A/N Sorry it's been awhile. Had a final round of summer camps followed by a heart condition diagnosis, all the while during a terrible bout of writer's block. :( Plus I was working on Ch. 2 for Viva La Vida, and I'll be posting Ch. 3 of that next. Eventually. School starts tomorrow for me, so I won't have as much time to write as I'd like to.

Anyhow, back to the story. I'll be taking you back to 1925 now, with some interruptions from the present day of course. It's been really painstaking yet really fun writing this because of all the 1920s slang I get to throw in with the dialogue. XD Basically I'm trying to make this like a sister story "Totally Odd Squad", while staying true to the era as well as things mentioned in Odd Squad's history. Shenokzo likes it, so I'm sticking with it. Also get to throw in some new OCs, yay! (On that note, I post descriptions of all my OCs on MadlySane's Odd Squad forum, which I mentioned in another story and you all should totally check it out.)

Fine, fine, here's the chapter. :)

Chapter 2

"Thank you for coming, Odd Squad. I didn't know who else to call."

I sized up the secretary. She was a pretty blonde in her early twenties, dressed fashionably enough and with an organized desk space. Unlike mine, I thought with a suppressed smile. But I didn't see anything immediately wrong with her. "What seems to be the problem, ma'am?"

The secretary tapped the keys of her typewriter absent-mindedly with a manicured fingernail. "Well, this morning as I dressed for work, I put on this new hat I had gotten as a present from my sister." She pointed to the lavender cloche hat on her head.

My partner Ogden nodded. "It's very nice," he said stiffly, shy as usual.

"Why, thank you. I believe it to be a bit of a yawner myself, but one must never turn down a present from one's own sister. Anyhow, when I arrived here, I tried to take it off and—well, this happened." As she pulled off her hat, another identical one appeared in its place.

Surprised, I found myself holding the first hat. "My goodness!" I exclaimed.

"And it keeps going, too!" She did the same thing again, and before I knew it I was holding ten more lavender cloche hats, all like the first one. But the secretary still had one perched neatly on her head, as if it had never been taken off.

Ogden thought for a moment. "Not to worry, ma'am. We have a Hat-Removinator with us." Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out what looked like an egg beater with several gears attached and a tiny metal hat on the hand crank. One of Dr. Ozzington's new inventions, I supposed.

I looked longingly at the hats stacked in my arms, then at the one on the woman's head. "Pity," I muttered. "It's a gorgeous hat. Real hoity-toity."

"You really think so?" the secretary gasped.

"Of course!" I told her politely. "It brings out your blue eyes, and it frames your hair nicely. And besides, lavender goes with almost everything."

"And how," Ogden agreed, finally starting to warm up. "Your hat is the cat's meow, really."

The secretary blushed. "Well, now that I think about it...you're right! No need for that little gillgadget of yours, then. Thanks, Odd Squad!"

"The pleasure is ours!" I said, glad another job was done. "Have a swell day, ma'am."

Ducking under her desk, Ogden and I found ourselves getting squooshed into red cube-shaped pods and zooming through the newly built Odd Squad tube system. Even though it had been completed a year ago now, I still couldn't believe that after over fifty years of work, Big Red's big idea had finally paid off. Truth be told, I don't think anyone could believe it. But believe it or not, everyone certainly loved it. Getting around was so much easier now, especially since other Odd Squad chapters around the world had adopted and linked their own tube systems. Still, cubes? It seemed to me that sphere-shaped pods would make more sense, like marbles rolling down a ramp. It would be so much smoother.

But never mind about that. One big invention at a time.

We popped out of the tubes and found ourselves face-to-face with the builder himself at the new control switchboard. "Morning, agents!" Big Red greeted us. "How's tricks?"

Ogden shrugged. "Not bad. Our work is going well," he said. "And you?"

"Everything's the bee's knees with me!" Big Red replied eagerly, as if he'd been hoping they would ask that. "I installed some spanking new levers and gears to the switchboard with a better response time, so I can pop you agents out of the tubes faster. I'm even looking into hiring new tube operators to help me! It's getting to be a big job, trying to hit on all fours by myself..."

I could tell that Ogden looked bored. He'd started inspecting his fingernails for dirt and fiddling with stray pieces of sandy hair that had fallen out of his comb-over. Any minute now he would whip out the pomade, so I quickly intervened. "That's swell, Big Red. But we should let you get back to work. All this beating our gums is distracting you."

Big Red shrugged. "If you say so. Swell to punch the bag with you two, though. Catch you later!"

"You too!" With that done, Ogden and I left the tube lobby and walked right into a construction zone. About ten years ago, Ms. O—or Old Missie, as we liked to call her—finally decided that if Odd Squad was getting a new transportation system, it was only fair that headquarters got an upgrade, too. Since then, we'd been in the process of tearing down, renovating, and expanding—and I mean expanding. It amazed me to see how much was taking shape already: the Science Department had an entire laboratory in place of a bar counter; Old Missie had her own private office in place of a walled-off alcove; the Medical Department, which had its own medical bay before, now boasted more modern and high-tech equipment; we agents had a trophy room to replace the crammed cabinet that had held all our awards and other curios; and there were so many new rooms being added on that had never existed before, like a break room, a game room, a meeting room (in the form of a ball pit, it was rumored), several interrogation rooms, a north control room for radio and audio operations, a warehouse for better storage, and countless other odd rooms in the back hallways. Not to mention the new building actually had two storeys with a grand double staircase, and that was just the main part...

