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Chappie 2 – Edward's confessions

In the moment I opened my eyes I knew I must be dead. Edward was sitting beside me, his face anxious. Yet it all seemed so real. His cold touch on my hand, his sweet breath on my face, and his eyes so

beautiful, but pitch black. He was thirsty, and I smelled like a snack. Could I be dead then? Edward from my dreams always had butterscotch eyes. I can't be in hell or Edward wouldn't be with me. But can I be in

heaven when I'm so awfully tired, cold and sore? "Bella?" Edward's velvet voice brought me back to reality. And then, after a year without him, with so many things to say, I asked him the dumbest question I

could imagine, "Am I dead?" A confused expression passed across Edward's face.

"Dead? No I don't believe you're dead, although it was pretty close," his tone was disapproving at the end. Oh, right. I tried to commit suicide yesterday and Edward (I think) jumped in after me. "Was that you?"

my voice was so low it was almost a whisper. Edward rolled his eyes at me. "Jumping in after you? Yes it was me. Would you mind telling me the reason you jumped off that cliff?" what? He's asking me the

reason I just tried to kill myself? "Are you kidding, or do you really not know why I wanted to commit suicide?" Now I was getting pissed. Why did he bother saving me at all? By now I would be in a happier

place. Instead, I'm stuck with a vampire I love the most in the world in his house and an awful headache. "Bella how can I know why if I was away for almost a year?" his tone was still confused.

"Exactly my point! You left me in the middle of the woods, telling me you don't care about me anymore and I was just a distraction in this stupid, little town! Now you come back, save me from drowning in the

sea and you don't even know why I jumped in the first place!" I was really starting to lose it. How dare he sit here with an innocent expression, when I lived through hell in those past months. I felt something

wet on my cheek. Great. Just when I needed to stay together, one traitorous tear escaped from under my closed eyelids. I ducked my head and wiped it off quickly, hoping he didn't notice. It was a vain hope.

Jeez sometimes those extra vampire senses really got on my nerves. "Bella, I'm sorry. I know sorry doesn't cover even half of what I have done, but trust me, I never felt sorrier for my actions than I do now".

His voice was so full of pain; it made me look up at his face. I'm sure that if vampires could cry, Edward would be crying right now. The hurt in his onyx eyes pierced me through like a broken arrow. I dropped my

head. "How am I supposed to believe you, if you lied to me for so long? How can I be sure you're telling me the truth now?" I whispered. I couldn't bear to look at his beautiful face again. "I lied because I

wanted to keep you safe. I should have thought that it's impossible for you to stay safe for a long time," the corners of his mouth pulled up in a grim smile, "I lied to you in the forest when I told you I don't want

you anymore. My existence doesn't make sense without you, because you are my life, since the day I met you, till the day I die, or the world ends, whichever comes first." That was it. The tears spilled over, and I

leaned into Edward's shoulder, expecting him to push me away. But he didn't. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me. I believed him because I'd rather waste my life pretending than have to

forget him for one whole minute. So I pretended that he still cared about me, that he still wanted me. I breathed in his sweet scent, crying while he held me. I don't know how much time passed, I didn't really care.

All I cared about was the person in my arms. My personal guardian angel.


Finally, after what seemed like decades, I finally started to calm down. Edward was looking at me anxiously. "Sorry Edward," His name burned my throat a bit, "I wish you didn't have to see that" my voice was

hoarse from all the crying. I was just about to ask him for a drink when a cold hand passed me a glass of water. "Thanks," I muttered, chugging down the water. He still didn't speak. He just kept looking at me.

"Why are you staring at me?" I asked, feeling self-conscious. "I'm remembering how beautiful you are", his eyes were so deep I felt I was drowning in them. I couldn't detect any trace of lie in his voice and I felt

hopeful. Maybe he loved me after all. No, I wouldn't think like that. He may still care a bit about me, and I just tried to kill myself because of him so he probably felt guilty too. But he doesn't love me. Edward

made it clear last time we met. The memory filled me in and suppressed all my little glints of hope. I started to get up. "Where are you going?" Edward's voice was confused again. "I'm going home."

"Bella, please stay with me," his voice was no more than a broken whisper. I wanted to sit back down, forget about the past and stay with Edward. It's impossible to forget the past, its part of our future. I knew

those words much too well. Without a backward glance I strode out of the house. Crap. I don't have my truck here with me. Should I walk, or ask Edward for a ride? I almost decided on walking when I heard his

quiet voice from behind me. "I'll take you home". I followed him out into the Cullen garage. Edward opened the passenger door of his Volvo, but didn't speak as I got in. Soon he was speeding, much too fast

down a dark road. None of us said anything, but the silence didn't bother me. It gave me time to think and I have so much to think about. What if Edward is saying the truth? What if he still loves me? The

moment I saw him my heart was whole again. But if I let myself hope, and it would be in vain, I know I wouldn't be able to live through that again. So wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't even notice we were in

front of Charlie's house. I looked over at Edward. He was staring straight ahead, his face cold, just like the last time I saw him. "Umm, thanks for the ride," I started to get out, when I heard Edward say my

name, "Bella, I love you and I'll be waiting for you, no matter how longs it takes. You know where to find me if you need something. Goodnight, Bella" I got out of the car as fast I could without tripping, which

was of course impossible. I narrowly avoided falling on my face, only by holding out my hands in front of me. Edward was by my side in a second (jeez, why did he have to be so fast!?) "Are you alright?" his

voice was anxious but I could tell he was hiding a smile. "I'm fine," I didn't look at him again as I went inside.


Charlie was standing in the kitchen. Oh, crap. I forgot about Charlie. What am I supposed to tell him? Hi Charlie, sorry I wasn't here all night, but I tried to commit suicide and Edward saved me. Great. Fabulous.

"Where have you been all night?" he demanded, not even bothering to say hello. "Do you have any idea how much I was worried about you?" Ugh, the last thing I needed was a mad Charlie.

"Sorry dad, I forgot to call you, I was at Angela's house for a sleepover" I'm a terrible liar, and Charlie knows that. So of course he didn't believe me. "Sleepover? You don't have any stuff with you." Damn, I

forgot about that. I wish Alice was here. She would know what to say. "Yeah, umm I forgot my things at Angela's." Charlie still looked suspicious, but he didn't drill any farther. He stomped away to the living

room and turned the TV on. I breathed a sigh of relief and went upstairs.