I wasn't dreaming when they told me you were gone,
I was wide awake and feeling that they had to be wrong.
How could you leave me when you swore that you would stay?
Now I'm trapped inside a nightmare every single f'ing day
Chapter 2:
Bad Dreams
ONE WEEK POST-ACTIVATION:
The crew had been on a rotating schedule of keeping an eye on Tali. Garrus, Doctor Chakwas, Joker and Ashley had taken the bulk of the shifts; Ash in particular as she knew what Tali was going through, more so at least than the others did. She didn't have much trouble while she was working on repairs. It let her keep her mind focused, distracted from the fact that the massive bed was far too empty for her. It was cold without Mark there.
She had been working on the radiation shielding for the last five hours. Before that it was the sublight engines, and the FTL systems before that. Anything she could do to keep her mind busy. But it wasn't enough. Most of it felt like day-to-day maintenance work.
She had been daydreaming about Shepard and what he said before she was forced to leave him behind.
"Come on!" Shepard helped carry her to the Normandy that was making an emergency landing to get some of the wounded that were making a charge on the Citadel beam, Garrus was slightly ahead of them. Her suit had been badly torn and she was bleeding through it.
A team of Alliance Marines ran down the ramp clearing several of the Reaper ground troops that were attacking the assault force from both sides.
"Here, take her." He said to Garrus when they reached the SR-2's ramp. The turian helped her up as the Normandy couldn't land as her previous model could.
"Shepard..."
"You've got to get out of here Tali."
"I can't stay behind."
"Don't argue me Tali." He pleaded.
"Don't leave me behind." Her voice was breaking, worried that she would be left behind as someone else she cared about died. Her father during her trial; the only member of her team that survived Haestrom, Kal'Reegar, died a few weeks back on Palaven. Now Mark was pushing her away. Right at the end of the road, so close to the finish line.
"I need you to make it out of here alive Tali." He walked up to her. "Go back to Rannoch. Build yourself a home." The fear about what about to happen was as thick in his voice as it was in hers. He brought his hand up holding her head as if to say "I'm sorry about all this".
"I have a home." Tears were rolling down her eyes behind her purple-pink mask. He started to back away, to return with the others and charge the beam with the others in the assault force. "Come back to me."
He looked back, seeing the Reaper begin to focus on the frigate. "Go. GO!" He yelled.
"No! No Shepard! Don't!" She struggled against Garrus to try and break free but it was a loosing fight. The ramp closed before she could break free of his grip.
"Come on Tali you're in no shape to go after him! I need to get you to Chakwas!"
"We can't leave him! Let me go! Dammit let me go you bastard!" Tears were flowing down her face, pooling near the bottom of her mask. "Please." She collapsed to the ground. "We can't leave him. Not again..."
Garrus picked her up, carrying her to the elevator. She had become oddly quiet. "Tali?Tali are you okay?"
"Tali?" Someone shook her shoulder bringing her back to the present.
"Huh? What?" She asked, her voice as broken as the day they left Earth.
"I said are you okay? You finished the radiation shielding an hour ago." Adams said.
"Oh. Thank you." She still wasn't paying much attention. "So what's next on the list?"
"Why don't you go get something to eat? You've been working yourself ragged. Donnelly and I can take care of the breaches in the hull."
"No. I-I don't mind. Really."
"You know I could use a bite to eat myself. Come on, It's nearly dinnertime anyway." Daniels said. "Besides, I hate to eat alone."
"It's fine. I just need something to take my mind off... I just need something to keep me busy."
"Come on." Daniels said. She gently took Tali's hand leading her back to the elevator.
Tali's mind started wandering back to the cliff face where she and Shepard, or rather Shepard had killed the Reaper on Rannoch giving the quarians back her homeworld and secured peace with the geth.
"Ahh. That's it." Mark sighed as he hammered the last nail into the cottage he had built for him and Tali.
"I swear I was going actually smash every finger again before it was done." While he was a whiz with a circuit board, wood and nails were never his strong suite.
"It's just like you described it." Tali said, standing beside him. His new wife. First thing he did was build her the home on Rannoch she had been dreaming about for years. He put in every detail that she had requested and added a few of his own.
"So, shall we start moving our stuff in? Kasumi apparently got furnishing for every room down to rugs for the floor and paintings for the walls." Kasumi and Tali had been close while they served together during their shared time on the SR-2 and continued to remain so after they parted when the crew finished their mission against the Collectors. "Probably best we don't ask how she got it. Even the coffee maker." He added.
