Here is chapter two of Invincible! I thought that there would only be two chapters, but it seems that there will be at least one more. *sigh* The muse will go where it will go. Right, Loafer? Haha. Enjoy, everyone!
Disclaimer: Not mine!
PsychPsychPsychPsych
When the ambulance pulled up to the hospital, Juliet could barely manage to catch her breath. The paramedics had managed to restart Lassiter's heart, but he still wasn't breathing without help. Juliet tried to stay close to him without getting in the way as the paramedics quickly carried him out of the back of the ambulance. As soon as they burst into the emergency room, doctors rushed over to help, and Juliet was ushered away under spirited protest.
"That's my partner! I have to stay with him!" she insisted, but she was helpless to do anything but watch as Lassiter was wheeled beyond double doors that she was not granted access to.
One of the doctors misunderstood her as she pleaded to stay with him. "Ma'am, we're going to do everything we can to help your husband. But you have to let us work."
Husband… That word buzzed in Juliet's head, and she didn't correct the doctor's assumption. It made sense. He was her partner, her best friend. The only title he didn't hold was that of her boyfriend. No, that title belonged to Shawn Spencer. Her head began to spin as a single thought floated through her head.
Did she want Shawn to still be her boyfriend?
Six hours after Lassiter was brought to the hospital, half of the Santa Barbara Police Department was squeezed in the waiting room closest to the O.R. Juliet was sitting by herself, unwilling and unable to talk to anyone just yet. A nurse had generously provided her with clean scrubs, which she had reluctantly changed into after a brief shower. Her hair had hastily been pulled back into a messy bun, leaving her haunted blue eyes exposed to everyone in the room. Only Shawn Spencer was fool enough to approach her, and she tried not to snap at him as he asked again if there was anything she needed. The only thing she needed was to know that Carlton would be okay, and to be able to see those beautiful blue eyes open again. Her hands trembled as she held them in her lap.
After a while, Shawn finally dared to move closer to Juliet again. He hated hospitals, so he was already unsettled and a little jumpy. But he wanted to stay with Juliet and show his support, even if he really didn't want to be there for Lassie. This was about Juliet. "Jules?"
Juliet briefly looked up at her boyfriend. "What, Shawn?" She didn't even attempt to disguise her irritation—and again, she didn't know why she was so irritated at him. He hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, if he had not raced into the bank so carelessly when he did, they might have still been trapped inside and she could have lost Carlton. That thought sent another chill down her spine.
He sat down beside her and reached out, gently taking her hand. "He's going to be okay," he murmured. He desperately wanted to comfort her, but it was only then that he realized he was terribly inadequate at it.
"You don't know that."
"Of course I do, Jules. Psychic here, remember?" He offered her a small smile.
Before she could retort, the door opened and a dark haired woman wearing a white coat walked into the room. Immediately everyone in the room stood up, but Juliet was the fastest. She weaved through the group, skidding to a stop in front of the woman she presumed was a doctor. "How is he?" she demanded.
The woman gave Juliet a smile that wasn't very comforting. "I'm Dr. Kim Grace. Carlton Lassiter has been in my care since he was admitted."
Juliet was in no mood, nor did she have the strength to be as polite and understanding as she normally was. "Is Carlton going to be okay?" Please, God, just say he's going to be okay. Please.
"He had a difficult time in surgery. The bullet did a lot of damage, especially to his liver and kidneys, and he lost a substantial amount of blood."
Juliet's stomach dropped. "But… he's going to be okay, isn't he?"
"We've placed him in the Intensive Care Unit, and the next twenty-four hours will be the most critical. And after that, he's going to have a long recovery. But I believe he will recover. He's a very strong man."
Juliet felt Shawn move up behind her, but she didn't care. Carlton was alive. She had to see him.
Dr. Grace seemed to understand Juliet's request without it ever being spoken. "There is a Juliet O'Hara listed in his file as his next of kin and medical proxy. I assume you're Juliet?"
Juliet nodded slowly. She had been Carlton's NOK for a few years, and he had her medical proxy. They both knew that the other would be able to make the hard decisions, but suddenly she found herself praying it wouldn't come to that. Dr. Grace hadn't mentioned neurological trauma, and she hoped it would stay that way. "Yes."
