Thundercracker peered down at the figure seated on the floor of the study room, their arms pulling their knees loosely to their cockpit. Skywarp had arrived at the room first, which wasn't concerning in itself, but they had seemed zoned out for an unusually long time, even for them.
The blue mech slid from his chair and planted himself in front of his classmate after a long moment, nearly eye level with the larger seeker while they slouched. "Everything alright?"
Skywarp's optics brightened and glanced at Thundercracker fleetingly before avoiding optic contact. They had been lost in thought, he realized, not necessarily worried; Skywarp rarely looked directly at him anymore unless they were about to go on about their special interest. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Just need to tell you something. Um." They paused to find the right words. "I can't spend break with you after all. I gotta study."
"Oh," the blue mech grunted. "Yeah, I get it. Physics classes are kicking my aft right now. It's fine."
"Really?" Skywarp asked, voice laced with incredulity. "I've got pretty good marks in physics, but the other stuff, the stuff about language junk and codes, that I don't get. It's all just text, but physics is…." They gestured vaguely at the air. "Like that, you know."
A long moment of silence filled the air as the two thought.
"I could try to teach you?" Thundercracker offered. "And maybe you could help me with physics?" He doubted that the other would be able to help him much—his grades in the class were already decent by most standards—but the offer was genuine, and knew that at the very least he would leave with more trivia on the subject than he ever knew he wanted. And anyway, Skywarp's explanations were always interesting.
Skywarp flashed their usual grin, and Thundercracker couldn't help but smile back. "Sounds great, TC. I love- I mean… I'd like that."
Academy residences were usually closed during the brief vacation, but—because it was one of the shorter breaks, and because much of the student body would prefer not to go home even if they had one outside the dorms—it had become popular to live in temporary break housing. The primary building had previously been a permanent residence and its moderately-sized rooms devoid of any decoration hardly varied from the usual suites.
Sharing a room with Skywarp was very different than living with Lightdive. Thundercracker had been rooming with him for several grades, entirely because they had quickly reached an agreement to leave each other alone. Lightdive appreciated that Thundercracker didn't ask questions when he commed telling the other to stay out of the room for the night—he spent long hours in the study rooms anyway—and Thundercracker was fine with it all as long as his goldenrod roommate was quiet when they were both home. This turned out to be rare; after accidentally walking in on what he mildly referred to as "activities of dubious legality," Thundercracker took up an irregular recharge schedule between classes to avoid the other.
Skywarp, despite not having reached any such agreement, was a much more pleasant suitemate. They were messy and more emotional than Thundercracker was used to; they stayed up late, occasionally snickering at something on their monitor; and they said more to Thundercracker during the break than Lightdive had in many grades. Their wall was plastered with electronic posters of music groups and idols Thundercracker had never heard of (and probably would want to either). Living with Skywarp was exactly what he had feared having a suitemate would be like when he first came to the Academy.
But the temporary room was more full of life than his usual one ever would be. He loved it.
He even enjoyed his little mentoring sessions with Skywarp. Shortly after their project together, Thundercracker had made physical study aides, mostly guessing that Skywarp would be a tactile learner, and his spark swelled with pride whenever the seeker's face would light up in understanding.
Skywarp's lessons were hard to understand at first, but Thundercracker liked them. They made schoolwork into games, little challenges that could be broken up into chunks. The black mech would use analogies and similes that made perfect sense to them, and Thundercracker would always realise in hindsight how accurate they were after he understood the mechanics; he would smile in understanding and appreciation despite himself, but could never really bring himself to be embarrassed when his partner would beam back at him.
The last night before the regular dorms opened again, the two had set aside their datapads and gone for a flight. The expanse of darkness above them was beautiful as they landed at the edge of the badlands bordering the city. Thundercracker sat and leaned back on his elbows, venting slowly as he processed the view. His companion had been looking in every direction and presently dropped to the ground beside him.
"Why d'you like them so much? Not like they're not always there."
Thundercracker shrugged. "Don't know. Look nice, I guess."
He had been asked the question before—by Cloudhopper, to whom he had said that he had considered joining an exploration, and by Skystorm, who he had told that the stars seemed mysterious and profound. The excuses were complete slag, of course. He had made them up on the spot, fully expecting the mechs who had expressed interest in him to laugh at his honestly baseless fascination.
