"You can stop laughing." Tony growled as he sat across from his partner the next morning.

"You know, I do not think I can." Ziva said as she looked away from him to wipe her eyes. "I just wish I could have been there to witness it."

"Witness what?" McGee asked as he strolled into the squad room.

"Ethyl dumped Tony," Ziva started as she began to laugh again. "While he was dressed in that hideous costume with that ugly wig."

"No!" McGee laughed as he looked to Tony. "Seriously?"

"Enough." Tony pouted as he looked back to his desk and pretended to work.

"Do not be such a baby, Tony, if that had happened to either McGee or I you would not give up until-." She paused to think of the appropriate phase.

"You would never give that up." McGee finished and Ziva nodded.

"That's not true!" Tony whined. "I would respect your feelings, because I know you two know the pain of being dumped, and I would leave it alone until the appropriate time came when you would have healed." He finished as he looked between his two co-workers. McGee and Ziva exchanged looks then stared back at Tony. "Okay, so maybe I wouldn't."

"That would never happen to me or Ziva." McGee laughed. "Right, Ziva?"

"Correct." Ziva smiled as she and McGee burst out laughing again.

"It's not that funny!" Tony complained as he watched Ziva continue to laugh.

"Did she dump you because of the outfit or because of the wig?" McGee asked pretending to be serious as he bit back his grin.

"It was neither actually."

"So, your personality." McGee concluded and Tony glared.

"What else is there?" Ziva asked and thought for a moment as Tony turned to glare at her. "Were you too inadequate for special Ethyl?"

"Tony, did you knock her down and she couldn't get up?" McGee asked playing off of their jokes from the previous day.

"Listen, I understand you are both jealous because I actually have a sex life and neither of you have been laid in what?" Tony asked looking between them not expecting an answer.

"10 hours." McGee said as he glanced at his watch and smirked proudly at Tony.

"2 weeks for me." Ziva smiled.

"But that's okay because Ziva's boyfriend lives in Miami." McGee said as both he and Ziva continued to smirk at Tony.

"Boyfriend?" Tony yelped. "You've been saying this whole time he's just a friend!"

"He is just a friend, and he also happens to be a boy." Ziva said as she squinted her eyes slightly.

"Ha Ha Ha." Tony faked laughed as he turned his attention back to his computer. "Who's your new chick, McSexed?"

"Don't worry about." McGee smiled as he shook his head.

"Well, I told you about mine." Tony pouted as he looked to his partner for help.

"You wanted to." Ziva deadpanned and Tony glared.

"Yo!" Gibbs barked as he entered the squad room and saw his team sitting around chatting. "Do some work."

~Later~

"So are you going to tell me why you got dumped?" Ziva asked as she took a bite out of her wrap.

"Some bullshit about us not being in the same place." Tony mumbled around his cheeseburger.

"You being in the '70s and her in the present?" Ziva joked and Tony just glared back at her over his bun. "Sorry, I'll stop."

"Thank you." Tony said as he put his lunch down and took a sip from his drink. "So 2 weeks, huh?" When she didn't answer he continued. "It wasn't that British guy was it? I don't think I could handle knowing that."

"There is nothing for you to handle." Ziva laughed as she sipped from the straw in her milkshake and stared at him. "But since you were dumped last night I will tell you the truth." Tony grinned and leaned closer to her over the table. "I lied, but I know that McGee has a girlfriend and I, um, did not want to be seen like a-." he cut her off before she could finish.

"Since when do you care about what McNewGirlfriend thinks about you?" Tony asked with narrowed eyes and a tight jaw. "You don't have a thing for him now that he's all skinny and stuff do you? I remember you saying he was attractive or something like that."

"No, I do not have a thing for McGee and his weight would not matter regardless if I did or did not." She glared. "And I said he was attractive compared to you."

"McGee's a baby, a probie!" Tony exclaimed. "He's just losing all his baby fat that's why you think he's more attractive."

"Why are you so defensive?" she laughed as she stole several of his French fries.

"Hey!" he pouted as he watched her steal another and dip it in his ketchup. "That's mine."

"And McGee is the baby?" she asked as she eyed his cheeseburger.

"Don't even think about it." Tony said as he moved his plate closer to his body.

"I just want a bite." Ziva smiled as she tilted her head slightly, knowing already he would let her have some.

"Get your own." Tony pouted but she continued to gaze at him like that and he forfeited and slid the plate over to her. "Fine, but just one bite."

"Thank you." She smiled triumphantly and took a giant bite out of his cheeseburger.

"Zeeeeee-vah." He whined as he slouched in his chair. "That was a huge bite!"

"But it was only one." She smiled as she pushed the plate back and leaned over the table to kiss his cheek.

"A kiss on the cheek doesn't make it any better." He continued. "You just ate a forth of my lunch."

"Are you sure you two aren't married?" the waitress asked.

"We most certainty are not married." Ziva said. "Or even dating."

"If you say so." The waitress shrugged as she dropped the bill on the table. "Have a good day, lovebirds."

"We should probably stop coming here for lunch." Tony said as he tried to take the bill before Ziva could.

"I agree, instead of once a week we should make it once a month." Ziva said as she put the bill on the seat next to her and grabbed for her wallet.

"Ziva, give me the bill." Tony said forcefully as he held his hand out.

"No." Ziva said equally as forcefully.

"Ziva." He repeated as he tried to snatch it from her.

"Tony, we are either splitting it or you are going to let me treat you." Ziva explained as she held his stubborn gaze. "You buy my lunch all the time. I understand that because you are the male you feel like you have."

"I don't feel like I have to." Tony countered as he watched her give him a curious look and stand from her chair.

"One second." Ziva said as she turned back around and stole another fry. "Now I am done."

"Good, because I was worried." He joked as he followed her up to the register.

"Hi." The teenager chirped as she took the bill and the money Ziva offered her. "Have a nice day."

"You too." Tony and Ziva both said as they exited the restaurant.

"Wait, Ziva." Tony said as he grabbed her arm gently and stopped walking before they reached the car. "You really think McGeek is better looking than me?"

"Does it matter?" she laughed.

"Yes." He said seriously.

"You are very handsome, Tony, and you know that." Ziva said honestly as she met his eyes. "It is part of what makes you so irritating,"

"For a second I thought you were going to say irresistible." He smirked as they walked back to the car.

"I have had no problems resisting you." Ziva smiled. "And neither did Ethyl it seems."

"You wait." He said as he started the car and looked over to her with a cocky smile. "You'll cave to the DiNozzo charm. It's inevitable."

A/N: So personally I think "Cracked" was kinda boring, but I was only half paying attention. I have mad organic chemistry homework, let me tell you how awful it was to be doing homework and listening to NCIS with all the equations and Tony talking about Ethyl. Ouch.

So no new NCIS next week, but then it's DiNozzo Sr.'s return and his "date" with Ziva. I don't know if I'm looking forward to it, I'll wait to at least see a preview before deciding.

And after 8.07 I'm thinking about leaving the story open to continue after *Spoiler Alert* Eli's return and "The shocking shooting opens a door to the past," teases executive producer Shane Brennan, "[and] explains a relationship which has kept fans guessing for several seasons." And we know it's either Tony, McGee, Ziva, or Vance. I'm personally thinking it's Vance and the relationship between him and Eli will be explained. But as Tiva fans we all know Shane Brennan just talks out of his ass most of the time, so we'll see what actually happens. *End Spoiler Alert/Rant*

Oh, and as a 20 year old seeing Michael Weatherly dressed like that and having never seen Saturday Night Fever, soooo not attractive. And talking like that? No, just plain painful. Agree/Disagree?