Chapter Two: Christmas Movies
Or…
How Many Times Can Elmo Save Christmas?
"What is the first thing we might do to begin the process of celebrating Christmas?" Starfire's innocent question rang out throughout the Ops Room.
Raven slammed her book shut, irritably commenting, "Perhaps you should go out and buy pointless items for the materialistic snobs of Jump City. I'm sure that would help you celebrate the massacred meaning of Christmas that seems to be everywhere today." She was getting very annoyed with all of this Christmas talk, and decided to take a leaf out of Beast Boy's book; completing her comment with a few hand gestures (many of which are too obscene to be repeated).
"Yeah! Do that! Except, instead of materialistic snobs, buy me gifts!" Beast Boy decided happily, "That would be very much in the Christmas spirit." He winked in Starfire's direction, only resulting in a giggling Starfire and an angered Robin.
Raven raised an eyebrow and scoffed, "Wouldn't that be the same thing as buying things for materialistic snobs?"
Robin shook his head, and taking Starfire's hand, led Starfire over to the couch, this resulted in more giggles from the Tamarian princess, "Maybe we could watch some good old Christmas movies. That ought to put you in the Christmas spirit." He smiled as Starfire happily sat on the couch, still holding the standing Robin's hand.
"Movies?" Beast Boy immediately perked up, ears and all, as he turned to the two Titans, and barely able to keep the joy out of his voice asked, "Did I hear that we're watching a movie?"
Robin turned to Starfire, "If Star wants to." He gave Starfire's hand a little squeeze, making said Starfire feel… important. And that was saying a lot, seeing as how she was a princess for fifteen years of her life.
Starfire blushed, hands still locked with Robin's, and bashfully looked away, "I believed I do want to."
"Well if that ain't the cutest thing you've ever darn seen?" Cyborg said with a vicious smile as he plopped himself down on the couch- right in between the lovesick teens, and still wearing a vindictive smile turned to Robin, "So… what are we watching?"
Robin shrugged, ignoring Cyborg's comment (After a long conversation with Raven… and Starfire… it had been decided since the 'girlfriend' incident, as it was deemed, that it was best to ignore comments that Cyborg made- or else, Raven warned him, risk not having Starfire as a girlfriend at all. Robin would not admit it of course, but he did not want to risk his chances of having Starfire as a girlfriend, for that was the very thing he lay awake at night dreaming of, and sometimes, not so awake.), "Whatever Starfire wants."
Starfire blinked, "I may choose?" she asked excitedly, "Oh… thank you Robin! There is one movie I have seen… and now that I fully understand the concept of the Christmas," Starfire colored slightly, "I… have been yearning to watch it." She put her hands in begging position, to seal the deal.
"Go ahead," Robin said giving Starfire the right to proceed.
Starfire squealed, and gave Robin a quick squeeze, before jovially flying off to grab the movie of her choice.
Cyborg's only response was a large, overly-dramatic wink in Robin's direction. Robin replied by glaring back, but deciding to bite his tongue. It was better for him to lose his pride to Cyborg than lose his almost-what-he-hoped-to-be-but-did-not-want-to-admit-it girlfriend (or possibly more). Beast Boy himself, well, Beast Boy, obliviously… ate popcorn. Mind you, extremely buttery and unhealthy popcorn as Raven kindly informed Beast Boy, it would most likely clog his arteries faster than he could say 'heart attack'.
Only a little while later did Starfire come bounding through the door. Quickly pushing the video into the VCR, before anyone could even ask what video she had chosen, Starfire slid next to Robin on the couch. Much too close for Robin's comfort, and yet much too far for Robin's comfort at the same time.
"I truly hope you all shall enjoy this movie as much as I have anticipated to enjoy it," Starfire said sweetly to her friends, but glancing at Robin specifically.
Robin smiled foolishly down at Starfire, "I'm sure we will Starfire."
Starfire smiled back, and quickly folded her long legs beneath her. Robin smiled back. Both teens wore identical love sick grins that made others, namely Raven, sick. Raven rolled her eyes at the antics of the two. Beast Boy continued to eat popcorn, completely ignoring the tender moments passing, and threw some popcorn up into the air and attempted to catch some in his mouth. Needless to say, within a ten foot radius, the carpet was littered with popcorn. Cyborg decided instead of verbal abuse, to do something… more annoying. He nudged Robin and gave him another enormous wink. Robin still ignored him, it took every ounce of control he had, but he ignored him.
"So… what's this movie Star?" Beast Boy asked eagerly, "Is it 'Girls Gone Wild Part Ten'? I've been wanting to see that one for ages. And I'm sure Robin would like to see it too."
"No, I wouldn't," Robin said quickly, and firmly, in hopes Starfire didn't know what 'Girls Gone Wild Part Ten' was.
"Oh… no we are not watching your girls of wild movie. I believe the movie we are watching is called Elmo Saves Christmas. It is about when Elmo, this adorably, furry red creature gets to see if there is such a thing as too much Christmas," Starfire explained to her fellow open-mouthed Titans.
Beast Boy snorted, "There is no such thing as too much Christmas! So this movie is pointless!"
"Starfire… where did you find this movie?" Robin asked carefully.
Starfire tilted her head, "From your room of course."
Beast Boy, in the middle of eating a piece of popcorn, began to laugh at this information. In fact, he laughed so hard that he cried out, hands around his neck, "I'm choking on popcorn!" Unfortunately for him, no one considered it to be an actual threat to Beast Boy's health, or cared enough to see if he was truly choking.
