Kevin was standing at one of the sinks in the boys' restroom, rinsing his hands, when the door to the world outside flew open and Michael stormed in. As Kevin watched in the mirror, Michael slammed the door shut and twisted the manual lock into place.

'Oh, hi Mike,' said Kevin. 'You know you can get in big trouble for locking that door from the inside, don't you?'

'You're the one who's in big trouble, Rivera!' said Michael. 'I knew it all along – you're trying to steal my girlfriend!'

'What the hell are you talking about, dude?' said Kevin.

'You're trying to take Ella from me – that was your plan all the time!' Michael yelled. 'She knows you put that Valentine in her locker – you were the only one who made those pneumatic cards and everyone knows it, and you know that they know it!'

'They're pneumonic cards, not pneumatic cards,' Kevin returned. 'And you told me to put it in her locker, if you remember, Mike – you told me to do everything.'

'You didn't sign my name in the card!' Michael fumed.

'I told you to sign it this morning but you wouldn't do it,' Kevin pointed out.

'Why didn't you do it for me?'

'I don't feel comfortable signing other people's names. And it's not like I signed my own name instead!'

'Yeah, but you knew she'd know you'd made the card and left it for her,' said Michael, 'because you're trying to steal her from me, just like I always knew you were!'

Kevin saw a meaty arm swinging towards him. He ducked quickly, grabbed the arm, snaked underneath it and hurled it away from him. Michael found himself staggering across the restroom under the force of his own momentum.

'What the hell was that?' Michael snarled.

'Just a karate move I know,' Kevin shrugged.

'Is that right?' Michael replied, in what he hoped was a derisive tone. 'You know any more?'

'Yeah, a few.'

'Show me one.'

'Okay.'

Kevin balled his right fist and aimed it at Michael's head. Just as Michael swept the assault aside, he felt Kevin's left fist crunching into his abdomen. He cried out, doubled over and staggered backwards.

'I'll be glad to show you some more if you're interested,' said Kevin, 'but I think you should calm down first.'

'You're really asking for it now, Rivera!' Michael snarled, righting himself as best he could.

'Mike, I don't want to fight you,' said Kevin. 'We're friends now, aren't we?'

'Friends don't try to steal each other's girlfriends!'

Kevin opened his mouth to reply to this, but he noticed too late that Michael's fist was in the process of smashing into it. Kevin's head turned to one side and he tasted blood in his mouth. He spat into the basin, covering the porcelain with a spray of red. He looked into the mirror to see blood dripping from his lip, and Michael laughing behind him. Kevin scowled, balled his right fist, whipped around and slogged Michael under the chin. Michael's head snapped back and he stumbled on his heels. Kevin took two purposeful steps towards Michael, both his fists balled now. He almost took another swing, but he checked himself just in time and took one step back.

'Jeez...' Michael muttered, righting himself with some difficulty. 'Was that another karate move?'

'No; that was a punch, just like the one you gave me,' said Kevin, wiping the blood from his mouth. 'Now can we please talk about this Valentine thing calmly for a second?'

'No more talk!' Michael snarled. 'You're dead!'

Michael took a menacing step forward. Kevin stepped back slightly and raised his fists in front of him. Michael hesitated.

'So you don't want to fight me, huh?' he said in disbelieving tones.

'That's right, I don't!' said Kevin. 'But I'm not gonna just stand here and let you beat the crap out of me!'

Michael adopted a pensive expression. He looked Kevin up and down several times. He reached up and rubbed his jaw with one hand, while slowly massaging his stomach with the other.

'You know, you're pretty good,' said Michael. 'Do you wanna join my gang? We meet in the mall at nine a.m. every Saturday.'

'No thanks,' said Kevin, lowering his fists, 'but I do want to be your friend and I'll help you if I can. Okay, so there was a mix-up with the card, but you can still give Ella a killer Valentine – it's not too late!'

'What do you mean?'

'I'll help you make one.'

'I told you yesterday,' Michael sighed, 'I can't draw and I can't write love messages!'

'Then we'll go down to the mall right now and I'll help you pick out a card,' said Kevin. 'We've got a half-hour of lunch break left – that should be plenty of time.'

