Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing. The characters don't belong to me, and neither does anything CSI related….except for the DVDs of the first two series (those are most definitely mine!).
Spoilers: Same as chapter 1.
AN: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I got so many that I decided to update today. I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as the last one. Please let me know what you think!
It was bright outside when Sara heard a knock at the door. She had only been home a couple of hours and already someone was…someone was what? She never had any visitors; so who the hell was at her door? Out of curiosity, she rose to her feet and made her way to the door.
Looking through the spy-hole, she was surprised to see Catherine Willows. What on earth was she doing here? Sara was just as much surprised by her presence, as by the fact that her colleague knew where she lived. The older woman looked faintly irritated at been kept waiting, and she raised her hand to knock on the door again. Sighing, Sara pulled it open.
The red-head's eyes went over her appraisingly. "Sara, you look terrible."
She folded her arms over her chest. "Hello to you too Catherine." As she watched the other CSI walk into her apartment, without waiting for an invitation, Sara thanked her lucky stars that she hadn't started packing yet.
"Well, was there something that you wanted?"
Catherine opened her purse and pulled something out. It was…oh, no. I was her letter to Grissom.
Sara's face paled slightly as the realization struck her, but she didn't move a muscle. If her unwelcome guest was disappointed with her lack of emotion, she didn't show it. She just stood there waiting for the brunette to say something. She knew Sara Sidle pretty well by now, and she was sure that she was very pissed off.
But when she spoke, she took Catherine by surprise. "Was there anything else, Cath?"
Her hand itched to slap the brunette's face. To do something, anything to stop her speaking in that calm voice. Despite her resolve to keep her temper, she could hear her voice starting to rise.
"What the fuck do you mean: 'is there anything else'?" she mimicked, "you were going to leave without saying a word to anyone. You are so fucking selfish!"
Sara felt the anger begin to rise up in her, and before she could stop it, she was yelling too: "What the hell do you care? You'll have the lab back, that's what you've always wanted! Don't go all emotional on me now- we've barely spoken to each other since you decided I couldn't do my job properly. Since I couldn't find Eddie's killer." suddenly, she stopped. "I'm so sorry Cath…I didn't mean…maybe you should go."
Catherine was horrified by what she had said, but she also caught the sadness in Sara's voice. She couldn't leave her alone now, so she brushed off her harsh words, and tried a different tack: "What were you hoping to achieve with all this?" She asked, waving the letter.
Sara almost replied: 'My freedom', before she realised how corny and practised that sounded. She said instead: "I felt it was time for a change. I got offered a job tonight and I couldn't turn it down…" she looked down at her folded arms, suddenly feeling exhausted, when she raised her eyes to Cath's at last, all pretence was gone: they were pleading and brimming with tears, "I'm tired, Cath. I'm really tired…I'm tired of Vegas, I'm tired of trying to fit in, and I'm tired of pretending…"
She seemed to realized that she had said too much. To cover her embarrassment she sank down onto the sofa. There was silence, and Catherine suddenly didn't feel mad anymore. But Sara wouldn't look at her; she stared fixedly at the floor.
"Are you going to tell Grissom?" she asked in a hollow voice.
The red-head sat down beside her. "No, no. I won't. I promise."
"Thank you." Sara whispered, and quite without warning, the tears began to fall.
Catherine took her hand and sat in silence as her colleague cried herself out. A little later, when Sara's sobs had subsided, Cath felt that she might be up to answering some questions.
"Why now? Why not before?" she asked.
"Because he's shut me out for the last time."
Catherine didn't even pretend not to know who she meant. She was in a delicate position. She had seen for herself Grissom's reaction to Debbie Marlin's body and as her friend, she owed him her loyalty. However, it was clear that Sara was in pain, and that if she didn't get some answers soon she would self-destruct. She settled for something in the middle: "Well, you know how private he is…" she began, and at the look in Sara's eyes she paused. The younger CSI deserved the truth. "He cares about you."
Sara stood up and replied wearily: "I know. He just thinks that I'm not worth the risk."
Catherine was so surprised that she didn't even bother to ask how she had gleaned this insight.
"Now," she continued, "I'd like you to go, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't tell Grissom about my leaving," she walked to the door and opened it, "And I am sorry about Eddie, Cath."
The other woman looked at her with tears in her eyes: "I know you are. And I'm sorry too." She surprised them both by giving the brunette a quick hug, "I'll miss you, Sara." then she walked out the door.
Sara smiled faintly as she shut it after her.
"No you won't." she said into the silence.
AN: I do, in fact, have another chapter written. However, I'm not sure if I should post it, or if I should leave it as is. If anyone would like to see Grissom's reaction to the news, please let me know and I'll update as soon as I can!
