The Wife
Author: Poetrysoulchild / Angie Simone
Fandom: Guiding Light (Otalia)
So this is my first Fanfiction, though I've become extremely addicted to the Fanfiction subculture within these past year. I'm excited to get back to writing and creating this story about one of my favorite couples on TV, Otalia.
Disclaimers: I do not own any of these characters. Though I have taken some lines from the original show, it is only to keep the integrity of some of the scenes and characters. In these cases, I again do not own the material.
*This is my take on events following the wedding had Natalia actually married Frank specifically told in first person via Natalia. Although I vehemently despise Frank's character, I thought it would be interesting to fantasize about the alternate reality had CBS producers and Guiding Light writers not immediately commit to the love story between Natalia and Olivia. In my version, however, Frank doesn't spill the beans (during pre-marriage counseling with Father Ray) about Olivia being the mastermind of all the romantic gestures he pulled for Natalia. He kept that little secret to himself…for now =)
I hope you all enjoy! Side Note: It takes a bit of time before Olivia and Frank show up in the story. I'm taking my time to fill in the gaps of Natalia's life so you get a more in depth perspective of her later choices.
**FINALLY: I know it's been awhile since my last post. Been crazy busy with work. But now since the summer is here a have lots of time to spend writing. Which means weekly updates until further notice.
Also, thanks Jamie for the cool reviews!
Rating: First round is PG-13
The Wife
Angie Simone
Copyright October 30, 2014
"Love takes off the masks we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
~ James Baldwin
Chapter 1.2
When my mother entered, it simply took my breath away. She casually walked in – not realizing that anyone was in the house – while softly talking to herself. It was one of the more endearing things she so often did to remember the endless tasks that needed to get done. In those split seconds she hadn't noticed that I was sharing her space, and for that I was deeply thankful. I sat there panicked and frozen, wondering what the next chapters of my life had in store for me. It didn't take long, however, to find out.
"Oh Mija!" my mother nearly jumped out of her skin upon recognition of my presence. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you in school?" she questioned.
Unsure of my doings, she waited for a response but nothing came in return. The silence grew unbearably loud. I had no answers. Well, at least any answers that I knew wouldn't get me killed. So I just sat. Tears were filling the brims of my eyelids and threatening to fall at any moment.
Within that intense quiet, I could see the array of emotions plague my mother's face. It went from bewilderment, to sadness, to rage and then ultimately disappointment. Her eyes, too, began to fill with tears at the daunting realization of my sins. The sins that had so clearly left its evidence scattered across the bathroom in forms of trash and packaging. She kept silent until she could again form words.
"Natalia, explain." She whispered.
I had nothing left. No more ideas of how to get me out of this predicament. No more fight. No more energy to try and change what seemed to be my destiny. My hopes and dreams were truly quashed from the instant my mother walked through that door. I knew that the decisions of this pregnancy were no longer in my hands. My parents were ultimately going to decide what they thought was best for me. So instead of using words, I just gave her the stick that left me feeling hopeless.
There was a few more lingering moments of silence after mom took the test from me. She had one hand covering her mouth while the other held the results close to her line of vision. Suddenly soft sobs began racking over her body.
"Pregnant, mija?" she softly stated. It was more of a rhetorical question that she used as a precursor to a series of incomplete questions. "When did you…who did…how…Nicky?"
She exhaled an exasperated breath when she saw that I was a useless ball of tears. I could see she was trying so hard to hide the disappointment and hurt, but she was failing miserably. Her eyes were now bright red and the only thing she found herself doing was reaching for the rosaries that she kept hanging on the corner of the bathroom mirror. Every part of her body seemed to be steadily shaking with anxiety. It nearly broke my heart to see my mother in that state, but there really wasn't much I could do to help the situation.
"How could you let this happen?" her tone becoming harsher. "How could you be so stupid!"
Repeated sorries were the only things I could manage to muster up, but to no avail. Mom no longer tried to hide any disappointment or anger. Her words quickly turned into harsh verbal blows as she began belittling my behavior and character. Slut and whore were now her frequent adjectives of choice for her, and still I had nothing to say.
