"Chakotay, what do you think about the stew? Neelix helped me with it. I did discourage him from adding certain ingredients, so I think you're safe."

Chakotay put his spoon beside the dish. "It's delicious Kathryn, possibly your best interpretation to date."

"Well thank you. It's not the same as my mother's, but then nothing could be," she replied, coming back to the table with a jug of water.

She watched him out of the corner of her eye as she rearranged some of the dishes on their table. He'd seemed a bit more rested today, but the report she got from Harry last night had worried her, and she knew she'd have to bring it up, if only for her own peace of mind.

"You know this wave of ours has everyone stumped."

"Stumped?" Chakotay asked.

Kathryn waved her hand in amusement, "confused. B'Elanna can't workout why it keeps changing colour."

"Is it really important?"

Kathryn sat back in her chair a little. She observed Chakotay's posture, or lack of it, and leant forward again. "We're explorers Chakotay, an insatiable curiosity about the world around us is part of the job."

"I guess so, I just…" Chakotay stared behind Kathryn. It was the wave again, the colours were changing. Chakotay moved out of his chair and walked the few steps to Kathryn's windows.

Orange, blue, purple… then he saw something else. Between the colours there were shapes, they were so familiar, and then all of a sudden they were foreign again.

"Chakotay,"

Without turning around he heard a voice that wasn't Kathryn's.

It was her.

She wasn't screaming this time. Instead, she softly cried. Chakotay closed his eyes, he couldn't hear her here. He wasn't in his room, and he was pretty sure he wasn't asleep.

"Chakotay? What's going on?"

He heard her, Kathryn this time. He could still hear the baby, but he also couldn't ignore his captain. He turned towards her waiting face, and to his side he could hear the baby more clearly.

"Kathryn, can you hear that?"

Kathryn followed the direction of Chakotay's gaze, "hear what Chakotay?"

He looked back at her, "the baby. I hear her. She's coming from the other room." Chakotay pointed in the direction of Kathryn's bedroom. "I know you must think I'm crazy but I'm awake and I can hear her. Can I please check?"

"Chakotay I…" Kathryn stopped and saw how obviously distraught he appeared, so she nodded her head, and allowed him to walk in front of her to the other room.

He stopped at the entrance with his eyes focused on an area at the end of her bed. He turned back to Kathryn. "There she is. Kathryn this is only the second time I've seen her, and she's as real as you are."

Chakotay leaned down and sat on Kathryn's bed. He looked at the child, then up at Kathryn who was mildly startled at his presence in her room. He had to stop the thoughts he was having, as he noticed the child shared the same piercing blue eyes as his captain.

"What is it Chakotay?" she asked.

"Last night when I saw her I reached out to her, but she disappeared. I'm afraid if I do it again I'll lose her."

Kathryn wasn't sure she had ever seen Chakotay like this before. He was looking at what he believed was a child, and there was such vulnerability in his expression that it pained her. "Chakotay," she said as she reached a hand out to his. "I don't understand this."

"You said something about us being explorers."

She nodded.

"Then help me explore this. Help me understand why this child is here—"

"I can't see her Chakotay."

"It's ok Kathryn, there was a time when I couldn't see her either."

Chakotay squeezed her hand. "I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?"

"Always," she managed.

He started to guide her hand towards the bed, and following the action, she knelt down so she was beside it. "She's following your hand now. Can you lean your head over just a little so she can see you?"

Kathryn could only estimate where Chakotay thought the child was, but she managed to move with him. "I'm not sure what to do," she said.

"If you touch her head, she may not disappear."

She wanted to ask Chakotay why he believed she would have any affect on the child staying, a child he could only see, and a delusion she started to question whether she should be indulging. But the softness in his gaze, the quiet desperation in his voice, and the gentle way he held her hand, made her want to believe in anything he chose to see.

"Guide me," she said quietly.

