Chapter 2: Hurt and Comfort

Note: Adam's POV // Italics – present; Normal - past

I didn't notice that my eyes are already wet as I reminisce the first time we became officially on. Why I mustn't? Memories can really cheer you up, but it can also hurt your feelings—past is past, nothing can bring back the past again. I grab a handkerchief inside my closet—this one looks familiar. Oh. This is the handkerchief Kris gave to me when I'm crying one time… it's still here, folded smoothly, and still also smells like him...

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"Hey Adam, are you crying?" Kris asked while sitting beside me, on the edge of my bed—I mean our bed. I shook my head and smile at him. He pouts, he's not convinced—I can't blame him, coz I'm really crying. I'm obviously crying and it's really bad. "C'mon Adam, what's the problem?" I shook my head again quickly, not noticing that as I shook my head faster, my tears run out of my eyes rapidly. Kris then put me in a hug, rubbing his hand on my back gently while soothing me. I really feel good being hugged by Kris—in spite of everything, Kris is still here beside me, comforting me and likes. When my crying slows down, Kris releases me softly and asked me again what the problem is and why I'm crying—of course I will tell him. I don't want his effort of comforting me be wasted.

"Drake left a message on my phone about an hour ago" I said, facing downwards—it doesn't feel good to talk to Kris after crying hard. I feel that I look pretty bad, thanks to the eyeliner.

"…and? What did he said?" He asked understandingly, not showing any signs of annoyance because I just said my ex's name to him, which is really inspiring. No wonder why I love him.

"He's…" Before I even continue the sentence, I started crying again. Kris put me in a hug, again, but this time, his hug is more passionate. It's tighter and… really, the feeling is hard to say in words… "He already moved on and told me that… he's already dating someone and he's happy with him… and… I… I still have this little bit of feelings for him… it's really heartbreaking…" I mumble, though I'm not quite sure Kris even understand what I just said coz my voice is all shaky and eccentric.

"C'mon, it's okay…" He released me and stares at me, looking courageous and… lovely… "You'll move on, too. You will. I'm here to help you." And he smiles. I can't help but smile a little back. He surely knows how to cheer up people in trouble. He suddenly grabs a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes the eyeliner tracks tenderly from my face. The white handkerchief of his then turned into a grey-to-black one—well, not completely, but it's like that. "Wow, you surely put a lot of eyeliner on your eyes, huh?" Kris said, jokingly, of course, while looking at his newly-colored handkerchief with a mixture of disgust and amusement. I chuckle. I can't help it, I'm really grateful he's there for me.

"I'm… I'm sorry about that. I can clean that for you."

"No, don't worry. It's fine. I can do it…" I feel that Kris' going to tell more but instead he just glanced at the handkerchief and back to me. "Look, I will clean it for you, and then you can have it" I throw him a very surprise look. Did he just say that he will clean the handkerchief—and I can have it? Did he just say that? My God, is it sweet? But I still can't reply. The astonishment makes me mute for a while. I'm so happy. I want to cry, again, but now because of happiness. Kris gave me this questionable look and asked, "Are you not going to say something?"

"I…" I still can't release a sentence. Is Kris really willing to give his handkerchief to me?

"C'mon, I can still buy more handkerchiefs someday. You can have it." But I still can't say something! He's just too good to be true. After Drake, I didn't expect someone to make me feel this way. "Adam, please say something. I know, based on your face, that you're worried about my handkerchief. But don't worry, it's okay… it's all okay—"

"Are you really serious?" I finally breathed out. But instead of replying orally, Kris just kissed me. And when he pulls away, he was like "Do I look like I'm not serious?"

"Of course not!" I blurted out. And I kissed him again.

After all, that handkerchief is Kris' and since the day we become on, that handkerchief is the first thing he ever gave to me—well, of course except for the kisses and hugs… and the love.

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But now, he's not here to wipe my tears, he's not here to tell me he'll clean his handkerchief for me, he's not here to comfort me… he's not here… he's… not… here… with me…