'But I wanted my Valentine to be special,' Michael moaned. 'You know, personalised.'

'Personalised...' Kevin mused. 'Hey, I know! Reagan Cards has a machine where you can design your own greetings card and it prints it out for you right then and there! Let's go make Ella a Valentine on that!'

'Well... okay,' said Michael. 'But you'll help me decide what to put on it, right?'

'Of course,' said Kevin, picking up his bag from the floor. 'Look, before we go, I, er... I made you one last night.'

Kevin withdrew one of his customised Valentines from his bag. Michael stared at it suspiciously.

'I was making one for Ella and one for my dad, and I had a piece of card left over so I figured, what the hell?' Kevin explained.

'What kind of dog is that?' said Michael.

'A Rottweiler,' said Kevin. 'Tough on the outside, tender in the middle... possibly.'

'You... you're not trying to queer me up, are you?' Michael asked uncertainly.

'Why don't you read it and judge for yourself?' Kevin suggested.

Michael took the card, opened it and squinted at what was written there.

'Masked Internal Kudos Evident,' he read out. 'I don't know what that means, Kev.'

Kevin laughed, and clapped Michael on the shoulder.

'It means I think you're okay, Mike,' he said. 'Underneath it all, I think you're okay.'

'You're not about to hug me, are you?'

'I hadn't thought of it... but I will if you want.'

'No, that's okay,' said Michael. 'Let's just get to the mall while we still have time.'

He went to the door, unlocked it and threw it open. Before he could leave the room, six or seven boys rushed through from the other side, clutching themselves and making faces of extreme discomfort. Kevin gave Michael a look. Michael shrugged.


In the foyer of the mall, Martin and Phoebe were making quite a spectacle of themselves as they embraced passionately in the middle of the concourse. Inside the card store, meanwhile, Kevin was manipulating the controls of the make-your-own-card machine.

'How about one of these TV cartoon designs?' Kevin suggested. 'Does she like any cartoons in particular?

'She likes Pokémon,' said Michael.

'Pokémon, Pokémon...' said Kevin. 'Ah, yes, there's a few choices for that one. Anyone she particularly likes on the show?'

'The girl is her favourite character,' said Michael. 'You know, the one with the tiny shorts and the red hair.'

'Okay, so we'll select the picture of Misty and that little star thing of hers,' said Kevin. 'That's it. Which message should we go for?'

'I choose you!' Michael declared at once.

'Good one, Mike,' said Kevin. 'Okay, I'll just make it say Ella, I choose you, and we're done.'

'Thanks, Kev,' said Michael.

'No problem, Mike,' said Kevin.


Kevin's class was dotted around their homeroom, reading, talking, laughing or just doing nothing.

'Miss Ortega's not supposed to leave us on our own like this for so long,' Jandro remarked to Kevin and Lucy. 'What if we all suddenly went crazy or something, and started doodling on the whiteboard or... or setting fire to tampons and stuff?'

'Well no one's using any of mine!' Lucy said indignantly. 'Those things cost a fortune.'

'Oh my God,' Kevin muttered under his breath. 'Ella's coming over!'

'Is that such a bad thing?' asked Jandro.

'It could be,' said Kevin. 'I've already had one fight with Michael today and I really don't want to have another one if I can help it!'

'You had a fight with Michael?' Jandro marvelled. 'I guess that explains the lip.'

'Did you kick his ass?' asked Lucy.

'Well,' said Kevin, 'not exactly...'

'Hiya, Kevin,' said Ella, sitting on the desk in front of him in a distinctly provocative way. 'I want to talk to you about that Valentine you left in my locker this morning.'

'Oh yeah?' said Kevin. 'Well, Ella, I –'

'It was the sweetest Valentine I've ever gotten,' Ella continued. 'I really am sorry to disappoint you, and it's not that I don't like you or anything – you really are a cutie in your own way – but I'm afraid I'm sticking with Michael. He just gave me such a cute Valentine with my favourite cartoon on it, and I know it's a little late, and I know he seems like a putz sometimes, but I really believe that under all that neurotic mess, there's someone nice trying to get out.'

