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Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll One, Part Two: Employee Training Continues
By Kaori
In a secret underground facility known only to Ninja Burger's employees, trainee employees, and the Illuminati ('cause they know everything; Hail Discordia!), Ninja Burger hopefuls train to become full fledged employees.
"KIBA! That is not the correct way to cut an Onion Death Blossom! INO, SAKURA! Stop ogling Sasuke and get back to packaging those fries! CHOUJI! Help Haru out of the deep fat fryer!" Umino Iruka, quite possibly the most overworked trainer in the entire facility was about two more yells away from sacrificing a random student to the Ninja Resources bear.
"Calm down Iruka," Mizuki, another trainer, said from his spot near the mock dispatcher desk. "Here, have some cola."
"As much as I'd like to take you up on that offer, it's against the rules to consume food or drink in the training room." Said Iruka.
"Suit yourself."
Iruka rolled his eyes at that knowing that if he did "suit himself" he'd be chugging down on some ice cold cola right now instead of getting ready to yell at Shikamaru for slacking. He paused as he suddenly noticed that something was missing.
"By the way Iruka, have you seen Naruto?"
Ah, that explained a lot. The scarred man suddenly vanished and went to hunt down the missing student. Mizuki shook his head. Suddenly there was an ear-piercing scream that caused the instructor to sigh heavily.
"Yet another dead body to throw into the dumpster out back…"
A small figure clad almost completely in orange was adding the finishing touches to his masterpiece; a sombrero and moustache on the picture of the Fourth Franchise Manager.
Uzumaki Naruto, victim of the Fourth Hokage's drunkenness, orphan, and self-proclaimed future Franchise Manager appraised his handiwork with an air of pride. This would get him noticed for sure!
"Heheheh…" he chuckled. "Maybe I should black out a few more teeth…"
"Maybe you'd like to add a cigar too." A voice said behind him. Naruto turned around.
"Hey yeah, that's a good ide…oh hell."
Iruka dragged the boy back to the training room by the back of his jumpsuit.
"Really Naruto, this kind of behavior is unbecoming of a future employee. Don't you realize that your performance in class is vital to whether you get hired? You do know that if you don't pass the test tomorrow the Ninja Resources will sacrifice you to the bear!"
"Just let them try it!" Naruto retorted. "I'll pass that test and before you know it, I'll be runnin' this place, just you wait and see!"
Iruka smiled fondly at the boy. He remembered when he'd been that young and impulsive.
"Of course you will Naruto, but you've got to pass first." And before the boy could get in another word, he was thrown unceremoniously back into the training room. He landed on his head, next to Shikamaru.
"Getting in trouble again, Naruto?" drawled the lazy boy. "Man, you're so troublesome."
"Ah shut up." Growled Naruto, standing up.
"All right everyone, since Naruto has so much energy, you're all going to run a hundred laps. The slowest person gets sacrificed to the bear." Announced Iruka. The trainees groaned and glared at the blonde, who ignored them.
"Geez…" groaned Naruto as he rubbed the damp cloth over the glass frame. Once training was done and everyone else had gone home, Iruka forced Naruto to clean up his mess from earlier. "What did I do to deserve this?"
"You should be thankful I'm only making you clean up the pictures you defaced." Said Iruka, from his chair. "In the old days the Ninja Resources ninja would have cut off one of your fingers for dishonoring the franchise. In fact, given the amount of infractions you've committed, by all rights you shouldn't have any of your fingers at all. Anyway I'm not allowing you to go to bed until you've cleaned every bit of marker off of those pictures."
"Hmph."
The next day…
"All right, this is it." Said Iruka to the assembled Ninja Burger hopefuls. "Make or break time. As I call your name, enter the door to the right. First up, Aburame Shino…"
It wasn't long before it was Naruto's turn and he was quite annoyed to find that the first part of the test, was to find where the rest of the test was going to be taking place. Fortunately, Lady Luck loves him and he was able to locate the room (which at the time was disguised as a broom closet).
The second part of the test was far more difficult: fighting a bear. Thankfully it was not the bear or he'd have been in serious trouble; that motherfucker was evil. Bruised, shaken, and slightly mauled, Naruto stepped over the unconscious bear to enter the final testing area.
Iruka and Mizuki were waiting for him.
"You made it, congratulations Naruto." Smiled Iruka. "Now for your final test, make three Ninja Burgers."
Naruto inwardly flinched. He'd never been able to properly make a Ninja Burger! Oh well, what's the worse that could happen?
"Naruto, if you don't do something soon we're going to have to sacrifice you to the bear."
Oh yeah, there was that.
"Damn you Ninja Resources Department…" muttered Naruto. "Oh well here goes something…AAAH…." His hands moved in a blur as he gathered the necessary components and then…
"Fail!" barked Iruka. Naruto almost died right there on the spot.
"Now, now Iruka. He did make three Ninja Burgers." Mizuki said.
"Yes, but one is soggy, the other is burnt, and Naruto forgot the Kung Fu Grip on the third. I'm sorry, but as much as it hurts me to have to do this he'll have to be sacrificed to the bear." Dismayed, Iruka got up to fetch the Ninja Resources ninja. When he was gone, Mizuki walked over to the quivering boy.
"Naruto, there's no need to be scared…"
"Easy for you to say, you're not about to be eaten by a bear!" wailed Naruto.
"Well, there is a way for you to avoid that fate and pass the test."
"Really?" gasped the boy, hope filling his sapphire blue eyes. "How?" Mizuki smiled.
"Follow me and I'll show you…"
Ten minutes later, the Ninja Resources Ninja and Iruka came back to the room to find it deserted. Ten seconds later the alarm went off.
What does Mizuki have in mind? Will Naruto be sacrificed to the bear? Are we having fun yet? Next time on Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles, Scroll One, Part Three: Behold! The Double Ninja Burger!
