I didn't think I would do another one of these but a couple of people asked for it and I was feeling inspired to write another one for some reason so here it is. A/n from 1/11/08: I changed this up a bit. I pretty much just added to the list. I really do have to re-write chapter 1. Its pretty sucky compared to this. I got the descriptions idea from Fangurly.
''Oh my gosh, Max!" Nudge started almost like she was preparing me for the Nudge channel to flip on, "Why isn't he waking up! I mean he's been asleep forever! Is he still breathing? I saw this show on discovery channel once where this girl she stopped breathing or something and they thought she was dead but she wasn't really dead and they almost buried her but she woke up just in time! Is that what's happening to Iggy? Don't bury him Max! Being buried alive must be soooooooo scary! That's like in that Kill Bill movie when the main character lady got buried and she had to punch through the box and stuff! Do you think Iggy could punch through a box? That would be super cool if he could. I'm sure he can 'cause he can do so many other amazing things! I mean he can cook, and build bombs, and, hey Max is sarcasm a skill or something cause if it is Iggy has it! I mean he's so amazing, and smart, and cu-" I heard Nudge cut off quickly. Was she just about to admit Iggy was cute? I didn't linger on it much longer. I had bigger problems to take care of.
Once again one of my flock was in a strange bird kid like form of sleep that was as close to comatose as you can get without actually being in a coma. I shuddered, thinking about the last time this had happened with Fang. A certain blind mutant bird boy had made some severely scarring comments and, come to think of it, was in for a bit of payback.
"Hey Fang!" I called from Iggy's bedside, "It looks like we got a comatose patient who needs to be woken up." As soon as I finished Fang was right next to me with a pretty creepy glint in his eyes. The kids followed suit all grinning equally creepy grins thinking up ways to toutur- I mean "wake up" Iggy. This was going to be fun. This was the agenda we came up with:
10. Dump a huge bucket of ice on him.
Angel and Nudge took that big ice bucket thing that they put in most hotel rooms and ran down the hall to fill it with ice. Once they got back we dumped the ice on top of him and shoved it in his clothes. Nothing. He didn't even flinch. Well, I guess we've been through worse than just the cold.
9. Have Angel and Nudge sing to him in frequencies so high they could only be heard by Iggy and certain breeds of dog.
Angel and Nudge now prepared to sing a really strange completely high pitched song that Fang, Gazzy and I aren't even supposed to be able to hear. Okayyyyyyy. I didn't think they were doing anything until I saw I ggy flinch momentarily and heard Total actually whimper in the corner. Wow.
8. Continually scream, "DOG PILE ON IGGY!" and have the kids use him as a freakin' trampoline or something.
This was a fun one for the kids. Iggy's body bent in ways I didn't think were avian-humanly possible. He did indeed look like a freakin' trampoline or something.
7. Dress Iggy up as a whitecoat.
This one was a challange. Thank goodness for the doctor staying three floors above us, and lock picking mutant bird kids.
6. Play a rousing game of beat up the whitecoat.
We all need a little practice right? Don't want to get rusty.
5. Let Angel and Nudge give Iggy a "makeover" including make-up and a new dress
This was my personal favorite. The girls got this really trashy dress and make up from god knows where and dressed Iggy up. He had dark purple eye shadow, black eyeliner, dark red lipstick, fish net tights, black boots, and a red dress that was so short it could barley constitute as a mini-skirt, let alone a dress. It was hi-lar-i-ous!
4. Take pictures.
Can I get some awesome blackmail with this revenge please?
3. Post them on the blog
Ah. Good ol' blog. The Iggy fangirls either hated us or fainted.
2. Get a couple of sticks and make Iggy into a mutant bird boy piƱata.
By now I was getting severely worried. But, one more beating couldn't hurt. Right?
Wow. Iggy sure can take a beating. He's not even awake yet! I was sure he'd wake up after number eight, but I guess not. I'm beginning to think he's dead. Fang said to reserve the number one spot for his plan which, by the way, we know nothing about. If whatever it is Fang is about to do doesn't work I'm taking Ig to a hospital. We all turned expectantly to Fang waiting for him to start. He smirked and spared a quick glance at Nudge, which had me suspicious.
"No Nudge!" Fang started with authority and a hint of disappointment, "Taking Iggy into the closet and making out with him for hours on end is not going to help anything!" After he said that five things happened simultaneously: Gazzy, Angel, and I cracked the heck up. Nudge turned beet red. Iggy jumped five feet into the air. Nudge got redder. And, Fang started smiling. Revenge is way too sweet.