"Good. Normally we wouldn't allow this, but we always try to extend certain privileges to the Santa Barbara PD. So if you'd like, you can come with me and sit with Mr. Lassiter."
"Thank you," Juliet breathed as a small weight lifted off of her shoulders. She could see him. She could sit beside him, hold his hand and talk to him.
Dr. Grace smiled as everyone in the room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.
"Juliet."
Juliet turned around and looked up at Shawn expectantly. His normally brilliant eyes were clouded with something she couldn't quite identify, but she didn't have time to analyze right now. Not when her partner was so critical and she needed to be with him.
He hesitated, but instead of saying what he really needed to say, he smiled softly. "Say hi to Lassie for us."
"I will." Leaning up, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. Then she turned around and followed Dr. Grace out of the waiting room.
As everyone in the group began to talk quietly to one another, Shawn dropped into a chair and held his head in his hands.
It was only then that he realized that Juliet hadn't kissed him goodbye.
Dr. Grace led Juliet down the hall and upstairs, to the Intensive Care Unit. "We're going to watch him very closely over the next forty-eight hours," she explained as they approached the I.C.U. "There is a possibility that we may have to remove his spleen, but we're hoping it won't come to that."
Juliet barely heard her, but she nodded as the doctor spoke. "Can I see him? Please?"
"Of course." Dr. Grace ushered Juliet into the I.C.U. as she continued to speak. "Don't be afraid to touch him and talk to him, as long as you take care not to disturb any of the equipment."
The younger woman nodded numbly, her focus trained solely on a single bed a few feet away. Without even really looking, she knew it was Carlton, and she was pulled toward him by some invisible force. His shoulders and some of his chest was exposed, and for a brief moment she was grateful that his wound was covered by a hospital issued blanket. She noted the lack of a respirator, indicating that he was breathing on his own. Thank God for small miracles. His face was pale, starkly contrasting the darkness of his thick hair.
Grace came up behind Juliet. "He's stable right now. He's a very strong man."
"You have no idea," Juliet murmured as she absently slid her hand into Lassiter's. It was warm and strong, just like he was, and fresh tears gathered in her eyes.
"If you have any more concerns or if anything troubles you-"
"I'll get a nurse," Juliet finished, unable to pull her gaze away from Lassiter's face. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Dr. Grace smiled at Juliet before stepping out of the I.C.U.
Once she was alone with her partner, Juliet let out a shaky breath and sat down in the single chair beside her partner's bed. Her hand still held tightly to his, and as she watched his face, she began to speak.
"Hi, Carlton. I'm not sure if you can hear me, but I'm here." Her thumb moved slowly over his warm skin. "Everyone got out safely. You were the only one who was injured, but your doctor thinks you're going to be okay. So do I."
His eyes remained closed, his breathing steady. Juliet sighed and squeezed his hand lightly.
"Carlton, I need you to be okay. Please. I… I don't know what I would do without you. You're my partner, my best friend." Knowing that he was unconscious and would never know, she reached out with her free hand and gently pushed his thick hair back. His forehead was warm and his hair was damp, leaving her to wonder if he was even comfortable.
At least he's alive, she reminded herself sharply. As long as he was still breathing, he was fighting. And at that moment, that was all she could ask of him. Keep fighting.
Her fingers continued to move slowly through his hair, reassuring her and, in turn, she hoped that she was reassuring him as well. He had to know that he wasn't alone, that she was always there for him and always would be.
"You're going to be okay, Carlton. I promise."
After Juliet was led out of the waiting room by Lassiter's doctor, Shawn slipped out of the waiting room as the others began to talk amongst themselves. Hospitals were stifling, and he hated sitting in them for hours on end, especially when he saw what it did to his Juliet. He headed down the hall and within a few minutes he was safely outside of the hospital. He took a deep breath, relishing the fresh air and open space.
He hated hospitals with a passion. And as he walked, he couldn't help feeling just a little resentful of the whole situation. He didn't want to; he wanted to be completely supportive of Juliet. She was his girlfriend, after all, and he loved her. He wanted to be there for her. But he couldn't get over the thought that maybe, just maybe, she would be better off without him. After all, he had made it perfectly clear today that Lassiter would always come first. Could he honestly continue in their relationship knowing that no matter what, she would put Lassie ahead of him? He sighed.
