Next chapter. This might not be very good. Carlisle is a difficult character to write. :o


Wednesday, June 7th 1911

Wednesday morning was dark and cloudy, which suited Dr. Carlisle Cullen more than well. He had hunted during the night and since he wasn't thirsty anymore it was ok to go back to hospital. Yesterday made him feel confused. He hadn't desired any human blood in years but yesterday he had, the young girl's blood had smelled so nice. So appealing. If he was anyone else he probably would have given up to his thirst. Not for the first time he was glad for the self-control and compassion he had mastered during the centuries.

When Carlisle walked into the room Esme was in, he found the girl reading a book. Her caramel hair was messy but still pretty. She was so concentrated on her book she didn't even notice his arrival.

"Morning", Carlisle said, making her jump, "sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay." Esme answered brightly and put her book away.

She was happier and he couldn't see the pain in her dark eyes anymore. It was like she was shining.

"How are you feeling today?" He asked as he examined her leg.

"Better", Esme said honestly, "leg doesn't hurt anymore and I can't wait to get on my feet!"

Carlisle chuckled at her excitement. She probably could start walking small distances today but he didn't want to take any chances with her. The doctor noticed the flowers on her nightstand. Esme seemed to notice what he was looking at when she said, rolling her eyes: "My parents brought them today. They both had to go to work. As usual."

Her words could have sounded bitter from anyone else but from her they didn't. It sounded like they left her alone a lot. He hid his frown and forced himself to smile: "They're beautiful."

Esme smiled and Carlisle continued: "And then about your leg. I wouldn't let you walk on it just yet but if you want we can go outside if it's not raining."

"I would love to, ." Esme said, looking even brighter than earlier, if it was possible.

Carlisle squeezed her arm and told her he would check his other patients and then they could go. Esme nodded and picked up her book again. Carlisle walked from bed to bed, checking the patients who were his and also those who weren't. He could hear the pages of Esme's book turn but he could feel her admiring stare. Usually the admiring glances bothered him and made him feel uncomfortable but not hers.

An old lady, Mrs. Preston, smiled at him gently when he walked to her. Carlisle found himself smiling back. This old woman always made him smile. He already knew how their conversation would go on.

"Good morning, Mrs. Preston", Carlisle said politely, "how are you doing this morning?"

"I'm as good as new." Mrs. Preston said, "you, on the other hand, look pale, young man. Have you been sleeping well? You're always in here. Have you gotten any rest?"

Carlisle thought for a moment how to answer. There was so many things wrong in her words that he wanted to chuckle. Despite his looks, after living nearly three hundred years he was hardly a young man. After a moment he decided to go with something that was at least nearly the truth. He smiled at Mrs. Preston: "I've rested as much as possible in my life."

Mrs. Preston seemed to accept it but she pushed: "You still need to take better care of yourself. You need to get married, Dr. Cullen. A woman in your life might be able to keep you away from the hospital."

Carlisle sighed inaudibly. He and Mrs. Preston had talked about this already. Nearly five times during the two weeks she had been in the hospital.

"I'm sorry", she apologized, "I know I promised not to start again." She paused and then continued, as he knew she would, "but I saw the smiles you changed with this new girl. She seems to be a very nice girl and you seem to take a really good care of her. You take good care of everyone. But there is something different about her."

Carlisle had to smile at that. Mrs. Preston had been analyzing his every single smile after she had been brought to hospital. During the two weeks she had decided that two girls were different, just like she had described Esme. She had also decided that there had been four girls who would have been great companion to him. She had even asked one if she was married. That girl had been married. Thankfully.

"And about my patients Mrs. Preston", Carlisle said, trying to end her marriage counseling, "you can go home as soon as your husband comes to get you."

Mrs. Preston looked at him like she knew he was trying to change the subject. For his luck she decided to let it go for now. Carlisle signed few papers but his sharp eyes could see how Mrs. Preston kept shooting glances towards Esme. Carlisle shook his head but the movement was too small for anyone else to notice. After she realised that her help wasn't needed she let out a suffering sigh: "One day you will realise that you should have listened to me."

"Till that day", Carlisle said politely, "take good care of yourself, Mrs. Preston."

He shook hands with the old lady and as he walked away from her he could hear her muttering about young fools who didn't take care of themselves and didn't see love when it was in front of their eyes. Carlisle smiled. Mrs. Preston saw love in front of her all the time. Carlisle finished his check-up round and walked back to Esme. The caramel-haired girl put her book away again and looked excited.

"Are you ready to go out?" Carlisle asked.

Esme nodded: "More than ready."

Carlisle nodded and looked out of the window. The sky was cloudy and he was sure there wouldn't be sunshine today. During the centuries he had learnt to read the weather. It would be safe for him to go outside with her. He had helped her to the wheelchair and had volunteered to push her, but she had wanted to try herself. She had learned to control the wheelchair quite easily but he still walked close by, just in case something happened.

They stopped when they reached a bench. He sat down while he wheeled closer to him. He studied her as she closed her eyes and leaned back. There weren't any traces of pain on her face. He was sure she would tell him if she needed something. Or at least he hoped so. Sometimes Carlisle didn't understand the human need to lie about their wellbeing. Too many people told him they were fine when they clearly weren't. At first he had thought it had been him but then he had learned that every doctor had the same problems. They were there to help but how could they help if they were being lied to. Thankfully, as a vampire, he had better instincts and he could easily tell when someone lied to him. Also he could easily see if someone was in pain after telling otherwise.

Esme's soft voice pulled him from his thoughts: "Everything okay, Dr. Cullen?"

Carlisle looked at her and found himself asking: "Are you in pain?"

Esme frowned: "No. There is this ache but no pain. Why? Do I look like I'm in pain?"

"No, you look very healthy today." Carlisle said smiling, making her blush.

"You are thinking would I tell you if I was in pain." Esme said. Not a question but a statement.

He looked up: "Would you?"

"Yes", Esme said soon, "I would tell you but probably not to any other doctor. Usually doctors are over stressed and sometimes even snappy. It makes me not wanting to add their burden with my own problems. You see enough death and sadness in your work. Sometimes it doesn't feel fair to complain about small things."

"Even if it was important to complain about small things?" Carlisle asked, after listening to her explanation.

Esme shrugged and then smiled: "That's how my mind works. That's why I do that sometimes. I don't want to be a burden to anyone."

Carlisle looked at the girl. Her dark eyes were filled with happiness and honesty. And life. Something that no one could see in his eyes but usually their eyes betrayed them. He felt happy sometimes but mostly he felt lonely and sad. He was often worried about the people around him. He knew he was probably the best educated doctor in America, but he still worried if he was good enough. He wanted people to trust him, even when he knew that they shouldn't. He wanted to be able to help these people. It made him feel better about the curse that would follow him for all eternity.

But when he thought about it now, Esme had said she would tell him if something was wrong with her so he must be doing something right.


Thursday, June 8th 1911 is coming up soon!