AN: it's 3:31 AM i'm so tired what's happening i don't know what's uhh well um, thanks a bunch for the feedback, guys! i changed the rating to T by your requests, although aside from the ideologically sensitive concept of "incest," there probably won't be anything overly offensive…? probably. not sure. but oh well. i changed it anyway! i don't know anything about planes because i've never been near one, so don't laugh at me if the plane-stuff is inaccurate :( len is still hideous and friendless
Today was the day, and I felt a strange sort of pressure weighing against me. Or maybe that was just my two heavy suitcases threatening to pop either of my arms out of their sockets. Either way, I wobbled out of the apartment to be greeted by Auntie. She was already in her little, red car and ready to go.
"Come on, Len! We're going to miss your plane if we don't leave soon!" she shouted jovially, giving her horn a couple of unnecessary honks. I just smiled and shook my head, then heaved my luggage into the trunk. She seemed more enthusiastic about this trip than I was.
I stood back and took one last look at our apartment before hopping into the passenger's seat. Our apartment was old and it wore its age, but it wasn't in a total state of disrepair, either. Even with its dirty windows and peeling paint, it was home. Watching it slide out of my vision and into the distance sort of finalized everything for me, and I felt sad seeing the familiar sight become a mere dot in the horizon. I would only be gone a few months, I reminded myself, but regardless, I couldn't shake the heavy feeling.
I suddenly thought of the peers I was leaving behind, and that was exponentially more upsetting. It dawned on me that I hadn't felt close enough to anyone to even bother telling them I'd be gone all summer. I mean, I had buddies at school that I hung out with after class on occasion, but other than that… Was I really that anti-social? A few names flashed through my head. Acquaintances, colleagues, pals. My mind didn't really apply the word "friend" to any of them, though. My face scrunched up in perplexity. I blamed it on the busy semester and tried not to dwell on it any further.
But Auntie must have noticed my strange expressions out of the corner of her eye, because she immediately said, "Hey, honey! Don't be scared about the trip, okay? Planes can actually be pretty fun." She was more observant than that, and I had a feeling she knew that my sudden turmoil was not over the plane ride. She probably just wanted to make light conversation to get my mind off things. That in itself just showed how well she knew me, I suppose.
"I'll try not to worry, then," I replied through a half-hearted smile. Excluding phone calls, this would be the last time I could talk to her for months, and I wanted it to be a pleasant conversation. "I've got a new book I've been wanting to read, so that should keep me distracted."
Auntie laughed. "Just be careful you don't get airsick, okay? I know you have a weak stomach." She reached over and poked me in the tummy. I reeled away from the contact.
"Keep both hands on the wheel, please, Auntie," I said with a scowl but a playful tone. Auntie laughed again. She always laughed too much and too loudly, but I liked that about her. She made everything seem more amusing than it really was. Without even really understanding why, I chuckled a little too.
When we got to the airport, she called Kaito, explaining that he wanted to say bye to me over the phone since work had prevented him from seeing me off in person. I exchanged a sincere farewell with my surrogate father, tightly embraced my aunt like the fearful child that I was, and waved goodbye as I left to board my plane. I imagined Auntie's smooth, always well-manicured hand holding mine and leading the way like she had when I was small, and then I felt ashamed of myself for being so immature. She wasn't always going to be there to hold my hand—in all senses of the phrase—and I needed to stop fretting about treading unknown territory. That was just a part of growing up.
Once I had settled into my seat, I peaked out the window in the hopes of seeing her once last time. However, I could not find her face in the crowds of strangers. When the plane took off, I gripped the sides of my seat and fancied that my heart had been left somewhere on the ground back at the airport. That's how it felt, anyway.
Paranoia settled in again, and those pesky "what ifs" started buzzing around my head like a big, fat fly. I pulled out my new book and tried to force myself to be interested in it. It only took about five pages for me to realize that I did, in fact, have a weak stomach… Or perhaps I was just that nervous. Either way, my insides started doing acrobatics.
I spent most of the rest of the flight trying to sleep off nausea.
When I woke up, I had a brief moment of panic. Shoot, did I fall asleep in class? Did someone see me? Wait, I'm on vacation now. Where am I? A few frenzied scans of my surroundings reminded me that I was still on a plane. I exhaled and sunk back into my seat. The sound of a woman giggling chimed.
