Mrs. Figg grimaced. "Why me? I lived near the Muggles, I don't need to read about them!"
"I have a feeling you will be the least shocked of all us," said Remus. "Besides Harry, that is."
Mrs. Figg cleared his throat. Book One Chapter One
….
"Oh, yes!" Hermione snapped. "They're practically perfect in every way!"
Harry and Remus suppressed snorts while the Purebloods looked on confused. "Mary Poppins is a character from a Muggle movie," Remus explained. "I don't think you've heard of it. "
….
"No imagination!" Tonks huffed.
Harry grinned at his godfather's cousin. "I think we soon establish that my relatives don't have any."
"That requires a functioning brain!" Sirius pointed out through the mirror
Remus sighed. A moody Sirius made a very long book. "Continue, Arabella,"
…
"The things these Muggles think of," sighed Arthur Weasley.
Hermione looked thoughtful. "Did you ever take Muggle Studies, you would've liked it."
"It wasn't offered when I was in school."
…
Harry snorted. Everything about his uncle was large.
…
"If only Petunia would keep an eye on that atrocious son of hers!" snapped Mrs. Figg.
"When do we learn about your cousin, mate?" Ron asked.
…
"Oh, there he is. " He turned to the twins, who were grinning. "What are you two on about?"
"We're just thinking of all the ways…"started George
"…he must have been made fun of as a kid…
"With a name like Dudley!" they finished together.
Mrs. Figg was the only one who didn't chuckle at their antics. She knew, after all, that it was not Dudley who had been bullied all his life but the messy-haired boy sitting across from her. She should have done something. Alerted Dumbledore. But it was in the past and now all she wanted to do was make it up to Harry.
…
"The hatred has been since Lily's Hogwarts letter to be exact," sighed Dumbledore.
…
"Thank Merlin for being different than those goons, " said Tonks.
"Hear, hear," chorused the Marauders and the twins.
…
"You'd never met your aunt and uncle before living with them?" Mrs. Weasley asked, horrified.
"Of course not," Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "James and Lily wouldn't put him through that."
…
"It's as if you have a disease or something?" shrieked Ginny
Mrs. Figg nodded sadly. "One of the kinder names they attributed to Harry, dear."
"Dare I ask the others," Remus growled.
…
"Foolish of them," McGonagall muttered, speaking for the first time.
…
"He could pick among the ties?" Tonks asked surprised. Sirius looked gratefully at her, when he heard Harry chuckle.
…
Fred grinned. "See, Mum, compared to this git…"
"We're the golden children," George finished.
"Oh this is the boy's best behavior," Figg hissed.
….
"These people are daft even for Muggles! "
"Miss Tonks!" McGonagall scolded.
"Hey, Tonks?"
"Yeah, Harry."
"What's your real name?"
Sirius seemed on the verge of saying something, but Tonks was quicker. "Say anything, and I will reach through that mirror and hex you, Black!"
"Sorry, I brought it up," Harry whispered to Remus.
"Don't worry cub," he laughed. "That may be a magic mirror, but it's still solid. They won't be able to get at each other."
...
"Sweet Godric, what a ghastly brat!" snapped Hermione. There were sounds of agreement around the room.
…
"Bet that went over well," Ron chortled.
…
"That would require him to think at all, wouldn't it?" said the two Marauders together.
The Weasley children, Harry, Hermione, and Tonks laughed
…
"Professor, is that you?" Harry asked as understanding dawned on him.
McGonagall gave him a nod.
…
"It seems you father and godfather were masters of that, Mr. Potter, otherwise my constant threats of detention would have deterred them from playing pranks." Despite her sternness she was wearing a slight smile.
"Oi," Sirius yelled from the mirror. "What about Moony, he planned a lot of them."
"You did?" Tonks asked amazed. She had trouble imagining the bookish ex-professor doing anything of the sort.
"Yes," Remus laughed. "The ones that didn't land us in detention!"
…
"What's wrong with cloaks?" Ron wondered.
"They aren't considered traditional in the Muggle world, " Hermione explained.
…
"It seems to me that this man can't bear people at all," spoke up Mr. Weasley.
"That's really sad," sighed Ginny.
"That's my uncle."
…
"Yes, let's all draw more attention to ourselves," muttered McGonagall
…
"Ah, yes, I believe Elphias and I were there that day." Before McGonagall could say anything Dumbledore patted her on the arm. "And considering what day it was, Minerva, I believe a few allowances can be made for the sake of merriment"
The two canines growled. Merriment indeed,
…
"Yes, that would be it!" Sirius cried in mock triumph.
…
"Hey I'm a Seer."
Harry smirked, "Truly amazing, Sirius."
…
"And what an interesting topic that is!" Tonks scoffed.
"Young lady," Mrs. Figg snapped, "Between you, and your cousin I will never get this chapter done."
