Unfortunately Yours
Cryogenics
Whenever Jack personally called her to pay him a visit in his office, Liz knew that it usually involved something big, bizarre, or both. Once Jack divulged what was really up, Liz's initial responses to these visits were always one of the following: "What is all this?," "This isn't what I think it is, is it?," or "Jack, are you crazy?" The last response was naturally, her most frequent response.
Today, she found herself pleasantly baffled rather than unpleasantly surprised when she saw what appeared to be three different colored space teleportation devices in the office. "Uh Jack, what is all this? This isn't what I think it is, is it?" God, she really needed to be less predictable with her responses.
"What do you think this is Lemon?"
"Props from Star Trek?" Jack Donaghy, a Star Trek fan? Liz wished that she had her Star Wars fan club pin on her, but then again Trekkies were generally scary and this could get ugly.
"No, these are actually real and functioning cryogenic freezing tanks, recommended by Dr. Spaceman. I had my three top picks shipped here, and I need you to help me pick one out."
"Jack, I don't know the first thing about cryogenics. All I know about cryogenics is that it involves freezing people and that you're having your body frozen after you die." (When Liz mentioned die, Jack corrected her with a "When I'm temporarily indisposed.") Liz, however remained curious about the devices (because honestly, when else was she ever going to see a cryogenics machine up close) and edged up to the tank nearest to her. "Don't worry, Lemon, I don't think there're any bodies in any of these although Jonathan was supposed to inspect these this morning, and I haven't seen him around since…"
"Wait, so Dr. Spaceman does cryogenics too?"
"Yea, Leo's one of the top cryogenic experts out there. Do you want me to hook you up with a special discount?"
"Uh…no thanks. Is there anything that Dr. Spaceman doesn't do? I mean don't you ever wonder about his credentials?"
"Don't be ridiculous Lemon. Leo doesn't do that much. Along with being a cryogenics expert, he's just an ER surgeon, a plastic surgeon, dermatologist, sex therapist, general practitioner, and licensed foot massager."
"Oh I see…but what's with the different tanks?"
"I need help picking the color. Since I'll be frozen in the tank for several years, I want to be sure that my 'funeral' outfit will match." Jack nonchalantly said this as if he was merely testing out a punch line for Liz to evaluate.
"You have a funeral outfit?"
"Do you think I'd trust any of the Donaghys to dress my body? You don't yours yours picked out yet? You should pick one out soon-it takes far more time than you'd expect it would."
Despite how erratic the whole situation was, suddenly, Liz didn't like the direction this conversation was heading. "Wait Jack, what's with all of these funeral plans? You're not sick or anything are you?"
When Jack paused and looked slightly grave, she realized that she really didn't like where this conversation was headed. "Lemon, last month I had a heart attack and my life flashed before me. I've been getting mail from the AARP for two years…as much as I want to fight this disease of aging, I just want to be prepared for anything and everything."
It's an impulsive move that surprised the both of them but Liz (as she suddenly remembered a few, deceased older friends who had all consequently passed away around Jack's age) had no regrets when she suddenly wrapped her arms around Jack in a tight hug and rather vehemently said, "Jack Donaghy, you're never allowed to die."
"All right, Liz, I won't." Jack uttered as he hugged her back.
AN: Thanks for reading and if you've read, please do review! I appreciate feedback (flames, criticism, comments,etc) of any sort.
