Disclaimer: Again, these CSI characters do not belong to me. I do not own any creative right to any CSI character. They belong to CBS and whomever with the big clams at CSI Production Company so please don't sue me.

Rating: M just to be sure.

A/N: I would really appreciate any feedback and hope you will enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it.


Chapter 2

Gentlemen preferred blondes. And Gilbert Grissom was definitely a gentleman.

As he sat at the corner table in a very elegant but crowded restaurant on a Friday night, Grissom was admiring the two women who were his dinner companions. A total stranger could easily have mistaken these ladies as sisters. Blonde, petite, bright blue eyes, pretty, and highly intelligent, everything a man like him would appreciate in a life long friendship.

All blonde women that had traversed his adult life were, for lack of a better word, safe. They didn't threaten his career or his heart. Unlike a certain tall, young brunette who could turn his world upside down with a single gap-tooth smile and threaten his very existence, these women provided him with the companionship he needed without him having to risk everything he had worked so hard to achieve. The emotional part of him wanted so desperately to risk it all just for one taste of gratification with the only woman who had the potential to totally destroy him. But the rational part prevented him from plunging headlong into the abyss and therefore left him with an emotional vacuum that no other woman was able to fill.

"Gil... Earth to Gil Grissom…" One of the blonde women in front of him was trying to capture his attention.

"I am sorry. I was just thinking about tomorrow." Grissom lied quickly as he snapped out of his reverie.

"A case of cold feet Gil?" It was Catherine Willows who spoke this time. "I never thought I'd see the day Gil Grissom has the pre-nuptial jitter bug."

"I am an entomologist… I am good with bugs." Grissom tilted his head a little and grinned at her, trying to change the subject.

"I was just saying that I am forever thankful that Catherine here introduced us Gil." His fiancée, Jan Baker, chose to ignore his humor and instead smiled at him with the controlled upward curve of her lips that he knew so well. "Without her, I would never have found you."

"Then we shall make a toast to Catherine for looking out for our interests." Grissom winked at Jan as he raised his wineglass. Grissom could be a perfect gentleman when he wanted to and he could flirt with the best of them… But when he was around a certain someone, his tongue just seemed to render itself lifeless. You are walking dangerous grounds Gil… Get your mind off of her… you are not prepared for the consequences if you head down that road…

"… And now my turn. To my best friend and his soul mate…" Catherine was definitely a people person.

Grissom started to grow impatient with this entire pleasantry. Funny how years ago, he would have enjoyed something like this, dinner, wine, and great company. Now, he was just going through the motions and his friends and colleagues blamed it on his eccentricity. He had learned to hide so well behind a mask of indifference that everyone just accepted the fact that he had no feelings at all. Little did they know that on the contrary, the real Gil Grissom was full of emotions. He had the capacity to love so intense that it became his biggest weakness. His passion emerged from the poetic words of William Shakespeare and only one woman was able to bring out that side of him so effortlessly.

"Darling, I think it's getting late and you seem tired." Jan touched Grissom's hand to get his attention for the second time tonight. "How about we call it a night?"

"Huh? Yeah… sure." Grissom was distracted. His future wife noticed it too and she was definitely concerned.


"Aren't you coming in Gil?" Jan inquired as Grissom stood hesitantly outside the door to her two-story house.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Grissom's mind was somewhere else and he preferred to be alone with his thoughts at the moment. "Tomorrow will be a busy day and I think both of us should get some rest."

"I promise you will get plenty of rest once you are satiated." She offered suggestively as her fingers tugged on the lapel of his dinner jacket. "Have I told you how yummy you look all dressed up?"

Grissom smiled gratefully at the lovely woman in front of him as he gently removed her hand from his chest and bent down to kiss her cheek. "Good night Jan." And with that, he retreated back to his car as Jan Baker stood at her threshold looking quite furious.


What the hell is going on Gil? That was not a good way to start a lifelong relationship…you practically ran out on her…

Grissom came into this relationship by pure loneliness and fear. Jan was a fun and intelligent distraction at the moment in his life when he needed it the most. Even though her endless psychoanalytical speeches could be interesting but tiresome at times, Grissom reasoned that his entomological analysis of the insect world would have bored her to death as well. At least both of them were dedicated in their fields of expertise.

Jan Baker was not by any means traditional and neither was he. So when she proposed to him that night many months ago, Grissom had accepted the offer before he had the time to think things over. Jan, like him, had come to the crossroads where she wanted a companion in life. She needed an open-minded, intelligent man who would understand her needs to be independent yet attached at the same time. Looking back, he was lonely and the fear of being alone for the rest of his life had driven him into the arms of a woman that Grissom could safely say that he did not love.

Was love required for one to have when entering a marriage or did it develop after the "I do's"? His mother always said that as you get to know the right person, the love will grow but she failed to mention in which context the love exists. Was he expecting too much from his relationship with Jan? She was his equal in every aspect. She had both brain and looks. The sex… well, he couldn't complain since she was a psychologist after all, she knew what men and women desired in their mates. But afterward, he felt… what?… empty?… sad? Something was missing in his life and he suspected he knew the culprit. Yet, he was incapable of doing anything about it.

