Ghosts chapter 2.
I was with you the whole time you know. Watching. There is not much I can do from here except watch you struggle. I'm so sorry Cloud. I wish I could be there for you, I wish we could have faced everything together. I wish I could have protected and cared for you when you were suffering from the stigma.
There were brief flashes when I could manifest as the wolf, mostly to places or times where you had a strong need for me or felt a strong connection to me. The hill on which I died was one. I remember all the times you would come and visit my grave. Sometimes you would just stand for a few moments and I could feel the grief from you wash over me. Sometimes you would sit, resting your soul for a while and talk to me. Back resting against my sword I could almost reach out and touch you.
It was the times that the stigma took hold and you were driven to your knees or to unconsciousness from the pain that truly broke my heart to see. You didn't ask for the help you needed and it drove me mad. All you had to do was talk to Tifa, talk to anyone. They all would have helped you without thought. You were working so hard to find a cure for Denzil that you spared no thought for yourself. It almost killed you.
You called out for me sometimes in your pain and in your grief. Begging me to return to you sometimes you wept and other times you screamed, furious that I would not come to you. If only I could, I would be by your side in a heart-beat. I would have loved to do nothing more than to take care of you and keep you out safe in my arms.
It was during the fight with Sephiroth that I simply couldn't stay away any longer. Aerith got to see you loads! She got to help you fight and give you strength, I guess she came at the times you needed her and I came at the times you needed me. She got to look at you with her own eyes and what did I get? A stupid mutt...
You were losing. Dying Cloudy, I know how hard it is to see each other. To hear your voice and know that these moments are precious. I wish I had been able to kiss you, hold you like so many times before and tell you how much I love you. However, that was not what you needed. In order to survive you needed me to be your mentor. The SOLDIER and friend you remembered. You needed to be empowered and to be given a belief in yourself. I can give you that, I can give you anything you need. Anything.
You were able to defeat Sephiroth and save the day. It was all you Spikey all I did was make you believe. Let you feel the love we share renewed and let it strengthen you.
I remember the moment clearly. You were pushing yourself so hard, he had hurt you terribly and you were trying so hard to move past the pain and finish the fight. That's when I came to you. I couldn't face you. To do so and not kiss you would be impossible and a make-out session would be wonderful... but it wouldn't help you win the fight plus my time with you was so limited.
"So what if it looks hopeless? If it were me, I still wouldn't give up."
I was ready. Sword in hand. If you needed me to fight with you I would. I would make sure you made it through this whole. I brought it up in front of my face and bowed into it.
"Embrace your dreams. And, whatever happens, protect your honour as SOLDIER!"
That's when I remembered. You hadn't made it that far. Whoops, what a slip! I dropped the act, slumping a little to try and lighten the mood.
"Well, okay, you never made SOLDIER. But its what's in here that counts."
I put my fist over my heart. I felt the steady rhythm and wished harder than ever that I wouldn't be taken from you again. I knew it was hopeless. That my time with you was done... but one can dream. I quickly snapped out of it and continued.
"Zack?" You sounded so disbelieving and so hopeful. It almost broke my heart.
"Well? You need a hand with him?"
I selfishly hoped you would say yes so I would have a reason to stay with you for a while longer. I know you wished for that too but we both understood that this was a battle you had to fight alone. You shook your head, hair flecked with crimson from your wounds. I wanted to turn and help you to your feet, kiss you, whisper in your ear how I loved you but I couldn't, this was not my fight. You managed to get back on your feet. I couldn't stay turned from you any longer. Facing you I had to encourage you now. I had to make you believe.
"You already beat him once, didn't you? This should be a cinch."
You braced yourself. Focusing on the fight ahead. "Yeah."
I turned back. Feeling the tug of the afterlife I had to be quick.
"Cloud. You know what I told you."
I could think of so many things I said to you. How I loved you, how our love was forever, how we would always be together and always fight together. You were remembering in that instant too. I could feel it, but we both knew that was not what I was talking about. We both knew what you needed to win this battle.
"That's right. I am your living legacy." Your voice was determined now. My job was done.
I bowed my head grinning, the light took me from you but I knew you would win against Sephiroth. I knew I had said what you needed me to. I watched you finish him. We welcomed Kadaj, the sad broken puppet into the lifestream. His brothers came too and so did you.
Then you were with us. Suspended with me and Aerith in the between space.
"Mother?," You mumbled.
Aerith laid her hand on your head while I watched over you. I was so happy to see you again so soon but wished for nothing more than for you to live again. You are too young to die, but who am I to say that? You outlived me, but you had so much left to live for! Tifa and the kids, everyone. You had a life waiting for you.
"Again? Why is everyone calling me their mother lately?" Aeith's voice snapped me from my thoughts.
"I guess they must be fond of you." I smiled at Aerith as I replied and she smiled. A knowing look in her eyes.
Studying your face now I noticed how old you were. No longer the young cadet I took under my wing, you were pale and there were dark circles under your eyes. I sighed to myself, you need more sleep spiky!
"This one's a little too big to adopt." Aerith decided.
I held your hand while we spoke to you, finally we could feel your presence fading. This was not the place for you yet.
"Tough luck friend. Sounds like you don't have a place here."
Yes. It was tough luck we had to be separated once again. I knew that was a selfish way to think but I couldn't help it. I kissed your hand as you faded away. I was the wolf again for a moment but not long enough to remember much. Just a brief flash of your scent and the blinding white all around.
Then we watched you from the doorway as you woke and cured Denzil. I watched the shock pass over face when you spotted Aerith and then the desperation when you realised she was walking away from you.
I watched you run to her. Try to touch her and begin to stutter apologies as she cupped his cheek gently. I sighed to myself. Why are you always blaming yourself for everything?
"Cloud," I saw the look of shock pass over your face. Aerith dropped her hand and let you move forward.
"Zack please," your voice broke "Please, stay with me..." your face crumpled. You were begging me. I felt my face fall too. If only I could.
"My time is done, Spiky. I've done my job. I made sure you survived to do this." I gestured at the crowd. I felt the familiar tug and my heart broke to know we would be apart again so soon.
"Ah! My time is up. I've used my quota of visits. This is goodbye for real this time." I turned to leave hoping that it would be easier this way. But I couldn't leave you just standing there. This was our last goodbye until you died. This was it. I turned and kissed you nothing to strong. Just enough to remind you of my love. To let you know my feelings had not and would not ever change.
I pulled back from the kiss and looked into your perfect blue eyes.
"Cloud, I Love..."
There was a sharp tug and we were back in the space.
"...you." I looked around me and realised what had happened. I didn't even get to finish. Finally I allowed weakness in. With Aerith there the one who had comforted me before. Who had embraced me when Angeal died. Who had consoled me once I realised I was dead and what that meant. I crumpled to my knees. I could feel my mentor's presence in the background but right now I needed to let loose my grief from the separation. I cried for a long time into her pink dress. I hated being separated from you!
I knew deep down that it would be fine. That I would watch over you, still feel your presence when you came to visit my grave atop the hillside. I would still hear your voice when you wanted to speak with me, we would meet one day. I only hope that it is when you are old and grey. I also knew that you would be fine! You would live a long and healthy life. You had to. You are after all my living legacy.
A.N: I was watching FFVIIACC a few nights ago and inspiration hit me. I hope you guys enjoyed it. :) Reviews are always appreciated. If you spot any little typos or anything let me know. :)
This one is for Stewart, for always making me believe I can achieve anything. :) Thank you.
