II. Round One
Hermione fussed about her IPod as a really nasty song blared through her earphones during breakfast Saturday morning. The song, as she had programmed her IPod, reflected how she felt that morning.
'Somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep, disorder. Disorder. Disorder.'
She's having a terrible morning. She barely slept a wink the night before, wracking her brains for ideas to get Zabini smitten. The more ideas she entertained, the worse she felt. Giving up trying to get an eye shut, she went down to the Great Hall early. Yet, her queasy stomach could barely digest anything that she ended up playing with her food. Worse, her nose feels itchy.
Great. The hex is taking effect, I barely even started.
She continued toying with her omelette. Ugh, what a year this is. She spent the summer taking a home study program where she learned to tinker with muggle contraptions to 'acclimatise' them for the magic world, the reason she brought her Ipod with her to Hogwarts. Had she known she'd be doing something like this in the first quarter of the school year, she should've taken another course, say "How to be a Delisciously Convincing Female" or "A Crash Course on Whoring Yourself" or better yet, "How to Lose Your Dignity and Self Respect in Ten Days". This dare had overthrown "Head Girl Parkinson Announcement" from her list of "Piss Offs of the Year".
And, who knows, I just might top it off with the Spin-the-Bottle hex if I don't succeed.
Great.
She looked up at the Slytherin table. She watched as the allegedly 'universally handsome' Blaise Zabini sit beautifully, having his breakfast while a couple of girls drool.
What did they ever see in him, good looks? Ugh, I wouldn't even touch his astringent-soaked face with a 10-ft pole!
Personally, if you ask me, he's not the Slytherin I'm pining for.
While most girls were throwing their knickers at Zabini, she, Hermione Granger, is saving her underwear for a certain blond guy.
She recalled that night when Parvati gushed her praises for Draco Malfoy.
"It wasn't the size of the ship, Hermione! It was the wave of the ocean! Though, 'his' size wasn't bad."
Clever as she is, she got it. And it didn't help her Draco-hungry hormones.
Suddenly, her IPod sounded out something like a siren. Then a muggle pop song played.
At that exact moment, the Head Boy walked in the Great Hall.
He was fussing about his robes that he had taken them off right there in the middle of the hall. His usually impeccable uniform looked like they've been slept in and he seems to be battling a bad case of bed hair. His eyes looked puffy from lack of sleep.
Yet, quite a handful of female heads turned to his direction.
How does that song go again?
"How come everytime you come around
My London, London Bridge wanna go down
(Like) London, London, London wanna go down
(Like) London, London, London, we goin' down like…"
How cute. Just the mere sight of him is enough to reduce me to some sexually- charged teenager. How warm- blooded could I be?
"Done drooling over me, Granger?" Pulling out her earphones, Draco Malfoy looked down at her.
Startled, she snatched her earphones from Draco's hands and shoved her IPod in her robe's pockets.
Damn Hormones! Think, Hermione! Think!
"Sorry, Malfoy, I wasn't drooling over you. I just chanced upon seeing you waltzing in the Hall in your sleep-deprived ensemble when a very deep thought came to me."
Draco took a seat across her and gave her a head-spinning devious smile. "Let me guess. It just occurred to you that your hormones are practically screaming for me?"
Hermione crossed her arms over the table and leaned forward. "Close enough. My hormones were screaming something like 'when the specie start producing organisms like that, then its time to chlorinate the gene pool'."
Draco leaned forward, his nose inches from hers. "Clever, Granger. I'm quite amused with your little joke."
"Oh, the biggest joke is sitting there at the Slytherin table." Hermione whispered, nodding at Blaise's direction.
"Hey," Draco feigned hurt. "That's my friend you're trashing."
"Whatever," Hermione muttered as she continued to play with her food.
"A little birdie told me about a dare due in ten days."
Hermione dropped her fork and glared at Draco. "Parkinson told you?"
Draco grabbed Hermione's goblet and took a gulp. "Well, Pansy and I had a small celebration last night. You know, receiving our badges, catching up on each other's social calendar. She can be quite a chatterbox when she's drunk."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "How inspiring it is to hear that the Head Students are quite the figures to emulate." She eyeballed him. "You're not going to tell Zabini, are you?"