'So do I,' said Kevin. 'And I hope you didn't get the wrong idea with that Valentine, Ella – I made them for all my closest friends and family, as I'm sure you remember from art class yesterday, and I think of you as a close friend... clearly.'

'Thanks, Kev – you're sweet,' said Ella, fixing him with a radiant smile. 'Well, see you around!'

Ella stood up, and went back to sit next to Michael. Michael caught Kevin's eye and gave him a thumbs-up, which Kevin returned along with a smile.

'What is this thing with you and Michael, Kev?' said Jandro. 'Have you got some kind of love-hate relationship going on or what?'

'Actually I think we're somewhere in the middle,' said Kevin.

'Ella's right, you know, Kev,' said Lucy. 'You really are a cutie, in your own way.'

'Shut up,' Kevin laughed, giving her a light shove.

'But I agree with Jandro – I want to know what's going on with you and Michael!' Lucy continued. 'First you invited him to join our geography group, then you made us clean his house, then you did all this Valentine's card stuff for him! I saw you dropping that Valentine into Ella's locker this morning, and I saw you and Michael at the mall making a Pokémon card at lunch break. Why are you acting like his personal Man Friday-cum-Jiminy Cricket or something? You're not afraid of him, are you?'

'No, I'm not afraid of him,' said Kevin. 'I think he's a little afraid of me, to be honest with you.'

'You do have bigger guns than him, dude,' said Jandro. 'Everyone can see that.'

'So why is it, then?' Lucy pressed. 'It can't be because you like him!'

'I don't exactly like him... but I don't dislike him either,' said Kevin. 'I mean... well, everyone deserves the chance to have a friend, don't they? And the chance to be a friend in return...'

'Oh, Kev,' said Lucy, 'you're one of the good ones all right. What are we going to do with you?'

'I don't know,' Kevin grinned at her. 'I guess we'll just have to wait and see.'

At that moment, Miss Ortega entered the room and the class began to settle down.


Carl was tentatively closing the oven door with his shoulder, and setting a timer with his hands, when Kevin entered the kitchen looking for a snack. Carl glanced at him, did a double-take, and then adopted an interested expression.

'Fight?' Carl asked.

'Er... not right now, Dad, if you don't mind,' said Kevin.

'Get it in a fight?' Carl elaborated, pointing to Kevin's bruised lower lip as he spoke.

'Er... yeah, I did.'

'You must've gotten the better of it, if that's all you came away with.'

'Well...' said Kevin. 'Yeah, I guess I did. I'm sure the other guy's gonna have at least two bruises tomorrow – big ones!'

'You should be proud of yourself, son,' said Carl.

'To be honest with you, Dad,' said Kevin, 'I'm more proud of what we did after the fight.'

'What was that?'

'We went to the mall and made a Valentine's card together.'

'You did WHAT?'

'It was for his girlfriend, Dad.'

Carl muttered something unintelligible and left the room, just as Beth popped her head round the door.

'Kevin, you have a phone call,' she announced.

'Really?' said Kevin. 'Okay, I'll take it in here.'

He picked up the cordless extension from its carrier and put it to his ear.

'Hello?' he said.

'Dude!' Oscar's voice exploded from the earpiece. 'I just got your Valentine's card – it's really cool!'

'Wow, they sure delivered it quickly,' said Kevin. 'I didn't think you'd get it 'til tomorrow at the earliest. You, er... you did read the Post-It, right? About how I made them for a bunch of my friends and family?'

'Sure, I read it,' said Oscar. 'Bro, I love the picture of the poodle! And that message is so clever – Our Shared Carefree Adolescence Rules! You're so right about that, dude. Did you check with your mom if she's okay to drive you up here next month?'

'Yeah, she's totally on board,' said Kevin. 'I think she was on the phone to your mom for about a half-hour, talking about us.'

'I wonder what the hell they found to say for all that time,' said Oscar.

'The mind boggles,' said Kevin.

'You're gonna stay for four nights, right?' said Oscar. 'I heard my mom and dad say they might have to send you home after two nights 'cause my mom has a job interview or something, but I think I managed to persuade them you should stay for four nights.'