Well… except for Raven, who hit Beast Boy on the back repeatedly, muttering just loud enough for the rest of the room to hear, "Choke, choke, choke, choke…"
Unfortunately, her chant went unanswered, as a moment later, Beast Boy swallowed the piece of popcorn. Eyes watering he called out, "I'm okay!"
Robin ignored Beast Boy and Raven, focusing his attention on Starfire instead, "Starfire…" he questioned warily, "Why were you in my room?"
"Well, I was doing the laundry… as it was my duty. And somehow… your own clothes were in the wash with mine… so I took them and put them in your drawers for you," Starfire explained with a smile, "I wished to be helpful. While there, I saw this buried in one of your drawers… and I have had an urge to see the movie. It seemed like such a timeless tale."
"But… all of his clothes are hanging up…" Beast Boy said confused, now fully recovered from his choking escapade.
Raven rolled her eyes and pointed out, "Obviously not all of them… or Starfire wouldn't have put them away in his drawers, oh Smart One."
Beast Boy however, still was sure he was right, and that he was going to be right over Raven, and continued arguing, "But I've been in his room! I've worn his clothes! All of his clothes are in his closet! His belt! His uniform! His mask!" With each article of clothing he mentioned, Beast Boy gestured to the part of the body they should be located at.
"Obviously Sherlocks, you're not thinking outside of the box," Raven said dryly, and finished the comment with a roll of her eyes.
"What?" Beast Boy asked, clearly perplexed, "I mean… what else is there to wear?"
"Man… she put his underwear away!" Cyborg explained, clearly frustrated for having to spell this out for Beast Boy to get the blackmail.
"Oh…" a look of realization drew upon Beast Boy's face, quickly followed by a look of confusion, "Well… why didn't she just say that?"
Robin was beginning to wonder if scarlet was his natural skin tone…
"Friends please commence in the hushing… I wish to watch this movie," Starfire politely told her friends, having blocked out their entire conversation before quickly turning back to the Sesame Street production.
Cyborg, on the other side of Robin, leaned into Robin's ear and began to whisper extremely quietly, because this was a whisper that only men could hear. In fact, what he whispered was so vulgar, it made Robin turn twice as red as it was customary for him to turn.
"You're dead, you know," Robin said darkly, crossing his arms and willing the color in his cheeks to go away.
Cyborg looked extremely satisfied with himself, "Finally I got some response out of you, I was beginning to think you were actually taking those anger management classes, like the team suggested."
"You're such a pervert," Robin hissed.
Cyborg scoffed, "Like you weren't already thinking it."
Robin paused, unable to deny the comment, instead going with a simple, and yet timeless, "… shut up." And then turning his head away from Cyborg, and focusing on the red puppet on the television screen.
---
Starfire clasped her hands together and sighed deeply, "Was that not the most beautiful movie ever created? I believe we should watch it simply once more. To gain the full impact of it…"
"NO!" the four voices of the Titans echoed simultaneously. The voices were very loud, and very unified, causing Starfire to back away slightly in fear that she had done something wrong.
"I mean… Star, it was good the first five times. But around the tenth time… I think it began to lose its Elmo-ness," Beast Boy told the alien.
Raven commented, "I mean… how many times can Elmo possibly save Christmas?"
"I suppose…" Starfire admitted sadly, as she trailed off, glancing at Robin from the corner of her eye.
Robin smiled at her, "Starfire… you know we could watch another movie. Just not this one… again. We can save it for next year. If you watch it too many times… the movie might not become quite as special anymore." Robin punctured each word with hand gestures such as; nodding, swirls of his hands, anything to distract Starfire from forcing them to watch the movie once more.
Starfire beamed, "Yes, I believe you are correct. Now excuse me friends… I am off to Robin's room once again to retrieve another video."
The Titans gave Robin an odd look. After all… it was not customary for their brave, emotionless leader Robin to have… so many childish Christmas movies.
"How many children's movies do you have Robin?" Raven asked with a raised eyebrow.
"… It was going to be a gift for Batman okay? A joke," Robin declared, though all the same, flushing.
---
"So… Starfire… which movie have you chosen for us to be tortured with next?" Raven asked in a monotone. Her only sign of even slight approval was the un-crossing of her arms.
Starfire frowned, "I'm afraid I was not able to choose between two," Raven's cutting tone going completely over Starfire's head.
"Which are they?" Raven persisted, not quite able to keep the curiosity out of her voice.
"How The Grinch Stole Christmas, for I do ever-so admire Dr. Seuss. For I wish to see how he, the Grinch, recaptures the Christmas spirit of which seemed so lost in his miniscule heart," Starfire explained to her fellow Titans, not looking up from the videos in her hands.
Beast Boy gave a nod of approvement, "I think Raven could take that one to heart- ow! That doesn't mean you can hit me over the head!"
Raven shrugged, "What doesn't meant I can't hit you over the head?"
Beast Boy paused, weighing the comment in his mind, "What?"
"What's the other choice Star?" Robin asked eagerly, interrupting Raven and Beast Boy's banter, wondering what was giving his beloved so much stress to choose between.
"Barney: Waiting for Christmas, but of course my silly little Robin!" Starfire chirped happily, to the dismay of her fellow Titans, and adding to their great amusement, "Did you not already inform me you hold it very dear to your own heart?"
Robin sunk down lower on the couch, hoping to avoid the inquisitive stares of his teammates. Okay, now it was official, he was never going to live this Christmasdown.
