Goblet of Fire

Back of an envelope

I'm so excited I think my head might explode.

QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP BABY!

I never thought this would happen, not in a million years.

QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP!

Back of a broom advert flyer

That was so fucking scary.

I guess the one nice thing about being possessed was that I don't remember much of it. That's scary in its own way, but when I saw those muggles… I don't know how to say it right but I felt so female. Probably didn't help that I was in a night gown. Of all the undignified clothing, that really takes the cake. I've transfigured the lot of them into proper pijamas now. I had to do something.

I have never been so grateful to have Fred and George as brothers. I dunno what they thought might happen to me (I mean, I do, obviously, I'm not stupid, I just can't bear to think about it), but I'm so grateful. They just got on either side of me, and held on, wands out, and didn't let go until things calmed down.

I hate that I felt so powerless. I also hate that in that moment I was really glad I wasn't Hermione. I feel so bad for thinking that. She's ok though. Nerves of steel. Sometimes I think she doesn't quite get it, what they'd do to her if they caught her.

Unlikely. She's a genius. Maybe she can't face thinking about it either.

Everyone else is going on about how bad the Death Eaters were. I just keep hoping it's not him.

Bloody hell, even just thinking about it I'm getting the shakes all over again.

I hope we get someone good for Defence this year.

Maybe TR stuffed me up for good. Or maybe I am just that shallow/obsessed. It was horrible and all, but…QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP! I mean, that was such a spectacular match, and I was there! Something to tell the grandkids! (working on the assumption Harry comes to his senses).

Page torn from the middle of her Arithmancy notebook

Several things. First, boys are so unbelievably stupid, and Veela make me nauseas. It's the gratuitous-ness of it all. Second, OF COURSE his name got pulled out of the flipping goblet. I'm starting to think this business about him being the Chosen One is accurate. Like, I saw his face. He didn't put his name in.

I'm losing interest in all this Triwizard nonsense. Everyone has gone mental over it, and QUIDDITCH IS CANCELLED, and instead we have to watch some self-important teenagers fight over nothing. Like the whole school has to watch. If I'm watching Harry and Krum do anything together, I want it to be quidditch. Or maybe mid-air topless wrestling. You know, something with some talent and aesthetic appeal. And definitely without that Veela girl. Eurgh. I am willing to consider Diggory in the quidditch/topless wrestling scenario though. Boy has contours.

Back of a Support Cedric Diggory flyer

I take it all back.

Harry James Potter. Firebolt. Hungarian Horntail.

FEELINGS.

Scrap of muddy parchment

Weird encounter with Neville. I was bunking off Divination- I have to change subjects, honestly, I thought Hermione was exaggerating, but it's a load of hokum- and I'd nipped down behind the Greenhouses for some peace and quiet in the secret courtyard. I don't know if it's actually secret. Anyway, Neville was there, and he'd found some plant and started telling me all about it like I was a regular person who might be interested in Herbology.

I'd be flattered, except I think he was just excited about his plant.

Still.

Might see what happens if I sit next to him at lunch sometime.

At the bottom of a page of Divination notes

Oh my god! Neville asked me to the ball! Many conflicted feelings. I said yes, obviously, I won't get to go otherwise. Does he fancy me though? I thought we were just sort of… almost friends. What if he tries to- EURGH, that's just weird.

Besides, he asked Hermione first, so I'm almost certain it's her he fancies.

I'm just, you know. Spun.

It's like, I know he's a dork, and people make fun of him, but… Whatever, I think he's alright. Besides, he is older, and even though it's not exactly going to do me great favours socially, at least I'll get to go to the damn ball, and then for once I'll have all the info. Those girls are going to be begging me to tell them all about it (and I know who Hermione's going with, and it is JUICY!).

Better than lying awake waiting for them to stop whispering and giggling so I can get some damn sleep.

Wish I didn't have the nightmares.

Back of the Sleekeazy's application instructions

Day ruined. Started off immensely funny: Ron asked Veela Girl to the ball. Progressed badly: turns out Harry fancies Cho. Devastated. Even more devastating, I could have gone to the ball with Harry James Potter (Cho said no. Small mercies). But I said I'd go with Neville no-clue-what-his-middle-name-is Longbottom.

SIGH.

Life is incredibly unfair.

Also, I just realised that I tend to only write stuff down when I'm pissed off or obsessing over Harry. I feel shallow and foolish.

ALSO, I hate Ron. Pimping me out to his best mate. What is that about? I mean, yes, I know, Harry James Potter, but still. Not cool. I hope he asks Eloise Midgeon, and I hope she laughs in his stupid face.

Fresh parchment

Ron is being such a berk that I'm pretty sure me and Hermione are actually proper friends now. She cried, I told her he was an idiot, and then we had a good chat about Arithmancy. She is so damn smart! I've got her notes from last year to look over and she said if I get stuck she'd help me out. I don't actually need her help, but I wasn't going to say no- that's obviously how she shows she's your friend.