He had a lot of thinking to do.
Juliet remained by Lassiter's side for the rest of the day, and when night fell and she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer, she dragged her chair as close to his bed as possible and laid her head on the mattress beside his arm. Then she reached up and splayed her hand protectively over his chest before she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.
"Juliet?"
Not fully awake, Juliet instinctively reached for a gun that wasn't on her. She swung her bleary gaze toward a nurse who looked contrite. "Yes?"
"I'm sorry to wake you, but you have a visitor. He says it's urgent."
Juliet looked at the clock on the wall. It was a little after nine. Somehow she had managed to sleep for six hours, and she suspected it had something to do with her constant physical contact with her partner. "Okay…" Reluctantly forcing herself to her feet, Juliet leaned over and lightly kissed Lassiter's forehead. "Behave," she whispered to him. Then she walked across the floor and out into the hall. She was fully expecting to see Shawn or even Henry. She wasn't expecting to see Gus standing there, twitching and looking very worried. "Gus? What's wrong?"
"Other than the fact that I'm in a hospital?" he replied mournfully. "I can't find Shawn."
Juliet yawned. "What are you talking about?"
"He was supposed to come over last night. I've been calling and texting, but he's not responding and no one's seen him." He tried to look hopeful. "Has he been here?"
She shook her head. "Carlton can't have any visitors except for me, and let's face it; Shawn wouldn't come by if he could." That came out much more bitter than she'd intended it to, but it was the truth. Shawn could be a drama queen sometimes, and he made his disdain for Lassiter very clear to anyone within hearing distance.
"You're wrong, Juliet." Gus sighed. "I'll keep looking for him."
"Thanks." An alarm went off somewhere, and Juliet took a step back toward the door. "I should get back in there."
"Yeah. I should get out of here." Gus gave her his best reassuring look, but Juliet already had her back on him and was heading back to Lassiter's side. He sighed and began walking as quickly as humanly possible out of the hospital.
Once she was back at Lassiter's side, Juliet felt a single tear roll down her cheek. Where was Shawn? Was this one of his desperate cries for attention, or was something genuinely wrong? And why couldn't she tell the difference?
After taking off from the hospital late in the afternoon the previous day, Shawn had just gotten onto his motorcycle and driven. He had no idea where he was going or why; he just knew knew he needed some distance to make one of the most enormous decisions of his life. So he rode his bike until the sun disappeared and he didn't know where he was.
That night, Juliet was too on edge to even try to sleep. So she made herself as comfortable as possible in her chair, draped a blanket over herself, and picked up one of the books that the nurses so thoughtfully provided. She ran her hand over the cover, smiling softly to herself before she opened it and looked at Carlton's face. She didn't know if he could even hear her, but if he could, she wanted him to know that he wasn't alone. So she scanned the page until she found what she was looking for. Then she began to read out loud.
"Call me Ishmael. Some years ago-never mind how long ago precisely…"
Gus searched for hours, but his best friend was nowhere to be found. He had a bad feeling about all of this. Shawn was his best friend, always had been. But he also understood Juliet's relationship with Lassiter (as well as he could understand) and he wondered if Shawn was jealous of it. Gus knew he had no reason to be; Juliet was not the kind of woman who would cheat and Lassiter was too much of a cop to allow anything to happen between Juliet and him, even if he did want it to. Shawn had no need to be concerned about that.
At least, that was what Gus thought.
Sometime after midnight, one of the nurses stepped into the I.C.U. to check on her patient, Carlton Lassiter. As she approached the bed, she was treated to a touching sight.
The young woman who had become known as somewhat of a fixture in the I.C.U. was slumped over in her chair. Her head was resting on Carlton's arm, and her own arm was draped over his waist, just below his injury, in a protective and almost possessive gesture.
Sheila was deeply reluctant to disturb the young woman, but it was late and a night of rest in her own bed might do her more good. She gently touched Juliet's arm.
Immediately Juliet raised her head, her grip instinctively tightening on Carlton. "What?" Her gaze was bleary and unfocused.
