Maslow
Ninnik Nishukan
Summary: What do you need? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.
Self-esteem
Surprisingly, he was quiet during the ride home after he'd muttered a short recap to her of the events that had passed between him and DNAmy when Shego had bothered him about it.
So...Dr. D had been dumped, and she supposed this would give her fodder for endless insult matches from now on, but something about the way he looked made her hold her tongue about it.
If he'd been bawling like a big baby, she might've felt inclined to laugh and say 'I told you so', but now he was just kind of...well, quiet. There was no entertainment value in teasing him if he was just going to get all sad and withdrawn; the amusing thing about teasing him was watching him grit his teeth in annoyance and shout at her, livid with exasperation— and it was almost even better when she managed to work him up so badly that he could only reply with incomprehensible, furious grunts and exclamations. That was always priceless.
He was just kind of staring aimlessly into space as they drove home in the car that she'd stolen since the hover car had been destroyed, his brow furrowed as he occasionally chewed at his lip, not speaking another word to her--- and that was how she knew his ego was more hurt than usual and that he really wouldn't appreciate any negative comments from her at that point in time.
Also, this time when he'd called for her to come rescue him, there had been a much more desperate note in his voice than usual, and he'd yelled so loudly for her that his tremulous voice had echoed between the houses.
So...yeah. Maybe she would lay off the wisecracks for once. Besides, she'd already gotten her fun when she'd pestered him about liking DNAmy in the first place, and the fact that she'd been right about his feelings did give her a certain amount of smug satisfaction.
Apparently he'd just been quiet during their drive because he'd been thinking too hard or something, however, because almost as soon as they got home, he slumped down into the old couch in what passed for a living room in their lair, and just as she was about to leave to get herself something to eat and drink before bed, he suddenly started crying.
It looked like he'd only been able to hold it in for so long before he couldn't take it anymore. Shego sighed heavily before turning back; Dr. D had always been such a very sensitive person...!
"What now?" She asked irritably; she knew she sounded harsh, but she was hungry and tired and didn't quite have the patience to play psychologist for him.
Drakken was momentarily distracted by that; even if she was being a bit sharp, he certainly hadn't expected her to actually bother staying in the living room to ask how he was doing. After having briefly noted that fact to himself, however, he wasted no time in leaping at the unusual chance for attention and sympathy. "She— she doesn't want me! She dumped me for a monkey, Shego! A monkey!" He shouted hoarsely in between sobs. "How do you think that makes me feel?"
Gee, I wonder, Shego thought sarcastically, because the bawling certainly isn't giving me any clues. "According to what you told me, he's not actually a monkey," Shego pointed out calmly. "Sure, he's got monkey hands and feet, but technically—"
"Whatever, Shego!" He snapped. "He's got monkey parts, that's all I know! And I mean," He sniffled, his face scrounging up as he made an effort to stop crying, "I know I'm blue and all, but it has to be better than monkey parts, right?" He asked imploringly, staring up at her with big, wet puppy dog eyes from his position on the couch.
"Maybe, but a woman whose hobby is making freaky, giant hybrids of random animals probably wouldn't think that. She probably thinks that unnatural animal parts are adorable." Shego shrugged. "Besides, she knew the other guy first, right?"
Drakken grimaced with frustration, his eyes stinging with a fresh bout of tears. "But— but she flirted with me!"
"Sure, but it was just flirting. That's what flirting is."
"But— but how could she— it wasn't just flirting, she was— she was leading me on!" He wailed, once again losing the fight against the tears as he got up from the couch, pacing in an agitated semi-circle. "She said I was cute!" He pointed out, as if it was some pivotal piece of evidence in a murder trial or something. "Nobody ever calls me cute!"
"What can I say?" Shego shrugged carelessly; she was getting impatient, her stomach complaining insistently at the lack of any sustenance.
Drakken looked forlornly at his assistant, his jaw clenching tightly and his eyes prickling with more unshed tears. It wouldn't kill her to come up with something supportive, would it? Unfortunately, all Shego usually had for him was the cold, hard, uncomfortable truth, however, so he wasn't really surprised that she'd basically told him straight up that DNAmy hadn't meant anything more by her flirting than actual flirting, but it was still a little much to take for someone who'd just been rejected. Why was he denied of any solace? Why couldn't she just...well, lie to him about it so he'd feel better?