"Are you feeling better?" asked the red haired girl sitting next to me. I remembered, ah, yeah, I had seen her briefly when we were boarding the plane. I was too distracted by my nausea afterwards, though, so I had forgotten that she was even there. I felt embarrassed that she saw… well, everything, but I tried to ignore my embarrassment in favor of manners.
"Yeah, I'm okay now, I think. Thanks." I rubbed the back of my head. My short ponytail was in a ridiculous state of disarray, half of the hair having escaped its rubber band. I grunted and tugged the rubber band out of the tangled mess.
"Here, I can fix it for you," the girl offered, putting out an expectant hand. I would have preferred to do it myself, but she looked harmless and well-meaning, and I hated the thought of turning her down. With some hesitation, I gave her the band and turned my back towards her, muttering a brief thanks.
"My name's Miki, by the way," she said amiably, combing my hair back with her fingers. "So what are you headed over to the west coast for?"
"Visiting family for the summer. Oh, and I'm Len." I wished she would hurry up. It was seriously awkward to have an older girl I didn't even know raking through my hair. "What about you?"
At last, she slipped the band on and struggled to wrap it tightly around my unruly mop. When she was done, I faced her and mumbled another quick thanks. I reached up to assess her work. It was nice and neat. Not bad.
"I've got a boyfriend out here, so we're hanging out a little for the summer too." She lit up like a Christmas tree, excitement apparent on her face. "I almost never get to see him, so I've really been looking forward to this!"
She was a decently pretty girl, probably at least a few years my senior. Her long, red hair looked clean and well-kept, but that didn't stop a few ridiculous cowlicks from springing out of submission. There was one particularly prominent cowlick at the very crown of her head, jutting straight into the air with a slight curl, seemingly defying all laws of gravity. If I didn't have better self-control, I would have been tempted to pull on it and see if it would spring back into place.
"I see," I said with a nod, trying to sound interested. I still wasn't feeling great, and honestly, I was more interested in figuring out how much longer it would be until we reached our destination. I took a couple of anxious peeks out the window.
"Oh, we should be landing in about half an hour," she informed me, as if reading my mind.
"Ah," I exhaled, settling back into my seat and wondering if it was worth it to even bother trying to read more of my book before we arrived.
Miki shut down that option by striking more conversation. Apparently, she was very eager to have someone to talk to. Perhaps she hadn't brought anything to entertain her, because I certainly wasn't the best conversationalist. "So, who are you visiting exactly? Grandparents? Cousins?"
I was hoping to avoid that subject.
I coughed and mumbled a little before finally answering audibly, "Um, my mother and sister…"
She made an overly dramatic expression of mortification, as if she had accidentally just stabbed me. "Oh gee, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to pry into uncomfortable territory… It's okay, my parents are divorced too…"
I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cough some more. I opted for coughing, as that seemed more suited for this situation. "Umm, they're not… divorced. My dad died a long time ago, and I've been living with my aunt ever since."
It took a lot of will-power to keep myself from laughing at the progression of horror on her face. If her expression had been funny before, it was downright hilarious now. I felt guilty for making her feel… well, guilty, but the exaggerated, almost comical way her mouth gaped open and her hands flailed around was too much.
"Oh gosh! Oh geez! I'm so, so, so, so sorry! I didn't—I mean, oh gosh—I'm sorry, I am such a moron! I'm seriously sorry, I didn't realize…"
"It's okay, really," I said, unable to prevent a small chuckle from slipping. It was probably completely inappropriate of me, but I laughed anyway. "It happened a long time ago, and I was really young, so to be honest, it doesn't really bother me."
"A-are you sure?" she whimpered, searching my tone for honesty. "Seriously, if you're upset, please don't hold back. You can even cry on my shoulder if you want. I'm super sorry."
I snorted and politely turned down the offer. "I mean it. It's fine. I just didn't really want to talk about it because it's been, like, thirteen or fourteen years since I've seen them, and I'm kind of nervous."
At the mere mention of my nervousness, my stomach started flipping again. I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore it.
"Ohh, I see…" Miki bit her lip thoughtfully. Her cowlick almost looked like it was twitching as she thought, but I'm sure that was just my imagination. Or my airsickness. "Wow, that's a long time. You're probably worried about how well you'll get along with them, right? Sorry, am I being too nosy?"
