Rating- PG-13 again

Archive- Anywhere!! But I wanna know about it.

Authors Note- Wanna hear something weird? I had no idea that Spike was going to tell Buffy he "tried to cut it out" (meaning his heart, I think) in the show when I wrote the dream sequence in the first chapter. I must be psychic lol. Anyway, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for the reviews. I really appreciate it! Sorry you had to wait so long for a second chapter; I was a little blocked as to how I should continue. But after watching 'Lessons' I was totally in my Buffy/Spike place. I wish there had been more Spuffy interaction in that ep., though. I was definitely left wanting more.

Summary- Spike returns to Sunnydale (nowhere near as insane as he is in the show-- I sure do hope he gets over that soon. But I digress) And it seems he still has that pesky habit of stalking Buffy; who doesn't know he's back.

Disclaimer- Not mine.

Full Circle

Part Two

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Buffy was screaming.

What was she saying? He couldn't quite understand her. Couldn't make it out. But he knew he'd heard it before. Many times before. Every night, in fact-- or day, as the case may be.

What was she saying? He strained to hear her… She was screaming at him… it was suddenly clear.

"Spike, please STOP!" she begged him. Buffy begged him to stop.

"You don't strike me as the begging type." he recalled saying to her once, a long time ago. But that was neither here nor there.

He saw her now and she was crying. Buffy was crying because of him. Calling out for help because of him and he felt his heart shatter as a result. He felt his chest may collapse at any moment. The pain that overtook his body and mind overshadowed the sharp kick that Buffy delivered to his torso, sending him flying across the bathroom. The room was so bright. Too bright. It didn't seem normal, how there could be so much light and he just hadn't seen.

He pulled himself up off the floor, holding on to the counter-- as he had a thousand times before. And he heard her next words as clear as day-- just as he had a thousand times before.

"Ask me again why I could never love you!"

It pierced him anew, like a stake through the heart, every time he heard it. Only now when he heard it, unlike the first time, it pierced his soul too. He saw her standing there clutching her bathrobe shut tight around her. His powerful slayer; trembling, wide eyed and teary. He had done this to her.

Spike felt like he might vomit.

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He awoke with a start then. At first he was unsure of where he was but it soon came back to him. He was sleeping where he had been every day since his return; on the cold, hard floor of a far room in the basement of the new Sunnydale High School building.

Buffy's cries echoed in his mind again and he quickly crawled to the corner of the room; he was going to be sick. But all he could do was dry heave. He hadn't fed in days.

When it finally subsided, all he could bring himself to do was sit against the wall with his head in his hands. Silent tears fell from his pained, blue eyes.

Her name ran through his mind over and over again. His Buffy. His Slayer. The one person he had wronged that was still alive to feel the pain. The only person he had wronged that he loved.

Enough of this rot. Spike steeled himself with a deep breath; wiping the tears from his face with the back of his hand. He knew he had to feed. He absolutely had to. But the very thought disgusted him. Even though he knew it was only pigs blood, it was the very embodiment of everything he was that he hated. Yet at the same time, a primal force within him craved it-- anticipated the taste of it. It was a deep desire that needed to be quenched the way a man lost in the desert desires water. It was this force that drove him out of the dank basement now.

Spike ascended the stairs to the door that would lead to the main hall of the school. He listened carefully to be sure there was no one out there before turning the handle and pushing the door open.

It was still very early for a vampire to be surfacing. But then again, Spike had always kept strange hours. The sun had mostly gone down, but the sky was still lit; splashed with deep tones of red, orange, and purple. He could see it from where he stood in the hall; lined with many windows. It would be okay for him to go out without sizzling, though.

He noticed just how many windows there were in this building. Making the new school seem bright and pure during the light hours. Even at night it didn't look too threatening. The vibrant colors of the fresh paint in the halls made it appear like a happy place. Clean. A place where he didn't belong. Which was another reason he seldom left the basement. .

Spike purposefully made his way to one of the side doors of the building; having no desire to go out the front at the risk of being seen. It was still pretty early.

As he strode down the halls, surrounded by the bright blue lockers on either side, he thought about her. What else is new. He wanted to see her again. Maybe if he stood in her back yard, behind the trees, he could see her through the windows. He had done it before. Or maybe she would go to the Bronze again. He had really liked seeing her there when he'd followed last week. He liked seeing her happy; dancing with her friends. She'd seemed…. effulgent? Ha ha… Like he'd remembered her from when she was younger; when he'd first come to Sunnyhell. Before the whole ordeal with Angelus had weathered her. Before Joyce's death had killed her just a little bit more. Before being pulled back into this life that she'd been happy to be done with.

He didn't know what had happened, but something in Buffy had surely changed. She's happier with you out of her life, mate. Spike told himself.