Everything about this situation was catching me off guard. For one, I didn't think I was going to get caught. It was a Tuesday morning and mom was usually out all day gathering the week's groceries and then spending the rest of the day with Tio and Abuelita. I had no idea that she would have been home so early. Besides, my plan to abort this pregnancy was almost in effect. Had my mother come in twenty minutes later, I would have only had to deal with her disappointment about me ditching school. The suggestions of this pregnancy would have been lost in the dumpsters.
Second, I had never seen my mother in such a state. Mom was usually the comforting one out of the parents. Before now, I never really heard her raise her voice even a little to discipline us. With four hardheaded kids, I found that part of her almost admirable. She would always talk her way through any disagreements we may have had with her, or discuss why we shouldn't have done the wrong doings that we had just did. So, as you can imagine, mom not only raising her voice but spewing obscenities my direction was a bit heart wrenching and again something that caught me off guard.
"I taught you better than this! I sacrificed so much for you!" she yelled. "Does Nicky know?"
"Um…" I didn't really want to answer the question. I didn't want him involved quite yet. It would make everything all too real at this point. Also, the last thing I thought I needed was three more opinions about what's going to happen to my body within the next nine months.
"You better answer me, now!" Her voice was now peaking from stern to scary.
"No, ma'am."
"Ay dios mio. God, forgive her for her sins." With the rosaries still in her hand, she began praying on my behalf. "Forgive her, forgive her, forgive her…" she trailed off in light whispers.
Suddenly, everything became calm, a little too calm. Mom was no longer visibly angry. She began picking up all the trash that reminded her of this pregnancy and threw them into a bag that sat near the toilet seat. Her tears began to reign supreme again, and for a short time she just paced back and forth until she stood right before me. I was still on the toilet seat and had yet to move an inch since she arrived. She had the trash and pregnancy test in one-hand and rosary beads in the other. So there she stood, staring me down and for the first time in the past few minutes, I couldn't read her fathomless eyes. I didn't know what was going through her mind, how she felt…if she still loved me. I know, it may sound ridiculous. But seriously, the way she gazed at me emotionless glare, it seemed as though she was actually giving her love for me second thought. Certainly now, having been through a similar experience with Rafe, I know that not to be true. But in that moment, no one could have told me any different.
"I'm sorry, mija." Mom knelt down, facing me as she sat the rosary and trash on the ground before softly pressing her hand onto my face. Within that apology, I believe for the first time, I saw the true beauties that lay within her. She was a woman of true love, especially for her kids and family. Her emotions ran unapologetically fierce through her, a lot like someone else who has recently come into my life…
"For so long, I have tried hard to make sure you didn't or wouldn't go through the same struggles that I went through. I thought if anything, I could have prevented you from enduring life's biggest struggles until you were out on your own. Never would I have imagined…" Not finding the word to best describe what she was trying to convey, she motioned her hands up and down the length of my torso. "…this."
I nodded my head in understanding.
"Lo siento. Please...forgive me mom. I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear. What do I do?" I was clearly begging for a bit of wisdom at this point. Wanting nothing but reassurance from one of the only people I trusted to tell me that everything was going to be ok.
She stood and took my hand helping me off the seat. After retrieving the trash and setting the rosary to its original spot, she told me to follow her into the living room. It was 10:45am and once again, my life felt like it was coming back together. Maybe everything would turn out ok after all.
As we both sat down on the couch, she took me in her arms and cradled me like the baby I once was. She didn't say a word, leaving all her answers within loving touches as she stroked my head. I hadn't realized all the emotions that were built up inside me until the moment mom put her hand on my belly. Instantly, uncontrollable whimpers coursed through my body. At the sight of my cries, mom deepened her hug and tried to kiss away all the fears that I may have had.
TBC: (Again, weekly updates until further notice. Hope you all are enjoying thus far!)
