Part 2

That night…

Thump thump!

Slash fans: Someone's getting lucky.

Thump thump!

Eragon: (wakes up) Wazzgoinon.

The stone/egg starts wobbling and cracks and a cute little baby Saphira pops out.

Audience: Awww!

Eragon: Not a stone…an egg.

Caption Obvious: Hey, that's my job!

Baby Saphira: (wobble) are you my mommy?

Eragon: (reads scrip) Wait, you're not supposed to talk yet.

Saphria: Oh, right. I mean. Grrr. Hiss. Whine.

Audience: Awww!

SF: Holly Hell! Kill it before it eats you!

KM: This is what I get when I bring a redneck to the movies.

Eragon reaches out and touches the cute little baby dragon and then passes out.

Brom: Hmm, my foreshadowing senses are tingling.

Galbatorix: Woo-hoo, I finally get some screen time.

Ayra: Like, a little help please!

Eragon wakes up after seeing small foreshadowing glimpses of some elf chick.

Eragon: Damn, I'm never drinking again.

KM: Yeah, we've all had those days.

SF: You're having one right now.

Uncle Garrow: Eragon, get that hot ass out of bed already!

Eragon and Garrow give Roran a tearful goodbye.

Roran: I don't know when I'll ever see you guys again. Well father, actually this is the last time that I'll ever see you again, but yeah.

Stefen Fangmeier: One more plot point and you're fired!

Roran: So what, I only have five more seconds of face time anyway.

Roran fangirls: What?!?!?!?!

Garrow: One day Eragon, you'll grow up and find your own destiny

Eragon: But I like my life the way it is

Garrow: Well then kid you're gonna be SOL in about five minutes.

Eragon: WHAT?

Garrow: I mean, um, have I ever told you about your mother? Oh, she was a piece of work. .

Eragon: Tell me about it. She abandoned me. (Pouts)

Garrow: Yeah, she just ran off one day with some dark stranger. Sure he was hot, but we all knew he was trouble.

KM: Well if he's 1/10 as hot as his son I can't blame her.

SF: Yeah, Eragon's kinda hot. A bit whiney and skinny but—

KM: I don't mean that one!

SF: What?

Audience: What?

Stefen Fangmeier: Quiet you!

Garrow: I mean, err, go to bed. And make sure you stay away from that stone thingy you brought home!

Eragon: But it's not a stone, it's an e—

Garrow: Night!

The following day/night/what-the-fuck-ever, Eragon's wandering through the village and just happens to stumble into random bitching from his fellow villagers.

Horst: No word from my sons. None. If this was the book I could go up to those solders and snap them in half! Curse you screen writers!

Stefen Fangmeier: Hey, don't blame me 'cause you're not half the man you were in the books.

Horst: You made me that way! What's next, you gonna have me killed?

Stefen Fangmeier: (looks over at the Ra'zac) Maybe…

Random villager: Dude, stop arguing with the screen writer and sit down!

Horst: (sits and grumbles the whole time)

Brom: (Sigh) it wasn't always like this.

Horst: Yeah, back in my day, screen writers respected actors.

Brom: No, I mean, back in my day our world was peaceful when it was ran by The Dragon Riders.

Random villager: Oh here we go again.

Eragon: (Listens intently)

Brom: Now I'm going to go into complete detail, just incase the future Rider is for some reason among us. (Looks at Eragon) Blah, long ass time ago, dragons and humans lived together, blah, Galbatorix was once a rider, blah, killed everyone. The time of the Riders is soon at hand.

SF: Wow that was oddly descriptive.

KM: Mm-hm, no foreshadowing hints there.