That just wasn't the way Shego did things, however.
Drakken's lower lip trembled, then, and it was with great shock that Shego realized, about a millisecond before it happened, that he was in fact hugging her, clinging to her while he sobbed his evil little heart out.
"Oh, Shego!" He cried, burying his face in her hair. "What am I going to do?"
Shego stiffened for a moment, overwhelmed by the completely unusual turn of events; he'd never, in the four or so years he'd associated with her, hugged her before. His body shook and shivered as the sobs hitched in his chest, and she felt a hot blast of discomfort, embarrassment and awkwardness go through her body. Drakken had never breached such an intimate line with her before, and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about it.
She hadn't thought that he'd felt familiar enough with her to actually break down in front of her and throw himself into her arms for comfort— that was not a level of familiarity that she was ready for at all, and the loud wailing only made it even more perplexing. Also, she hadn't had a bear hug like this since...well, since she'd still been living with her family, and she couldn't even remember ever letting anyone cry on her shoulder before, so it was all a little too much in its emotional intensity.
She was used to flirting, she was used to kisses and the passionate embraces of sex, but she was not used to being squished tightly with such abandon against a crying person because he needed her, because he needed comfort.
Drakken felt her tense up and slowly came back to himself, his tight grip on her weakening; what was he even doing, embarrassing himself like that? His face reddened as he fully realized he was actually doing such a thing as clinging onto his sidekick like a bawling limpet, smearing his tears and probably some snot as well all over her hair, and most likely creeping her completely out with his unexpected behaviour.
Shego had never been very physical in this aspect, and had never been that mushy, nostalgic or sensitive either, so this had to be utterly alien territory for her— even more so because it was him. Sure, he knew he could be temperamental and harsh, and that he liked his personal space; he knew he didn't exactly have a habit of going around hugging everybody, but even he had to have a warmer personality than Shego, so why did he even dare to hug her at all? Surely she'd melt his face or bend his spine like a pretzel for this!
And he'd had to suffer his mother's overzealous hugs all his life, and knew how claustrophobic they could make you feel, so why in the world was he subjecting Shego to one of them? And to think he'd inherited such an annoying family trait...!
Then again...even an evil super genius had to be allowed a moment of weakness, hadn't he?
"Oh, would you get over yourself, Drakken?" Shego huffed peevishly before pushing him off of herself. "You've known that woman for what, a few days, maybe? It's not like you've been married for years and she suddenly filed for an unexpected divorce after revealing to you that she'd been sleeping with your best friend or anything!" She rolled her eyes, patting his arm dismissively. "So stop whining, okay?"
Drakken only sniffled as he was pushed away from the comfort of Shego's arms, relieved and somewhat shocked that she wasn't throwing him across the room or something. "B-But I haven't— it's been years since I took a chance like that and asked...oh, you wouldn't understand..." He mumbled in embarrassment, wiping self-consciously at his tearful face with the back of his sleeve. Shego was used to being the one who was approached, not the one who approached others, he knew, and so she'd probably never set herself up for heartache like he'd just done. He had real difficulty, in fact, with picturing her being all nervous and shy around a boy, even back in high school.
Shego frowned curiously at him, tilting her hip; he'd never talked about his past love life or rather lack thereof before, and she was almost tempted to pursue the subject, but decided it was stupid. He'd probably just be all pathetic about it and start crying again as old memories were dragged into the light. And what did she really care about it, anyway?
"It's not even as if she was all that attractive," she pointed out helpfully, trying to make him get a grip on himself.
Unfortunately, this only agitated him further. "Like that even matters?" He hissed abruptly, his eyes narrowed. "I don't care how she looked! And besides, I'm not exactly Brad Pitt myself, am I?" He said sarcastically; was Shego really that shallow? "She was sweet and bubbly and she was a person who was actually nice to me for a change," He ranted, glaring pointedly at Shego at his last statement, "And we had shared interests— and, and wow, that lab— and she was so easily swayed into trying evil that she must have a lot of hidden potential and—"
"Good grief, why don't you just go and write a poem or something, huh?" Shego interrupted him irritably, holding up a hand; the sugary words pouring out the doctor's mouth made her want to gag. "I don't even wanna know! I only said it because I was trying to make you feel better."