"Of course not!" He grinned at her. "I'm here to help you."
Hermioen laughed dryly. "That's a bloody hangover you have there, Malfoy. First you sat in the Gryffindor table. Second, you're getting all chummy with me. Third, you offered to help scheme against your best friend. You Slytherins sure are funny people."
Draco wagged a finger at her. "Tsk, tsk, Granger, Granger. I've done more than just 'sitting' on the Gryffindor table before (Hermione cringed.) Second, I'm not getting chummy with you, they're called diplomacy. Lastly, I offered help because I'd be doing myself a favor if you succeeded." At Hermione's furrowed eyebrows, he whispered huskily, "It would mean one less competitor with Pansy."
"Oh." Hermione's thoughts were swirling. It's her! It's HER! Why does it have to be HER?
The "Head Girl" news has just been dethroned. It was abruptly replaced with the "Malfoy –offered-help-so-I-can-help-him-with-Parkinson" surprise.
That makes two reasons to murder the Head Girl!
"…the fact that I," Draco continued. "..know more about Blaise than anybody else. Capitalize on that and you'll win the dare."
And I'll win my bet, he thought evilly.
"Say, how long a stay in Azkaban for murdering the Head Student?" Hermione blurted out, her thoughts still on the new "Piss-Off of the Year".
"Excuse me?" Draco asked.
"Nothing." Hermione stood up and turned to leave. "Thanks for your surprising show of altruism but I'd rather deal with this on my own." She left hurriedly, not wanting him to see how, of all times, her bloody eyes just got bloody misty.
The blond Slytherin's gaze followed Hermione's form as ran for the Great Hall's exit. Phase one has officially started.
Amidst the chattering of the students down for breakfast, two amusement-glistened pairs of eyes darted to and from Hermione and Draco. One-zero to Malfoy.
oOo
Hermione incinerated her fifth parchment of essay with a loud groan. The chaotic state of her emotions has been steadily manifesting in her assignment that the last one she did was peppered with much angst to shame Severus Snape. Giving up, she settled herself in a cozy chair and wore her IPod. Unfortunately, the world seemed to conspire against her.
"Everything's so blurry and everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty and everything is so messed up.
Preoccupied without you, I cannot live at all.
My whole world surrounds you, I stumble then I crawl…"
Shit. Next. She pressed the 'next' key.
"How could an angel break my heart?
Why didn't he catch my falling star?"
Fuck. Next.
"I can't fight this feeling any longer.
And yet I'm still afraid to let it show."
What the hell-? Next.
"But you don't even know I'm alive.
Baby, to you all I am is the invisible.."
FUCK!!! Next. Next. Next.
"I hate my world today…"
"I just wanna feel real love…"
"…and solitaire's the only game in town…"
AARGGHHH!!!
She took off the IPod and threw it on the other sofa. She glared at it angrily, hating herself for programming it to reflect her emotions. Smartest witch, my ass! You've just added another entity to ridicule you!
Malfoy likes Parkinson, so what? Hermione thought derisively. I just have to win Zabini over and it'd be fair…somehow…
Malfoy and I would be at equal footing by then. Then, I'll strike back! I'll make him jealous with Zabini.
Or better yet, I'll seduce him while I 'pretend' to seduce Zabini!
Whoa, Hermione. A small voice said. What about decency? Propriety?
Screw decency! This is the new millennium! I'm a modern femme! I go after what I want. I want a piece of Malfoy's ass, I'll go get some!
She stood up, eyed her surroundings menacingly (a/n picture a fish-bowl-camera-shot here!), smirking slightly.
"Watch out, Hogwarts! Granger's out to get her man!
A/N Okay, that last line was cheesy. And so are most girls.
Acknowledging some songs: Toxicity by System of the Down, London Bridge by Fergie, Blurry by Puddle of MuddHow Could an Angel Break my Heart by Toni Braxton, Can't Fight this Feeling by Reo Speedwagon, Invisible Man by 98°, Bitch by Meredith Brooks, Feel by Robbie Williams, Solitaire by Karen Carpenter
