A/N-thanks to everyone who reviewed! And to those who are reading my other fic, I have recently updated! So go check out the new chapter! I'm sorry about the uber long paragraph in the last chapter! Won't happen again! A special shout-out to my favorite authors/reviewers ToMmYandJuDe-ISlover and LovesMeSomeJoomy! This one's for you! Anyways, I don't own anything associated with Instant Star, even though I desperately want Tommy/Tim:

Chapter 2: Even More Pain (The Kind I Can't Control)

Jude awoke the next morning feeling distraught. She slowly got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She turned on the water to splash some water on her face. Suddenly, she looked over to the waist basket, something bright red catching her eye. Flashes of the night before flashed in her head, Tommy breaking her heart, her coming home, the razor, and then her…cutting herself. It felt odd to say that she "cut" herself. She decided to refer it to as "controlling her pain" or "retreating to an odd comfort". She went back to her room, got dressed, and went downstairs. She had made sure to wear a long-sleeved shirt so no one noticed. There was complete silence awaiting her downstairs. She saw a piece of paper on the counter. It was a note from Sadie.

Dear Jude,

Decided to head to school early. Tommy will come and pick you up around nine or so. BE READY! We will talk about things later, okay? See you at home. Oh, and Dad had to go into work early. Won't be back till around dinner time. Talk to ya later!

Love,

Sadie

Jude read the note, an automatic frown crossing her features. Tommy was coming to pick her up? Alone? This won't end well. Just then, the Pop tarts Jude had put in the toaster popped up. She grabbed the very hot pastries and placed them on a plate. Just as soon as she finished the second one, Jude heard a familiar horn honking for her. 'Oh, God. This will most definitely not end well,; she silently thought as she made her way out of the door, grabbing, her back pack and guitar case. She made her way to his viper, trying to act as cool as possible. "Good morning, Jude." He was so unbelievably tentative. If she ever got over this, she'd have to hold this to him someday. "Hi, Tommy." That was simple, but not completely hostile. 'Yeah,' she thought, 'I can do this. No problem.'

"So, you ready to go?"

"Yeah." She put her stuff in the back before sliding into the passenger seat. He had the keys in the ignition, but he wasn't getting ready to drive. "Uh, you gonna drive, or you gonna use your telepathy to get us to the studio?"

'Sarcasm has always been her strong point.'

"Well, we've got some time before we have to be at the studio. I was thinking that we could talk."

'Oh God. Please don't let him want to talk about last night. Please, anything but that.' But sure enough, that's what he wanted to talk about.

"Look, about last night..." he trailed off, trying to find the right words. "Let me just stop you right there. I believe you said enough last night. Let's not relive it, okay?"

"But there's something else I needed to say."

"And that would be?"

"I never meant to hurt you, Jude. Never. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do to you last night."

"Well, you did Tommy. You hurt me a lot."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I know that saying sorry won't make up for it, but I just want to know that I am. I just hope you can understand my reasoning." He looked at her, his eyes giant blue orbs of sincerity. What was it about his eyes? If you couldn't read him, you could read those eyes. 'Damn, he's making it really hard for me to be mad at him. Damn those blue eyes of his!' She looked over at him, some of the anger and pain already etching away. "Look, let's just go to the studio, and maybe this will work itself out."

"Yeah, okay." He started the car back up again, and he silently pulled away from her house. The entire ride to G-Major was silent, neither of them speaking. They were both absorbed in their own thoughts. They pulled up to G-Major. The receptionist glanced at them a quick second before turning to her work. They were greeted by Georgia and EJ. "Jude! Good that you're here! We need to talk to you."

"EJ, chill with the news, alright. Nice to see you, Jude. How are you holding up?"

"Okay, I guess. Still healing, but I'm better."

"That's great because I've got some news for you. You were asked to perform 'Your Eyes' on Under the Mic on Sunday!"

"Really? Are you serious! That's fantastic!" Jude couldn't help but embrace Georgia. "Okay, so we're going to need you to get straight to work. You and Tommy will go right into the studio."

'Great, more Tommy Time. Is everyone completely oblivious to the fact that I hate Tommy right now? Okay, I don't hate him, but I'm pretty pissed at him. This day just keeps getting better and better.' Tommy noticed the disappointment on Jude's face when Georgia said they'd be working together. It hurt him, but he didn't show it. Jude and Tommy made their way to the studio to get to work. They had been working fifteen minutes before Tommy spoke. "Jude, do you feel this right now? This is going to tear the roof off on Sunday!"