"It's after midnight, Juliet," Sheila murmured. "Why don't you go home and get some rest?"
Juliet hesitated. "No… I'm okay here." With him.
"But you won't be any good to anyone if you collapsed," Sheila gently pointed out.
The nurse had a point. She needed to be fully rested and aware for when Carlton woke up. Looking like hell would only worry him. That was the last thing he needed right now, to be worried about her instead of himself. So she reluctantly nodded. "Okay. Yeah, you're right."
"Would you like me to call a cab for you?"
Juliet shook her head as she stood up. "I'll call someone." Her fingertips lightly brushed against Carlton's stubbled cheek. He very rarely had a five o'clock shadow, and she briefly thought that she rather enjoyed the feel of it. But she quickly shelved those thoughts and kissed his forehead. "Don't wake up until I come back," she whispered to him. "I want to see those beautiful eyes."
He didn't respond, just as she thought he wouldn't. Sighing quietly, she withdrew from the bed and looked at the nurse. "Call me if his condition changes at all."
"We will. Try to get some rest."
She almost laughed. Try. "I will. Thank you." Casting another look at her partner, she reluctantly left the I.C.U. and went outside to call for a cab. She was more tired than she thought, because she nearly fell asleep on the cab ride home. But once she was actually home, she hurried inside and managed to make it to her bed before she finally collapsed.
Juliet slept straight through the remainder of the night and well into the afternoon, which was an exceptionally rare occurrence for her. She only awoke when her phone began to ring obnoxiously. Growling, she fumbled for the phone and held it up to her ear.
"O'Hara."
"Jules…"
Juliet blinked and sat up in her bed. "Shawn? Hi…"
"Hi."
She could hear him pacing around on the other end of the line. She rubbed at her eyes tiredly. "Gus hasn't been able to find you."
"No, no, I made sure he wouldn't be able to." Shawn looked around at the semi-decent motel room.
"Why?"
"I don't want to be found. Not right now."
Juliet sighed; of course he didn't. But she indulged him. "Why don't you want to be found, Shawn?"
"Because I don't want to until I talk to you." He resumed pacing.
"Talk to me about what?"
"Everything. Us."
She heard a beep in her ear, signaling a call waiting. "Hang on, Shawn." She hit a button. "O'Hara."
"Juliet? This is Sheila, Carlton's nurse."
Immediately Juliet's heart sank. "What is it? Is he okay?" She swung her legs over the side of the bed and began searching for clean clothes to change into.
"He started to wake up about fifteen minutes ago, but he was combative, so we were forced to sedate him again."
Immediately Juliet was infuriated. "I'll be down there in fifteen minutes," she said sharply. Then she ended the call and realized that Shawn was still on hold. She took a moment before speaking to him. "Shawn?"
"Jules? Is everything okay?"
"I'm not sure. I have to get back to the hospital. Something happened with Lassiter." She grabbed her keys and purse before hurrying out of her home.
"I still think we need to talk…"
"Later, Shawn. We'll talk later." She ended the call and shoved the phone into her pocket. She couldn't deal with this right now.
She had to get to Carlton.
After Juliet hung up on him, Shawn stared at the phone in his hand for a long time. She couldn't make time to talk to him, even though he really needed her. Once more, she was putting Lassiter before their relationship.
He had his answer.
By the time Juliet made it back to the hospital, the nurses and Carlton's doctor were all waiting for her. She tried to maintain an air of calm as she approached them. "How is he?"
Dr. Grace spoke first. "He began to regain consciousness shortly before we called you. He was combative and a possible danger to the nursing staff, so we were forced to sedate him."
"And you didn't have time to call me before you sedated him?" Juliet snapped.
"I'm sorry. We didn't."
"When will the sedative wear off?"
"We gave him a very mild dose, so it should wear off in a few hours."
Full of restless energy, Juliet nodded curtly and walked past the medical staff. All she wanted was to be by Carlton's side.
As soon as she was able to see him, she picked up her pace. "Carlton…" Finally she was close enough to touch him, and she rested her palm on his forehead. "I'm sorry I left you," she whispered as she studied his face. He had more color than he did before she left, which reassured her somewhat. But she wouldn't be completely okay until he opened his eyes and looked at her. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
Satisfied with her promise, Juliet sat down by his bed and slid her hand into his.
