There was plenty to do – more than she'd ever be able to accomplish actually, but she couldn't focus on any of it. Katie was no trouble. She'd been there sitting there silently her small hands stopping for only rare moments to study her progress.
As she watched the little girl work, she couldn't help but feel guilty. No matter how much she stood up for herself, no matter how much truth existed in the words she spoke, she couldn't change the facts. Victoria was in jail and, if she hadn't told Christine all the details, it was a real possibility, she wouldn't be. In the best moments, she could defend herself against Billy's rage. In the worst, she let his words sink into her head – and into her heart – and it ate her up.
She sighed as she pulled the chair out from under the table and slowly sank into it. "Wow," she said with a smile. "That's a really nice picture. Who's it for?" Her stomach tightened as she let the question leave her lips, fearing the answer would be the one that would make her feel even worse. Billy had probably prompted her to make a card for her mother and no doubt Katie's innocent response would be something similar.
Katie's eyes looked up slowly. She hesitated before returning to the picture and adding more details. "It's a secret," she whispered. "I can't tell you."
"A secret?" She narrowed her eyes as she looked at the picture. It appeared to be a series of small pictures each of which showed a glimpse into her daily life. "You mean like a surprise?"
"No." Katie smiled. "A surprise is different. This is a secret. I can't tell you because if I do then the game is over."
"The game? What game?"
"I can't tell you," she insisted, "and I have to finish the picture before tonight."
Phyllis narrowed her eyes. "So, you play the game tonight?" She smiled for only a moment before seeing the flash of despair in Katie's wide eyes. "Hey. It's okay. I'm sure you'll still get to play the game and besides …" She leaned in even closer, her voice lowering, "I'm really, really good at keeping secrets."
She could see the thoughts passing through the passing behind the expressive eyes, the pros and cons being weighed in Katie's inquisitive brain. A small sigh escaped her lips as she studied her for a long moment before finally replying, "Really?"
"Uh huh." Secrets had been an unfortunate part of her life and while they hadn't meant anything good for her, as of late, she hoped Katie's version was a lot less sinister. "I'm a really great secret keeper."
"But he said if I told anybody that he wouldn't be able to come around anymore."
There was something in her expression, in the tone of her voice and the look in her eyes – it told the depth of her struggle just as her father's always face and eyes always had. Just as she'd always tried to tell Billy, his eyes and face told her everything his words refused to. And this tone, this look – especially when coming from a sweet, innocent child somehow unnerved her. It didn't seem right, this pressure to keep a secret. "So nobody knows about this game? Not even your Mom or your Dad?"
"No. He said I couldn't tell them or Grandma or Grandpa."
"What about me?" She waited for a response, hoping she'd finally found the loophole. "Did he say you couldn't tell me?"
"No," she said softly. "He didn't say, but …"
"Well then it's okay to tell me then, right?" She spoke quickly, trying to prevent any logical thought from prevailing. "The game … the person playing with you, that's who this picture is for?"
Katie nodded slowly, still slightly unsure.
"And you said he told you, so it must be a man." She couldn't help but smile as Katie's eyes widened in surprise. "See," she grinned. "I have special powers. I can keep secrets and I can magically read minds."
"You can?"
"Not really. I'm just a good listener," she added, "which is why you can tell me the truth. You can, Katie. Just tell me what's going on."
"I tried to tell him that Mommy wouldn't be mad. That she'd be happy to see him, but he said I still couldn't tell her. He said he wanted to surprise to her later."
"Who Katie?"
Katie turned the paper over, her childish print now visible. Had it been any other name, she might not have been able to complete it on her own, but given the simplicity, the need for only two simple letters, this name was one she was able to write all by herself.
"J.T." The name fell from her lips in an almost whisper as she looked into the child's sincere eyes.
She paced up and down the length of the office. Her hand shook so violently that she could barely hold the glass. The scotch did nothing to calm her nerves, the fiery burn as it ran down her throat only serving to set her body further on edge. Billy had arrived back in the office only moments ago and although he'd been annoyed with her request, he'd finally agreed to call Hannah to pick Katie up instead of dropping her off at the ranch as planned. Now she was waiting on him to return, to have the conversation she insisted was absolutely crucial. And it was – he had no idea just how crucial it was.
The chiming of the elevator made her heart drop and she rushed towards the open door, relieved to see Billy's tense face heading towards her.
"Alright," he huffed. "I'm here. You wanted me here and I'm here. What was so important that we absolutely had to discuss it tonight and why did you insist that I take Katie back to the house instead of letting her to go to the ranch. I know how you feel about Victor, but she adores him and right now I really don't like making her life any more difficult than …"
"Billy, please … just hear me out. This is so much more complicated than you could ever imagine."
"It always is with you, isn't it? You know why that is, Phyllis? Because you can't ever just tell the damn truth. Just be honest and upfront and tell the truth."
"That's why I wanted you to come here. That's what I'm trying to do. I want to tell you the truth. I want you to know what happened and I need to tell you what Katie told me." She swallowed hard. "Even though she told me not to tell anyone, even though she was so afraid to tell me because she'd been told it was a secret."
"Don't." It was pure venom that reflected at her. "Don't use Katie to try to create something between us that simply doesn't exist anymore. Katie was only here because I didn't have any other choice. Trust me if I had been able to arrange anything else, I would have. I would much rather her spend her time with someone that …"
"I get it, okay?! I get it. You think I'm a horrible person. You think I'm a terrible influence and that's fine. You can think all that about me and more, but right now I need you to shut the hell up and listen to me."
"And I need you to stop the hysterics and cut the drama and get to the point. I have a lot to do right now. I have a lot of responsibilities because, in case you've …"
"I haven't forgotten!" She slammed her hand down on the table, the glass she'd had a death grip on slipping from her hand and slamming into the cherry credenza. It shattered as they both stood there in silence. She waited a moment to let the chaos settle. "It's impossible for me to forget what you think of me," she continued finally, her voice trembling slightly. "You remind me every chance you get, but that's not what this is about. This isn't about me. This isn't about us. This is about keeping everyone safe. Katie was drawing a picture earlier. Did you ask her about it?"
"No," he admitted. "I assumed it was for Victoria. The kids have been asking a lot about her and I've just been telling them that she's out of town, but I think Johnny has started to hear things at school and I'm wondering if he might have said something to Katie because …"
"She didn't say anything like that to me and the picture wasn't for Victoria." She turned towards her desk and reached for the phone, suddenly thankful she'd thought to snap a picture. The days of Billy taking her word for anything had long since passed. "Look," she said as she held it out to him.
"What? It's a drawing. I've seen a million of them. It's all she does. It's …" He pulled the phone closer to his face, his finger tips touching the screen gingerly as he zoomed in on the image. His eyes moved finally, staring at her. "Does that say …?"
"Her friend, the one she's been playing with, the one she says no one else can see …. She told me he told her that she couldn't tell anyone about him or that the game would be over and he wouldn't be able to come and play anymore. She said he told her that she couldn't tell her Mom about him because he wanted to surprise her later."
"And she told you it was him? She said it was …" He stopped, his voice trailing off. It was ridiculous, unbelievable, and so many other things.
"J.T." she said flatly. "She said it was J.T."
