"Alright, when I call your name, step forward," Chief Hatchet ordered, "Staci Wood the puppet!"

"Uh, I'm not a puppet, I'm a real girl, yah," Staci said walking up to him. Her nose grew to a foot long. She laughed nervously.

"That's your patch of mud down there," Chief Hatchet pointed to a small patch by the 'Danger' sign.

Staci crossed her arms as she sat down, "Aw, dumped on a swamp? Man, I tell you, sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pinesap!"

Staci: Life is disappointing

Woe is all I know

Outed by my nose, that's just how it goes

For poor Staci Wood

Story of my life

Always doomed to fail

Cheated by a fox

Swallowed by a whale

That's the story of my life, oh yeah!

That's the story of my life!

Beth: Strife is never-ending

"Jasmine Pan!"

Jasmine: Banished from the town

"Junior Duckling!"

Junior: They dragged me from the pond

Ella: They broke my magic wand

Mickey and Jay: They blew our condos down!

"Scarlett Witch!"

Scarlett: Life is but a witch hunt

Kelly: Momma's in the mud, momma's in distress!

Geoff: They ridiculed my hat

Mickey and Jay: They said that we're too short!

Jo: They tore my cocked and grimy dress and called me a hot and tremmy mess!

"Katie and Sadie Fairies!"

All: Story of my life

Booted from the ball

Told to go away

Cody: Tumbled off a wall!

All: That's the story of my life

"You're late, Kitty!"

Kitty: That's the story of my life!

"Have fun, you guys!"

All: That's the story of my life!

"And remember, if we find you back in kingdom, you will be executed!," Chief Hatchet said, ignoring the various complaints as he left.

All: I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending

Scarlett: At this right here, not how it goes!

All: I always dreamed I'd get an ever after

If this is it, it blows!

It blows!

It blows!

"This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm disease I caught in Tijuana!," Staci cried.

Story of my life

All the wasted prayers

All broken dreams

Kelly and Taylor: All the broken chairs!

All: All the damage done

Kelly and Taylor: All the busted beds!

All: All the shattered bowls!

Kelly and Taylor: And the pourage on our heads!

All: That's the story of my life, yes sir!

That's the story of my life, oy vey!

That's the story of my...

...life!

Staci: Crap!