This is Rachel's POV on things before the fight. I'm going to alternate between Quinn and Rachel and possibly at times combine the two. It's not fluffy by any means, you've been warned. This story is taking the turn of abuse being added so if that's a trigger for people, please don't read. This chapter isn't going to be that heavy with it, but potentially later chapters will get more in depth.
I do not own Glee or any of the characters in it. Only thing I own is this storyline and I'm damn proud of it.
Rachel couldn't believe she had unloaded on Finn like that. The man was a constant pain in the ass, but no one deserved that, not even that asshole. Leroy broke the silence first.
"What happened Rachel? Not that I'm complaining about having you here, but honestly you love Quinn as much as I loved your father. You fought for that woman and then some. So what happened?
Rachel couldn't think, everything was falling apart and she hated it. She was supposed to be performing tonight, instead for the first time ever her understudy had to fill in. Her dad was right, she love Quinn, so what had happened? It wasn't undeniable that it sucked being away from Quinn as much as she was. Maybe it was jealousy that Finn got to spend more time with the blonde. She needed to sit down so she made her way over to the couch and sat. It was more than the jealousy; it was hatred that this man was allowed back in after everything that had happened that she had just let him back into her life, by extension her wife's life as well.
"Dad… I don't want this to be like it is. I stormed out of our apartment because of another stupid fight to do with Finn being around her all the time when I can't be. I can't be with her all the time like he is because I followed my dream and now all I see is the dream of her and me fading. I don't want to hurt her anymore, I love her too much."
It was too much to take for the diva and the tears started to fall on her face. All her father could do was sit down beside her and hold his daughter until she cried herself out. It had all started out rocky as hell with Quinn and now it seemed as if it was going to end much the same way. Rachel had gone through bad relationships, one after the other until her last one had just screamed to get whoever as in her heart out of it or be with that person.
It hadn't been hard to locate the ex-HBIC as she hadn't left Lima and Rachel hadn't lost touch with Brittney (much to Santana's dislike). Rachel knew there was very little chance of Quinn being open to any of her advances after telling her to go to hell the last time they had talked. She tried the obvious approach, Brittney. The cheerleader gave Quinn and Rachel the others e-mail address with the instructions to be daring before it's too late. Rachel had been the one to e-mail and then it was all a waiting game. It had been about 6 months since the first attempt to e-mail, but one night an e-mail came through from Quinn. It was, complex to say the least, and Rachel didn't know what to make of it.
Rachel,
I'm sorry for not answering sooner. Seeing your e-mail just caught me off guard when I saw it in my inbox. When Brittney gave me your e-mail address I thought she was joking but then she gave me the serious face she always does when she's not joking around about something. The next week your e-mail was in the inbox, though I'm not sure what Brittney or you expect to happen from this communication. When we last saw each other I thought I made it quite clear that there was no intention on being any part of your life ever again, but that said I'm glad you e-mailed me. We didn't have a great friendship in high school and I was taken back when you declared your love for me. You have to understand that I turned you down because I can't live like that, couldn't then, and still can't, no matter how much I want to. I'll e-mail later on but I have to go pick up Brittney for lunch with Santana.
Quinn
Rachel had been so happy to get the e-mail she didn't care who saw her smiling at the screen of her phone. The only reason she stopped reading the e-mail over and over again was to answer the incoming call from Brittney.
"Have you checked your e-mail today Rachel? I think there may be a pleasant surprise waiting for you."
"Yes I've checked my e-mail. Thank you so much for getting her to message me Britt! This absolutely made my day."
"You should know Quinn has been smiling whenever I say your name, or anyone for that matter. She tries to hide it but she's never been good at that. Santana told me to stay out of everything but I really want you both happy."
"Thank you Britt, really I don't think I could contain myself if I was there right now but it works that I'm in NY. Otherwise I'm sure that Santana would be beating me up for hugging you."
There was a pause on the other end and Rachel thought maybe Santana was listening to their conversation. Rachel was sure that even if Santana was she wouldn't come all the way to NY just to beat her up… would she? Then Brittney spoke.
"Rachel if I tell you something you can't be upset. You have to promise you won't be upset."
Rachel's heart stopped, she was so happy and whatever the blonde cheerleader was going to tell her she knew it couldn't be good.
"What is it?"
There was another pause as the diva heard Brittney take a deep breath; this really couldn't be anything good.
"Quinn and Finn announced the date of their wedding. It's in 8 months."
Rachel didn't say anything; she couldn't get the words forming in her head to make it to her lips.
"Rachel are you still there? Rachel I'm sorry, I had to tell you. But if this thing happens I'm taking you with me. Santana already agreed, and you know that's not an easy thing for her to do. Please say something Rachel so I know you're still alive."