He blinked at her in perplexity. "You did?"
Shego squirmed uncomfortably under his suddenly flabbergasted gaze. "Look, I'm hungry, okay? I don't want to do this anymore. I want to have something to eat, something to drink, maybe read a magazine... and then I want to just go to bed. It's been a long day for all of us."
Drakken regarded her silently for a moment before finally nodding solemnly. "I could eat."
Shego groaned inwardly; she hadn't meant for that to be an invitation. "Okay, but if you start crying again, I'm kicking you out of the kitchen."
"Fine." Drakken sighed heavily; she always had to be so blunt, didn't she? She was probably the very worst person in the world he could've acted like that in front of.
"And if you start binging on comfort food or something, you're out, too. It's already past midnight, for crying out loud." Shego muttered as she strode towards the kitchen. "With my luck, you'd probably turn into a gremlin or something..." she added, under her breath.
"What do you think I am, Shego?" Drakken objected with a moody grunt, as he followed after her. "Some silly teenaged girl?"
"Well, you did kind of sound like one back there..."
"Hey!"
Security of Body
He'd barely managed to hold onto the end of the rope she'd eventually tossed down to him to drag him back up with, and when she pulled him through the hatch, he stumbled forward, slumping against her like a dead weight. His limbs were stiff and frozen as he clung to her shoulders desperately, his entire body shaking, his head hanging down as he leaned forward against her as if she was a wall or something.
As she heard the irregularity of his breath and as she caught a glimpse of his terrified, wide eyes, she immediately knew she'd gone too far. But she wasn't going to let him have the pleasure of knowing that.
"You still think I'm soft?" She snapped, and felt his fingers go slack on her shoulders, his frantic panting slowing down. Suddenly he wrenched himself away from her, moving in a wobbly line across the small room until he dropped into a chair, one arm covering his face.
"Why…why did you do that?" He asked in a hoarse wheeze, still gulping softly for air.
"You needed to be taught a lesson." She said defiantly.
Finally, he looked up. "I…I needed to…?" He asked faintly, sounding incredulous.
"You were being a jerk."
Suddenly, he shot up from the chair, his fists bunched and his eyes narrowed. "I COME TO RESCUE YOU, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?" Shego found herself cowering back; she was used to him yelling, but she'd never heard him be this loud before when angry.
This was even worse than the time when he was stuck in somebody else's body and she managed to lose his original body. Back then, she'd been so stricken by shock— he was never genuinely angry in a menacing kind of way— that she'd actually resorted to a half-assed attempt at flirting in order to keep his rage at bay, but now it was so bad that she couldn't even get a word out, her knees practically shaking as she walked slowly backwards until she fell into the driver's seat. What was much more effective at scaring her than his anger, though, was herself; what mostly made her back away was the guilt that now flared up in her like a giant bonfire.
"I COULD HAVE DIED! I COULD HAVE DIED, SHEGO!" He bellowed, his face turning red and purple from agitation, his eyes wild. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU EVEN THINKING? WHAT DID YOU—" His voice broke, then, and she realized he'd been yelling so hard his voice failed on him; when she looked into his eyes, though, she could tell that it wasn't just about losing his voice. His eyes looked shiny and moist, and as his breath hitched wetly in his chest, she could tell that he was trying hard not to cry.
And worst of all, he sounded more hurt than afraid; he sounded so betrayed.
She heard herself gulping loudly. "We're flying over water. You wouldn't have died." Her own voice sounded so small that it freaked her out. Why did she sound like that?
"We're flying very far above water," he said thickly, hurt and disgust making his voice unsteady. "I would've most likely been knocked unconscious, and then I would've drowned."
"Um…"
When she was left practically speechless, Drakken brushed irritably past her to the driver's seat. "I'm steering." He said with finality.
"Uh, are you sure you're okay to—"
"I'm steering."
"Okay." She mumbled, holding her hands up in a placating manner as she backed away into the other seat.