Every time he wanted to extricate himself from her, she somehow was able to come back and haunt his thoughts a thousand fold. As he drove around tonight to clear his head, thoughts of Sara Sidle overwhelmingly assaulted his senses and Grissom had unconsciously driven toward her apartment without realizing it.

As he sat in his car looking up at her apartment in the darkness, he was tempted to just walk up there and confess his feelings for her. But his damned rational side prevented him from doing so. After ten minutes of indecision, Grissom turned on his car engine and drove away.


As Grissom headed down the deserted highway toward destination unknown, he spotted a car on the shoulder lane with a very familiar figure haunched over the rear passenger side tire. Grissom's blue vintage Mercedes came to a stop behind that car. He got out and walked toward the young woman who was busy changing her flat tire.

"Sara? Are you ok?" Sara looked up in surprise to find Grissom coming toward her.

"Hey."

"Are you alright?" He asked again. "You need any help?"

"Uh… no… not really…" Sara was still reeling from the fact that Grissom was standing there in front of her. "It's just a flat tire. I got everything under control… but… uh… thanks for asking…" She feigned the excuse of putting the last lug nut on the tire so she could look away quickly from his inquiring eyes.

He knelt down to her eye level and examined the tire in front of her. As he glanced back at Sara in the half shadow of the beam from her flashlight, he found that her eyes were swollen and they were still brimming with tears. Instinctively he reached out to touch her hand only to find Sara immediately pulled away from him.

"Please let me help you with that," Grissom gestured at the lug nut wrench.

She couldn't trust her voice anymore so she just silently handed him the wrench and swiftly stood up, grabbed her damaged tire and headed toward the trunk of her car. Something about this man that made her emotions go haywire every time he was in close proximity.

Within minutes, Grissom was at her side to return the wrench.

"Sara… can we talk?" Grissom asked quietly.

"Now is not a good time Griss…" She was trying so very hard not to break down in front of him and he was not helping.

"When will it be a good time for you?"

Never… there will never be a good time to talk… not anymore… Instead Sara replied wearily, "What is it that you want from me?"

"I just want to know if you are alright."

"For the record, I am quite alright so you can just go home and …" Sara stopped short of …and cuddle up with your fiancée and prepare for your new life together…

He could feel the exasperation in her voice. He did not dare to say anything more than simply stated, "You don't look like it."

"Thanks but I think I have had better days." She continued before he had the chance to interrupt her. "Look, I have just finished pulling a double shift on a rape case in Henderson and quite frankly, I am so physically drained right now that I don't think I am a very good person to hold a conversation with."

"I am here now if you want to talk about it." He offered.

"Wow Grissom, I see all that shrink stuff is rubbing off on you." Shit, did she just say that? Great job Sidle… "I am so sorry Griss. I didn't mean it… shouldn't have said anything. Just a bad habit of over talking when you're around."

Seeing that Grissom wasn't about to comment, Sara automatically gave him a forced smile, "You look great. I have never seen you dress up except for court."

"Thank you." He could barely get the words out as he looked into her pained eyes.

"Hey, um… I… I haven't gotten the chance to personally congratulate you on your impending wedding… so…um… congratulations… I am happy for you…" There, she said it and managed to pull it off with her dignity still intact.

"Are you?"

"Excuse me?" His question caught her off guard.

"Are you really happy about it?" Grissom did not know if he wanted to hear her answer.

"My happiness doesn't calculate into this equation." She crossed her arms in front of her and looked away from him toward the night lights of Las Vegas in the distance.

"It does to me."

"Look Griss, you are getting married tomorrow and moving on with your life and I, as a friend… and I really hope that we're still friends… am supposed to be happy for you…" Sara took a deep breath and surveyed her feet, "I will be lying if I say that I am happy about it… but you made your decision and I respect that… so I…" You can do this Sidle… hold yourself together… do not humiliate yourself by breaking down now…

"What are you asking me to do Sara?" Grissom was fighting his inner demons concerning this beautiful woman in front of him and held onto that last ounce of will power that was preventing him from taking her in his arms, wiping away her tears and telling her that everything would be alright. He should do something but instead he just stood there, immobile.

"I am not asking you to do anything… I am not asking you to love me Griss… I… all I am asking is… is to let me love you and apparently… that's still not enough." Grissom was stunned. He was at a lost for words and before he could put together something coherent, Sara just turned and walked toward the driver side door of her car, "You know what… just… just forget about it…"

Careful Gil… You are starting a new chapter of your life tomorrow… Let her go… But he did not listen to his rational mind this time. Instead, he grabbed Sara with both hands, quickly backed her up against her car and kissed her like he had fantasized so many times before. After the initial shock, the kiss was returned with the fierceness of its own.

Before things could get out of hand in a very public place, Sara slipped out of Grissom's embrace and just stared at him as her left fingers absently touched her lower lip.

"Sara… I…" His voice was hoarse.

"Don't do this to me Griss… I don't want to be the other woman…" She was barely audible.

"I…" His tongue failed him again.

She waited a whole minute before uttering, "I see…" She nodded to herself as she steeled her heart for the last goodbye.

Before Grissom and Sara had the chance to say anything else, they both turned their heads toward the blinding headlights of a red pickup truck that was plowing directly at them.


TBC