Yes, she was, but I shook my head no. "I'm a little worried about it."
"Well, I'm sure it'll be fine!" she assured passionately. I didn't really feel reassured, since she knew nothing of me, my family, or the circumstances, so she had no basis to be so sure things would be fine. But even still, she seemed convinced. "You seem like a good boy. Just in case you need anything or want advice, here's my cell phone number, okay?"
She jotted a number and address down onto a random scrap of paper that she rooted out of her purse. I noticed that the address wasn't that far away from my mother's residence. I had no intention to actually ever call upon the aid of this peculiar woman, but I took the paper anyway. Miki was very good at making it hard to say no.
"Thanks," I said, slipping the number into my pocket. A flight attendant announced over the intercom that everyone needed to return to their seats and buckle up. I was already in position, so I just shrugged my shoulders and went back to staring out the window. Admittedly, I did feel a little less jittery after talking to Miki. Whether it was because of what had been said, or just the fact that I let out some pent-up energy by talking, I didn't really know.
After we landed, Miki helped me locate my luggage before bidding me a brief farewell, reminding me to call her if I needed it, and running off to find a taxi. I was left to look around the airport stupidly. I knew I was supposed to meet up with my sister, but the airport was big, and there were a lot of people. How was I supposed to find her? Should I stay put or go search for her?
My legs felt stiff, so I decided to walk around, even though it was against my better judgment. Worst case scenario, I supposed I could call Auntie to get mother's phone number, and then find out if Rin had a cell phone on her…
I should have asked for those in the first place. Frowning slightly at this huge oversight, I grumbled and walked over to a vending machine. It contained nothing but junk food, but I was hungry and everything looked good. We exchanged a dollar for a chocolate bar. I gnawed idly on my prize while wandering about some more.
Literally right as I was about to give up and fish out my cell phone, another body collided into me at such a velocity that I was knocked right off my feet. I would have been making out with the floor were it not for the other being's quick reflexes, hastily grabbing me by one arm and yanking me back onto a stable surface. It all happened within approximately a two-second timespan.
"LEN!" the perpetrator of the human car crash exclaimed, forcibly spinning me around to face her. For the owner of such small hands and thin arms, this person possessed an alarming amount of strength that I was too startled to struggle against. I blinked about six times before realizing it was my sister.
"Uh, whuh… Rin?" I grunted unintelligibly. I immediately regretted the words the moment they left my mouth. Great first impression, me. Mumbling like a brain-damaged barbarian. But what was to be expected? I had just seen my life flash before my eyes. And come to think of it, I think my chocolate met an untimely death too. I spotted it under Rin's right foot. I didn't bother to point it out, though, and instead went to work in collecting my dropped luggage.
"Len!" she blurted again, this time at a less ear-shattering volume, looking rather embarrassed herself. Her hair was tousled and she sounded out of breath. "Sorry, I-I didn't mean to tackle you like that! I was looking everywhere for you, and I didn't want to lose track of you..."
"Sorry, I probably should have stayed put when I arrived," I apologized with a sheepish smile.
"It's okay! Um…" She fidgeted with her hands for a bit before putting one out. It was a thin, shaky hand that I realized bore a striking resemblance to my own. "I guess… it's nice to meet you? Right?"
We exchanged nervous giggles. I shook my head and said, "No, it's… This isn't the first time. It's good to see you again." I put my bags back down and awkwardly held out my arms.
I mentally chided myself, This is stupid and cheesy, she's gonna laugh at me, what am I doing, but she broke into a wide grin and collided into me again, wrapping tentative arms around my waist.
"It's good to see you again," she echoed with another strained giggle.
It was surreal, hugging someone I hardly knew, but was supposed to know, and used to know. She released me pretty quickly, and there was a lot of weird, uneasy atmosphere left hanging between us. We didn't say much after that.
Basically, it was just really awkward.
Awkward, awkward, awkward. But I was beginning to feel excitement, too. She seemed willing enough to accept me, and that was a relief. I looked forward to getting to know her and our mother. I started believing—even if only a little bit—what Miki had said.
"It'll be fine."
I hoped and prayed it would be fine. I really wanted it to be.