'Yeah, it's definitely for four nights,' said Kevin. 'I'm looking forward to it, man.'

'Me too, dude,' said Oscar. 'Oh damn, I'm being called for dinner – drag! I'll see you in about five weeks.'

'You sure will,' said Kevin. 'Ciao for now.'

He put down the phone just as Carl reappeared with Eduardo. Kevin wandered over to the fridge, while Carl beckoned Eduardo over to the oven, opened the door and made him look inside.

'It looks fine,' said Eduardo, closing the oven door.

'It doesn't look like the picture in your book,' said Carl.

'You can't expect it to look exactly the same. Trust me, it's fine. Now, don't open this again for at least an hour, okay?'

'How am I supposed to tell when it's done?'

'It tells you that in the book. See?' Eduardo pointed to a particular sentence in the large hardback book that was open the kitchen surface.

'When the legs come away easily from the body,' Carl read dubiously.

Kevin, who was standing by the fridge and sucking on a Go-Gurt, sniggered and said, 'Are you sure Uncle Eddie brought the right book, Dad?'

Eduardo laughed, and Carl frowned.

'Sounds more interesting than what they teach us in human development,' Kevin added.

'You know you can ask me about that, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'General points, I mean – obviously I can't know what individual people are thinking and feeling.'

'Or you can ask me, son,' Carl said hastily. 'You know that, right?'

'Yeah, Dad, I know that,' said Kevin. 'But don't worry, either of you – I don't want any details just yet. I'm twelve! And besides, it's more trouble than it's worth.'

'What makes you say that?' asked Carl.

'Oh... nothing, really. Just Michael accusing me of trying to steal his girlfriend again.'

'Again?' said Eduardo.

'Michael again accused me of trying to steal his girlfriend,' Kevin amended.

'And were you?' Carl asked hopefully.

'No, Dad, I was not.'

'Good for you,' said Eduardo, slapping Kevin on the back. 'I bet you could steal her if you wanted.'

'It's just not an issue, okay?' said Kevin. 'What exactly is going on here, anyway? Dad's asking you for cooking tips?'

'Why not?' said Eduardo. 'You can't help learning a few things when you live alone, Kev.'

'Like how to not blow up your microwave when you're heating a steak and kidney pot pie?'

'What?' said Carl.

Eduardo gave Kevin a look. 'Don't you have homework to do?'

'Sorry, Uncle Eduardo,' Kevin giggled, and Carl's frown deepened. 'Yeah, I do have homework. I'd better get it done before it's time to enjoy Riley's man knockers, huh?'

Eduardo laughed as Kevin left the room, but stopped abruptly when he saw the look on his brother's face.

'What the hell was that supposed to mean?' said Carl.

'Well,' said Eduardo, 'it's this character in Buffy who keeps taking off his shirt... it was just a joke... look, it doesn't matter. Can I take my book back now?'

'Not yet,' said Carl. 'Let's wait 'til the thing's cooked. You can stay and wait if you want. We could talk about my hot water bill.'

'Yeah, we could do that,' said Eduardo. 'Or...' – he produced his notebook and pen from somewhere inside his jacket – '...you could tell me about Hurricane Hugo.'

Carl sighed resignedly. 'Yeah, okay, fine. What do you want to know?'


Later that evening, Carl and Beth were in their dining room, sitting down to a candlelit dinner.

'This is incredible, hon,' said Beth, between mouthfuls of roast chicken. 'I'm impressed.'

'I hope you didn't underestimate me,' Carl said good-naturedly.

'Never,' said Beth. 'I just didn't know you knew how to do this.'

'Yes, well... I only knew how to do it in the couple of hours when I had one of Eddie's cookbooks. Probably one of the ones you gave him, come to think of it.'

'That makes sense,' said Beth. 'Once, when Eduardo was seeing that Bess girl, he came down here specifically to tell me that I'd saved his life with a chicken and chorizo recipe. It was probably this one.'

'Well, he said it was the easiest. I thought I'd better not try anything too ambitious the first time.'

'So you're planning on there being a second time?'

'If you want there to be.'

'Absolutely,' said Beth, 'if you want there to be. I mean, I wouldn't want you cooking for me if you hate it or anything. What's brought this on, anyway?'