Both of the chastised people sulked, Tonks's changed her hair to its original mousy brown in protest.
…
"Git," Ron whispered to Hermione. Figg glared at him.
…
"Anger seems to be a very frequent emotion for him, doesn't it?"
"You've no idea, Professor…"
"Remus, Harry. Call me Remus," the man instructed while frowning at his answer.
…
Least we've still got Harry... This seemed to appease the wolf inside Remus, whose eyes went back to their original color.
…
"Thank Merlin, we've had a breakthrough."
"Harry!"
"Yes Mrs. Weasley?" He smiled sweetly.
…
Harry couldn't help but gag at the prospect.
…
"Sirius and I are quite happy to consider your mum our sister, Harry," Remus whispered, squeezing the boy's shoulder.
"Thanks, guys." The nodding animagus winked.
….
"Oh, bloody hell, you're stupid," said Ginny.
…
"The man wasn't seriously injured, I hope?" fretted Mrs. Weasley.
…
"It's okay, you two," Harry comforted the saddened Marauders. "My dad would've wanted everyone to be happy. It's okay."
…
"Gutsy bloke, that one," quipped George in an effort to lighten the mood. Tonks smiled at him.
…
"Could you demonstrate, Professor?"
"You've probably seen it many times Frederick," his mother snapped.
…
Hermione raised her eyebrows, giggling.
…
"How lovely," snapped Tonks.
…
"Was that supposed to be a joke?" asked Sirius.
…
"Her crowd!" came several shouts.
"Yes curse Lily for being the brightest witch in her year." Remus snarled.
"Rather modest of you, Remus." Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling. "You and Miss Evans were equally intelligent."
The werewolf blushed.
…
"Harry's a nice name!" Ginny spoke up. "Loads better than Dudley!"
…
"Unfortunately, he's wrong," Remus sighed
…
"I wish he hadn't been. Wrong, I mean."
"Oh Harry," Hermione said sadly.
…
"What going on?"
"Let the woman read, and you'll find out, Ronald!"
…
"Take a bow, take a bow!" the twins chanted.
"Boys!" Molly scolded. "Oh, Albus, I hope you aren't doing what I think you're doing!"
McGonagall and the Marauders scowled at him.
…
"Indeed, I knew," said Dumbledore.
…
"Where did you think I was that whole day, Albus?" asked McGonagall, her eyes narrowing. "Out for a stroll?"
"I find strolls can be rather leisurely," Dumbledore replied, ignoring the dig.
…
Mrs. Figg looked from the book to the Transfiguration professor and back again. "A very accurate description Harry."
The teen paled. "Mrs. Figg, I didn't write this."
…
"Well, I imagine you were rather stiff at this point," Tonks mused. "I would be, anyway."
…
"See!"
"No one doubted you, Tonks," laughed Ron
…
Fred and George grinned.
"Do. Not. Comment," Molly snarled.
…
"Well, Dedalus should know better." Mrs. Weasley snapped. "Could've exposed the lot of us. "
"I meant him, you know," said Harry remembering suddenly. "At the Leaky Cauldron, the first time I went to Diagon Alley."
"Who did take you to Diagon the first time?" inquired Sirius his spirits rising.
"Not telling," Harry teased. He stuck out his tongue at his godfather, who had begun to pout.
…
"Seemed much longer than that," said Arthur.
…
"Rumors about me," Harry muttered under his breath, quickly lowering his eyes when Ron and Hermione looked his way. He didn't need their pity.
…
"You know something we don't, Dumbledore?" Sirius accused the man, on whose orders he was confined in his wretched childhood home.
"Sirius…" Remus warned rubbing his temples. A foul Sirius was about as pleasant as a Blast-Ended Skrewt.
"I never presume to know more than others, Sirius," Dumbledore replied calmly.
The animagus did not respond which Mrs. Figg took as her cue to keep reading.
…
Harry looked at the mirror, and Sirius smiled back unclenching his fists.
…
The book nearly fell out of Mrs. Figg's hand, as she shivered. McGonagall and the Weasleys winced.
…
"I know you haven't, Albus!"
…
Dumbledore inclined his head.
….
"Bit too much information," Tonks giggled. "I wouldn't want to be you if Madame Pomfrey finds out."
…
There was a moment of silence as everyone bowed his or her head in remembrance. Remus, who seemed to sense how badly Sirius wanted to psychically be there for Harry, mussed the teen's hair himself.
…
"Petal," whispered Sirius fondly.
"Huh?"
"Your dad's nickname for your mum," he answered.
…
"What's Hagrid doing there?" asked Ron.
"What I should have done!" Sirius answered bitterly. "The one time I took 'no' for an answer, and look what happened."
"Don't blame yourself, Sirius," Harry pleaded.
"Who else is to blame, pup?"
"Me." Remus looked guiltily at the ground.