He only wanted to watch her from a distance, though. That was okay, right? Just to see her happy. That was all. Try and imprint it in his mind and take it with him so maybe he wouldn't dream about…that other thing anymore. Then he remembered how she had felt him , at the Bronze, when he'd gotten to close. She wasn't happy after that. She cried because of him…again. All I've ever brought that girl is misery. This train of thought led him to how useless he was. Pathetic.

It soon struck him how much he was starting to sound like Harris. Spike vowed to take a short stroll through the sunshine if he caught himself sounding like such a bloody whiner again.

Spike turned the corner to the corridor that would take him to the nearest side exit just as he heard a door at the far end opening and voices echoing down the otherwise deserted hall. Several of the voices belonged to a small amount of students that dispersed quickly; desperate to escape the confines of the detention hall as soon as possible. But one voice reached his ears that was achingly familiar.

Dawn stopped short as soon as she left the room; eye to eye now with her sister who had been waiting for her outside. "Who made up this crazy policy, anyway?" she let out a nervous chuckle. "I mean, detention for being late? It really is ridiculous if you ask me."

Spike turned tail and booked back around the corner before he could be seen. looks like I'll have to get out another way he considered; back against the wall, listening.

" Oh, I totally agree." her older sister said, sarcastically. "Detention for being late to school twenty times and counting. What were they thinking."

Maybe he could find another way out in a few minuets. Spike peeked around the corner. The increasing darkness in the halls helping to conceal him. But he could see them.

"You are soooo exaggerating. It was more like twelve." They turned down another hall and disappeared from his sight. "Besides, it's not like it's even my fault I'm late a lot."

"I'm not even going to justify that with a response." Buffy said; monotone.

Their voices echoed back to him. Spike listened as their footsteps grew further and further away. Follow or flee? It had been the best view of the Nibblet he'd gotten since he came back. She looked so grown up. How had it happened in a few short months? It made him well aware of human mortality and how quickly things change in the blink of an eye. Follow.

Spike quietly walked over to the next corner. He watched as the two of them made their way to the door; chatting absently about nothing and everything. Buffy grew her hair out again… It had been up the last few time he'd seen her, but now it hung loose around her shoulders. Blond locks lightly bouncing against her back as she walked towards the front door. Stupid hair he remembered with a slight smile as he tilted his head Yeah, that was real bloody smooth.

Buffy suddenly stopped right before they reached the doors. Spike held his unneeded breath as he was sure she must have felt him again.

"Crap." she said; slapping a hand to her forehead.

Dawn stopped now and turned to face her. "What?"

"I forgot my bag in the library."

Dawn shrugged "Okay." and turned back to the door.

"Wait. Where are you going?"

"Out to the car." Dawn exaggerated the sentence as though she were talking to someone a little slow. "Giles and Willow are waiting, right? I'll tell them you'll be right out." When Buffy continued to look at her like she had grown a second head, Dawn continued "I think I can brave the trials and tribulations of crossing the street on my own. I promise to look both ways first."

Buffy's lips formed a sardonic grin "Funny." She sighed. "Okay. My bad. Residual over protectiveness." She dismissed it with a wave of her hand. " It's still working it's way out."

"No problem. I'll be in the car."

"Okay, be right out." Buffy turned and headed back down the hall.

"Unless, of course, I get jumped by a gang of vampires as soon as I set foot out the door!" Dawn called back to her sister. "Whatever will I do?" she said in a girly damsel in distress voice.

"Shut up." Buffy casually retorted back over her shoulder.

Spike ducked into one of the classrooms as Buffy came back down the hall, turned the corner and passed the door he hid behind. He was just about to turn the knob and go back out into the hall when he saw her retracing her steps. Spike watched through the small window on the door as she slowly backed up and stopped her pace in the middle of the hall, right next to the classroom where he hid. He watched the expression on her face; her brow furrowed as though she were deep in thought. Her gaze cast down to the floor in concentration. Spike thought that at any moment her eyes might dart up to the window that he watched her through. She would definitely see him then. But she sighed in resignation instead; her body visibly relaxing. Her gaze turned from pensive to downcast as she shook her head and kept going.

THAT was close.

But he continued to follow. Trying your luck? Spike thought to himself. Ready for another round of Buffy stalking, are we? He wondered then if , subconsciously, he didn't want to be caught. Make life a hell of a lot easier. Since I don't have the stones to approach 'er myself.

Spike saw her enter the swinging doors of the library and then exit moments later with a messenger bag slung across her shoulder. Buffy stopped again in the hall. Looking around determinedly. Finally, she rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "OKAY." she called out into the dimly lit, deserted hallway "Playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with a vamp was NOT on my agenda for this evening." Buffy took a few slow steps down the hall as she pulled a stake out of her bag "So why don't you come on out so we can get this over with."

