Chapter 2: The Hand-Holding, Head Stroking Hypothesis

Sheldon: "Kripke! Move you're in our spot!"

Dr. Barry Kripke turns his head and rolls his eyes at the sight of Sheldon looking down at him with an irritated expression.

Barry [in his Elmer Fudd voice]: "What's y-w-our probl-w-em Coo-w-per! There are ple-w-nty of oth –w-er seats on this bus. W-hy, don't you go s-w-it in the back w-ith the o-w-ther los-w-ers."

Sheldon glares at Barry as he puts down his emergency survival carry on bag.

Sheldon: "You know very well that I called dibs on this seat during the team meeting. This seat is cattycorner to the driver so I can make sure he is maintaining the proper speed limit, but not directly behind him where we'd be subject to his fan blowing on us the entire way. It's close enough to the door in case of an emergency, but provides a barrier between the door and our seat so we don't get trampled by people coming in and off the bus. So don't make me call Dr. Gablehauser, Kripke because you know I'll do it!"

Kripke: "Bi-w-te me, Cooper!"

Amy stands behind Sheldon on the bus and sighs in frustration as she checks her watch. They only arrived at the school parking lot four minutes and thirty nine seconds ago and here Sheldon is already arguing with one of his teammates.

Sheldon stomps his foot like a child ready to throw a tantrum over his seat on the bus. He pulls out his cell-phone preparing to call Dr. Gablehauser who he already has on speed dial. But, Amy touches Sheldon's arm to get him to put the phone down before he totally embarrasses them both.

Amy: "Gentlemen, please surely there is a better way to settle this?"

Sheldon pauses to think about it then he looks at Kripke again. Barry stares back at Sheldon and they both have the same idea at the same time.

Sheldon puts his hand out straight in front of him then he curls his fingers into a tight fist. Kripke does the same thing with his hand as they prepared to settle this seat debate with a classic game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.

"Rock, Paper, Sc-wiss-w-ors, Lizard, Spock," they exclaim loudly right before Sheldon makes the Spock Sign with his hand and so does Kripke. Then they both gasp in frustration with themselves for choosing the same sign.

Amy rolls her eyes at them then she sees the leader of the charity organization getting on the bus. Amy has been corresponding online with Dr. Pamela Feynman for quite awhile and now she realizes this is perfect timing for her arrival.

Amy: "Hello, Dr. Feynman, nice to see you again."

Pamela: "Hello, Dr. Fowler and please you can call me Pami."

Dr. Pamela (Pami) Feynman is thirty-one year old botanist with fiery auburn hair and a tall, curvy frame. To Sheldon she looks like a slightly nerdy version of Pamela Lillian Isley also known as Poison Ivy from the DC Comic universe. She is dressed in a pair of khaki shorts, brown Birkenstocks, a tight dark hunter green v-neck t-shirt with her charity logo on it and a long brown hiking vest with lots of pockets and buckles on it. Dr. Pami Feynman also happens to be a distant relative to the late, great Richard Feynman one of Sheldon's idols.

Amy smiles at her politely though she has no intention of calling Pamela by her nickname. Instead, she firmly shakes her hand then Amy points towards Sheldon.

Amy: "May I introduce you to my boyfriend, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, leading theoretical physicist at Cal-Tech University focusing on M-theory. Sheldon, this is Dr. Pamela Feynman, head botanist at STAR Labs out of Seattle, Washington. She also has a PH.D in physics."

Pamela grins happily at both of them and extends her hand out to shake Sheldon's hand.

Pamela: "Please to me you Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon smiles for a moment while whispering a quick "Hello."

Sheldon: "Two PhDs, huh? That's pretty impressive, but since one is in the field of biology with a focus on plants and flowers you really can't boast too much about that."

Pamela wrinkles her brow then looks at Amy confused and not sure how to respond to Sheldon's strange condescending comment. Amy decides to deflect her attention away from it before Pami can respond.

Amy: "Dr. Feynman, I'd also like you to meet Dr. Barry Kripke, he works with Sheldon at the university and is also a physicist."

Sheldon scoffs as he turns to look at Kripke again.

Sheldon: "Though not a very good one."

Kripke ignores Sheldon's rude comment as he smirks at Pamela. He brushes the side of his hair back with one hand as he prepares to put the moves on this sexy looking new scientist.

Kripke: "H-w-llo, Pamela and may I say th-w-at's a pr-w-etty hot name y-w-ou have th-w-ere. ."

Pamela giggles a bit because she assumes Barry is trying to be sarcastic then she shakes his hand.

Pamela: "Yes, you may."

Amy grins happily to see that they are getting along so far, but Sheldon rolls his eyes ready to start ignoring what in his mind is nothing more than pointless chit chat.