He was smiling at something now. He must have heard her, but he was looking down at this little her that had grabbed his attention. She watched her hand, guided by his, she moved her hand slowly above the blanket on her bed. She estimated it was hovering right above where he imagined the baby would be.

"There, can you feel her? She has the softest looking dark hair. There's only a little of it, but she's young still. If she's anything like you, she'll have a full head of hair soon enough."

Kathryn's eyes widened as she pulled back her hand from Chakotay's grasp.

The baby started screaming at the loss of touch, and Chakotay reached down and was relieved when he was finally able to pick up the baby, and hold her in his arms.

Kathryn watched him holding nothing - soothing nothing, "Janeway to Sickbay."

"Doctor here Captain. What can I do for you?"

"I need you to come to my quarters immediately. Chakotay… he's… you should just come here as soon as possible, he will need your help."

"Okay Captain. I am on my way."

The Doctor didn't waste time and simply beamed into the Captain's quarters. He looked around but only saw a meal abandoned on the table.

"In here Doctor," he heard Janeway call from the bedroom.

Not knowing what to think, he cautiously entered the other room.

"Captain?"

Kathryn placed a finger to her lips to silence him, before waving him into the room. He entered the room looking at Chakotay who appeared to be in a daze, and holding his arms in a peculiar fashion. He also seemed completely unaware of the Doctor's presence.

"Captain?" he repeated, this time in a whisper as to not disturb the Commander.

"He thinks he's holding a baby. Can you run a scan, and determine what exactly is happening with him?"

"A baby?" the Doctor replied, a little louder this time, causing Chakotay to briefly look up, before looking back down again.

"She thinks I'm seeing things Doctor, and maybe I am, but right now I don't mind." Chakotay smiled at the baby, and gently caressed her cheek.

Kathryn nodded her head towards Chakotay, encouraging the Doctor to conduct a scan.

"There are some signs of exhaustion and stress, but nothing particularly alarming."

"So you don't see her? Neither of you?" Chakotay asked.

Chakotay went through his story with the Doctor. How he kept being woken by her cries, how he almost touched her last night, and how he finally managed to hold her tonight. The Doctor kept quiet through his explanation. Which was unusual for him, but then this whole situation was outside the norm.

"Captain, I can't detect that anything but you and the Commander are in this room. I think the problem may be psychological. Commander, why don't you come down to sickbay and I—"

"I don't want to leave her Doctor," Chakotay interrupted.

"Leave her? The Captain can come with you if you—"

"No, the baby. She has disappeared twice on me before. I think she needs me. I don't know where she's come from, or why neither of you can detect her, but she's here and she needs me."

The Doctor looked over at Janeway, before looking back to Chakotay. "Commander why don't you bring the child with you. She'll be fine in Sickbay. I think we may be able to analyse the situation further if we go to Sickbay and I can run some tests."

"And what if she disappears again? What then Doctor?" Chakotay asked, turning to face the Doctor, making him edge back slightly.

"Chakotay, he's just trying to help," Kathryn interjected. She carefully sat across from Chakotay, cautious of how he was holding the child, trying not to get in his way.

"So am I Kathryn. There is a reason she keeps appearing around me. I thought it was a dream, but it can't have been. She looks exactly how I imagined." Chakotay looked directly at Kathryn. He was tired, and could see Kathryn's concern for him, so he retreated by looking down at the baby instead.

"Would you let me hold her Chakotay?" His head snapped back up at her. "I could hold her, and you could go to Sickbay with the Doctor. If she really does need your help, then let me help her, so we can help you."

"You don't believe she's here Kathryn."

Kathryn put her hand on his knee. "You haven't given me time to believe."

Chakotay watched her hand for a moment. He could feel her hand through the fabric of his uniform, it's warmth and weight. He heard the timbre of her voice as she talked to him. Everything about her was real, in the same way that everything about the baby he was holding was real. He looked back at the child now contently asleep. He felt the weight of her, the warmth of her. Part of him felt like he had held her before. Maybe he did dream about her, maybe he was still asleep.