Skywarp laughed, but Thundercracker had predicted that. It wasn't the barking, derisive laugh he would expect from Cloudhopper or the patronizing and belittling chuckle Skystorm would have given. Skywarp's was—not gentler, no, Skywarp was never gentle—but not mocking or demeaning.
"Look nice, huh?" Skywarp repeated eventually, humming. "Guess so. I used'ta like finding pictures in the patterns, but it's kinda sad doing that by yourself."
"Why not go with your friends?"
The black mech was hardly visible in the dark, but Thundercracker could make out an amused expression on their face. "Not too many mechs I'd spend time with out here. Too many of 'em aren't interested in being alone out here just to look at some lights."
"What?"
"Well, you know, they're more into the… companionship." Skywarp gestured vaguely with one servo; Thundercracker stared back, bemused. "They wanna spend a few orns with me and then dump my sorry aft," they sighed, frustrated.
"Oh," Thundercracker replied. "They flirt with you?"
"Now you get it!" They smirked cynically. "Believe it or not, TC, I am one hot piece of aft." As if to prove a point, they rolled to their side and struck a pose, chin resting on one servo with the other at their waist.
"Uh."
"Come on, TC, don't fall for me now," Skywarp snickered before shuffling over, folding their arms on Thundercracker's legs, and settling their chin on top. "Number one rule is don't mess around with anyone you already like or things get…" They kicked their legs and frowned. "Messy."
A long pause ensued in which it became obvious that Thundercracker had no intention of responding; Skywarp, unused to the silence, looked up at the smaller mech. "Your engine's loud."
Thundercracker averted his optics, apparently finding something more interesting on the ground. "Sorry," he mumbled, but said nothing else.
"I mean," rambled Skywarp, "not in a bad way. It'd be too quiet out here without you. It. Whatever."
Their classmate said nothing to that, which was… worrying. Reading emotions was far from Skywarp's forte, and sure Thundercracker was notoriously silent and unnoticeable in classes, but they had found that he was often fairly open around them once the two had gotten used to each other.
Had they said something wrong? Maybe he was sensitive about his engines—but even before that he had seemed sullen. Skywarp kicked their legs slightly as they skimmed through any relevant things they knew about their classmate.
His systems were fine, since he'd mentioned going in for a check-up recently; he might have recalled something bad that happened recently, but he had told Skywarp, grinning and cheerful, that this break had been one of his best, so not that… His bouts of depression, he'd said, usually happened when he was alone, and—oh.
Skywarp shoved themselves off Thundercracker and upright as if he had cosmic rust. Or rather, as if they had cosmic rust. "TC, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry okay—" They gesticulated wildly. "I forgot—"
"Warp," Thundercracker interjected, his voice strained and his expression serious. He took Skywarp's servos in his to stop their meaningless gestures and held them up to his helm, an excuse to look down rather than at the other. "I'm okay. It's okay. This time." He vented deeply. "Everything's fine."
"Why didn't you just say?" the larger mech asked, concern and genuine confusion in their voice. Everyone always asked that, and like always Thundercracker just stared at the ground and shrugged.
Because at least you seemed comfortable.
Maybe you'd be insulted.
You might leave.
I'm used to it anyway.
If he said anything he'd get laughed at, or worse, pitied. Treated like he was naïve or broken. He knew they weren't good reasons, but still they lurked in the back of his mind.
With a jolt, he realized he had been absentmindedly tracing patterns on the other's servos. His hands retreated in a panic, followed by the rest of him as he rose from the ground. He didn't dare look at his (ex-?)friend's face.
"I-I'm sorry," he sputtered." "Sorry. I'll just—"
"TC?"
It hurt, Skywarp saying his nickname like that. Worried. Of course, they would pity the poor glitched seeker and his defective processor. Worry for a broken mech, that's how it always ended.
"TC, please," Skywarp said gently. Gently. Skywarp was not gentle, should not be gentle. "Are you okay? You didn't do anything."
This was wrong, painfully so: Skywarp coddling him, clicking gentle words as if he were a—a sparkling, or—a distressed trinemate. Pity was the last thing he wanted. Please, laugh, or get angry, anything but this again—but the emotions jumbled in his processor laced his words with static when he began to speak, counting off points on his servos and avoiding optic contact like it would kill him.