"It's okay, but why exactly would I want to do this song? I mean, it's about the guy that broke the guy in the first place. And it's not exactly screaming evil nasties at him."

"Well, you got something better to perform?"

"No, not yet, but I will. I just need a few hours to write. I'll have something by Sunday.

"Okay, you wanna get started?"

"I think it would be best if I did this at home. It's a much more positive environment." She couldn't help but take a jab at him. And she didn't care that she had hurt him. Well, okay maybe she cared a little, but still. He deserved some pain of his own.

So you just gonna go home?"

"Well, why should I stick around here?"

"What about Georgia?"

"What about her? She'll understand that I can't be here right now."

"Fine. Let me at least drive you home."

"Whatever." She quickly grabbed her stuff and headed out the parking lot without so much as a goodbye to anyone. Tommy followed after a few minutes later. "I told Georgia that you needed to be at home for right now. She said it was okay."

"Okay…thanks."

"You're welcome." They drove off to Jude's house, once again in silence. They pulled up to Jude's house. She turned around to Tommy. "Thanks for the ride. I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah, see ya later." She got out quickly, grabbing her things from the back. Tommy waited until she was in the house before deciding to leave. Jude unlocked the door, and walked into the doorway before she saw something completely horrifying: her dad was on the couch making out with some woman that wasn't his wife. Jude stood there shocked, dumbfounded at what she saw before her. She regained enough of her senses to turn around and bolt out of the door. Tommy was about to pull away when he saw Jude running towards the car. She slung open the door, yelling orders at him. "Drive! GO NOW!"

"Okay, Jude, I'm going, I'm going." He pulled away just as Stuart was coming to the door to see Jude's keys dangling in the keyhole. Tommy was driving, but having no idea where he was going for about three minutes. Jude was sitting beside him, trying to stifle her sobs, but failing miserably. He pulled over to the side of the road where there were cars driving. He turned his car off and looked at her. "Jude, what's wrong? What happened?"

"Nothing, just please drive."

"No, Jude. Something happened, and now you're not okay. Just tell me what's wrong." She turned to look at him. Her face was completely soaked from her tears. His words weren't demanding, or at least not too demanding. His eyes were once again masked over with sincerity. She decided to tell him, only because she was weak and he was so caring." I caught…I saw…Dad he was…with..."

"Jude, come on, talk to me. What did you see?"

"My dad was…he was…with another woman! They were on the couch…" She couldn't finish. Her sobs took over her as she broke down. Tommy scooted closer to her, grabbed her, and wrapped her in a tender hug. He whispered the occasional words of comfort, but mostly just letting her cry out her pain. After about half an hour of crying, she finally pulled away from Tommy's chest. Some of her red hair was matted to her face from where she had been crying. He gently pulled the hair away and whipped her face, letting his fingers linger along her face. She looked up at him. She was filled with so much confusion. 'Why is he being so nice to me? Acting as if he cared about me? He doesn't, does he? If he did, would he have taken the kiss back, but still, he had shown her nothing but kindness since it happened. She was so confused, her head started to hurt a little. "Um, thanks for um, you know, I guess."

"No problem. I'm always here if you need me."

"I know, but please don't tell anyone about this?"

"Sure, no problem. My lips are sealed."

"Thanks, again. Let's get back to the studio. Suddenly it seems my house isn't such a great place for the positive environment I was looking for." He couldn't help but smile at that. 'Even in the face of an upset, she still knows how to joke.' They drove off to G-Major. Jude went to the bathroom, telling Tommy she'd be in the studio in a moment. She walked in, and made sure no one was in there before pulling her bag up to the sink. She pulled out her razor she had placed in there earlier. She placed the razor about three inches from the last cut, and slid it across her skin. The familiar sight of bubbling blood and the feel of pain caused her to continue until she had another inch and a half cut across her arm. She quickly applied a paper towel to it with a lot of pressure. She waited a moment before she pulled the paper towel away. She saw another cut, similar to the one last night. A wave of relief and comfort wash over her as she threw the paper away. She rinsed off the razor before placing it deep inside her. She took one last glance at herself in the mirror. She saw the same glassy look she saw last night. A small smile spread across her face before she unlocked the door and headed toward the studio.