"She's asleep. If I pass her to you, you need to keep still so you don't wake her."

"And you will go with the Doctor?" she asked.

Chakotay nodded.

"Ok then. Guide me Chakotay," she replied.

Chakotay carefully stood. He suggested Kathryn sit comfortably in bed, so she took her shoes off and sat with her back against the headboard. Very carefully Chakotay leaned down, and Kathryn positioned her arms like a cradle, mimicking Chakotay's pose. As he bent down, he looked up into her eyes for a brief moment. It was the smallest of silent gestures, but it was one they had shared before. It was an agreement of trust between two people who didn't always need words to convey a promise.

Kathryn noted how Chakotay hovered over her and gently lowered his arms towards her. As he stopped and moved back, she now assumed the baby must be in her arms. There was no additional weight on her arms, no extra warmth. She tried to smile at Chakotay, but his eyes were too busy on the child he believed she was holding. His hand lingered on some invisible place above her arm, and she guessed that he must be caressing the child's cheek.

"She's waking Kathryn. Do you sense her?" He asked.

The Doctor stood on the other side of them trying to get a better idea of what was going on. This time he chose to take the unusual path of remaining silent in the presence of his patient.

Kathryn tightened the skin around her lips. She looked down where she believed the baby's head must be and smiled at the child.

"Oh Kathryn, did you see that? She smiled right back at you."

Kathryn felt the weight of her position. Whatever smile or grimace she made, she knew it would all mean something to Chakotay, and she wasn't sure whether she could give him what he needed.

"I'm sorry Chakotay. I can't see her. I wish I could, but there's nothing there."

Chakotay just stared down at her arms blankly. He was motionless, quiet and completely lost.

"Chakotay? What is it?"

"She's gone Kathryn. She just disappeared."

.


.

The Doctor had been insistent that Chakotay should go to Sickbay and under go some tests. Chakotay was having none of it. He was too stricken at the disappearance of the baby, to hear anything the Doctor had to say. Before the confrontation escalated any further, Kathryn had made them compromise.

She suggested that right now Chakotay needed his privacy and a good night's rest. She asked the Doctor to give him a hypospray with a mild sedative and then in the morning Chakotay would go to Sickbay and they would look at this issue from every angle. Both parties had reluctantly agreed, and the Doctor provided Chakotay with a sedative before leaving him with the Captain.

"Chakotay, do you remember when we were on the planet - what did I call it? Oh yes.." she began feigning her forgetfulness, "New Earth. Remember how kind you were to me when I was fretful about being stuck there? You knew I had to come to an acceptance of the situation at my own pace."

He smiled at her recollection and nodded in reply.

"You allowed me to keep searching for a solution, while in turn you kept life going for the both of us."

They stopped walking to the exit of her quarters as they looked at each other remembering the events of a few months ago.

"Well now it's my turn Chakotay. If you have to search out in your own way why you are seeing this child then I will support you. While you figure it out for yourself, myself, and the Doctor will look for our own answers. I don't want to dismiss what you're experiencing, but at the same time I need to find answers to this from a scientific perspective."

Chakotay smiled at her, and the warmth in his eyes was overwhelming. If the situation wasn't so emotionally fragile, and things were different, she could have hugged him, but instead she squeezed his shoulder.

"I wouldn't expect any less from you Kathryn. I'll cooperate, I want answers too."

Kathryn nodded her thanks and he left her quarters.

Administering the hypospray he went to sleep without hearing the baby cry. Instead he once again dreamed of the woman in red. She was looking at her vines again, this time she was on Voyager in the hydroponics bay, and this time he knew her.

It was Kathryn.

Kathryn Janeway, resolute and happy, and holding a baby. The same baby that a few hours ago she claimed she couldn't see.

.

.

To be continued.