Drakken was too distraught to even yell at her anymore, his thoughts going a mile a minute. What if he'd been left down there a few seconds longer, what if—?
He swallowed hard, his face turning a sickly shade of blue as he gripped the controls tightly, to keep his hands from shaking. Maybe he wasn't in any shape to drive, but there was no way he was going to let Shego be right about it. Gritting his teeth, he set his jaw with grim determination as he forced himself to concentrate on steering even if what he wanted most was just to collapse onto the floor and pull a blanket over his head.
He kept on, though, telling himself he would feel better as soon as he got some solid ground under his feet again. At least Shego was sitting in the back of the control room and couldn't see the look on his face.
The trip back to the lair was long and filled with a nerve-wracking silence.
Respect
The very next morning, at a time that was too early for anything in her opinion, she heard a strange sound coming from the lab when she stumbled into the kitchen to get some emergency coffee.
Groaning, she post-poned going back to bed. She hadn't slept well at all the night before, but she was too curious not to check out the noise; she didn't know why, but she had a bad feeling about it. The night before, after they got back to the lair, Drakken had immediately gone to his quarters without saying a word to her, slamming the door behind him, and she'd spent a lot of the night on pins and needles as she wondered what he might do.
Following the direction of the noise on her slippers, coffee cup in one hand and the other hand clutching her robe closed across her pajamas, she discovered him busily stuffing several suitcases full of odds and ends, looking like he was just finishing up his packing, and she immediately knew that something was even more the matter than she'd thought.
Dr. D was never up this early unless he'd actually stayed up until morning—
"Drakken?" She heard what had to be her own voice ask, except it was far too hoarse from sleep, and it stuck in her throat. Clearing her throat, she took a quick sip of coffee, and when she spoke again, she sounded better. "Where are you going?"
He didn't even turn around when he answered. "Does it really matter as long as it's away from you?" He spat, and she recoiled as if slapped; it was one of the few actually mean things he'd ever said to her. If it had been from anybody else, it wouldn't have fazed her at all, but from him it was an unpleasant, unexpected attack; it left her feeling as confused as she'd have been if she'd been surrounded by lions and a sheep had suddenly decided to try to gnaw her leg off or something,
Drakken finally whipped around to glare at her, and he was only further angered as she gave him a perplexed, almost uncomprehending stare. What, did she think he was going to get over it that easily? After being put in mortal danger just because she was offended?
"You just have no concept of the severity of what you did, do you?" He said coldly. The sight of Shego looking all innocent with her bed-head and her little slippers seemed suddenly deeply offensive to him. She had no business looking like that now when he could still remember the snarl on her lips and the mad, wrathful fire in her eyes as she pushed him out of the battle robot.
Somewhere in his mind, he registered the fact that she looked suspiciously frazzled and tired, and that her face was showing a lot more emotion than usual, but it was far from enough to alleviate the damage she'd done. It would take a lot more than that to convince him that she was repentant. She probably thought nothing of it, most likely she was just afraid of losing her job—
Shego cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Um, look…Drakken, I—"
"I don't want to hear it." He said tightly, and he really didn't; right now he felt so upset he knew he wouldn't even be able to think clearly, let alone actually listen to any explanations or even apologies that she might bring forward. He needed to get away for a while before dealing with this, or he'd just explode again—
The tension broke temporarily as a nervous henchman sidled up to them.
"Dr. Drakken, uh, there's a woman calling for you."
Drakken glanced at the henchman, briefly disoriented. "What? Oh, yes, um…just tell her I'll be there in an hour."
"Okay." The henchman nodded before hurrying away.
Shego turned to Drakken, frowning curiously. "Who's—?"
His face tightened with barely contained anger. "None of your business, Shego."
"Dr. D–" Shego began, a note of frustrated confusion in her objection.
"I'll be gone for a week. Consider yourself on unpaid vacation, starting right now." He told her sourly, before turning on his heel and leaving for his room.
He could feel Shego's eyes on the back of his head as he walked away. She obviously hadn't expected him to leave like that, and was probably stunned.
Good for her.
Author's note: Self-esteem is obviously set after Partners, and Security of Body and Respect is set after Go Team Go. This chapter reached seventeen pages, so I split it in two. The next chapter will be up soon.