But no matter how amazing it was, it seemed Ogden would never be impressed by the new renovations. "All this noise!" he complained as we picked our way through the scaffolding and building materials to our desks, which (along with all the other desks) were temporarily sheltered from construction by a large canvas tent. "For crying out loud! How should we be expected to get any work done?" He plopped down in his desk chair with a surly groan. "It's baloney, I tell you. Phonus balonus and all that jazz."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. Ogden's antics would have been funny if he weren't being completely serious. Plus he was completely oblivious to the fact that it came off as ridiculous drama. "Maybe you won't have to," I teased. "As the saying goes, let George do it. Or perhaps Old Missie will call us on a case..."

Ogden bolted up from his seat, eyes wide. "Don't—"

"OGDEN AND OLESYA! IN MY OFFICE! NOW! ! !"

"—say it..." he trailed off weakly, too late. "Well, that's Jake. Now I definitely won't get any work done. Just swanky." Sarcasm dripping from his words, Ogden turned on his heel and marched away.

As he stormed off, I caught the questioning eyes of Agents Oprah and O'Donahue, sitting at the desks adjacent to ours. "What's eating him?" O'Donahue asked, nodding in the direction of my partner.

I shrugged. "Oh, you know Ogden. A shy baby grand out in the field, and a surly killjoy in the privacy of HQ."

Oprah raised an eyebrow. "A real Dapper Dan, isn't he?"

"You get used to him," I chuckled. "I can't beef about it, anyhow. He can be a gay old fella when he wants to be. Besides, he brings me jelly beans every day."


"You remember that?" Oprah asks, laughing. "I sure don't."

"Of course I remember," Olesya points out with a wink. "I was about to become Ms. O."

Oprah nods. "Good point. Continue."


I followed Ogden up the stairs and into Old Missie's office, still in the long process of being decorated. Old Missie herself sat behind her desk, daintily fingering a small vinyl record. I stifled a laugh because she seemed so out of place with the record, not to mention everything else of the decade. See, Old Missie got her nickname partly because she was a personal traditionalist who refused to adapt to the times. (That's why it took us agents forever to convince her to renovate HQ.) She hadn't updated her Ms. O uniform since the 1890s, so she still wore a navy high-collar button-up pleated-skirt wool dress, and even her copper brown hair was still long and braided into an elegant bun, partly hidden by the purple-trimmed navy hat on her head. Meanwhile, the rest of us agents had traded in our turn-of-the-century uniforms for the more casual (and cuter!) navy and white sailor suits with red ties in the front, and we girls had cropped our hair short with everyone else. Come on, it was the 1920s, we were supposed to have fun and be free. But Old Missie didn't see it that way. To her, work was work, and as she was head of Odd Squad and made up the entire Management Department, she had to dress the part. No matter if the rest of us thought she looked old-fashioned. Hence, we called her the Old-Fashioned Ms. O, or just Old Missie for short.

"There you two are," Old Missie addressed us, setting down the record. "Something very odd has happened."

"What's the problem, Missie?" Ogden asked, any former irritation absent from his voice.

Old Missie shuffled some papers and fished around her desk until she found a black-and-white Brownie photograph. "This is a photo of the four-foot-long Charleston Chew at the museum," she explained, holding it up for us to see. "Except this morning..." she held up another photograph "...someone stole it!"

Ogden and I gasped. In the first photograph, the gigantic chocolate-covered nougat sat proudly on its display pedestal. But in the second photograph, the candy bar was missing!

"Luckily," Old Missie went on, "we have a clue." She set down the photographs and handed us the record she'd been fingering. "This was found at the scene of the crime. It might contain important information."

I nodded. "We'll investigate right away, Missie." Without further ado, Ogden and I hurried out of the office before Old Missie could yell at us to go chase ourselves. We ducked into one of the finished interrogation rooms where the Odd Squad phonograph was being stored until the north control room's completion. Carefully I set the record on the turntable and moved the needle over it. Ogden and I sat down next to it and listened.

At first there was only a fuzzy static noise, but then we heard a strangely distorted noise that sounded like laughter, followed by a high-pitched squeaky voice. "Ha ha! By now you've realized that your precious candy bar has been stolen."

I exchanged glances with Ogden. We'd both recognize that voice anywhere. "Jeepers creepers, it's the Patternista!" I exclaimed.

"One of the worst villains known to Odd Squad," Ogden added with a gulp. He looked like he was going to say something else, but then the voice started talking again.

"But never fear," she went on. "The Patternista will tell you exactly where to go looking for it. Simply figure out the next sound I will make, but listen closely!" What followed was a jumble of random noises that had Ogden and I staring at each other in confusion, but I managed to catch what sounded like a bird chirp, a foghorn, and squealing tires. Then she finished with, "But you'd better hurry before all the chocolate melts. Ta-ta!" and the record stopped.

Ogden let out a low whistle. "Well, that was wiggedy-whacked."

"Tell me about it," I agreed as I took the needle off and carefully removed the record. "But remember, this is the Patternista. Whatever that balled-up hooey was, it has to be important."

"Of course." Ogden stood up and fingered his badge. "Time to visit the Mathroom, then?"

"Now you're on the trolley!" I grinned as I gripped my badge in turn and twisted it. Ogden did the same, and off we went in a swirl of paper and red light.