"Well there's a problem." What was strange, is there wasn't a hint of sadness in her voice.
"What are you talking about? I thought I got everything right."
"You did." She walked to the front door of the cottage. "But we can't do this. Not anymore."
"What are you talking about?" He chuckled. She had always been bad at jokes. "We just got married."
"No. You just think we did."
"Okay, this isn't funny. What the hell are you talking about?" He approached her.
"No. Don't." She stretched her arm out keeping him from coming closer. "You already know why. It's already happened, you just don't remember."
"Remember what? We flipped the switch, killed the Reapers, got married end of story."
"The first part was right. I'm sorry Markus."
She closed the door behind her as she went inside, locking it behind her.
"Tali?" Mark knocked on the door after trying to open it.
"Tali open up! This isn't funny anymore!" He pounded on the door to no avail.
"Open the door dammit!"
The house then began to sink perfectly into the ground not taking Shepard or the potted plants that sat next to the house with it.
"Tali get out! Get out now!" He grabbed one of the pots and slammed it against the sinking window but the pot fell to dust when he grabbed it.
"No dammit! Tali get OUT!" He was getting desperate but nothing came to mind on what to do.
The roof on the second floor began to fall beneath the ground layer. All Shepard could do was sit there.
"Tali!" He snapped awake in a cot, his hands shot to his eyes to cover them. That was one of the worst dreams he had in months.
Something else was... wrong. His left arm was out of position and there was something amiss about how his hand was sitting on his face.
He pulled his hands back revealing a bandaged nub where his left hand was. Wha-What the HELL is this?
He leaned past the edge of the cot and puked up everything that he had eaten. Which wasn't a lot since he had been in IVs for a week. It wasn't anything in fact. All he had was several dry heaves and a bit of stomach acid.
And it spilled right onto a sleeping Wrex's lap. That is, was sleeping. "Damn it Shepard! Just got 'em cleaned."
He looked to Shepard clutching his arm. "Guess you found out huh?"
"What... happened?" He choked out.
"Docs said something 'bout your omni-tool fusing to the nerves in your hands. They had to cut it off. Sorry."
He was still coming out of the coma he had been in since the Crucible was activated. "Did we... did we win?"
"Err kinda. You killed the Reapers but the blast wave took out your relay. Far as everyone can figure same happened elsewhere. We won friend. Ha-ha!" His booming voice gave him a slight grin.
"So how bad is the damage?" He rasped out, still tasting vomit.
"The explosions on the Citadel sent you flying. Even by Krogan standards you're lucky to be alive."
"Well that wouldn't be the first time would it?" He lied back down with a slight grin on his face.
"Though they did need to do some more cutting."
Shepard's eyes darted back to the red, and now with a splash of green Krogan. "What are you talking about?"
"They needed to take most of a leg when they got you. At least now we'll have a fair fight when we spar. Heh-heh-heh."
"Funny." He dismissed it as a joke. Rather sick one at that. Wrex had always needed work on his sense of humor.
"Sorry buddy, but it's gone. Take a look for yourself."
Shepard looked under the blanket. It was like Wrex said. Less than half of his right leg was there.
"What did they do?!"
"Like I said Shepard, most of it had already been smashed up in the explosion."
His head fell back on the pillow lying at the head of the cot sighing heavily. Something struck him as strange, missing limbs aside.
"Where's Tali?"
Wrex responded with silence. Not the "I'm gathering my thoughts" silence, but rather "I was really hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this" silence. Though there wasn't much difference between them.
"Wrex, where are they?" Markus repeated.
"They don't know."
"What do you mean "they don't know"? Did they make the rendezvous?"
"The relays were destroyed Shepard. Earth is dark as far as the rest of the galaxy is concerned. They say it'll be at least a month before a patch is up. Sorry I wish I had better news."
"Get out of here Wrex." Markus said in a dry tone. "Get out of here right now."
"I'll be outside if you need me."
The loyal tank of a Krogan walked out, delicately by Krogan standards and stood near the entrance to the medical tent; a large dark shadow outlined where he stood.
Shepard then put his pillow on his face and tried smothering himself with it. Half was to get some of the rage out, the other half to put himself into a dangerous enough state to wake up if it was a dream. In the end, he only wore himself out drifting off into another nightmare.
ABLE/NOVEMBER;
Sorry for the delay in posting. Had to go back and re-write the half with Shepard.
As posted with my other story, I'm back in class and re-focusing my efforts there along with social prospects. This means I'm not going to update all that frequently. Once, maaaybe twice a month will be the average.