He counted off one finger. "I'm fine." Two. "I shouldn't have acted like that." Three. "But don't—don't treat me like this, like you pity me, even if you do. This is my fault." Four. "I'm only saying this because I know I owe you an explanation, but servo contact calms me, and I know, it's silly and pointless, just forget about it. Please." Five. "Just forget about all of this. Sorry I dragged you into… whatever that was."
"TC," Skywarp began neutrally, "stay with me here. But only if you want to."
Thundercracker hesitated. He didn't want to. What he wanted was to fly home and hopefully never have to face them again. Skywarp was lost to him already thanks to his series of mistakes, but… maybe. Maybe they would ignore what had just occurred and things could go back to normal. (Yeah, right.) Nevertheless he slowly lowered himself to the ground beside his companion, staring at his pedes all the while.
Skywarp, for their part, seemed at least as tentative as him. "I get the thing about holding servos being comforting, you know," they stated with a shrug. "Would that help?"
A black servo was extended with slight hesitation. Two larger servos reached out to cradle it, tracing its joints carefully.
"I don't pity you, TC. Pity's for the weak. I've seen you fly," they half-laughed, "there's nothing pitiable about you. Just ignore that 'emotion is a weakness' slag." Their expression hardened. "Listen, I don't know how badly I messed up but it must have been really bad to make you freak out like that. You told me and I still messed up and you got upset for a reason."
"It's not your-"
"Yeah, TC, it is my fault, and you have every right to be mad."
Thundercracker opened his mouth as if to protest, then thought better of it. One servo closed lightly around Skywarp's thumb. "Yeah," he said. "Okay."
Skywarp leaned back and spread out their legs, forcing them to support themselves with the servo not presently being held. Thundercracker did the same, leaving two servos absentmindedly touching on the ground between the two mechs.
"Hey, TC." Skywarp broke the silence, for which Thundercracker was grateful; he was beginning to feel disgustingly embarrassed. Warp pointed at a cluster of stars with their free servo, tracing a pattern. "I think those stars kinda look like Jetstorm kicking my aft. Great omen for the next tests, huh?"
Thundercracker did laugh at that. "Warp, you've been studying constantly. You'll be fine."
"But I've been failing, TC," they whined without much conviction. "I don't wanna have to repeat again."
The smaller mech turned his head, meeting their optics.
"Warp, I heard you reciting history earlier, stuff you definitely didn't know before break." He grinned and leaned into the other's shoulder. "You can do this."
"Only 'cause of you," Skywarp pouted. "You're the smart one."
"Oh?" Thundercracker said, optics widening in mock surprise. "So I just suddenly started understanding physics and advanced computations through the power of Primus?" He chuckled. "And anyway, doesn't matter if I'm good at art and theoretical stuff. You know about the world, you know how to fight, how to fly. All that other stuff doesn't matter."
"TeeCee…" Skywarp warned, frowning.
Thundercracker raised his free servo in a placating gesture and leaned away from the other. "Hey, I'm not even being all self-depreciating this time, okay?" He paused, rubbed the back of his helm, and vented as he looked away. "I'm just saying, you're amazing enough without knowing all that pointless slag. Especially when the teachers don't even bother teaching in ways you can get." Receiving only silence, he continued, more unsteadily than before, "Sorry. I know it's weird for mechs to be so, uh, open, I guess? Around here, I mean."
"Aw, shut up," Skywarp finally replied, grinning when Thundercracker braved looking to them. "You're a sap, TC, but that's not bad." They bumped their shoulder again Thundercracker's playfully. "And uh, thanks. Wait, slag—" they groaned, hiding their face behind a servo. "I keep messing up, don't I?"
"You know, I was leaning on you just before that. It's fine."
"Yeah, that's why I assumed it was okay, but, I don't know, maybe it was a one-time thing, or…"
"Warp!" Thundercracker laughed, "it's fine. Thanks."
"Okay, maybe sometime you need to give me a lesson on where touching you is okay or something—" Skywarp cut off suddenly after Thundercracker began to laugh. "Okay, I did not mean it like that," they shouted as he jumped off the ground, "and you know it, you aft!"
"Come on, Warp, don't fall for me now," the blue mech imitated, snickering once he was well out of striking range of his friend.
"I can kick your aft, you know!" Skywarp yelled as they brought themself to their pedes.
"Here's a tip for you!" Thundercracker half-howled in laughter as he transformed to take off. "Threats aren't usually a very good flirting method!"
Fuel levels low and spirits high, the two could barely stop laughing long enough to sneak back into the Academy after curfew.
