Tokka Week 2015

2. I Hope You're Happy

I hope you're happy.

Truly. I feel the need to say it, because I know there's been a tension between us over the years, and I don't want that to linger in your mind. Or Sokka's. Because, whatever else I had hoped for, I do care about Sokka, and it would be a sorry thanks to the happiness he gave me to take away from his own happiness.

It's hard to give up your first love. I'll admit that readily. Maybe it's because it's my first love, or maybe it's because my heart is softer than I thought, but for the longest time I thought that meant it was meant to be. I see how foolish that is now. How could I think like that, knowing of Sokka's own first love? Was I immune to disappointment, to heartbreak? Of course not. Surely I experienced that even when I still had hope.

I didn't know how much you meant to him when I started getting close to him. If I had recognized that, perhaps it wouldn't have hurt so much. Perhaps I wouldn't have tried to hold on to him as long as I did. Here I was, this rough and tumble Earth Kingdom girl, and I thought I was just what Sokka needed. Well, I was close. I just didn't realize I wasn't the only rough and tumble kind of girl out there.

Sometimes I want to laugh about it all. At least you understand! You know just as well as I do how oblivious Sokka can be, and yet how sweet. How sometimes he'll encourage your ideas with reckless enthusiasm, and other times he'll bluntly shoot them down. I've never known someone so brave, so sincere, so funny. I shouldn't be surprised that someone else recognized his qualities. In fact, I ought to congratulate you for being so perceptive.

But you'll never see this letter. As much as I feel the need to address this, and as much as I keep turning the words over and over in my mind, trying to pin down just the right sentiment, the written word is of no use to the blind. So that's what this letter will always be: unwritten. No other medium or mediator seems adequate to express my thoughts, but I'll try my best to live by these words so that someday you might understand.

It's just as well, though, isn't it? I thought this letter was for you, but the more I recite it to myself the more I realize it's all for me. I'm the one who needs to move on, not you. You've reached your happy ending.

Or, at least, I hope you have.