Spike stayed silent as Buffy stalked past him. It was the closest she had come to him yet. He caught a whiff of her shampoo as she went by. His head reeled, but he knew he had to get away from her now. She was closing in. As soon as Buffy was a far enough distance away, Spike bolted around the corner and back to the door of the basement. But Buffy had caught the movement out of the corner of her eye. Her head made a sharp turn as her ears picked up a soft sound of boots squeaking on the clean tile floors of the school. She pursued. Rounding the corner just in time to see the door of the basement almost unnoticeably clicking shut. Almost.

Carefully; Buffy opened the door and descended the steps. "Not the stealthiest vamp on the Hell Mouth, are 'ya?" she said half to herself, half to the slayee.

The basement was like a maze. An intricate circuit of corridors that were impossible to navigate unless you had a blue print or were very familiar with the surroundings. Which Buffy was not.

Spike watched as she drew closer to where he hid at the far end of the passageway; stake griped tightly in her fist, raised and ready for the kill. She turned the corner before she got any closer, though, and Spike saw this as his chance. He darted back down the hall headed to the stairs leading back up. But when he passed the bend that Buffy had taken, he hadn't bothered to stop and notice that she'd been waiting around the corner in the shadows. The vampire passed her in a blur and automatically she reached out and grabbed his arm, bending it behind his back and slamming him roughly into the wall. Then pulling him back and throwing him to the ground. Quickly, she straddled him; stake poised above her head, ready to plunge it into yet another vampire's heart. All in a days work.

Spike made no move to stop her.

But his eyes caught hers just before she made the strike and Buffy froze. She could have sworn she felt her heart stop. And he just lay there; a look of calm resignation in those deep blue eyes. He said nothing. Vocabulary seemed to escape him for the time being.

"Spike?" Buffy asked softly with a slight quiver in her voice; as though she didn't believe he was really there or maybe she had mistaken someone else for him. But it was him. She lowered the stake. Realizing that she was still straddling him; Buffy quickly got off and backed up until she hit the wall. The stake fell from her hand; hitting the ground by her feet.

Spike sat up and pulled himself back until he leaned against the opposite wall; he drew his knees up protectively to his chest. "You may as well 'ave run the stake through it, luv." he said; averting his eyes from hers " 'cause I can't do a bleedin' thing with it."

"What?" She asked quickly; she'd heard it before. Where? Oh, God THINK….. Her dream. He'd said the same thing.

Spike was looking up at her now. Gauging her reaction to his sudden reappearance. The look on her face was of pure shock and there were tears standing in her eyes. He chuckled humorlessly and looked back down at the ground. "What's the matter, Pet? Didn't expect to see me again?"

"After you left without so much as a goodbye FIVE MONTS AGO and no one's heard from you since?" She spoke in a heated voice that drew his attention " No, I didn't." The standing tears fell quietly down her cheeks. "You left so suddenly." Buffy spoke in a quieter voice now.

"Wasn't that sudden." Spike said, and an uncomfortable silence followed as they simply stared back at each other. "Besides, I would've thought you'd be glad to be rid of me." He said with a slight smile. He was only half serious.

She didn't answer him, but instead took a few tentative steps toward where he sat huddled on the ground and crouched before him so they were eye level "Where did you go?" Buffy asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Turning his head away from her; he responded "It doesn't matter." he said quickly. Maybe a little too quickly. But then he heard a sound that he wasn't too familiar with: Buffy had started laughing. He turned back to her with a questioning in his eyes " Something funny, Pet?"

"Your hair." she said with a smile. "Now I know why I didn't recognize you when you ran past me. Your head's not quite as fluorescent as usual." His roots had grown in. Big time. He had a full head of wavy brown hair with bleached blond tips.

Spike broke out into a grin and chuckled. "Well, I'm glad my lapse in personal maintenance amuses you, luv." But as quickly as it had come, the smile disappeared. His eyes seemed to take on a far off look as his face fell. "It just didn't seem to be important anymore."

Buffy's brow furrowed and she tilted her head "What happened to you?" she asked in a quiet voice filled with emotion. Spike met her eyes again. Her lower lip pouted as she absently reached out to brush the errant curls from his forehead. She heard his unnecessary breath catch in his chest at the light touch. Realizing what she was doing; Buffy quickly pulled away.

"Buffy?" A far off voice called from above.

She looked up, as though she could see through the ceiling and identify the person calling her. The voice called again; sounding more urgent now. Buffy's eyes met Spike's again "It's Giles. They must be looking for me. I have been gone a while."

Buffy stood up but never tore her gaze from his. She seemed to be considering something. After a long pause she took a deep breath "I have to go now." she began "But I'll be back in about an hour." Buffy began walking toward the stairs that led to the ground floor of the school. She stopped at the first step and looked back at him; still sitting on the concrete floor of the basement watching her every move. "If you're not here when I get back, I'm going to owe you an ass kicking." She warned him, then made her way up.