'Time to talk about our feelings, is it?' said Carl.

'Yes please.'

'Well, I decided to do this because I wanted to make you happy. I guess dinner by itself can't do that, but I figure it's a start. I know I've been distracted lately, with work and worrying about Kevin and trying to think of ways to persuade Eddie to join the force...'

'Why are you still doing that, anyway?' asked Beth. 'If he doesn't want to be a cop, why try to force him? If you'll pardon the pun.'

'Oh, lots of reasons. For one, it's what Dad would want.'

'Is that really a good reason?'

Carl sighed. 'I don't know... probably not. Obviously Eddie's shaken the idea that we have to do what Dad would have wanted, but I just can't.'

'Well, that's understandable. Eduardo was a strong-spirited kid when he died and, well...'

'Dad hadn't broken him yet?'

'I don't know if that's exactly what I meant, hon.'

'Close enough, though,' said Carl. 'But anyway, there's other reasons too. I just can't see what the hell else he's gonna do with himself. I was reading the college website the other day, to see what it said you could do with a major in this urban studies thing, and it was just a long list of stuff you have a far better chance of getting into if you actually study that – like teaching and law and politics and city planning and... I don't know, a few other things.'

Beth smiled, and said, 'So the main reason is that you're worried about him.'

'I just don't want him living like a bum above my garage,' said Carl, 'especially if he's depressed because Kylie's left him. He could end up with a drinking problem or something.'

'Why would Kylie leave him?'

'Because they're coming to the end of a chapter in their lives. Maybe she'll decide she wants to do something else. I mean, she's smart, right? She could probably go anywhere and do anything she wanted. I'm not saying she will leave him – I'm just saying she might.'

'If Kylie went somewhere and did something, Eduardo could go with her.'

'If she wanted him to. But then what would he do when he got there?'

'That's his business, really, isn't it?' said Beth. 'I know you care about him, and that's a good thing. But you do remember how it was when your dad showed he cared by trying to control you both, don't you?'

'Yes,' said Carl, 'I remember that. Beth, do you ever... well... feel like I try to control you?'

'No,' said Beth. 'Why would you think that?'

'It's just that you haven't seemed completely happy lately,' said Carl, 'and if you're not, and it's something I've done, I want you to tell me so I can fix it.'

'That's good to know,' said Beth, smiling and reaching for his hand. 'But I haven't really been unhappy... just feeling that maybe I'd like a change.'

'A change? Why?'

'Well, because Kevin's becoming so independent, and taking care of him was always my favourite part of my job... and I know taking care of my home and my family is still important... it just gets kind of boring sometimes now the thing that needs me most is that dust trap behind the couch. But it's nothing to do with you, honey. I love you.'

'I love you too,' said Carl. 'And I know I haven't been exactly, well... stimulating lately. But I will be tonight, I promise. We can do anything you want.'

'Oh yes?' said Beth, smiling mischievously. 'Promises, promises!'


'Grr! Argh!' said the little demon as it ran across the TV screen, and Eduardo pressed the mute button on the remote control.

'They need a new base,' said Kevin.

'A new base?' said Eduardo.

'Yeah, a new base,' said Kevin. 'They're all spread out everywhere – the university, Giles's apartment, Joyce's house, Spike's crypt, Xander's basement – and they don't have a specific base. I miss the library.'

'Everything has to change eventually, Kev,' said Eduardo, 'even in the Buffyverse.'

'Don't I know it?' said Kevin, smiling to himself. 'You know, Uncle Eduardo, no one else made as many Valentines as I did – I made at least three times as many as anyone else in the class, and that was before I made three more at home! I just couldn't settle on one single person to make a card for.'

'Nothing wrong with that, man,' said Eduardo. 'You just keep on expressing your feelings however you want, and don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong to do it.'

A few seconds of silence followed. Eduardo reached for the remote control, but his hand stopped in mid-air when Kevin opened his mouth to speak again.

'I punched Michael when I didn't have to,' he announced. 'I could see him in the mirror – he wasn't attacking me at that moment – but he'd just busted my lip open and I felt so mad that I turned around and punched him as hard as I could. I think I'm lucky I didn't break his jaw – I definitely heard something crack.'