"You're stuck with me, partner."
It was nearly five more hours before Lassiter finally began to stir. Juliet was reading out loud to him from Moby Dick when she noticed his head move slightly. For a moment, she thought that she was losing her mind. Then his eyelashes fluttered, and she quickly closed the book. "Carlton?" Getting to her feet, she leaned over him and watched his face carefully.
His hand came up slowly, flooding her heart with relief.
"Carlton, can you hear me?" She gently took his hand and squeezed it.
His eyes suddenly flew open, and he began to struggle as alarms went off. Seconds later, the room was filled with nurses. One in particular produced a syringe and reached for Carlton's IV tubing. Juliet gave her a dangerous look.
"Don't."
"He's a danger…"
"I can handle him!"
Slowly the nurse backed away. "Fine, but if you can't calm him down, we'll have to sedate him again."
"I know what I'm doing." Breathing a soft breath, Juliet returned her focus to her struggling partner. "Carlton, you need to calm down." She pressed herself against him and gently restrained his arms, holding him securely to the bed to keep him from reopening the wound in his gut. There was no strength behind his struggling, and Juliet continued to whisper into his ear soothingly. "Everything is okay now, Carlton. I'm here. I'm not leaving you again. I promise."
Slowly his struggling ceased as Juliet continued to hold him close to her and whisper soft reassurances into his ear. Eventually he relaxed completely in her arms.
Once he stopped fighting, Juliet pulled her head back just enough so that she could see his face, and her breath caught in her throat.
He was awake!
Suddenly overwhelmed, Juliet smiled tearfully at him. There were those beautiful eyes, no longer hiding from the world. "Hi," she whispered, freeing a hand to gently caress his cheek.
His eyes scanned the room before slowly settling on her, and a small smile touched his face as their eyes met for the first time since he was shot.
"Juliet…"
Warm tears slid down her cheeks at the sound of his voice. "It's me," she choked out. Without thinking, she lowered her head and buried her face in his shoulder as she clung to him.
He was going to be okay.
"Juliet…"
The first time he woke up, Lassiter remembered being alone and panicking. Not because he was alone, but because Juliet wasn't there. He knew her. If she wasn't there, then something was wrong. And he became frantic as he tried to remember what happened at the bank after he was shot. It wasn't long after that a nurse rushed into the room. Before he could ask what had happened, she shoved a needle into his I.V. and knocked him out again.
When he came to again, he was in Juliet's arms and she was whispering soft reassurances to him. He could hear it in her voice; she was terrified. But why? As far as he could see, she was physically okay. Had something happened while he was unconscious? Did Spencer do something stupid to hurt her? He would kill him for that…
As he and Juliet locked eyes for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he murmured her name. Fresh tears appeared in her eyes, making him want to reach up and brush them away. But he didn't have the strength, so he had to settle for saying her name and hoping that it would be enough to reassure her. Apparently it was, because she leaned over and buried her face in his shoulder, and he never wanted her to leave that position.
Even though he had just regained consciousness, he could feel himself fading again. Willing his body to cooperate, he wrapped his arm around Juliet's slender waist. Then he pulled her even closer until she finally stretched out beside him and laid her head in the crook of his neck. Comforted by her presence and fading fast, he held her close and let his eyes close again.
When he woke up again, he would find out why she was so upset. Until then, he would enjoy this rare and amazing chance to hold her so close to himself.
Was this heaven? As the last of his consciousness slid from his grasp, he felt Juliet snuggle closer to him and drape her arm over his chest.
Yes, it was heaven.
After the brief call with Juliet that had been interrupted, Shawn gathered his things, checked out of the motel, and got onto his bike. He was about three hours from Santa Barbara, and he decided that he would send a text to Gus and his dad, letting them know that he was okay. But most importantly, he was going to go to Juliet and tell her exactly what was on his mind, the worries that had been eating at him ever since he rushed into the bank and saw Juliet holding Lassiter so protectively in her arms. He only hoped that he would get there before he talked himself out of doing what he believed was the right thing for everyone, and not just for himself. So he started his bike and pulled out of the parking lot, aiming himself in the direction of Santa Barbara.
