Chapter 2
"I am ever so sorry Mr Carson … I don't know what came over me …" Mrs Hughes said anxiously, as she swept up the last of the broken china from the floor.
"No need to apologise Mrs Hughes … I gave you a shock … it is indeed shocking news …" Mr Carson said kindly.
Mrs Hughes realised she could not avoid the topic any longer. She had not said a word about Alice since Mr Carson had declared his news; instead focusing on clearing up and fussing about the broken china. She finally put down the sweeping brush and pan and looked at her friend.
"I just don't understand Mr Carson … Mr Grigg said that Alice had been dead for 5 years … why would he lie about something like that?" Elsie asked, total confusion written across her face.
She was trying to suppress the ominous feeling, the panic, that was rising within her. She felt quite faint as she stood gazing worriedly at Mr Carson.
"I have no idea Mrs Hughes … your guess is as good as mine … I am more than stunned I can tell you … I just took him at his word … it never occurred to me that he could be lying … or perhaps he wasn't … perhaps he really did think she had died … oh I really don't know … it is all so baffling …" Mr Carson stumbled.
Her heart ached for him; he looked so lost and so confused. She knew she was being selfish, thinking about her own feelings instead of his. She needed to be there for her friend.
"Well Mr Carson … although this is shocking news … it is rather lovely news as well … your good friend Alice is alive … you must be delighted …" Mrs Hughes said caringly, swallowing the fear she was feeling.
"Oh I am … I certainly am Mrs Hughes … all of those years … even before Grigg told me she had died … I never thought I would ever see Alice again … it had been over thirty years … and then when he said she was dead … well that was the end of any hopes or dreams I may have had … but now …" Mr Carson said wistfully, a happy smile on his face.
"Now?" Mrs Hughes asked hesitantly, feeling total dread but smiling supportively at her friend.
"Now … well I am not sure really … but it is simply wonderful …" he beamed.
"Wonderful indeed …" Mrs Hughes nodded, smiling genuinely at her friend.
######
It was late evening and most of the staff had already gone upstairs to bed. Mrs Hughes had determinedly avoided Mr Carson all day. She was completely torn; desperate to know every detail about Alice and the contents of the letter and yet fearful of what she would hear. She knew that she had been in a daze throughout the day; both Anna and Mrs Patmore had noticed something was amiss but she had pretended she was simply feeling unwell.
She felt awful that she could not be genuinely pleased for him. His lost love had reappeared after all of these years; she knew she should be thrilled for her friend. However, she felt nothing of the sort. She dare not analyse her own feelings or reaction to Mr Carson's news; she was scared of what she might conclude. All that she knew what that the thought of Mr Carson and Alice made her feel very anxious indeed.
Mrs Hughes knew that it would look odd if she did not have a drink with Mr Carson before retiring, they had fallen into the lovely habit of sharing a drink every evening before bedtime, and therefore with a heavy heart, she walked to his pantry and knocked gently on the door.
"Come in … ahh Mrs Hughes … I am so pleased to see you … I haven't seen you all day …" Mr Carson said joyfully. Mrs Hughes couldn't help but be touched by the look of genuine delight on his face.
"Yes … I am sorry Mr Carson … it has been a busy day …" she smiled.
"No need to be sorry … I am just very glad to see you ... I missed you … sherry?" he asked.
"Yes please …" she replied, touched by his sentiments.
She sat down in her usual chair and gladly accepted the glass of sherry from Mr Carson.
"I wanted to talk to you about the letter … about Alice …" he said.
Mrs Hughes took a large breath and nodded.
"Yes of course ... what did the letter say? Unless you would rather not tell me …" she quickly added.
"Of course I will tell you … you are my most trusted friend Mrs Hughes … I would like to know what you think …" he replied.
He then surprised her by picking up the letter from the sideboard and handing it to her. He smiled and motioned for her to read it. She took another huge gulp of air.
Her hand was shaking as she took the letter from the envelope and began to read,
'Dear Charles
I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and spirit. I have wanted to get in touch with you for so long but I was apprehensive about doing so, for fear that my correspondence may be unwelcome. However, neither you nor I are getting any younger and so I decided to take the chance and write to you; hoping that at the very least, I could offer my sincerest regards and best wishes, even if you choose never to reply.
It has been so long since we last met, almost 40 years, and yet I think of you often. I have only fond memories of our friendship and our time together. I realise, however, that your memories may not be quite as warm and I know that, regrettably, I caused you great pain. No amount of remorse on my part will change that.
I would be delighted to receive a reply to my letter and even more delighted if you would agree to meet me, to catch up on old times. I reside in Ripon presently and therefore would be free to meet at any time that is convenient to you. I look forward with hope to your reply.
Yours faithfully,
Alice Neal.'
Mrs Hughes finished reading the letter, placing it back in its envelope and handing it to Mr Carson without a word. He was looking at her with anticipation. She kept running the words over and over in her mind. Alice had called him Charles and she talked of fond memories of their friendship and time together. She had also talked of the pain she had caused Mr Carson. Yes, Mrs Hughes thought angrily, you did cause him pain; you chose his best friend over him and broke his heart. You broke my dear friend's heart, Elsie thought furiously. She looked up at Mr Carson; he was still waiting for her to say something. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.
"She wants to meet you …" Mrs Hughes said. She really did not know what else to say.
"She does … I cannot believe it but she does …" he smiled.
"Are you going to … meet her that is?" Mrs Hughes asked, although she already knew the answer.
"Yes … yes of course … it has been so long … it will be lovely to see her … do you not think I should meet her?" he asked worriedly, he could sense Mrs Hughes's caution.
"Yes … yes … it's just … you once said that you felt she had treated you badly …" Mrs Hughes said as levelly as she could manage.
"I did … but that was before ... before I knew … before Mr Grigg told me …" his words faltered.
"Told you that she loved you …" Mrs Hughes finished for him.
"Yes … Mrs Hughes … you don't think … no please ignore me … I am being ridiculous …" he said, embarrassed to even have such thoughts.
"I don't think what Mr Carson?" Mrs Hughes asked, trying to remain calm.
She watched as Mr Carson looked flustered and uncomfortable. She could see that he wanted to say something but he was very uneasy and discomfited and could not quite find the words. He looked at Mrs Hughes with the most sincere yet nervous smile,
"You don't think she still loves me?" he whispered.
Mrs Hughes felt her heart break in two.
A/N: Thank you very, very much for your kind reviews for Chapter 1. Please do keep reviewing x