'Look, Kev, there's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself,' said Eduardo. 'Yes, even physically if you have to. But you didn't take it too far – you talked to Michael, you calmed him down, you gave him your friendship and you helped him with his problem. But if you'd really wanted to, you could've beaten the living snot out of him and left him lying on that bathroom floor in a pool of his own blood, couldn't you?'

'I... I really think I'm capable of doing that,' said Kevin. 'Physically, I mean. And I guess a part of me wanted to do it. God, that scares me, Uncle Eduardo. And think of all the trouble I'd have gotten into!'

'But that's the whole point – you chose not to do it,' said Eduardo. 'Remember what Dumbledore says, Kev – it's not our abilities that make us who we are, but what we choose to do with them.'

Kevin nodded, and adopted a satisfied expression. Eduardo started to reach for the remote again.

'Uncle Eduardo, can I ask you a question?' said Kevin.

'Of course, Kev,' Eduardo replied. 'And I'll try my best to fully answer it before Angel starts. Is it about human development?'

'No,' said Kevin. 'They really have taught me everything I want to know about that at school... more than I want to know, actually, thinking about some of those videos... and besides, there are some things I discovered by myself, before I even started junior high.'

'Yeah, I'll bet there are,' said Eduardo, smiling slightly. 'But I know what they teach you at school is all to do with how to make a baby, how to get an STD and how to avoid both, and that's not even half the story. There are things they don't even tell the girls that they probably should, and it's not so easy for them to find out for themselves, so if you want to know –'

'No, really, Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin, 'not today.'

'Okay. So, what is the question about?'

'It's about Oscar.'

'Oh. I don't think I can really tell you anything about him that you don't already know, dude.'

'Yes, you can. I'm reading a book – it's a ghost story – that's narrated by this teenage girl character, and she makes a very interesting point about how most adults seem to think that if kids of the same age – and preferably gender – are put together in a social situation then they'll automatically get along, even if they've never met each other before, and she thinks it's a load of garbage.'

'Oh yeah?'

'Yeah, so what I want to know is,' said Kevin, 'when you suggested that me and Oscar should spend the day together for the first time, did you do it because we're two boys about the same age or because you thought we'd actually like each other?'

'That's... that's a pretty interesting question, actually,' said Eduardo. 'I don't really know the answer, to be honest with you.'

'Well, think of it this way,' said Kevin. 'If one of us was a girl, would you have suggested it?'

'Um... no, I don't guess I would've, really,' Eduardo admitted. 'But I did think you'd like each other... well, to be more accurate, I thought he'd like you... because people do, with good reason.'

'So you didn't think I'd like him?'

'That's not exactly how it was, dude. I'd only just met Oscar, remember, and I'll admit he did seem kind of... well, surly. But I was sure he was putting on an act in front of his family, and I thought he'd probably act different with you... or stop acting, and show you what he was really like... and if there was anything to like, you'd like it. And you did!'

'Yeah, I sure did,' said Kevin. 'You were right in every way, Uncle Eduardo... just like always, I guess. Kinda backs up the theory that two boys the same age will get along if you randomly put them together, though, right?'

'No way, man,' said Eduardo, 'I don't believe that for a second. But sometimes – when you meet someone new – you strike it lucky, and that's what happened with you and Oscar. It's no accident, what the two of you have... I mean, how close you've become... or rather, how well you get on. That's a rare thing, Kev, and you can be sure that my lucky guess really has nothing to do with it.'

'Yeah,' said Kevin. 'I think you're right, really. But I do want to thank you for coming up with that plan, Uncle Eduardo – however it came about, I found something very special that day.'

'You did?' said Eduardo. 'What's that?'

'A friend,' said Kevin.

'Yeah,' said Eduardo. 'Look, Kev, I know what I said earlier about not knowing what specific people are feeling, but if there's anything specific you want to tell me about how you're feeling...'

'You'd better turn the sound back on now,' said Kevin. 'Angel's starting.'

'Oh yeah,' said Eduardo, as his index finger finally made contact with the remote control again, 'so it is.'