"Alright, when I call your name, step forward," Chief Hatchet ordered, "Staci Wood the puppet!"
"Uh, I'm not a puppet, I'm a real girl, yah," Staci said walking up to him. Her nose grew to a foot long. She laughed nervously.
"That's your patch of mud down there," Chief Hatchet pointed to a small patch by the 'Danger' sign.
Staci crossed her arms as she sat down, "Aw, dumped on a swamp? Man, I tell you, sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pinesap!"
Staci: Life is disappointing
Woe is all I know
Outed by my nose, that's just how it goes
For poor Staci Wood
Story of my life
Always doomed to fail
Cheated by a fox
Swallowed by a whale
That's the story of my life, oh yeah!
That's the story of my life!
Beth: Strife is never-ending
"Jasmine Pan!"
Jasmine: Banished from the town
"Junior Duckling!"
Junior: They dragged me from the pond
Ella: They broke my magic wand
Mickey and Jay: They blew our condos down!
"Scarlett Witch!"
Scarlett: Life is but a witch hunt
Kelly: Momma's in the mud, momma's in distress!
Geoff: They ridiculed my hat
Mickey and Jay: They said that we're too short!
Jo: They tore my cocked and grimy dress and called me a hot and tremmy mess!
"Katie and Sadie Fairies!"
All: Story of my life
Booted from the ball
Told to go away
Cody: Tumbled off a wall!
All: That's the story of my life
"You're late, Kitty!"
Kitty: That's the story of my life!
"Have fun, you guys!"
All: That's the story of my life!
"And remember, if we find you back in kingdom, you will be executed!," Chief Hatchet said, ignoring the various complaints as he left.
All: I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending
Scarlett: At this right here, not how it goes!
All: I always dreamed I'd get an ever after
If this is it, it blows!
It blows!
It blows!
"This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm disease I caught in Tijuana!," Staci cried.
Story of my life
All the wasted prayers
All broken dreams
Kelly and Taylor: All the broken chairs!
All: All the damage done
Kelly and Taylor: All the busted beds!
All: All the shattered bowls!
Kelly and Taylor: And the pourage on our heads!
All: That's the story of my life, yes sir!
That's the story of my life, oy vey!
That's the story of my...
...life!
Staci: Crap!
