Here goes nothing…
-----
The hatch in the Atlantis opened and the drop ship went into the drop ship room on a slow moving platform. It stopped halfway.
"Aida?" Dalton asked.
"I thought I told Isaac to oil that platform or it'll just keep getting stuck." Aida said. "Isaac, get your ass over here!"
Isaac came in with a small oil tank and applied it to the hinges on the platform, then he left. The platform came up as it should.
"First Officer Aida returning command of the ship to you, sir. Ship's Engineer Isaac is running around oiling things, and Ship's Pilot Ne'Ban has the con."
"It's good to be back." Dalton said.
"Really? I thought you enjoyed playing soldiers with your pal Hawkins." Aida commented.
"Not as fun as it looks." Dalton replied, "I had to salute him three times, then salute his hologram twelve times, say 'Sir, yes Sir!' at the end of half my sentences, and Drexler didn't even make me a marine."
"But he gave you a T shirt?" Aida said.
"Oh yeah…" Dalton said blushing, realising he was wearing the wannabe marine T shirt over the top of his armour.
"While you were docking, we received a distress call from the Elara star system." Aida said.
"That was quick. And while I was docking, no-one was even in your office to receive the distress call!" Dalton jeered. "You and Isaac were over here!"
"Shut up Dalton." Aida said through gritted teeth. "Anyway, we're already en route. Would you like to take an inspection tour of the ship and meet our new pilot, or go right to the briefing room for the mission?"
Two options flicked onto the side of Dalton's vision, and he still wasn't use to this. Dalton swung his fist up to knock away the choices, but only succeeded in whacking himself in the face, getting himself a black eye.
"It will be another three months before the onboard medic returns from Severnaya." Aida said before Dalton asked. "For now you can wear a pirate's eye patch."
Dalton decided to do a tour of the ship, and went up to meet Ne'Ban. Before he entered the bridge, he could here Ne'Ban going "I do not need oiling Isaac!"
"Sure you do!" Isaac growled.
Dalton ran into the room to see Isaac trying to drown Ne'Ban with oil. "Stop this!" Dalton yelled, shooting Isaac in the leg with his Dispersion Pistol.
"The runt was trying to steal my DVD collection!" Isaac said, hopping around on one foot and spilling oil all over the floor.
"Isaac, clean up that oil." Dalton demanded.
"The ship's efficiency went over up 20% with that oiling." Ne'Ban said, but Isaac had already left in search of a mop.
"Hello, new pilot." Dalton said. "One thing you need to know… If I wish to go to a beach party, you don't stop me."
"Aye-aye-aye Sir." Ne'Ban said.
"Now, what was it like where you came from?" Dalton asked curiously.
"Sorry captain, I am occupied territory. Perhaps some other time?" Ne'Ban said.
"But you have hardly said anything!" Dalton replied.
"Sorry captain, I am occupied territory. Perhaps some other time?"
"Are you ignoring me?!" Dalton replied exasperatedly.
"Sorry captain, I am occupied territory. Perhaps some other time?"
"Fine. Press your stupid buttons on the control panel and fly us safely to Sanctuary. See if I care." Dalton angrily strode out of the room. A pause. Then:
"Sorry captain, I am occupied territory. Perhaps some other time?"
-----
"We're headed for Sanctuary, the fifth planet in the Elara System. It's an earth-style world with a dense jungle covering. It's currently uninhabited, except for a Liandri mining operation." Aida stopped talking as Dalton put his hand up like a school boy in class. "Yes, Dalton?"
"Who are Liandri?" Dalton asked quietly.
Aida stared blankly at Dalton. "Are you joking?"
Dalton shook his head.
"Liandri is the universes largest mining corporation, and you FORGOT?!?" Aida yelled.
"In my defence I didn't play the first Unreal Tournament game so I don't have a bloody clue." Dalton said.
"Moving on to the distress call." Aida said, activating a distress call from her keyboard.
"Mayday! Mayday! This is the Liandri Station Lima Six on Sanctuary. We're in trouble down here. The facility has been overrun by hostile aliens. We don't know what the hell they are or where they came from. Multiple casualties. Please assist! Oh, and if you have any hamburger relish, bring that as well! My burger isn't the same without it!" The message said.
"That's it. I don't know who is attacking them or why, or if it has anything to do with burgers. Let's look at the main base in the holotank." A hologram building popped up. "The Liandri complex has two components. The ore processing unit grinds up the rocks and extracts precious minerals. This bit here is the McDonalds where they must have got the burger." Aida tapped some more buttons. "Here is the nearest entrance from your drop point. Good luck down there. Isaac should be waiting across the hall to do your weapons load out. If not, you'll probably find him in his cabin sleeping one off, or trying again to assassinate Ne'Ban. I'll be right here if you have any further questions."
"Well I do have one question." Dalton asked. "You still haven't told me what Liandri is."
"IT'S A MINING CORPORATION!" Aida yelled, throwing coffee over Dalton. Dalton screamed like a banshee and ran from the room.
-----
"…Very effective overall - you can hose down an area with primary fire, or deliver a single lethal punch with the alt-fire." Isaac said, stoking the cold metallic surface of a Combat Assault Rifle like it was a cat. Maybe he needed a CARcat.
"By the way, do you have a singularity cannon for my mission?" Dalton asked.
"No." Isaac said slowly, "You shouldn't even know about them until they fall off the Tosc's arms."
"I have a feeling that I'm not meant to know about that gun at this stage." Dalton said. "But it was so cool! It went Brooowm-Kashoooom as I shot at someone! Then the person went 'AAAHH!!' as they exploded with a PI-PEUUUUUW noise!!"
"Right. Whatever you say boss." Isaac said, shoving Dalton out of his office.
Dalton got into his drop ship, making sure the crate of hamburger relish was secure, and flew over to Sanctuary.
