AN: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and support of my story. I am thrilled you all seem to enjoy reading it as much as I love writing it for you. I am anxious for your reviews on this chapter.


Chapter Two

Finding Balance

I am finally in my car traveling to work. I have been trying to leave this place for the past two hours. I actually felt trapped by my own body; how weird is that. I can't remember ever wanting to be away from Jax so desperately. I wonder if my body forced me to endure the agony of confronting Jax, for my own good. Is it possible for my physical self to think for me? Now, I know I have really lost my mind. Although, I do feel more certain of what I need, and want, for my life. I guess that is a step in the right direction. I am glad Jax gave me a burner cell phone for us to use while he is in Belfast. Our phone calls will be untraceable. And I will know when he does finally find Abel. What Jax doesn't know can wait until Abel is safe in his arms. At least he knows I am pregnant. I never would have known about Ima if I kept our baby a secret. Perhaps my little bump is the force motivating me to be responsible...motivating me to do what is best for us. I know the path I am choosing is hard. But, I also know it is the only path I want. The hardest part for me is knowing I have to give up Abel. I never could, or want to separate Jax from Abel. I will always love Abel and I know I will see him often. I am feeling excited, for the first time in months, to begin my new life.

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Tara is now living in Merced, a little town, sixty miles from Charming. Merced is located away from the main highways. County and back roads are the only access to the town. Margret Murphy secured a job for Tara, at the clinic affiliated with St. Thomas. Margaret is from this area and she helped Tara find the perfect home, for now. Tara's feelings for Margaret as a cherished friend have grown. Margaret has become more like the mother Tara never had and always wanted. The clinic is perfect for Tara too. Stable hours with a good salary, work well, for a pregnant doctor. Unfortunately, everyone around her wants to know where the baby's father is. She has to tell them something, but she is still trying to figure it out for herself.

At first, Tara thought all the questions about the baby's daddy were just folks being nosy and gossipy, until one of her colleagues met with her for lunch. He explained how thrilled and surprised everyone feels about her work. They all know she is the finest doctor they have ever seen. Clearly, Tara's exceptional talents as a doctor would be in high demand anywhere.

People ask about the father out of concern and nothing more. He also assured Tara that this is a good town with fine people who care about each other. They also respect each others' privacy.

Everyone around her is supportive, kind, and generous. She has received so many welcome to Merced gifts...she never knew people did that. She has hired a house-keeper and a grounds keeper. They are a husband and wife team who work for one hundred dollars a week. Nan and Jeb are the best workers in town. Since Tara is the only female doctor, she merits special attention. That is why Nan and Jeb were asked to help her out, and why they readily agreed. Dr. Tara Grace is the name Margaret suggested for her to use. Knowles was still her legal name. Margaret felt Dr. Tara Grace helps to protect her identity and Tara agreed. The clinic has two other doctors. Each of them is a family man with a loving wife and tons of children. Tara has found a new balance in her life that feels safe, secure, and reliable.

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Three Weeks Later

Jax calls Tara with exciting news. "Tara, babe, I have Abel in my arms." Thank God, Jax. Is he okay? Did a doctor check him?" "Yes, of course babe. Our son is perfect. I will call you as soon as we get home."

I am really happy Abel is okay. I am also a little disappointed. I thought Jax might ask how we were...me and my bump. It's all good. This helps me to know I have made the right choice.

The SONS with Gemma arrive at TM. Everyone left behind welcomes them back home joyously. The prospects even built a play area with a swing set for Abel. Jax thanks them all. His brothers are always there to support each other. Gemma takes Abel into the clubhouse. Lyla and Opie are playing with Abel while Gemma checks on Jax. "Jackson, what's going on with you?" Jax looks at his mom strangely."Nothing mom. Why?" "I don't know Jax, you just seem to be distracted." "It's all good, mom. I gotta go."

I know everything is not all good with me and Tara. I have a horrible feeling I will be facing some very hard conversations soon. I just know I have to fix us before we go to jail.

Shit, what the hell is Wendy doing here and where the hell is Tara? "Hi, Jax, did you have a good trip back?" Jax has no time for this Wendy bullshit. "What the hell are you doing here Wendy?" Wendy is shocked that he would question her with such disregard. "I came to see Abel, of course. Remember, he is my son." Now, Jax is ready to explode. "Since when are you so interested in seeing Abel? As I recall, you gave up all of your parental rights after you almost killed him." "I know, Jax. But I have completed the drug rehab program. I have been sober for six months. My drug problem is behind me now. I just want to get to know my son." This can't be happening to me now. I have no idea or patience for how to handle this mind-fuck with Wendy. "Jax, I thought you would be thrilled to see me." This just keeps going from bad to worse with this junky from hell. "Wendy, why in the hell would you think I would be happy to see you?" Wendy looks at Jax as if he is clueless. Wendy thinks, Jax may be clueless. "Jax, don't you know that Tara called me?" "What, what the hell are you talking about Wendy?" "Tara called and told me that I may want to be available for Abel, just in case you need me." "When did she call you?" "I'm not sure, Jax. I know it was a few weeks ago. She did say she had just moved out of Charming."

I feel like I have just been shot in the chest. Before I call Tara again I think I better check in with my brothers who promised to watch and protect Tara.

As I walk into the clubhouse, I see Tig and Piney talking quietly to each other. "Excuse me...would you two knuckleheads care to explain what the fuck happened to Tara?" Both Piney and Tig look like I just shot them in the head, which is exactly what I feel like doing. "Jax, Tara is fine. We saved her from being kidnapped." "Tig what the fuck are you talking about?" Tig continues, "About a week after you all left to find Abel. David Hale told us that Salazar was looking for Jax Teller's old lady. Piney and I knew he was out for retaliation and he would hurt Tara. We actually worked with David to keep eyes on Tara. One day, Tara left , with that lady...you know her boss." Piney interrupts snidely, "Be quiet Tig let me tell it. Jax, Tara was in Margaret Murphy's car when Salazar bumped the car from behind and drew a gun on Tara and Margaret. Salazar's old lady had a gun on them too. Hale gave us a quick heads up. Salazar and his old lady have been convicted of attempted kidnapping. Tara was safe and so was Margaret. The next day, Tara met me here at TM. She was a wreck, Jax. I have never seen her so frightened. Even, when she was a kid and I saved her from being beaten by her damn father, she never showed that kind of fear." Jax knows exactly why she was so afraid the baby. "Any ways Jax, Tara told me she was leaving Charming. I understood she had to do that. But, I made her promise to call me everyday so I could know she was safe. And, Jax, she kept her word and calls me daily." Thanks, Piney, "Do you know where she is?" Piney looks at me and sighs. "She calls us on one of those damn burners...Juice can't trace her calls." Jax can't help but chuckle to himself, knowing he gave her the phone.

Jax thinks, I have to get out of TM and away from everything to figure out my next move. One thing he knows for sure; he will be back in Tara's arms by the end of the day.