"Mom! Dad! I'm home!" called Timmy, slamming the door behind him. Puddle water was still dripping from his hair and face. To his surprise, there was no response, just silence and the distant sound of Sparky's claws clicking on the floor in the dining room as he sniffed around. "Mom?...Dad?" He began ascending the stairs to his room, his fairies following him, still in squirrel form. As he got closer, he started to hear a squeaking sound and what sounded like his parents' voices. He followed the sound and realized it was coming from his Mom and Dad's bedroom.
"Alright, you can go on to my room now," Timmy whispered to his fairies. "I'm checking this out." His fairies poofed away, and Timmy kicked the door open with such force that it nearly came off the hinges. "Aha! I fouuuuunnd...you?"
Timmy's Mom was lying on the bed naked, and moaning, "Oh, yes, honey, fuck me harder," as his Dad, also completely nude, was thrusting his peepee into a hole in Mom's crotch area. Timmy did not understand what was going on, being naive and all, so he just watched in horror with his jaw on the floor.
Finally, Timmy had to interrupt. "What the hell are you guys doing?"
His parents gasped suddenly. "TIMMY! What the fuck do you think you're doing in here?" shouted Mom.
"You are in big, biiiigggg trouble, mister!" added Dad.
"But, Mom, Dad, I just wanted to know where you were," their son protested, "and now that I've found out where you are I still don't know what you're doing!"
His Mom and Dad seemed to soften, remembering that he was still ten. They smiled.
In Timmy's room, Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof heard the sound of a door opening, then Timmy yelling, then a loud "thump."
"Well, Timmy, did you find out what was going on yet?" Wanda said when Timmy walked into the room.
Timmy rubbed his ass. "Mom and Dad said they were practicing some 'naked wrestling' for some sort of competition. Then Dad kicked me out of the room for some reason."
"Oh, that's nice," screeched Cosmo in his effeminate voice. "We naked wrestle all the time, dooonn't wweee Waaandaa?" Hearts appeared over both their heads and Wanda giggled. Cosmo winked at Timmy.
"...I don't have time for your gushy-mushy bullshit," their godchild muttered after a pause, not getting that "naked wrestling" was a euphemism. He was about to walk away when Jorgen suddenly poofed into the room.
"Timmy, your fairies are no longer all yours! You have to share them with a girl named Chloe!" roared Jorgen.
"Hell, naw, I ain't sharing Cosmo and Wanda with nobody!" Timmy ripped Jorgen's wand out of his hands and jabbed the black stick end in his eye. Jorgen screamed, gushing blood out of his eye. He stumbled backwards through the window, getting glass shards all over him, with one going into his dick.
"You forgot Poooooooof!" Jorgen yelled as he fell, hitting the grass hard and cracking his skull open. Blood was everywhere. But, being a fairy, Jorgen reincarnated and reappeared in Timmy's room. "Timmy, that was the worst thing you have ever done! And do you know that even if I couldn't reincarnate, you would still have to share your fairies?"
"FUCKIN' SERIOUSLY?!" hollered Timmy. "I already told you, no one gets to have Cosmo and Wanda but me!"
"And Poof," reminded Jorgen.
Timmy sighed. "And Poof. And I'll make sure I get to keep them for myself, even if that means I have to kill this, this Chloe person!"
Everyone else gasped as a cliché dramatic "dun-dun-dunnnnn" sting played in the background. But then the third "dunnnnn" kept repeating over and over. "Oh, shit, sorry," Jorgen said, turning off the record player.
"Timmy Turner!" Wanda shouted at her godchild. "I can't believe how big of a selfish little bitch you're being! Stop this tantrum right now, or we're going to go live with Chloe and you'll never see us again!"
"Screw you, Wanda! You remind me of my mom, always yelling at me for being who! I! Am!" Timmy fell to his knees. "Cosmo's right! You are naggy, and you know it!" he sobbed.
"Timmy, it's okay," Cosmo said soothingly, putting his arm around Timmy. "I know you didn't expect this news. And I do agree that Wanda is naggy. Do you want a Kleenex?" Timmy nodded, sniffling. Snot was hanging from his left nostril. Cosmo poofed up a box of Kleenex, which allowed Timmy to blow his nose. His male godparent stuck his finger in his ear, then pulled out some jelly with bits of earwax on it. "Want some ear jelly?"
"EUUUURGH!" Wanda, Poof, Timmy, and Jorgen screamed in disgust.
Cosmo put the jelly back in his ear. "What? I had jelly in my ears when Poof was born, and you weren't really grossed out then!"
"If you makes you feel any better, honey, would you like us to not talk about it for a few days?" offered Wanda. "You can get to know Chloe a little bit before we introduce ourselves to her."
"Can I make one last wish before I stop being your only godchild?" Timmy asked, with a little smile.
"Of course you can, sweetie!" answered Wanda.
"I wish the legal driving age in this state was lowered to 10, I wish I had a driver's license, and I wish I had a '66 Chevelle!" Timmy wished.
"Poof-poooof!" Poof squealed, waving his rattle. In a puff of fairy smoke, a driver's license appeared in Timmy's hands and the Chevelle appeared outside in the driveway.
"Oh, my God!" exclaimed Timmy, running outside. "Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my Godddd!" It was beautiful, with a shiny more-blue-than-green exterior and an interior in the same color, with a long, soft, vinyl bench seat in front that could seat three or four tall adults comfortably, and three or four more in the back. "It's got a rare three-on-the-tree, and LAP BELTS! Fuck shoulder belts! Fuck safety!"
He already knew what he was going to use this car for.
To find where Chloe lives, drive to her house, and kill her.
Sparky's a good friend, thought Timmy, grinning. Maybe he won't mind helping me kill Chloe.
