lmao


"Beautiful!"

"You put any cute kitten to shame!"

"You're almost as gorgeous as me!...well, not even close, but you know what I mean!"

"I'm surprised we are not related with that kind of beauty!"

Here at Hanmart, everyone is beautiful. Especially if you stumble into the Make-up Department. Not so long ago, there were only shelves with cosmetics. But that changed when the idea of having 'self-made' professionals was brought about. With these everyday folks doing their make-up instead of esteemed celebrity stylists, the customers will be more at ease and will more than likely return; whether if it's to get more tips or just to get a free makeover. But of course, the big guys aren't really in control of the poor judgement the smaller guys have when it comes to hiring employees...

"Oh, that despicable commoner! Did she really think she could have my flawless, porcelain skin?!"

"Hmmhm, maybe if she actually glued porcelain to that thing she called a face!"

"Byahahaha!"

"I wouldn't dare step out the house if I had that unsightly blemish!"

"Did you see those eyes!? They were so big and her mouth jutted out like that of a shrimp! Maybe she's related to the one over there!"

Xiao Qiao could hear the obnoxious guffaws of Zhen Ji and Zhang He from their station. It was daily occurrence with these two. Her and Da Qiao knew that they were either cackling about them or a customer.

*sigh* What's it about this time!? Don't they ever close their mouths?! Oh wait! Maybe they're just looking past me! Did I miss something?

"Hey sis, what I miss?! Did someone test the wet floors again? Heehee! They put a sign there for a reason~!"

Da Qiao exhaled deeply and shook her head. "Xiao, you were the last person to test the wet floors, with the sign being present.."

"Ooooh but it could've been lying...!" Xiao Qiao pulled a hurt puppy face and sat with her head in her hands.

"Oh looook! The shrimp must be hungry! Give it some space to filter feed! Hohohahahaha!"

"Ji, I don't think shrimp filter-OOMPFH!"

"Just shut up and laugh!"

"Bwahahahahaha!"

Zhang He and Zhen Ji laughed in unison as the terrible joke fell upon the two Qiao's ears.

"Ugh! I'm so sick of those two!" Xiao Qiao said as she stood with balled fists. Da Qiao nodded in agreement and countered back.

"Hey Xiao, look! You think we should get help? Those two look as if they're choking on all of that powder they have caked on their faces!"

"Are you sure, Da? I think it's that clumpy mascara getting into their small, not very pretty, icky, and undefined eyes and they're crying over how worthless they are!...and..and how they could never be as talented as us!"

As big of a mouthful that was, Zhen Ji only caught the major parts, or perhaps, the most significant parts of the insult.

"How dare you!? Darling, I use Cover Girl. This shit does not clump!"

"And we have-"

"And I have so much more talent than you two bumpkins combined!"

Zhang He couldn't really have an input, but he did make sure to roll his neck and snap his fingers in such a way that they formed a Z in order to give Zhen Ji some support.

Da Qiao scoffed. "Ha! That explains why you've had fewer customers than us, right? Me and Xiao could easily take you two hoochie mamas down! Heh, we could use the extra space, couldn't we Xiao?"

"Right!"

Zhang He, looking rather amused, announced, "Is that a challenge? Gahahahyahya fine!" With a flick of his pony tail and some switching of his behind, he made his way to the Qiao's station with Zhen Ji in tow and the two teams sized each other up.

Up close and personal.

Zhen Ji stared Da Qiao down while Xiao Qiao held her own with Zhang He.

"Hey Zhen Ji, you have something on your face, oh wait! It must be the shit you eat along with the Cow Pee!" Da Qiao initiated the verbal altercation.

Zhen Ji, utterly appalled that someone would insult her beauty mark, had her eyes and mouth wide with astonishment and was speechless. Zhang He was not going to let them sink just yet, he had to pull one for the team!

"Look Xiao Qiao! The wet floor sign is out again! It's time for to do another disgraceful daahnce, isn't it? Fufufufu!"

Xiao Qiao was steaming in embarrassment and couldn't think of anything to retort back with. A venomous grin replaced the once gaping mouth of Zhen Ji as she began her 'turn'.

"You know, Da Qiao, i don't think you really have much room to talk.." Zhen Ji began to pace around Da Qiao, easily making her feel uneasy and a little on edge. While Zhen Ji was distracting Da Qiao with her movements, she was discreetly making her way closer to the Qiao's desk where there was still open product out.

"I can see every single pore on that hideous face you flaunt around with.."

Da Qiao, who had been tracking Zhen Ji's every move, is totally caught off guard with what happens next.

"But I can easily fix that for you!"

Zhen Ji snatches a tub full of powder and smashes it into Da Qiao's face, creating a huge and thick dust storm of foundation. Taking advantage of the obscure haze like cartoon characters, the four pounced on each other; there was hair yanking, hands and legs going in and out of the cloud, unintelligible insults, and stars and mini tornadoes wisping out every now and then.

The tan powder began to settle on five exhausted bodies as the fighting ceased. Someone's shoe found its way under a chair, while several hair clips were strewn all over the place. Amongst some broken nails and jewelry was a bottle of Pepsi, a king-sized Snickers, and a sandwich that was beyond repair with its newly dusted coloring.

With his legs entwined in the heap of devastated divas, an unlucky employee found himself awkwardly propped up against the make-up station and a bit disoriented.

This wasn't in the fucking job description, maaaan.

Being the only manager-on-duty and hearing yet another ruckus, Manager Sun Quan meandered through several departments until he reached the source of the disturbance. Manager Quan began shaking his head at the sight.

This lazy ass buffoon strikes again! AGAIN!

"Ling Tong! What the hell did you do to these ladies!.."

A closer look at the heap revealed that one of them was too..big? Too muscular? Had a frikken' package? Manager Quan corrected himself.

"..and gentlemen..What the hell did you do to these ladies and gentlemen?! You're always fucking shit up!...uh, I mean (yet another correction) this place is a mess! I thought I sent you to lunch, not to start a fucking harem! My office! NOW!"

"Whoa whoa whoa WHOA! It's not what it looks like! At all! I-I had just grabbed lunch a-and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and-"

"NOOOOW!"

Ling Tong closed his eyes and reclined his head.

If only sweet death would stop taking its time.


A/N: I already have like, 6 chapters of this, so if you have a hankering for more,
trust me,
there's more.

I love my dorko Wu boys, so you'll be seeing a quite a bit of them.

P.S.
Why isn't Sun Ce running the Front End instead of Sun Quan, you ask? Reread again and I hope that answers your question, hehehe =u=