It took closer to four hours to get back home due to traffic, but finally Shawn pulled into the hospital's parking lot and shut off his bike's ignition. Before he could lose his nerve, he hurried inside and up to the Intensive Care Unit, where he knew that he would find Juliet sitting with Lassiter. And he was right. After charming one of the nurses to be allowed in, Shawn quietly approached Lassiter's bed. What he wasn't expecting to see was Juliet lying in the bed with Lassiter. Her head was buried in his neck and her arm was draped over his chest.
"Jules…"
Hearing her name, Juliet sat up. The hurt look on Shawn's face tore at her heart, but she didn't apologize. She wasn't doing anything wrong. Slowly she eased off of the bed so that she didn't disturb her sleeping partner. "You're back."
Shawn nodded. "I am."
Juliet walked over to the window, leaving Shawn to follow. But she kept Carlton in her line of sight.
Shawn trailed after her, unusually subdued. "Juliet, we have to talk."
It did not escape her notice, the way he used her full first name instead of her favored nickname. She leaned against the wall and watched him carefully, silently waiting.
"I don't think this…us…is working."
That took her by surprise. "You're breaking up with me?"
Shawn toed at the floor with his sneaker. "I love you, Jules, more than I've ever loved anyone. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." That was the truth. Juliet was the first woman he had ever wanted to put before himself, and he doubted that he would ever stop loving her entirely.
"What changed your mind?" she asked softly.
"I know you love your job, and I know that Lassie is your partner, and that's important. But I'm tired of coming in second. I'm tired of our relationship taking the backseat to the relationship you two have."
"Shawn…"
"Let me finish, Jules," he whispered around the lump in his throat. "I love you. And I know you love me. But you love him too, and I'm tired of fighting. It occurred to me to make you choose, but then I realized that it would only make you resent me. And I never wanted that." He stepped closer to her and rested his hand against her cheek in a gesture of comfort and familiarity. "Seeing you two in the bank only reinforced that for me. You two are closer to each other, and he knows you better than I do, even if I wish it wasn't true."
Tears gathered in Juliet's blue-green eyes. "I never meant to hurt you, Shawn. Please believe that."
"I do," he assured her, smiling sadly. "And, hey, this doesn't mean that I'm going to walk out of your life, Jules. We were friends long before we started dating, and I hope that one day we'll be friends again. But right now…"
Juliet nodded in understanding. "I know. Me, too."
He sniffled and leaned in, gently kissing her forehead. "If Lassiter ever hurts you, I'll borrow your gun."
She had to smile at that. "Don't worry, Shawn. I don't think Carlton and I will ever…"
"If you don't, he's a stupid man." Sighing softly, Shawn let his hand fall away from her face. "I have to get out of here. I'll see you around, right?"
Juliet nodded. "Of course, Shawn."
With a sad smile, Shawn backed away from Juliet and left the Intensive Care Unit. He managed to make it outside before the tears began cascading down his cheeks and he fell apart entirely.
Once Shawn was gone, Juliet slowly made her way back to Carlton's bed and watched him sleep. She could see that he was unsettled, because his brow was furrowed and his jaw was tight. Concern for him washed over her, and without thinking about it, she ran her fingertip along the side of his face.
"It's okay, Carlton," she soothed. Fascination took over as he slowly relaxed again. He looked so much younger when he was sleeping, most likely due to the fact that he was almost always frowning whenever he was awake. In fact, maybe it was just a coincidence, but he seemed to smile the most whenever it was just the two of them together. She had never really thought about it before, but now it was all she could think about. Was Shawn right?
Steadying her breathing, Juliet sat on the edge of her partner's bed and gently placed her hand on his chest. And while she sat there, she allowed herself to grieve for all that she had lost.
But deep in her heart, a seed of hope planted itself and began to take hold.
To Be Continued...
A/N: Sorry to disappoint my Shulsians, but I like Lassiet, too. And I tried to make Shawn grownup and not too immature. :) Hope everyone enjoyed this! Thanks for reading, and please review!