"Yeah Brittney I'm still here, physically anyway."
Rachel's heart had stopped she was sure of it but she was still breathing. What she had heard from Brittney's conversations about Quinn and Finn, the two weren't on nearly the best of terms. It was widely thought that the engagement was just a joke in itself, another attempt to portray the perfect image the two sought, not something to be taken serious in any capacity. From what Brittney got out of Santana after getting late night calls from Quinn which resulted in her running off panicked, there were signs of abuse. When Rachel heard of these rumors every part of her wanted to get on the next flight and kick the crap out of Finn. It definitely didn't make any sense to Rachel why Quinn would let alone stay with Finn, much less marry the man. Quinn deserved better, much better, and Rachel now had 8 months to prove she was worthy to be with Quinn.
"Brittney, I'm going to try and get her to be mine. If I fail, which I won't, then at least she'll marry Finn knowing someone could've been better for her, someone loved her more than that man child."
"One problem Rachel, you're in NY and Quinn's in Ohio. How the heck are you going to pull that off? The distance aside, you just got back on speaking terms with her, not even fully yet. I'm rooting for you, but there's only so much I can help with."
Brittney was right, what the heck was she going to do. She was stuck in NY for the foreseeable future. A place she'd always wanted to be, but now without doubt the person she wanted to be with was in Ohio.
"Well for starters I'll have to work on the 'just on speaking terms' and be on 'friends terms' pretty damn fast. Although to be honest, that's never been a strong point so beyond e-mailing the hell out of her I haven't a clue what to do."
"I'll poke around and see if there's any chance. But Rachel I really wasn't kidding when I said she really has been smiling whenever anyone says your name. I've got to go. I'll try to call later but Santana is due home soon and dinner isn't even ordered."
The diva thought back on these 8 months and how everything had changed so fast, with Brittney's help, a hell of a lot of her help. They had both fought for each other, but in the end Quinn telling Finn she wanted to move to NY before the wedding but still have the wedding in Ohio had been the turning point. Rachel had gambled everything putting her heart on the line and it had paid off. No one could have guessed that they would have found themselves in this situation, least of all Rachel.
No one had ever gotten Rachel as angry and worked up as Finn managed to do when it came to Quinn. It was always a competition for Quinn's heart and even if you were lucky enough to capture its attention, you were always slightly on guard someone else could steal her away from you. It hadn't been long into their relationship that Quinn confirmed that Finn had been abusive both physically and mentally. He had made her believe that no one could love her like he did, but Rachel had fought for the girl, someone else had loved her more than Finn did. That act had saved Quinn, more than anything else in the world did, the simple act of knowing someone else loved her enough to give up everything for her kick started the old, strong Quinn from high school. Despite that though, the damage had been done and Quinn still showed the scars from time to time when she wouldn't be anywhere to be found and Rachel would have to look for her. It was those times of finding the ex-cheerleader hiding in the shower curled in a ball that broke Rachel's heart. She didn't know how to help her lover, but she was damned sure that she wasn't going to let her get hurt again. So when Quinn came home late one night in tears Rachel was more than concerned. The diva was beside herself with rage when Quinn told her that she'd run into Finn and the two had gone for drinks. Why was she letting herself be around this man again, things were good, they didn't need him, and Quinn didn't need him. In Rachel's mind, once an abuser always an abuser and for that reason alone she didn't want Finn in their lived in any capacity. This pattern of late night drinks kept happening for a month before Rachel had taken all she could and lost her cool with Quinn in a shouting match. Quinn had run to the bathroom and locked the door so fast that Rachel was left wondering how she moved so fast. Immediately she knew she had handled it wrong and went to the door to try and coax her lover out of the bathroom. It hadn't worked and Rachel had to disassemble the door off its hinges. From then on Rachel had never raised her voice when they had fights, until tonight. She knew she was on the verge of losing her wife and that was why she had just taken off. She didn't want to be Finn, every part of her wanted to be nothing like the man, but it was no longer denying that she too had fallen into that abusive pattern, she hated herself for it. Despite the outwardly appearance that they were happy together, their home life was something of a shamble and Rachel hated it, hated being anything like Finn.
Rachel didn't want to think on this anymore, she just wanted the old cheerful Quinn back. The Quinn that had moved into the tiny apartment with Tina and her, that had water gun fights to the point that all their clothes were soaked for days, that went out and got the cutest little things to put around the apartment, the happy Quinn. If Rachel was really honest with herself she wanted the fairytale before Finn came back, before her father was killed in the line of duty. The diva feared between Finn's abuse and now hers that Quinn was lost, as well as herself. She had no idea how to get either of them back.