Amy: "Pamela, here is an excellent hiker and rock climber."

Amy winks at Barry knowing that he likes those hobbies too and Barry smiles back at both ladies.

Barry: "R-w-eally, you don't say. Well I love rock cli-w-bing mys-w-elf been doing it for y-w-ears."

Amy: "Then why don't the two of you go sit over there and talk about your mutual interests that in no way interest Sheldon or myself."

Amy grins as she points to an empty seat near the back of the bus. Both Pamela and Barry look at the seat than at each other.

Pamela: "Sure why not."

Barry finally stands up ready to give up the seat he's currently in to Amy and Sheldon.

Amy slightly pushes Sheldon out of the aisle way so Pamela can walk past them. Barry stares at her butt as Pamela walks towards the seat near the back. He grins then nudges Sheldon in the side.

Barry: "Hey, C-w-ooper, this trip might not su-w-ck the big one aft-w-er all. We might actu-w-ally get laid."

Sheldon wrinkles his nose at that idea because he thinks it sounds utterly ridiculous.

Barry follows Pamela to the back of the bus and sits down beside her.

Sheldon: "Speak for yourself," he whispers after Kripke has already walked away. He places his emergency bag up above the seats on the luggage shelf then slumps down in the seat by the window.

Amy puts her purse up on the shelf then sits beside Sheldon and takes his hand.

Sheldon looks down at their hands in surprise then up at Amy's face. He frowns at her.

Sheldon: "Amy, what are you doing now? This is not in our agreement."

Amy: "Sorry Sheldon, but you already broke our agreement on hand-holding back at your apartment. So I'm entitled to do the same. Besides, we are a couple now and it is a customary social convention for couples to hold hands on the bus. When I was in elementary school I remember that all the popular girls held hand with their boyfriends…you know when they weren't throwing gum in my hair."

Sheldon's frown deepens as he looks at her in shock and confusion.

Sheldon: "They actually threw gum at you? That's terrible."

Amy: "Oh that wasn't so bad, those girls were friendly compared to the boys who threw rocks at me once we got off the bus."

Sheldon sighs in reluctant submission feeling enough pity for her to continue to let her hold his hand at least until the bus starts.

Sheldon: "Amy, do you think once we get to the first rest stop the two of us can go over my new bathroom schedule. I printed laminated copies for everyone, but I want to make sure everything on it is okay with you because I haven't had a chance to download your menstrual cycle schedule yet."

Amy: "No need to worry about that. I'm not on my period Sheldon. In fact, I won't be for the entire trip."

She grins at Sheldon hoping he'll catch her meaning for saying this, but he doesn't.

Sheldon: "Good, because there are probably billions of mosquitoes out there carrying God knows how many disgusting blood borne pathogens and menstrual bleeding would make you their prime target."

Amy ignores his comment and pulls out a map of the camp site to show him.

Amy: "As you requested Sheldon, I arranged for you to have your own cabin at the camp grounds. I am supposed to share one with Pamela, but I don't have to."

Sheldon: "Well that's up to you and her. Does she snore?"

Amy: "No, I mean I could come and stay in your room some night if you want me to?"

Sheldon wrinkles his brow and stares at her like she has gone mad.

Sheldon: "Why would I want that?"

Amy: "Well there are lots of teenagers coming on this trip with us and they like to pull pranks during the middle of the night on teachers. Not to mention the bears, birds and other creatures rummaging through the forest by our campsite. I don't want you to be scared all alone out there in the woods by yourself that's all. So if you get scared or lonely just text me and I'll come stay with you."

Sheldon puffs out his chest and sits up straight trying to appear as formidable as possible.

Sheldon: "Amy, while I appreciate your concern for my well being it is not necessary. I have packed my emergency survival bag so I'm sure I can handle anything out there from wild beasts to hippies. I'll be fine."

He smugly smiles at her and even pats her hand gently to reassure Amy that he will be okay sleeping alone in his little cabin in the woods. But, when he turns to look out the window of the bus again a small hornet flies up to his window and starts pecking at it as if it's trying to get inside the bus. Sheldon freaks out immediately ducking his head down onto Amy's lap terrified of it.

Sheldon: "Make it go away Amy! Make it go away!" he says in a childish voice.

Amy does her best not to laugh at him for being such a baby. Instead she leans back and enjoys the feeling of Sheldon's head lying in her lap. Amy begins to sing a classic bus song to take his mind off the insect by the window. She softly strokes his head with her hand to calm his nerves until the driver starts the bus. Too afraid to check out the window for himself Sheldon keeps his head down in her lap as he listens to her soothing voice until it lulls him to sleep.