Plus, I mean, Hermione's notes. I'm going to summarise the lot and give them back to her, and I won't need to write anything down in class for the rest of the year. Smarter, not harder, right?

Had a nice time with Nev at the ball. Definitely just a friend thing, which is a relief on so many levels. Interestingly, I don't think he fancies Hermione either. From what he said it's almost more like, she helped him find his toad in first year and he never forgot, even though she's actually hexed him a bunch of times since then. Plus. It sounds rude to say it (and he didn't) but he's still kind of baby faced and she's not exactly known for her looks (Sleekeazy's notwithstanding), so good option really.

Anyway, we swanned about, had punch, chatted to people- you know, I think things are looking up! Got into a massive discussion with a bunch of people about quidditch, and it turns out, I have excellent opinions! At least, Katie and Alicia seemed pretty impressed, and I feel like Dean, Susan and Michael might deign to recognise me in the corridors now. Weirdly, Nev thanked me for amping up his cool factor- he's not exactly sporty.

Also, I rescued a Beauxbatons girl (Claudette?) from a couple of meathead Slytherins, and a miserable looking Hufflepuff from herself. Comfort eating finger food and wishing she'd gone to bed instead I think. Janna or Hannah or something- it was getting pretty rowdy by then. Anyway, I did the dorky dance moves, and got Nev out of his self-conscious anxiety, and Seamus joined in, because he has a sense of humour, and then I spotted that poor girl bailed up in the corner, so I went and just like, shoulder barged the Slytherins (nothing like the element of surprise!), and extracted her. On the way back to Nev we saw Hannah, and a couple of other stragglers, and in the space of about ten minutes I was the centre of a group of happy laughing people all doing the stupidest moves they could think of. Highlight was when that awkward, lunky, Durmstrang boy started trying to break dance! Hilarious.

Fresh parchment

1. Pariah-hood officially over! I wouldn't say I've got close friends, but I certainly have people to hang out with on Hogsmeade weekends! Excellent game of exploding snap, and I am every bit as funny as the twins, if I do say so myself. Everyone was in fits, and Col snorted butterbeer out his nose. Triumph!

2. Gillyweed is not flattering. So put off by it that I almost couldn't enjoy the sight of him in a wet shirt.

3. Hermione is best in small doses. I'm having to be diplomatic about SPEW. Nev says it's technically extortion, but her heart's in the right place. I think that's very generous of him. Fortunately, I can usually distract her by asking about Krum.

4. I know I said I wanted a decent Defence prof, but Moody gives me the heebie jeebies, and I think what he did to Nev is unforgivable. On the plus side, I invented three new hexes just thinking of what I'd like to do to him for upsetting Nev. Also, how is he allowed to wear that magic eyeball in a school?! I know I'm not the only one he makes uncomfortable, and it's not like wearing extra layers would make a difference. Creepy.

5. I keep bumping into Michael. Starting to think it's not a coincidence… on the plus side, he's super cute and gets all my quidditch jokes.

Scrap of parchment

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

Back of an Arithmancy assignment

So much confusion. Rumours going round about Death Eaters, and now that I'm not scary any more, people want to know what it's like. I've had to work out how to tell it in a way that doesn't upset me, because if I don't tell them they start getting suspicious that I've got something to hide.

The only thing I have to hide is how scared I am that TR's going to come back. I mean, if he could do it with that diary, who knows what other ways he might reappear?

What if he comes back through me?

Mike doesn't really get it, but then, I don't really get it, and at least he understands enough to give me a hug when I'm a bit wobbly and not ask any questions.

He's a nice shape for hugging.

Back of a piece of parchment covered in sketches of quidditch plays

Bunked off Care of Magical Creatures. Had a bad night. It was the one where TR makes me kill my whole family.

Yeah, not exactly cheering.

Too shaky to fly, so I went down by the lake, and thought about tossing myself in. Pointless though. I can swim, and between them, the squid and the merpeople would never let me drown, despite the fact that if they did I could be completely positive TR could never use me again.

Was a bit distracted being morose and didn't notice Luna until she was right there sitting next to me.

Dunno what it is about her, but I feel a lot better now. We had a paddle in the lake and looked for some kind of special rock that I think she just made up. As far as I can tell, the one I picked was just an ordinary pebble. I mean, it's a nice one, but I don't think all the stuff she said about it could be true. On the other hand, it did make me feel better, so maybe that was the point.

It's possible I've been an arsehat for avoiding her for so long.

Back of Potions notebook

Don't even know what to say. TR is back. The only consolation is that he didn't manifest through me in any way.

HA. Like that makes a difference in the grand scheme of things.

Yeah, we're all fucked.

Might be cracking up again. Can't stop shaking.

Makes all my anxieties about not having friends seem pointless. We're all going to die anyway.

Can't believe Harry survived. AGAIN.

I think at this point I have to believe he's the Chosen One.

It's a pretty futile hope, but at least it is hope.

I feel sick.