"Neither of you raised your wand to murder them," said Harry, stubbornly. "Don't torture yourselves!"
…
This was enough to recapture Remus's attention. "You will NOT," he snarled, "leave Harry with that that cow!"
"I had my reasons." Dumbledore defended, half-heartedly
"The number of times Lily cried on our shoulders about that woman!" cried Sirius.
"He was safe there..."
"He would've been safe with ME!"
"You were in Azkaban…."
"Remus, then. Or Molly and Arthur."
"We would certainly have taken him in a heartbeat…"
He would've grown up with boys his own age!" Remus continued. "Ron and Fred and George!"
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Harry shouted, startling them all. "We could argue about where I might've grown up all day long, but it won't do us any good! So STOP IT!" Exhausted, he plopped back down between Ron and Hermione, and, for a minute, everyone was too startled to say anything.
"Thank you, Harry," said Dumbledore quietly.
"I didn't do it for you," Harry grumbled.
"Let's read, shall we?" suggested Arthur. "We can have this discussion later."
"You can bet we will!" Sirius hissed. "As soon as I'm out of this hellhole!"
…
"Thank you, Minerva, for at least trying to talk sense into him." Molly Weasley huffed. Hermione and Tonks nodded their heads in agreement.
"I ought to have tried harder."
…
"A letter?" Molly gasped.
"Well, Mum, I doubt Harry's aunt and uncle are pleasant to look at," Fred reasoned, trying to lighten the mood
"They're not," Harry and Marauders confirmed.
"So you can't blame the man for…"
"I most certainly can!"
"I appreciate the effort boys," Dumbledore sighed.
…
"Listen to her, for Merlin's sake?" This was the recently silent Tonks.
…
"Don't worry, kiddo, " Remus laughed. "It didn't happen."
"But it's a good idea." George stroked his chin.
Ginny smacked her brother other the head,
…
"You just had to predict that?" Harry groaned.
"Which part?" asked Tonks cheerfully "The books or the fame?"
"Both!"
….
Harry shuddered at the thought of the vividly horrible dreams he had had as a child.
…
"Well Hagrid has been known to keep odd things in his cloak, hasn't he?" Ron pondered.
"Wonder what strangest thing he had in there was," said Ginny curiously.
The trio gulped.
"Did we miss something?" George inquired.
"Should be in the book."
…
"And I still would," Dumbledore confirmed.
"Maybe you should be more careful about that," fretted Molly. "I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place but Hagrid can be quite careless sometimes."
…
Molly nodded as if validated.
…
"I think I know what it is," said Sirius, smiling.
…
" Yes, I loved that thing!"
Remus sighed, "You still had that menace of a bike? And Harry rode on it." He could just imagine Lily Potter turning in her grave.
…
"Harry," Remus whispered faintly.
The teen reached behind Hermione to pat his honorary uncle on the shoulder. "I'm right here."
…
"Do you think we could…"
"…take it for a spin, Sirius?"
Harry smirked fondly, remembering the twins' experiences with flying vehicles.
"Sorry, boys, but I never got it back."
"Such a shame," Molly huffed sarcastically.
….
Harry held up his hands in defense. "Again, I didn't write this."
…
"Aw, Baby Harry!" gushed Tonks. "I just love babies." All the women made similar cooing sounds, causing the Harry to turn a bright shade of red.
"That's probably the first time you ever slept," Remus mused. "You never wanted to miss a thing when you were little."
…
"Potter hair!" Sirius cheered.
…
"Could you?" Harry asked hopefully, "could you do something?"
"I cannot," Albus answered. "The mark of a Dark curse is permanent."
…
The Marauders sighed. Must they always be reminded of what happened to their fallen friends?
…
"Not particularly comforting," said Hermione.
…
"What in Godric's name is wrong with you?" hollered Molly Weasley.
She looked more livid than her children would've thought possible (which was a feat in itself) it was Sirius who was quivering with rage. "A doorstep!" he seethed. "You left my godson on a BLOODY DOORSTEP DUMBLEDORE?"
"And you Minerva," Remus hissed in a deadly voice. "You sat back and allowed it."
McGonagall ducked her head,
….
"No business!" Remus scoffed. "You had no business being there in the first place, and neither did Harry."
Molly Weasley looked on the verge of sobbing. "He was just a little boy Albus."
…
"I should've been taking you away on that very bike," Sirius muttered more to himself than to Harry,
…
"You should've done more than wished him good luck!"
…
"And let me assure you, she has lungs." Figg shivered. "You could hear the woman down in Magnolia Crescent."
"We can imagine."
…
"Well that's the end of the chapter," Mrs. Figg announced closing the book with a snap.
No one moved to take it. Everyone was either glaring at the headmaster or shooting sympathetic looks in Harry's direction. After a few uncomfortable minutes. Tonks cleared her throat.
"I guess I'll continue then."