Spike smiled. She didn't have to worry. He would definitely be there. Maybe I can get the ass kicking anyway He thought hopefully.

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Buffy surfaced from the basement; quietly shutting the door behind her so as not to draw attention. Briskly walking down the hall now to find Giles; she heard the panic beginning to seep into his voice as he called out to her. Looking for her. "Giles! I'm down here!" She rounded the corner; practically running into him.

"There you are!" He blurted out in relief. Giles took his glasses off and began to clean them. "When you didn't return to the car, Dawn began to worry. So I came in to look for you."

Buffy grinned Dawn began to worry, huh? "Right." she simply said.

"Was there… uhhh… any trouble?" He asked.

"Oh, no." Buffy said; suddenly a little nervous "Everything's trouble free." She smiled and started to lead him back to the exit that his car was parked outside of. "No.. uhhh… there was just a-- a vampire. I had to get with the slayage. Ya' know?"

"A vampire, you say? In the school?" Giles thought for a moment. "How wonderful." He said sarcastically. "A brand new school building and already it's infested with demonic activity."

"I'd hardly call one vamp an infestation, Giles." Buffy shrugged "Besides. This building is directly over the Hell Mouth. It's to be expected."

"Your absolutely right. Perhaps we should comb the campus tomorrow night. There could be a vampire nest formed already-- if not some other form of--"

"NO-- Uhhh, no combing required, Giles. Really. I just took a look around. It was just the one." They exited the building now and approached the car. Dawn and Willow were in the back seat, waiting for them.

"There you are." Dawn said; non pulsed, once they got in " Giles started to freak when you didn't come out."

"I did not 'freak'."

The short ride to the Summers home was spent listening to the intricate details of Dawn's life as a High School sophomore. Meanwhile, Buffy couldn't help but wonder why she felt she needed to keep Spike's return from everyone. Well, Giles didn't exactly give off a pleasant vibe when I told him about what Spike had tried to do. Buffy had wanted to keep that whole incident to herself in the first place. But then Xander had walked in. And the second he did Buffy knew she was going to end up telling everyone. Because Xander certainly wouldn't waist a moment in spreading the story while shouting 'He's-evil!- I-told-you-so' and dancing a little jig.

Buffy sighed. Xander means well. He just worries.

Or is it jealousy? a cynical voice--that she ignored-- asked from within.

They pulled up to the front of the home that seemed much too big for only two young women such as Dawn and herself. But Buffy hated the very idea of moving out of the house that they had lived in for five years with Mom. Never gonna' happen. She vowed.

Saying their goodbyes to Giles and Willow; the two Summers sisters walked to the front door. "You're going patrolling now, right?" Dawn said; excitement creeping into her voice. "Can I come?"

Buffy hesitated as she reached the front door; keys in her hand poised at the lock. "Not tonight, Dawn." She opened the door; thinking fast for an excuse " I need to work out some aggression. You don't mind if I go alone, do ya'?"

"Why? What happened?" Dawn asked, closing the door behind her.

"Oh, Uhhhh… Well," Buffy put her hands on her hips in her best attempt to fake indignation. "I went to the mall earlier.. and…. they were all out of… shoes."

Dawn squinted her eyes at Buffy. "They were out of shoes?"

"Uh-huh, it's a shoe shortage." But added quickly when she realized how stupid she sounded "What I mean is, they didn't have the pair I wanted."

"Okay… So you're going to inflict your rage upon the vampire populous of Sunnydale?"

"Uh-huh." Buffy nodded emphatically.

"And you don't want my help?"

"Oh no, Dawn. It's not that." Buffy sighed; growing a little frustrated. She tried to tread carefully; afraid that she might say something wrong and send Dawn into a hormonal moodiness relapse. "I love having your help! It's just… I'm just in an aloney mood right now."

Dawn stared at her for moment. "Okay." she shrugged.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I don't know why you didn't just say that to begin with." Dawn started to climb the stairs to her room " 'cause that shoe story was the lamest thing I've ever heard." she chuckled "I'm going to call Kit and see if she wants to go to the Bronze."

"Not on a school night." Buffy called up to her.

Dawn stopped on the stairs and turned back to her "Buffy, it's Friday."

"Oh, yeah." Buffy said in a small voice.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Dawn was definitely concerned now. "You've been kind of spacey lately."

"Thanks." she replied sarcastically "I'll be fine. You go. I've got my cell phone if you need me. Have fun."

"Okay. You too."

Yeah Buffy though to herself as her sister ran the rest of the way upstairs. I'll have a blast. She walked out the door with a deep breath and headed back over to the high school; wondering whether or not she was finally going to be able to deal with this.

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TBC