little to assuage my frustration.

###

When we got back to the house Hanna, Spencer and Aria were sitting in the living room hovering over Spencer's computer. Without missing a beat Hanna's mom ran off to her office and made some excuse about needing to download files.

"Have you calmed down yet?" Hanna asked while dragging me over to the living room. "Or do you still think my mom is pulling a Mrs. Robinson?"

"I think your mom is the captain of the unintentional flirting team and her and Angelina Jolie just tied for best eye sex."

Hanna rolled her eyes and flopped down on the couch, then they all looked up at me wide eyed as if my cat died and they were afraid to tell me.

"Guys what's going on? Is it bad?" I finally demand.

Aria scrunches her face, pauses then answers "that depends on your definition of bad."

"So it could be good?" I reason

Which earns the following reply from Aria "That depends on your definition of good."

Finally I ask what has turned out to be a very important question lately "Does it involve A?"

And without hesitation Aria perks up with "that depends on your definition of A?"

"Really Aria? Who are you freaking Bill Clinton today?" Spencer huffed.

Hanna took the opportunity to grab Spencer's computer away and turn it towards me.

"Would you two quiet down so we can show her the video already." Hanna quipped.

It started out slow and grainy and I could barely tell what was going on, but then it came into focus and I could see Spencer's dad sitting in Alison's room pacing back and forth then asking whoever was holding the camera if they heard someone outside. He walks toward the bed, but then the video cuts off and a ticker rolls across the screen with a message from A.

It's tit for twat bitches, Spencer gets the rest of the video when Emily delivers the goods.

—A—

They all looked over to me, trying to judge what my reaction was. Everything was coming at me from all different directions and I was finally coming to the realization that the ridiculousness would never end. My life had officially been usurped by a text happy nut job lacking even the smallest crumb of common decency and vain enough to bestow themselves with a moniker no longer that the first letter of the English alphabet.

"I can't I just can't right now!" I declare.

"Okay, I know it's a little awkward but you said yourself there were still too many unanswered questions." Spencer reasoned.

A little awkward would be walking in on someone on the toilet, a little awkward is getting caught eating someone else's leftovers. This was a horse of an entirely different color.

"Spencer I think you were the one telling me to let it go then, why the sudden change of heart?" I can feel the veins pulsing in my neck as I speak.

"It's my dad Em." Spencer pleaded.

Hanna rubbed my shoulder in an attempt to calm me down.

"I know we agreed to go all fight club and not talk about it, but come on you said yourself my mom isn't interested in you. She's as straight as they come so…"

"First of all" I announce cutting Hanna off mid thought. "I never said your mom was straight, in fact I'm pretty sure she's a switch hitter. Secondly despite appearances to the contrary, I do actually have hormones."

They all paused for a minute and thought about what I had just said. Then Aria in a fit of brilliance decided to speak her thoughts aloud.

"Wait, what are you saying?" she yelp in perpetual confusion.

"I can only pretend to flirt with someone for so long before that shit starts getting real" I confess earning an elongated "ewe" from all three of them.

With that Spencer grabbed her computer and stormed off with Aria following close behind. I can't believe it had come to this. Since when had asking me to whore myself out ever seemed like a perfectly acceptable logical thing to do?

Hanna had been eying me from the corner of the room apologetically. I knew she was embarrassed.

"Look, whatever you decide we'll figure it out. No matter what I'll back you up. And sorry for treating you like a…"

"whore house madam?" I offer.

"Yeah that." Hanna agrees.

I went to bed that night convinced that this would be the end of it, consequences be damned. I should have known how naïve it was to think that I was actually in control of anything at this point.